Fields of Gold
by DeansDarkDream
Summary: AU Dean Winchester is the manger of an upscale stable looking for the man who will warm his heart. Sam is looking for a man to give him the love he craves. They feel intense passion between them. Is it true love? Based on a RL love story. slash/no wincest
1. Chapter 1

Dedication: To my Angels. I love you with every beat of my heart.  
Title: Fields of Gold  
Authors: DDD, Z, L, and A  
Pairings: Dean/Sam, Dean/Cas/Adam, Dean/Sky  
Rating: NC17  
Warnings: Based on a RL love story. slash, threesome, rimming, hummers, romance, angst.  
Disclaimer: We don't own Dean, Sam, Cas or Adam.  
Summary: Dean Winchester is the manager of the Castlewood Equine Estate. He has many men willing to warm his bed but he longs for the one who will warm his heart. Sam Stivaletti works at his family's Italian restaurant and dreams of the man who will will give him the love he has always craved. Dean and Sam have already discovered a great mutual passion between them. Could it become true love?  
A/N: Zach and I began work on this story before his death. After 18 months, I can finally work on it again. A few friends are helping me finish and I want to say I love you all. Saddle up my friends, it is going to be a wild ride! Love DDD

**Fields of Gold **

The day was full of unpleasant surprises. Ernesto finding moldy hay in the latest delivery, requiring all 141 remaining bales to be unstacked and inspected before being piled back up again, made evening feeding late. I had to spend an extra 45 minutes scooping grain and measuring out vitamin and joint supplements before hopping on Xia bareback and loping out the gate for home.

As we trotted up the little hill to my barn I could see that the kitchen lights were on. That meant Sam was in my kitchen which meant home made Italian food and hot sex. My cock gave a happy twitch as I fed and blanketed Xia. I had a hard on when I walked in the house so I greeted Sam with a full body hug from behind letting him feel it.

"Dean," he growled when I bit the side of his neck. He tipped his head back to my shoulder and kissed me, rubbing his firm ass into my crotch in bump and grind fashion. "You're late. Tough day?"

"Moldy hay."

He wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Yuck."

I giggled at him. "Exactly."

We'd met eight years ago when I was still riding professionally, before the accident. I'd made reservations at one of his parents' restaurants Stiva's and showed up to find that I wasn't on the list. Sam had come out from the kitchen to see what the problem was. One thing led to another, and we ended up dining nude in the middle of his king sized bed between rounds two and three of the hot sex I mentioned earlier.

Samuel Stivaletti is gorgeous, hazel eyes, tan skin and long sable hair, which I realized early on was his emotional barometer. Tonight his hair was freshly washed and hanging free past his collar so I knew we would make love for hours before and after dinner. He's 28 to my 30, taut, toned and tall. His back is amazing, wide at the shoulders, tapering down to narrow hips and a tight ass.

Sam had a security code for my place, and usually surprised me three or four nights a week, joining in whatever/whomever I had going that night. He was a favorite with my friends, not only for his amazing tongue, but also for the Italian pastries he frequently brought with him from Stiva's. I have no idea what he did on the evenings he wasn't with me, but early in our relationship he'd sometimes stay away for several days. When he'd return, I'd notice what appeared to be ligature marks on his wrists and bruises on his body. He never tried to take me there, so I never asked him about it and quit looking for them.

He turned to me and kissed me deeply, gazed lustfully into my eyes, then took me by the hand and pulled me into the library. As we entered the room, he stepped behind me and began to pull my shirt over my head while he steered me to the piano, shedding clothes along the way. Pushing me forward till my chest rested on the lid, he licked, nibbled and kissed his way from the back of my neck, along the center of my spine, down the valley of my ass, and ended up kneeling below me with my balls in his mouth.

Now, _that's_ a welcome home.

While Sam's tongue worked its magic on me I hung there with quivering knees, sighing and moaning, squirming back into his face when he did something mind blowing. By the time he stood up and pressed the dripping head of his rock hard cock to me, I was dizzy with arousal, and sank back onto him with a deep groan of pleasure. He lay over me, kissed my neck and ran his hands down my thighs.

In this mood, Sam is a tough act to follow, and it's how I like him best. He is gentle, perceptive, patient, and strong, able to go for as long as I want him to. The perfect top. Other hair styles bring with them other moods. Hair gelled and wild, he can be a little rough, more concerned with his own needs than mine, and requiring my active participation. Hair tied back, he is quiet and remote, and sex with him is almost spiritual; no words, few sounds, just sensation after amazing sensation. In any mood, he is someone I enjoy being with, and I love him. It is only his unknown darker side that prevents me from giving myself to him completely. That, and the knowledge that he doesn't feel those emotions for me, no matter how much he cares for me.

Sam fucked me slowly, long strokes alternating with short ones during which he tilted his hips to graze my prostate, bringing me to my toes as I fogged the glossy piano lid with my moans. Eventually he built up a rhythm, stroking me in time with his thrusts. We came together, him in me, and me in the kitchen towel he'd thoughtfully brought along. We lingered for a while, kissing and hugging, but hunger drove us back to the kitchen, and soon we were eating spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread, naked at the counter, washing it down with a bottle of wine.

We tidied the kitchen and headed up the wide staircase to the master bedroom. It overlooked my acreage, the stream that meanders through the estates, and a few miles distant, the steeple atop the big barn at Castlewood. Tonight it was clear and the sky was filled with stars. Our shower was leisurely, more foreplay than necessity. I love playing in the shower, and Sam was in the mood to indulge me. We slicked each other up with the shower gel, and explored each other, lingering when a certain spot drew a particularly enthusiastic moan.

While preferring to top, Sam occasionally likes to be fucked; it happens only in the hair loose and flowing mood. When we reached the bed, he crawled forward, dropping onto his stomach in the middle of the big mattress, arms and legs spread, cock pointing toward his toes. This was my cue, so I knelt between his feet and began to run my hands lightly over his skin, licking the spot behind his knees that I found the first time he asked me do this. He moaned softly as I worked my way up, ruffling the hair on his thighs, pressing my thumbs lightly between his legs while I squeezed his ass, running my tongue here and there, teasing him.

I'm pretty versatile, enjoying either side of a good fuck, but when I top, I feel like a different person entirely. It is much more an act of control combined with desire than being taken. When I'm being fucked by a familiar partner, I lose myself in it, trusting them to take care of me. But when I top, I must do the taking care, paying attention to the feel, the mood, of my partner, and his comfort and pleasure become my universe.

My cock was leaking precum to spare, so I wet two fingers and worked one slowly into him, feeling the warmth of his body envelop me. He's always very tight, but soon loosened enough to take my other finger easily. I know that he allows only me this privilege, and I honor that trust, concentrating fully on him, wanting him to enjoy every move I make. I enjoy fingering him almost as much as I enjoy fucking him. My sensitive fingertips probed him gently, inside and out, and the smooth heat of him was very arousing. When Sam was clutching the sheet in his fists and moving restlessly, I removed my fingers and slid forward. He lifted his hips slightly for my entry, and I eased into him, awed as always at this joining of one man to another in the most intimate way possible.

He was very relaxed and accepted me with only slight resistance, grunting softly as I sunk deeper into him. When I could go no further I leaned over him, bracing myself on my arms, and let him adjust to my friendly invasion. After a minute he shifted his body under me, reached back for my hands, laced our fingers and pulled them out to our sides so that I slowly slid down onto him, my chest to his back, rising slightly as he breathed. I began to thrust slowly with just my hips, rocking in and out of him. It's almost hypnotic, and we can do this for quite a long time, neither of us building to climax, just enjoying the quiet of the night and the feel of each other.

Laying there on him, buried in his body, I couldn't think of any place I'd rather be. The house was quiet, the room dark; it seemed as though we were the only two people on the planet. I nuzzled my face into his neck, breathed in the smell of him, kissed that soft spot just below his ear, nibbled on the muscles of his shoulder, loved him. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was curved in a soft smile. He made little _mmm_ sounds now and then, tightening his fingers in mine, arching his back to bring me deeper into him. Heaven should be this good.

After a while I pushed one of his knees up the bed, and rolled him onto his side, straddling his lower leg. This is his favorite position because the penetration is very deep and I can touch both sides of his body. I stroked his cock, and circled my other hand low on his back, all the while fucking him deeply. My perineum rode his thigh with perfect pressure. We didn't speed up as the end drew near, it took me months to develop the control to be able to do this for him, just kept a steady pace, so that our orgasms built very slowly. When we finally came, it was within a stroke or two of each other. I always pull out of him, and wrap both our cocks in one fist, his hand closing over mine, and we cum on his belly. We've done this hundreds of times; it is special for both of us, and I wouldn't change a thing.

We settled down to sleep, Sam on his back with me draped over him. When I stirred a couple hours later, Sam ran his hand reassuringly down my arm. I was surprised that he was awake, so I watched him as I drifted off. He lay still, staring at the ceiling, his face sad, and I felt a flutter of unease in my stomach, though I couldn't have said why.

"Dean, that new mare's got thrush."

"What?" I scowled at James. "That wasn't in the vet check."

"Well, she's got it. Right rear." As he headed out the door, I walked down a few stalls, and went in with the new horse. She had her right rear hoof cocked, and picked it up quickly when I ran my hand down her leg. As I pressed a thumb into her frog, the black ooze combined with the tell-tale odor made the diagnosis simple.

"Damn," I muttered as I headed for Faith's office, but stopped as a thought occurred to me. Taylor (hunky, but, unfortunately, straight as the proverbial arrow), our farrier, was coming tomorrow. He could trim her and see how bad it was. I went back, and picked the mare's foot as deeply as I could, made sure her shavings were dry, then blanketed her for the night.

I'm Dean Winchester, general manager of a stable for a variety of horsey sports hunter/jumper, dressage, eventing, the odd pleasure horse, with a couple reining cowhorse types thrown in to keep it interesting. At any given time we have 25-35 horses, each with its owner, rider, groom, etc. I train many of the horses, and keep track of the big picture.

During the off season it's pretty mellow, but once the shows start up, it can be a madhouse. Horses shipping out and arriving, riders throwing hissy fits, grooms braiding manes and tails for the jumping arena when the horse is headed for the dressage ring. The fringe benefits are great. If you want to see some hot male bodies, go to a horse show. Damn near the entire body is used in riding a horse, and a rider at the level we consort with has had a lifetime of training, hours a day in the saddle, more hours at the gym, and it shows in lean, hard, beautifully muscled bodies. There aren't a lot of men _that_ into horses, but the ones who are, hot damn.

Over the years, we've earned a reputation as a top notch, alternative lifestyle friendly barn. James and Ernesto met here seven years ago when I took over, bringing my groom, James, with me. They'd been partners since. The minute we set foot on the place, Ernesto stalked James up one barn aisle and down the other, finally cornering him in the hay shed, and staking his claim, so to speak, over a bale of alfalfa. James runs the fleet of stable boys required to keep a place the size of Castlewood going every day. He also monitors our inventory of alfalfa, grass hay, grain, supplements, stall shavings, etc, and tells Bella when we're getting low. Ernesto is the head groundskeeper, responsible for maintaining the buildings, fences, equipment, etc, that keeps Castlewood functioning. They live in the roomy apartment directly above my head, and are responsible for the daily welfare of the ridiculously expensive, overly pampered equine athletes lounging, eating, and voiding in the rows of stalls in our barns.

Bella, our CPA, keeps the books, invoicing and pays the bills. Tall and willowy, she is devoted to her other half, Faith. Faith is our vet. She worked for a large animal clinic outside Chicago after she graduated, which is where she met Bella. Faith got tired of treating torn cow udders and impacted pig rectums, so they looked for someplace as different from Chicago as it could be and wound up here, in East Texas. I'd been at Castlewood for about a year at that point, and had been toying with the idea of hiring our own vet. With so many horses, one of them was always needing shots, getting kicked, or developing colic. I was tired of begging the local vets to fit us into their schedule When I saw Faith's ad in Equine News, I called her. She wanted more than we could afford, but the offer of living rent-free in the cute little stone cottage by the creek at the back of the property clinched the deal, and they moved in the following week.

They also handle all the transport stuff, health certificates, truck and trailer booking, etc.. required to get a horse from point A to point B, all on time, and in good health. Faith looks like a cheerleader all tits, teeth and blond hair but she takes care of Bella and our horses with a fierce competence that made her invaluable and has me just slightly afraid of her.

JD Morgan, a very successful architect with a penchant for Gran Prix riders, owns Castlewood, but rarely makes an appearance. He prefers to travel with his rider du jour, at least until they tire of each other, at which time he'll hang out at the stable for a week or two, issuing half-assed orders no one follows, until another comely face sweeps him off to Devon or Wellington or Aachen. He keeps a home out at the west edge of the property, a large modern ranch, complete with pool, hot tub, tennis court, etc. It's a lovely place, but empty for the most part as he jets across the country ferrying his current boyfriend to the next stop on the circuit.

I'd had an outstanding junior career, winning rider of the year when I was 19, and at 22, was headed for an equally illustrious domination of the pro circuit until an over-trained, under-talented 11 year old gelding refused a jump, a wide oxer, pile-driving my left shoulder into the upright. One year and three operations later, it worked okay, but couldn't handle the stress of competition, riding 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. So, at 23, I was unemployed.

I was JD's flavor of the month at the time of the accident. He came home with me, and stayed close by until I was safely through the first surgery. Then eased his way out the door to romance my successor, a twit named Monty. But he was good to me when we were together, and I appreciated his friendship, and the freedom he gave me in running Castlewood. I'd met Sam only a few months before the accident. He and my cousin Adam kept me alive through the depression, worked out with me through the physical therapy, and gave me the emotional support I needed to get back to living after my life changed so abruptly.

I'd been riding a Castlewood horse when I was hurt. One of several owned by Chloe Teters and when I was fit to work, she presented me to JD who was ecstatic to find someone he knew and trusted to help him out of a distasteful situation. His barn manager had just been caught _in_ _flagrante_ _delicto_ in the tack room with the barely 18 year old daughter of one of his major owners, and he'd been instructed to 'do something' about it immediately. He fired the guy at 7am, hired me at 8, and I've been here since, finding the job challenging, satisfying, and, thanks to JD's lingering affection for me, well paying.

So here I am at 30, blond hair, green eyes, in good shape from a fast metabolism and all those hours in the saddle. I have frequent, satisfying sex with a small, close circle of friends, men I've known for years, and an occasional trick, like the hunky Swedish vet student from a couple years ago. I'm fairly content with my life, though lately I'm feeling the urge for something more. A man of my own maybe?

My parents live in a rambling old house at the edge of a neighboring town, and we see each other frequently. I came out to them when I was 16 and heading off for my first full season of competition. They took the news with aplomb, finding it no odder than the fact that I could make a living dressing up in tight white breeches, and riding horses that cost more than their house. My mother welcomed my friends into her home with the same warmth and affection that she showed her pets. She fed and loved them, one and all.

Castlewood started life out in the boonies, but civilization crept out to meet us. Now the 400 acres we occupy is surrounded on three sides by country estates, 5 acres minimum, and by a huge open air mall across the road. The folks who live in the nearest estates have to put up with the scent of horses and their byproducts when the wind is right. Castlewood is a beautiful stable with its stately rows of pines, imposing stone buildings, and sleek, pricey horses dotting the pastures, and lends an air of country gentrification to the neighborhood.

I own one of the larger estates, purchased when they were practically giving them away cause no one wanted to live a whole thirty minutes from the nearest Starbucks. Now there's one across the road in the mall, and my place is worth fifty times what I paid for it. It's about four miles from my little barn to Castlewood, and I usually ride a horse back and forth. I own a Quarter horse mare named Xia, and the ride through the gathering dusk along the bridle paths that wander around the estates is my favorite time of day. I have a modest house by neighborhood standards and I cavort about in it with various friends almost every night. It really is a lovely place to live.

"Dean." I heard the Oklahoma drawl of my favorite cowboy and turned to smile into his brown eyes, shadowed by the brim of his Stetson. "How they hangin?" he inquired, giving my butt a friendly squeeze on his way past. At twenty-six, Zane is a good looking guy with a rangy build suitable to lounging in the saddle all day. And he's the real deal, son of a three time all around world champion cowboy, and a champion reiner in his own right. We ride together frequently, and my cow work is coming along nicely. Xia's got the build and breeding for it, and Zane is a patient teacher. He grew up on his daddy's huge ranch, riding and roping his way through the daily life of a working cattle ranch as soon as he could stay on a horse. He's an excellent trainer, having that extra bit of horse savvy that separates the good from the great. He rodeoed when he was young, taking the Youth title 2 years in a row, but quit to concentrate on reining and cow work.

He lives with Chris, my money guy, in one of the estates on the far side of the development from me. Chris bought it the same time his dad advised me to buy my place. After I was injured, I realized I needed to get smarter about money since I'd be earning less of it. Chris's father took my winnings, rider contract fees, product endorsements, and insurance settlement, and turned them into a mid seven figure portfolio by the time I was 28. He passed me along to Chris after He joined the firm.

I introduced Chris to Zane after luring him away from a stable on the other side of the county four years ago. When Zane got out of his truck that first day and realized we were a jumper and dressage barn, he almost drove away. I convinced him to take a look around, introduced him to James and Ernesto, and showed him the south barn, which already housed Xia and Bella's two Quarter horse geldings. When I told him we'd be happy to keep a few steers around the place, Faith sent our van for his horses the next day. He met Chris a week later when he stopped by the barn to have me sign some papers. They dated for a month, Zane moved in, and, as different as they are, they are one of the strongest couples I know.

"Hey. Shoer's coming tomorrow morning. I'll have him do Cher first." Who but a gay cowboy would name his horse Cher? The fact that she is a world caliber cutting horse, and had won the national finals in February only makes it funnier.

"Yeah? Well, Ah may show up jista git a gander at Taylor's ass," he said with a wink and sauntered off across the yard to the south barn. A minute later I heard Cher's nicker as she greeted him. Horses know who love 'em. I watched Zane work Cher for a while, appreciating the endless training it took to achieve those sliding stops and perfect roll backs. I stopped by the office to check in with Bella, and make sure money matters were under control. She was running her fingers through her hair in frustration, and crossed her eyes at me while she argued with the hay guy about the moldy bales.

"I don't give a rat's ass what it looked like when it got delivered to _you._ It's moldy now and I won't feed it. Get a truck out here by noon Wednesday or I'm going to take out an ad in Equine News and _you'll_ be paying _me_ to replace it!" She banged the phone down. "That guy is such a jerk. Is there no where else we can buy alfalfa?"

"Probably. Call around and see what you can find. We'll change suppliers if you can get the same deal."

"Thanks, Dean." She looked up at me. "Taylor called and said he's sending a new guy tomorrow, Skyler something."

I looked at her in horror. "Jesus, he can't do that. This is the last shoeing for Chloe's horses shipping to Westview. It needs to be right."

"I told him that. He swears this guy is good. He was insulted that I thought he'd send someone who didn't know what they were doing."

"I don't give a shit if he's insulted or not." I thought for a moment. "I'll let him do Cher first. If he's ok with her, he can do the others."

I walked back out to the barn shaking my head. It was always something. And what the hell kind of name was Skyler for a horse shoer?

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and I was unsaddling Xia in my barn at 6:15. It was warm, so I stopped at the pool and stripped, diving in the deep end, and swimming a few laps to wash off the grunge of the day. I eventually surfaced at the shallow end right into a big droopy dick and balls dangling over the edge of the pool. Adam was laughing down at me as I put my hands on his knees, and pulled myself up when he leaned forward to kiss me, ruffling my wet hair.

Adam Anders is a gym rat and looks it, well-muscled and fit. He's a 3rd cousin twice removed or something, a couple months younger than me, and we've been best pals since we were kids. We explored each other's bodies thoroughly one long, hot August when we were fifteen and our families had taken adjoining cabins on a lake. That was the summer we both realized we liked boys, and that soft pink cock in front of my face represented a lot of firsts for me. The feelings that surged through me when I first slid it into my mouth one night in the bottom of a beached rowboat were overwhelming. Physically it was unbelievably arousing. The smell and taste and feel of him blotted everything else from my mind and I came in my shorts while I was still sucking him. Emotionally it was a watershed moment for me. It was the first time in my life that I'd felt completely right with myself. All the confusing, murky signals my mind and body had been sending me for the past few years made sense, and I finally understood. Adam will always hold a special place in my heart. You never forget your first.

"I brought stuff for burgers," he said, slipping into the water next to me. He wrapped an arm around my chest from behind, and pushed off across the pool on his back, towing me along between his legs, his dick bobbing against my back. We swam and groped and dunked each other for an hour, playing like we were still kids. We know one another inside out, and I'm more comfortable with him than anyone I know.

After a while I hopped out to turn on the grill and came back to sit on the pool steps. He dog paddled over between my knees and wrapped his arms around my waist, taking my soft cock into his mouth. I leaned back on my hands while he worked me to orgasm, following his mouth up and down my shaft with his hand. Since we've been trading blow jobs for fifteen years, he knows what I like, and it didn't take long. As he raised his wet mouth from my softening dick, I kissed him, running my tongue around his lips. "Mmmmm," I purred, hugging him. "I'll return the favor for dessert."

We grilled burgers and ate naked by the pool. I seem to eat an awful lot of meals with no clothes on. We enjoyed the sunset over the tree line beyond my pasture. Did I mention I love living here? When it was almost dark we gathered up the leftovers and went inside. Adam had brought chocolate covered strawberries from the bakery, so we ate them snuggled up on the sofa in the den, watching _Casa Blanca_. I was propped on my side up against one arm of the couch, and Adam was lying in front of me, nestled into my crotch, my soft cock wedged into the crack of his ass. He comes over one or two nights a week, and we usually end up just like this, fooling around on the couch while we watch TV. I was just licking the last of the chocolate from his fingers, and thinking about licking dessert number two when I heard the soft ding of the security system. I clicked the mike for the gate. "Yeah?"

"Dean?" I heard Cas's cultured voice. "Got room for one more?"

"Sure," I chuckled, clicking the gate and front door locks for him.

"Back here in the den," I called when I heard him come in the front door. Castiel James Novak is the second son of a Pennsylvania coal baron, and the nicest rich person I know. He positively drips money, from the top of his well-styled ebony hair to the toes of his Pradas, but you could dress him from the Salvation Army and it wouldn't matter. He's a good guy, and he can ride a horse like no one else. He's the leading money winner on the circuit right now and there's an Olympic gold medal tacked to his horse's stall door. He rides out of Castlewood, lucky us. He's one of the best-looking men I know. Thick jet black hair, sapphire blue eyes and a wide mouth that smiles easily. He captures your attention the minute he enters the room.

He peeked into the den, grinned when he saw Adam and me, and dropped his clothes at the door. He knelt in front of Adam, grabbed his dick and kissed him, reaching up to squeeze my shoulder with his other hand. He's very fond of Adam. I've often thought they'd be good for each other in a permanent sort of way, but nothing has come of it in the five years since I introduced them. When he finished greeting Adam, he pulled me down for a kiss, and we sort of slid to the floor in a pile. When we got sorted out, Cas was leaning against the couch, Adam was straddling his thighs facing him, and I was on my side with my head in their laps. It turned out to be a good set up and we pursued it for quite a while.

I couldn't fit both their dicks in my mouth at the same time, so I held them together and ran my tongue up one side and down the other, lingering at the top to lick and suck. The sound of them kissing above me was hard to ignore, and occasionally I went up to join them. I was curled around Adam, who had a hand in my crotch, stroking me, rolling my nuts in his palm, and slipping a finger back now and then to give my pucker a little poke, just enough to get my attention.

Eventually Cas dragged Adam back onto the sofa, and knelt between his legs. I lubed them both, running my fist up and down Cas's cock while my other hand found Adam's soft pucker, pressing a finger home quickly since he was already pretty excited. I watched as Cas entered him with one long gliding thrust. Adam began to moan, the sound changing from mild discomfort to pleasure as Cas slow fucked him using his whole length. I leaned against Adam's side, one hand on his cock, the other on my own, his arm draped over my shoulder as he rubbed my chest, pinching a nipple now and then.

Observing sex is interesting. When you're caught up in fucking, you miss so many of the finer details. How Adam closed his eyes each time Cas plunged deep into him, then opened them on the out stroke. The tightening of Adam's nipples as he neared orgasm. The ripples flowing across Cas's abdominals as his hips worked. As Cas began to thrust faster, I stood and stroked myself, watching Adam carefully so we could all shoot within a few seconds of each other. I don't know why I get such a kick out of that, but I do, so I work at it.

Suddenly Cas pulled out and jerked himself quickly, leaning over Adam on one arm. As soon as he began to shoot, he barely hung on to his cock, letting it twitch and jerk in his loose fist, pulsing out semen in hot little bursts. I was only a moment behind, and when my first load hit his belly, Adam groaned deeply and joined in. The three of us grunted and moaned for a couple minutes, and amused ourselves rubbing three different consistencies of cum around Adam's belly until he started to giggle. Eventually we staggered arm in arm up the stairs, down the hall, and into the shower.

It's an orgy room all by itself, six feet square with a tile bench around three sides, and detachable shower massage heads all over the place. Adam's talented mouth pulled another orgasm out of Cas leaving him sprawled on the bench too spent to move, so we hosed him off with a shower head. Once we were clean and mostly dry, we piled onto the bed and dragged the quilt up to our chins, arranging arms and legs for maximum contact and comfort. Since it's my house I usually get the middle, but tonight I climbed in last, and let Cas pull Adam into the curve of his body. I cozied up to Cas's warm backside, and we were off to dreamland.

The alarm woke us at 6 am, and I buzzed Maria in the kitchen that there would be three for breakfast. Yes, I have a housekeeper. She arrives at 5:30 every weekday to get my ass out of bed on time, and send me off with a healthy breakfast in my tummy. Then she cleans a little, starts dinner, and is home by the time her kids get out of school. I hired her shortly after I bought the house. She was young, scared, and illegal, so I got her legal, helped her learn English, and introduced her to her future husband Fernando, Ernesto's cousin. I pay her well and in return, she's nice to my friends, and takes good care of me. We've become close over the years, and I know it would make her happy if I found some_one_ to come home to at night.

We grabbed a quick wake-up shower and trooped downstairs to pancakes, sausage, and orange juice. Adam is a lawyer with a large law firm in the city. He had an eight o'clock meeting, so he headed out when I did at 7. Cas had nothing going till afternoon, so he followed me to the barn to help re-set the jumping arena. We change it up regularly to keep the horses from getting stale.

I was supervising the delivery of two new jumpers when I heard a truck I didn't recognize come up the drive. It pulled in past the horse van, and stopped about ten feet away, to where I couldn't see the cab. I figured it had to be the new farrier. When I looked at the truck again, a long denim-covered leg was stretched from the seat out onto the ground, and a lean golden arm extended to the edge of the door. This was definitely _not_ Taylor.

When I first took over Castlewood, I'd tried every farrier in the five-county area, finally settling on Taylor as our primary shoer. He's good with the horses, firm, but quiet, and has a knack for the subtleties of trimming a hoof . Our horses move better and hold up longer under hard work when Tay does their feet. He has a few guys working for him, but always does our horses himself, and I was not going to welcome this new guy with open arms until he proved to be as good as Tay. As I stared, the golden arm became a smoothly curved shoulder that merged into a beautiful wide back and narrow hips.

Everyone's forever starts somewhere and, although I didn't know it at the time, mine began when Skyler Edwards unfolded his 6'1" self from the cab of the truck. He wore bib overalls over a white tank, and a baseball cap on backwards to keep his golden blond hair out of his face. Some guys just have a presence, a 'something' about them that draws you, like a lemming to a cliff. Skyler had it. My gaze traveled slowly down his body and back up again. By the time I reached his face my respiration had increased and my palms were sweaty.

James and Ernesto had come up behind me and were watching with raised eyebrows and open mouths.

"Madre de Dios," breathed Ernesto.

James was more succinct. "Holy fuck."

I couldn't speak at all. He was spectacular. His eyes were the clear blue of the sea, crinkled at the corners; set in that strong, tan face, they were heart stopping. He was lean and hard, all sinewy muscle from wrestling uncooperative horses around all day. From his neck to his wrists, one curve melted into another, accentuated by a light sprinkle of soft golden hair. I couldn't see his legs, but doubted they would be any less awesome than the rest of him.

He was looking down at his clipboard as he began to walk toward us. Little puffs of dust kicked up from his long strides and hung in the air. When he got near, he glanced up with the beginnings of a smile, but when he met my gaze, he stopped in his tracks, and the smile died from his mouth. The pit of my stomach knotted up so quickly that I put a hand on my gut. He stood there with his clipboard clutched in one hand, knuckles white, arm muscles tensed. It was one of those moments that you read about, but think can't possibly happen in real life.

"I…uh…I'm…" He stopped and swallowed. "I'm Sky, the shoer," he murmured, staring at me.

I stood there mute, rooted to the ground, until James goosed me. "Ooh. Dean Winchester, manager. Hi." I managed to shuffle forward, and held out my hand. He stared at it for a second, and then closed his fingers over mine in a gradually tightening grip that had me wincing in a few seconds. Farriers have strong hands.

He dropped my hand with a chagrined look. "Sorry." He glanced around the yard. "Where should I park?"

"Back up to the middle door. We'll use those cross ties." I waved a hand toward the barn door, and he nodded and got back in his truck. The sight of those bibs tightening over his round ass as he lifted his leg into the truck had all three of us gulping for air. I went to get Cher. When I arrived with the mare, Sky had his truck opened up, his nail box out, and was buckling his heavy leather shoeing apron around his hips where it settled low in front, accentuating his package. I closed my eyes and counted to five, and then turned the mare around in the cross tie stall where she switched her tail, and eyed Sky almost as much as I had.

"She's pretty quiet, but I'll hold her for you," I said as he walked around Cher, talking softly to her and scratching her neck. You face the back of the horse a lot when you're shoeing so I had time to study Sky, and I liked everything I saw. He was good with the horse, quiet, but firm, and he had an incredible ass.

Zane came whistling around the corner, and stopped dead when he caught sight of Sky leaning casually on Cher. "Good Gawd Almighty, who are you?"

I jumped in before Sky could get his mouth open. "Zane, Sky, one of Taylor's guys." Sky held out his hand. Zane stared at it for a long moment just like I had, and I wondered how Sky got through a day. I suppose not every man he shook hands with was gay, but still. They shook, lingering a little. Zane was happily partnered with Chris, but even he wasn't immune to Sky's charm or pheromones or whatever the hell it was.

Sky said. "Pleasure to meet you." Zane gave him another once over before he headed off to the south barn to get his reining horse.

Before he started on her front feet, Sky asked me to trot her out and back, and on the return, I glanced up to see if he wanted us to go again, but he was staring at my crotch and apparently hadn't seen a single step the horse had taken. I silently thanked whatever gods had made me put on my snuggest training tights this morning; it's always nice to know you're looking hot when you need to be. When he realized we were just standing there, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before asking me to trot her again. Finally I left him with James on the lead, and went off to ride a three year old filly that Chloe had purchased sight unseen few months ago. She was a joy to ride. We worked on gait transitions for a while, and then I handed the reins to one of the stable boys and went to take a leak.

I pushed the door open, and there stood Sky with his dick in one hand pissing a hard stream into the urinal. Christ, what a sight. He'd undone the straps of his bibs which were hanging halfway down his thighs and had his other hand under his tank, running it over his chest and belly, obviously enjoying himself. He was wearing a jock under the bibs and had pulled his cock out one side of the pouch. A trimmed golden triangle curled around the base of his penis, the tan cheeks of his ass were framed by the white straps of the jock and, once again, I was struck dumb.

I stood there staring at his cock long past what could have been shrugged off as natural male curiosity. He finished peeing, stroked himself a couple times, either for my benefit or just because it felt good, and was tucking back into the jock before I managed to drag my eyes up to his amused gaze. He cocked an eyebrow at me as he hitched up the bib straps and slid by me out the door, brushing his crotch lightly along my arm on the way past. I closed my eyes and hung my head. Damn, Dean, get a grip. The guy was turning me into a moron. I pissed, gave it a couple strokes to make myself feel better, and headed back to the barn where Sky was finishing up.

I hazarded a glance at Sky but he was absorbed in the final rasping of a front foot. He set it down, narrowed his eyes at each hoof in turn, and pronounced the gelding done. He glanced at me and blinked, expecting James, I guess, and I gave him a bright smile, hoping to get by the men's room incident as quickly as possible. He held my gaze a moment, expressionless, and then turned to watch the skinny grey mare come down the barn aisle. I swapped leads with James, and led the mare into the cross ties.

"She's thrushy in her off hind," I said. "I need you to trim her close so we can see how bad it is."

He nodded as he watched the mare cock that toe. "Sore."

"A little," I agreed.

He nodded again, and went to work on her. When he had her trimmed, he waved me down so he could show me. Our knees bumped when I squatted next to him, but I didn't move away. We decided that the mare wasn't too bad, and he finished shoeing her. I gave her a tetanus shot, and James took her off to soak her foot in an antiseptic bath. I got called away to help load an uncooperative Arab, and when I got back, Sky had packed up and all I could see of him was the dust trail his truck made as it went down the lane. I stared after him until the air cleared.

The following Saturday morning we had a dressage test at Show Park, the local horse show venue, and I stopped for a mocha on the way. Someone held the door as I reached it, and I glanced up with a smile and a 'thanks,' but it stuck in my throat when I saw Skys grinning face. His pale blue polo and khakis were a far cry from the bibs. He looked absolutely edible.

He followed me in, and we joined the line. After taking a long look at my tall black boots, white breeches, and formal shirt under the short black jacket, he met my eyes again. "Dressage? Thought you rode jumpers."

"I do, mostly. Today is just a test before the regionals, and everybody rides. It's good experience. How'd you know I jumped?"

"Tay said." He stared into the pastry case for a moment, then turned back to me and bit his lower lip. From the expression on his face, I thought he might be about to declare his undying love, but instead he said, "I'll be back out early Monday to check the grey mare." I nodded, we got our coffees, and left.

I got to the barn around 7am on Monday, just in time to watch Sky back into place by the middle doors. I was determined to act like a normal person this time and wandered casually over to his truck. As I opened the door for him, he handed me a to-go cup. "Grande mocha, one sugar, lots of whipped cream" he announced, grinning at me when my face registered my surprise. Not just good looking, and hung like the proverbial horse, but kind and thoughtful, too? Could he get any better? I had to find out. I looked into those mesmerizing blue eyes, putting a little heat in it, and the humor drained out of his face to be replaced with something that made my heart pound.

"Come over tonight," I purred softly. "I want to spend some time with you without an audience." I cut my eyes at James and Faith, smiling at us from the office door. He looked at me carefully, running his eyes over my face before nodding, got out of the truck, and went to work. I enjoyed my mocha while he approved the grey mare's progress, and just before he left, I tucked a note with my cell # and address into his front bib pocket. He patted it and gave me a smile.

I called Maria with a few requests, then called Sam and Adam, who each had permanent security codes to my place, and told them I needed the house to myself tonight. With that accomplished, I zombied through the rest of the day. When I got home, I showered quickly, jogged down the stairs, and puttered in the kitchen waiting for Sky who arrived around 7, freshly showered and looking like pure sin.

"Hello, Cowboy." I greeted him and pulled him through the door. He followed me to the kitchen, and I poured wine for both of us, then led the winding way to the jungle pool with its hot tub tucked in one corner. Maria had laid out towels, and placed candles here and there.

Then things kind of ground to a halt. I'm not a bashful guy, but I just couldn't relax with him. My palms were sweaty, and I couldn't think of a damn thing to say that didn't sound idiotic. I turned away from him slightly, cursing this as a bad idea when I felt his big warm hand slide down my chest. He spread his feet slightly, pulled me back against him, and put his mouth to my ear.

"Thanks for having me over," he said softly. "I was gonna ask if you didn't." He hooked his hand up over my opposite shoulder and squeezed softly, holding me against him.

I draped a hand over his arm, and we stood there quite a while, sipping our wine and watching the sun go down. His chest rose and fell in deep, even breaths behind me, and I could feel the steady thud of his heart against my back. When it was almost dark, he turned to me, and I felt his warm breath wash across my cheek. "Gonna feed me?"

"Yeah. Sorry." I reluctantly pulled free of his arm, and stepped away from him to get some platters of cheese, crackers, fruit and cold chicken out of the fridge by the barbecue. I arranged them on the edge of the fire pit, and he sat down close to me on a chaise lounge while we ate. At one point he plucked a grape and offered it to me, his hand a couple inches from my mouth so that I had to reach for it. I took the first knuckle of his finger as well, and heard him suck in a quick breath as I tickled the tip of it with my tongue while it slid from my lips. Such a hokey old move, but sooo effective.

I guess that broke the ice cause the next thing I knew, I was on my back on the chaise, and Sky was above me, braced on those beautiful golden arms, lowering his face to mine. Dear lord, could he kiss. I've been kissed by a lot of men, a few women, and a couple horses but he was in a class by himself. Slow, deep, sincere. He kissed like he meant it. I've met people who hug that way. You come away from one of their hugs all warm inside with a silly smile on your face. After several minutes of learning every inch of my mouth, he pulled back slightly and looked at me. I lay there, slack jawed, eyes shut, totally undone.

I took a page from James's book with a heartfelt, breathless, "Holy Fuck."

He sort of choked, and jumped to his feet. I opened my eyes and looked at him, but he avoided my gaze and stripped off his clothes quickly, then pulled me to my feet and tugged my shirt off. If he looked good dressed, it was nothing compared to how he looked naked. He was golden all over except for his small dark nipples, pinkish brown cock, and darker scrotum which hung full and inviting between his thighs. The only hair on his body was a light haze on his forearms and lower legs, and a little ribbon trailing down from his belly button to the blond triangle I'd seen in the men's room at the barn. The rest of him was smooth and tan, a silken veneer over the hard planes of his chest, and the tight muscles of his belly. Wow.

I finally roused myself enough to help, and we eased into the hot bubbling water, settling thigh to thigh on a deep bench. He draped his arms out along the rim of the tub, his fingertips resting lightly on my shoulder. I gathered my wits about me, determined to stop acting like a love struck teenager.

We talked more easily after that. I learned that he was twenty-seven and had grown up in Kentucky with an older brother and sister, leaving the one horse town of his birth the day after high school graduation. He'd ridden all his life and loved horses, but needed to make a living, so becoming a farrier seemed like the best option. After two years of school in Missouri, he'd been practicing for six years and had moved here a couple months ago. His brother had gone to college with Taylor's sister, and Tay had offered him a job when one of his other guys moved to California. As I told him about my career-ending accident, he pulled me a little closer, hearing the regret in my voice, and I leaned into him, enjoying the solid comfort of his body.

When we were both pruney and sweating, I pulled him up out of the tub and shoved him into the pool, leaping in after him with a big splash. I came up sputtering with no Sky in sight, and thought 'fuck, he can't swim and I've killed him.' I was about to dive and look for him when he grabbed me around the waist from behind, and shot us both up out of the water like dolphins. We crashed back into the pool and he rolled me around until we were face to face, my arms around his neck, his hands on my ass, both of us treading water just enough to stay afloat. He licked a drop of water off my nose, then closed his mouth over mine and almost drowned us both as we stopped kicking to concentrate on the kiss.

He paddled us to the steps where he rolled onto his back, and pulled me on top of him, belly to belly, holding my head with both hands so he could look me in the face. I flattened my hands against his chest, feeling his nipples harden into my palms, and stared back into those beautiful blue eyes. Finally he spoke in a low voice. "I wanna be with you, Dean."

I smiled at him gently. "Sky, I asked you over here to get to know you better, not to jump you on the first date."

"I know. I want to." When I didn't reply immediately, a shadow crossed his face, and he began to shift out from under me. "Forget it. Sorry."

I gripped his shoulders, holding him to me. "No, I want to. Jesus, you have no idea how much. I just don't want you to think I expect it."

"I don't think that." He nuzzled his face into my neck. "Please."

We climbed out of the pool, and I led Sky to the little cabana hidden under the waterfall. It's a special place, sort of a hideaway, and only Sam has ever shared it with me. We toweled each other dry which led to some of the most arousing foreplay I've ever experienced. We went slowly, both of us feeling whatever it was that had stopped him in his tracks and struck me mute the day we'd met. We kissed for a long time, standing by the side of the big bed, running our hands over each others bodies, learning the curves and valleys, memorizing the quick intakes of breath that signaled a sensitive spot. He had good hands, as I've said before, and he knew how to use their strength firmly but gently.

By the time he pushed me down onto the bed, neither of us was steady on our feet. He lowered himself onto me, letting most of his weight press me into the mattress from chest to thigh, and supported himself on his elbows so he could look me in the face. "Before we do this, I need you to know that I've only been with a few guys." He looked a little defiant at this admission, but swallowed and continued on. "I mean, I know what to do but..." He buried his face in the curve of my neck, and mumbled something else. Gone was the flirty man from the bathroom, rubbing his chest, and pissing like a stallion. I was holding a shy, embarrassed kid, and the change startled me.

I rubbed his back a moment, then tugged on his hair a little, trying to get him to lift his head. "Sky. It's okay. Talk to me. What else did you say?"

He raised his head and stared at me, his blue eyes dark, then said bleakly, "I said I've never fucked." I stared at him blankly for a moment, speechless yet again. It was becoming a bad habit.

"Never fucked or never been fucked?" I finally asked.

"Both. Neither. I've never done it." His eyes stayed on mine this time and some of the tension left his body as my smile widened.

"You made it to 27 without some stud talking you into it?" I grinned at him and squeezed his butt.

He snorted. "It just never felt right, you know? I didn't feel like I knew enough to fuck somebody and I didn't trust anyone I was with to fuck me, so . . . here I am, virgin territory, at your service." At his words my cock lurched hard between us and he glanced away again, but came right back to me when I spoke.

"Did you think that would put me off somehow?"

"I don't know. Maybe." He blew out a long breath. "Yeah, I guess I thought maybe you wouldn't want to bother with someone who didn't do everything."

I smiled at him. "It's not a requirement, you know. They won't revoke your queer card if you don't fuck." He thought about that for a minute. "Do you think you'd rather be on the receiving end or . . . ? Most guys end up liking one more than the other, although some guys are versatile and love both, like me." I circled the flat of my hand down his back.

"Top probably, but I gotta try both, don't you think? I mean, how the hell will I know, otherwise?"

"Well, some guys can't stand the thought of anything in their ass." As I said this I casually slid a finger down the crack of his ass and he tipped his hips and spread his legs a little, responding to the pressure of my hand. "Doesn't look like that'll be a problem for you," I chuckled as Sky pushed up into my hand. I played with him for a while, and soon he was breathing heavy and his erection was rock hard next to mine, pressing into my belly.

"Ohhh, Dean, that feels good," he groaned when I paused. "I'm ready. I've just been waiting for the right guy to come along."

"Well, we may get there but right now I want to do something with this." I nudged his cock with my own, then rolled him onto his back and slid down his body until I was kneeling between his legs. His penis throbbed slightly with each beat of his heart and he watched me with a little smile which disappeared abruptly when I wrapped my hand firmly around him.

"Ohhh, God," he moaned, pushing up into my fist. I popped the top on a little bottle of lube from the bedside table and dribbled some onto the tip of his cock from about two feet up. He closed his eyes and flopped back, then jammed a pillow behind his head and watched as I rubbed it around with a finger tip, trailing down the underside of his prick until I reached his balls. Before long he was slippery as an eel and panting as I stroked him long and slow, rolling his balls in my other hand, rubbing the soft wrinkled skin gently between my fingers.

"Slide your feet up," I told him, pulling on one knee to give him the idea. I increased the tempo of my strokes slightly and slid my other hand down below his balls, pressing firmly with the heel of my hand and probing with my fingers. When I located my target, I gently pushed a finger about halfway into him. He groaned, arched his head back and instinctively grabbed his knees, lifting his feet from the bed. I eased further into him and felt for his prostate. I started a slow in and out, rotating my hand to brush over it on every in stroke. He clenched his teeth and grunted softly each time I touched it, tipping his pelvis down to increase the pressure.

"Fuck, I'm close," he muttered through bared teeth. His balls were tight to the base of his cock and he was pumping into my hand. I began to stroke my finger more quickly as I tugged his cock and he came a few seconds later, bucking as he emptied himself onto his chest and belly, strangled moans welling from his throat. I held his prick firmly, letting him move into my hand until he was finished. Then I stroked myself, using the string of precum hanging from the tip of my dick for lube and came in a few minutes, my release joining his in the valleys of his 6-pack. I wiped the worst of it up with a towel, then crawled onto him, letting my weight down slowly but he grabbed me hard, trembling a little.

"God, I knew it would be better with someone I cared about." He froze when he realized what he'd said and I felt him cringe a little at the honesty of the words.

I hugged him tight and whispered into his neck, "Good. It's supposed to be better when you care about each other. Come shower with me." We played till the hot water ran out, making goofy hairdos with the shampoo until we were both giggling like kids. He was a great combination of silly, sexy, intelligent, and hot, and I was falling for him more every minute.

When we came back to the bed, he pulled me down next to him and looked at me soberly. "Please fuck me, Dean. I trust you and I want it to be you." I could hardly resist a request like that, not with those blue eyes staring trustingly into mine. I rolled onto him, kissing him slowly, holding his head in my hands as we explored each other's mouths. Sky was a truly excellent kisser, his lips firm and warm, the skin very soft; his tongue probing gently but insistently into the most sensitive areas of my mouth. I almost forgot my original agenda as he sucked on my tongue. I could feel each pull on my cock and I could have come like that with no problem. But I wanted to explore all of him so I finally eased away from his mouth, licking and nibbling my way behind his ear, down his neck, along the top line of his shoulder and into the curve of his armpit. I nudged his arm up a little and breathed in the scent of him. He was fresh out of the shower, but his own unique aroma came through loud and clear, ramping my level of arousal up another notch. I ran my hand over the bicep that bulged up, feeling the baby-soft skin under his arm. God, Sky was just one sensory treat after another. The sight, smell, taste, and feel of him had me hotter than I'd been in ages.

I slid my mouth down to his nipple, already tight and hard. Sky gasped when I dragged my tongue across, then shuddered out a breath as I closed my mouth over it and sucked gently, tugging on it now and then. His chest was heaving as he panted and I hadn't even gotten to the good parts yet. I stopped at his belly button for a moment, tickling my tongue into the little depression, then following the trail of golden hair to the tip of his cock. His belly was matted and slippery with precum, and even as I watched, another big drop oozed from his slit and slid down the head of his cock, hanging from the rim for a moment, then falling in a shimmery strand to the tense muscles of his stomach. I touched my tongue to the tip of his penis, making slow circles, then lowered my mouth onto him. He groaned deeply and pushed up into my throat.

Finally I pulled him up by the hand and dripped a puddle of lube into his palm. "Get me ready," I said softly to him. The calluses at the base of his fingers added a slightly rougher texture as he gripped me, spreading lube and making me hard as marble. His other hand squeezed my balls gently until I had to stop him. Afraid he'd done something I disliked, he glanced up when I put my hand on his but I reassured him with a smile.

"It feels too nice. I'm gonna need a lot of control to make it good for you." He smiled at that and lay back down. I lubed my hand and his ass, then slid my finger into him again. Sky was ready for me this time and just sucked in a breath when I penetrated him. In a few minutes he took my second finger with only a little "mmm" and when he was moaning with each movement of my hand, I stroked myself till I was real hard, pushed his knees back farther and pressed the tip of my dick to him, rubbing a little to let him feel me. He had his eyes closed but nodded for me to go ahead.

"Keep breathing and push a little," I told him as I pressed firmly against him. Nothing happened for a moment, then I felt him push back and I popped in. Sky gave a little cry at the unfamiliar sensation but went back to deep breaths almost immediately. I held still until I felt him relax and even then didn't move again until he made a questioning sound. I reached for his hands, turning them palms up, wrapping my fingers around his wrists as he did the same to me. Using my grip on his arms to hold him in place, I started a real slow push that took me fully into him over half a minute or so. The knowledge that I was the first man to do this to him had me really wound up and I had to concentrate like crazy to go slowly. He was vibrating by the time I bottomed out, and I went still again, rubbing my thumbs over the soft skin of his inner wrists.

"Dean?" His voice trembled and I could hear his ragged breathing over the sound of the waterfall.

"Yeah. You okay?" He didn't reply, just lay there, eyes tight shut, shaking, and he was starting to scare me a little. I had been as gentle as I knew how and I was about to withdraw when he finally spoke.

"God, it's incredible Dean. I can feel your heart beat inside me." He opened his eyes and looked at me. The blue was dark with arousal and I felt a sudden rush of emotion for him, unexpected but welcome.

"Are you okay?" I asked him again, needing to hear it before I could bring myself to move.

"Yeah. What do I feel like to you?"

"Tight." He snorted. "Warm and smooth. You feel really good." I released his wrists and took a grip around the front of his thighs. "I'm gonna move a little. Tell me if it hurts."

"'Kay." He was smiling at me as I pulled out a few inches but when I sank back in, his face contorted and his hands twisted in the sheet. I closed my eyes and tuned into him. He made a little 'unh' noise each time my hips met his ass, and I could also hear the slick sounds of my cock sliding in and out of the tight ring of his opening. His hands gripped my wrists, his fingers flexing and releasing with each stroke. The muscles of his thighs were hard in my hands and the scent of us, our arousal, our sweat, filled my head with every breath I took. I gave Sky as long a ride as I could but the whole thing was just too fucking good and I felt myself losing the battle for control. Once I began stroking his cock, it was only a minute or two until he shuddered and began thrusting hard into my hand. I pulled out of him, grabbed us both in the same fist and stroked us to a pounding orgasm. When we finally twitched to a stop, we were covered in goo but I was too tired to care. I collapsed next to him, both of us completely exhausted by the intensity of the experience.

I'd only been first for one other person, Adam, 15 years ago, when I knew nothing, and I'd been surprised and a little nervous when Sky confided his virginity to me. Taking it is a big deal for both of us, and I was pleased that it had been good for him. We dozed off and when I next looked at the clock it was 2:17am. A few candles were still burning and when I rolled my head to Sky, I could see he was on his side watching me. I smiled at him. "Hey. Can't sleep?"

"Thank you." His voice was very soft but the waterfall had shut off at 2 so I could hear him easily. He didn't return my smile, just studied my face with careful eyes.

"My pleasure." I took his left hand in mine and pressed its palm to my chest. He continued to watch me soberly. "What are you thinking?"

His eyes flickered away for a second, then came back and locked on mine. He sighed deeply. "I don't want to tell you. I don't want to scare you away."

"I can pretty much promise you that won't happen." I pressed a kiss to his palm, put it back on my chest and rubbed it slowly from side to side. "Please tell me."

He rolled onto his back with a sigh and stared at the ceiling. "I knew I was gay in high school but that's not something you announce in rural Montana, not if you want to stay alive. So I went to Chicago after high school. It was easier there but the guys I met just wanted sex and it seemed so . . . empty." I squeezed his hand and he took a deep breath.

"All the guys my age were just trying to see how many people they could screw. I didn't meet hardly any couples who'd been together for more than a few months. It was depressing and I thought if this is being gay, I don't want any part of it. Then I went to farrier school and the guys in Missouri were more normal. I started to think maybe it was possible to find someone I could love and who might love me back."

"I moved out here when Tay needed another shoer. He was pretty nervous about sending me to Castlewood that first time. I guess he thought you'd kick me off the place if I didn't do right by your horses." He glanced at me. "But I did okay, huh?"

"Yeah, you were good. When Cher didn't kick your teeth in, I knew you'd be alright."

"You said she was quiet!"

"She is quiet. She just hates shoers. But I could tell she liked you or I would have warned you."

Sky chuckled, then sobered up again. "When I first saw you . . . " His voice trailed off and he swallowed hard. "God, I feel like a teenager with his first crush. Please don't hate me." He swallowed again and before I could speak, he rushed it out. "When I saw you, my stomach went nuts. It was like all those stupid romance books my sister used to read out loud to torture me when she babysat. I couldn't hear anything except my heart pounding in my head and I thought my knees were gonna fold. I thought I was having a stroke or something." He stopped and tried to pull his hand from mine in embarrassment but I pulled harder and rolled him back to me. His eyes were squeezed shut and his chin was tucked down into his chest.

"Sky." I cupped his face with my free hand. He just lay there so I shook him. "Damnit, I need you to look at me when I tell you that I felt something, too." His eyes shot open at that and I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten.

"I thought you were just angry it wasn't Tay."

I snorted. "No, I was struck dumb by the sight of your gorgeous self getting out of the truck." I put some humor in it and tickled him. He giggled and I made him squirm around until I had him near me, then I let my voice go serious again. "I felt something, too." I said it low and soft right next to his ear, then kissed his neck.

He let out a ragged breath and curled into me. "I was scared to tell you but after you made love to me, I had to."

I turned my back to him, scooting close until he was wrapped around me. "Sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

Maria woke us at 6 with a tap on the door. "Breakfast is by the pool."

"Thanks," I mumbled, stretching, feeling Sky start to stir behind me. I rolled over and watched him wake up. He was on his back and when his eyes opened to an unfamiliar ceiling, I felt him tense and he tried to turn away from me. I grabbed his chin.

"Don't go getting all shy on me now. We have to talk. Come on." I dragged him out of bed and into the bathroom. He started pissing while I turned on the shower, then I joined him at the toilet, playfully angling my stream into his. He shot me a weird look and I figured this must be another first for him. Laughing, I shoved him into the shower and soaped him from head to toe, playing with his ass. "How do you feel?"

He thought about it for a second, then shrugged. "Fine. It never really hurt, just sort of surprised me, I think. And it was kind of overwhelming emotionally, knowing that it was finally happening." He gave me that somber look I was beginning to recognize. "It was amazing, Dean. I'm glad it was you."

He leaned in to kiss me and one thing led to another, actually two others, as we managed near-simultaneous orgasms there in the steamy shower. By the time we got to breakfast, I figured it would be stone cold but marvelous Maria had put the hot dishes over those clever little warming candles and it was wonderful. Obviously something of my excitement yesterday on the phone had gotten through to her because we dined on Southwestern omelets, home fries, bacon, made-from-scratch blueberry muffins and fresh squeezed OJ. Our clothes were hung neatly over the backs of a couple chairs and fresh towels were piled by the Jacuzzi.

"Jesus Christ!" Sky exclaimed when I took the lids off the serving dishes. "Do you always eat like this? And did you win the fucking lotto or something?" he continued, vaguely waving a hand around to indicate the estate. "I meant to ask you last night but I, uh, got side tracked."

I smirked at him and heaped food onto my plate. "No, I didn't win the lotto. I was smart enough to find a good investment counselor when I was winning big and he made me rich. Plus, I stole this place." I explained my Starbucks theory and he grinned. He gazed around while I talked, watching Xia grazing in the pasture below us, taking in the lush beauty of the jungle pool in the pink light of dawn. I did mention I love living here, right?

As he began to eat, I knew I had to get us talking. "I meant what I said last night. I wasn't just blowing smoke up your ass." His eyes shot up to mine for a moment, then back to his plate and he gave a small nod. "I like you. We feel good in bed and I want us to spend some time together and see what happens." I stopped and watched him while he swallowed and lifted his face to me.

"Me, too." He said it with conviction. "Sex was never that good so I pretty much quit going out. I just took care of myself. I give great hand jobs." He rolled his eyes and shook his head at himself.

I grinned at him. "Yeah, I know."

He went back to his eggs and soon we were up at the house, meeting Maria and getting out the door to his car, a blue Explorer that had seen better days. I kissed him and told him I'd call him later to firm up something for the next day or two. As he drove off, I went back thru the house, jogged to the barn and saddled Xia in record time, assuring her that she'd get breakfast at the stable.

I phoned Sam on the way and caught him supervising preparations for a banquet. "Hey Gorgeous. Can you come over tonight? I need to talk to you."

"Sure." There was a pause. Then, "I need to talk to you, too."

"Yeah? Okay. See you then." I snapped the phone shut and looked at it for a moment before shoving it back in my pocket, wondering what was up with him. Sleepless that night a couple weeks ago, needing to talk to me now. Sam had never been an open book and I wondered if I was about to find out more than I wanted to know.

I spent a good part of the day thinking about what I wanted to say to him. He was very important to me and I knew that he cared for me, too, though we had never discussed it much. He was a constant in my life, someone I talked to almost daily, had sex with several times a week. Someone whose cooking I loved and whose cock I knew as well as my own. My best friend. I couldn't imagine life without him.

But I needed to spend some time with Sky, just the two of us. If things worked out well, he'd meet my friends, the men I slept with regularly. It was way too soon to be thinking about it but I did anyway. What if Sky turned out to be 'it'? The man I'd been waiting for all my life? Someone I could share a future with? Could I give up sleeping with Sam? And Cas, Adam, Zane and Chris? Not to mention the occasional vet student. Would Sky even expect me to? I knew several couples who played only as couples. Zane and Chris being one. They enjoyed a little variety, but only together. Since I had introduced them, they considered me safe from temptation and we got together a few times a month.

Those were fun evenings. No 'date' pressure, just satisfying sex with good friends. Usually we'd watch a porn flick for the first round, marveling at the huge cocks some of those guys had. None of us had ever met a true 11x6 dick and weren't sure what we'd do with it if we did. You can't cram the whole thing in your mouth and the thought of it inside me was more than a little scary. But it was hot to watch and produced some powerful orgasms for the three of us. We masturbated when we watched a movie, piled on the couch together, towels at the ready, kissing and playing with each others balls. Watching another guy jerk his own cock, all the little things he does different than you, the expressions on his face, the sounds he makes. It really winds me up and I forget all about the movie and get off watching Zane and Chris instead.

As I pondered all these heavy thoughts, my cell phone rang. I flipped it open without looking at the display and heard heavy breathing, panting and moaning, then "Oh, fuck, yeah baby, work it for me, oh God!"

I was so astounded that I held the phone out in front of me and checked the display. Sky. By the time I got it back to my ear, he was laughing his ass off and my cock was half hard. "You're lucky as hell you dialed right. This could be your mother," I told him, which set him off laughing again.

"Your name came up on the display when the call connected. Jesus, do you think I'd do that if I wasn't sure it was you?"

"You're crazy, Cowboy. Where the hell are you?"

"Out in Abby's back forty, checking her two year olds' legs. There's no one around for miles." Abigail Pennington owned a couple hundred acres at the east edge of the county and she raised all sorts of performance horses, the top 4 or 5 of which trained at Castlewood. I'd be riding one of them later this afternoon. Abby's husband Glen financed her equine adventures with good humor and lots of cold, hard cash.

"I'm glad you called. I need to see a friend tonight so are you free tomorrow night?"

"Yeah." I could hear disappointment in the single word but at this point, I needed to talk to Sam more than I needed to make Sky feel good.

"Great. See you then. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me, too. Bye."

I stood there for a moment, staring into space and thinking about Sky. Fuck. The more I thought about never sleeping with Sam again, the more sure I was that I couldn't (wouldn't?) do that. I loved him. I loved him too much to never taste his mouth again or feel the hot slide of his cock into me. But what if Sky couldn't (wouldn't?) accept that? And why was I agonizing over this anyway? I'd slept with him exactly once. Okay, three orgasms worth but you know what I mean. I shook my head, re-arranged my stiff cock and went back to work.

When Sam strolled into the den a few hours later, hair tied back in a black leather string (quiet mode), I hugged him to me and just stood there with my face pressed to his. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me a little, like you would a kid. Finally he eased away, cupped my chin and kissed me softly, then pulled back to look me in the eyes. "Dean, what's wrong?"

When I didn't reply immediately, he led me to the couch, sank back against one of the arms and pulled me down between his legs, my back to his chest, and held me close to him. I lay my head back on his shoulder as his warm hand slipped under my shirt, rubbing slowly up and down my stomach. My cock stirred a little at his touch, welcoming an old friend. How many times had we sat like this, talking over our day, content in each other's company? I stayed quiet for a bit, enjoying the feel of his hand. He didn't push me, just waited patiently until I spoke.

"I've met someone."

His hand hesitated for a fraction of a second, and he took a deeper breath before he spoke. "'The someone?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I barely know him." I picked up his free hand in mine and studied it, running my fingertip along the lines in his palm, tracing the veins on the back of his hand. He kept his nails short and manicured since his hands were always on display at the restaurants. "Do you love me?"

Against my back I felt his heart rate increase to match my own, and knew that we were going down a road neither of us could turn around on. "Yes. I love you, Dean. Did you doubt it?"

"No. But we never say it and . . . I needed to hear it."

There was a long silence, and then Sam spoke. "Are you ending our relationship?"

His voice was not quite steady, and the blunt rawness of his words had me turning to him in surprise. His face was expressionless, but his eyes gave him away. Dark and liquid, they searched mine carefully, and he looked more vulnerable than I'd ever seen him.

"No! No. God. I knew before you came over tonight that I couldn't do that." I settled back down against him, stroking my hand along his bare arm, ruffling the dark hair, and we were quiet for a bit. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked him.

He sighed, and said softly but very clearly, "I am in love with you, Dean." He stopped me when I tried to twist toward him. "I have been for years."

I struggled in his arms. "Let me go!" He loosened his hold on me, and I turned quickly to kneel between his legs, gripping his wrists, staring at him. "You're in love with me?"

He nodded, looking at me gravely. "Remember the day Chloe's horse kicked you and I stayed here a few days taking care of you?" He glanced away, looking into the cold fireplace. "I imagined doing that forever." He turned back to me. "But you got better and made it clear that you didn't need me any more."

There was a bitter note in his voice that tore at me. "No! I was afraid if I needed you too much, you'd pull away, and I didn't want to lose you. God, why didn't you tell me?"

"I almost did, but I was afraid, too. You had Adam and whoever else back then, and I didn't feel I could ask you to choose, so I became your friend. Your lover. After a while, it was almost enough."

"And now? Is that what you want, Sam? Do you want it to be just you and me?"

"No, not any more. I did, at first, but I like Adam, Cas and the other guys, and I enjoy fooling around with them. Eventually I realized that what I really wanted was for you to need me. For us to need each other. I want what everyone wants, Dean. The security of knowing you'll be there for me at the end of every single day. To make plans together that go farther out than just a couple days. To make some sort of life together."

I crawled up onto his chest and began to kiss him, but he pushed me gently back. "What about you, Dean? What do you want?"

I shook my head and shrugged a little. "I don't know any more. When we first met, I fell in love with you, but I knew there was someone else. You didn't talk to me about him, so I didn't know what to think. I thought it must be pretty serious, and I was just glad when you had time for me." He closed his eyes for a moment, but didn't speak. "Is this why you've been a little off the past couple weeks?"

He nodded. "It was getting too hard to be just your fuck buddy. I need more, Dean. I love you, and I want more."

"Is that what you think you are to me? My 'fuck buddy'? Jesus, Sam!"

"What then? What am I to you?"

"My best friend. I don't want to lose you. But I like Sky. I want to get to know him better."

He didn't speak for quite a while and when he did, it was in a voice I'd never heard from him, cool and remote, and it made my skin crawl. "I understand. But I can't hang around while you see him. Now that you know how I feel, I can't . . . I can't be with you. Not until you figure it out, one way or the other." He took my face in his hands and kissed me very softly, then pushed me away again, less gently this time, rose from the couch and walked out of the room. The thud of the front door closing behind him was loud in the quiet house, and I jerked at the sound.

I was miserable the next day. I kept replaying our conversation in my head, but it always ended with the finality of the front door clicking shut. Even the thought of seeing Sky tonight wasn't much help. I didn't get home till 6:30 and was just getting out of the shower when I heard the security ding of Sky's car coming up the drive. I yanked on jeans and jogged down the stairs to let him in. He was dressed casually and as usual, his golden good looks took my breath away for a minute. I kissed him briefly and led him into the den where Maria had left us a cold supper. After I poured two glasses of wine, I turned to him on the couch, bringing my knee up to rest against his leg.

"Sky. We don't know each other well at all, and I haven't had a chance to tell you about my friends, my life away from the barn. I fuck around with several guys on a regular basis. One of them, Sam, has been a good friend for years." He looked away from me and I saw his face harden, knowing what was coming. "When I told him that I met you, we started talking about our relationship, something we hadn't done before."

He held up a hand and rose from the couch, shaking his head as he walked across the room. "I don't need to hear the rest. You love him, don't you? I can hear it in your voice."

"Yes, I love him. But it's not that simple. I'm attracted to you, and I want to spend some time with you, but not in bed. That's too easy." I got up and went to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind. He stiffened but didn't pull away. "I'm not sorry I slept with you, but I'm not going to do it again until I get a few things figured out." I took him back to the couch, pulling him close against me as we sank down. "Sky, you need to meet my buddies. They'll like you as much as I do, and it'll be good for you."

We sat there for a couple hours, kissing a little, talking a lot. He had never lived completely out, as a gay man comfortable with himself and his life, and he asked me all sorts of questions about my friends and family, how I handled discrimination (badly and legally, if I had to) and things like whether I was affectionate with other men in public (yes, but not blatantly). Answering him in depth made me think about myself, about how I lived, what I cared about and believed in. By the time he left, he was willing to meet Cas and Adam, so I called Adam and we set it up for the following Friday night at his place.

Sky hugged me for a long time at the door. "Thanks for being honest with me."

After he left, I sat in the dark den for another hour, thinking about Sam and Sky. They were so different, yet I was very attracted to both of them. Sam was quiet, deep, and I knew that there were parts of himself he'd probably never share with me. We had a lot of history together, years spent in each other's company, so that I knew which brand of toothpaste he preferred, his mother's birthday, his love of old books. He was a steady presence in my life, and I was comfortable with that. Maybe a little too comfortable.

Sky, on the other hand, was like a golden sparkler on a dark July night, all chills up my spine and those hot, hot kisses. He was new and exciting, and I wanted him badly. I gave up and went to bed, but slept poorly, visions of Sam's warm smile pushed aside by Sky's blue eyes.

Friday arrived and I drove to Adam's. We had decided that stroking off to a porn flick was a good ice breaker for Sky. Lots of sex in the air, but not with each other in case he was feeling bashful with two new guys and a group setting. He was such a kid in some ways that I didn't feel dragging him into bed with two other guys was the way to go, at least at first. Cas was there when I arrived and greeted me with a hug and a slow kiss that I must not have returned with enough enthusiasm. He pulled back to look at me, concern in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

I sighed and tried to cheer up. "Nothing. Sam and I are not talking at the moment."

His eyebrows shot up. "Not talking? Is he being a jerk?"

"No, no. It's personal."

I smiled at him and turned away when the doorbell announced Sky's arrival. Both Adam and Cas hugged him and, although he looked a little surprised, he returned the hugs warmly. We settled around the TV with beers and munchies, and Adam hit the 'play' button on Matt Steele and Luke Long. Mmmmm. It wasn't long before Adam had his dick out, with Cas and I close behind. Sky glanced at us, then took a second look at Adam's overhand technique and reflexively put a hand on his crotch.

I reached over and groped him a little. "Come on, golden boy, get with the program."

He laughed, shaking his head while he opened his pants and lifted his big cock free. It was stiff but not fully hard yet, and it got Adam's and Cas's immediate attention. He started stroking it loosely, and we all stared while it swelled, growing longer and fatter until Adam was practically licking his lips. Eventually Matt and Luke re-captured our interest and the movie finished us off in predictable fashion.

Adam welcomed Sky to the gang by standing between his knees and blasting cum all over his stomach, thoughtfully yanking Sky's t-shirt up first. I thought Sky's eyes were going to pop out of his head, but he obviously got into it cause he almost had a coronary when he came, convulsing and groaning, shooting hot shots clear up to his chin. I left them undressing and heading for the shower. Sky gave me a pleading look, but I assured him it was cool, and the last I saw of him, Adam's hand was on his ass as they walked down the hall. I drove slowly home.

I spent the next week just getting through the days. I went to work early and caught up on all the little shit that always gets put off till later. I sorted tack, straightened up my desk, cleaned out the big horse trailer that we used constantly and which was always a mess, rode horses till my shoulder throbbed. I spent the evenings alone, floating around the pool until the stars came out, then trudging up to the house for something to eat. After I showered, I usually sat in the den for a while thinking about all sorts of things. When I bought this house and started working at Castlewood I was young, only 23, and still hurting emotionally over the loss of my Gran Prix career. All I thought about then was when I was going to get laid next, and who was driving to the bar that night. I wasn't a total fuck up, but I was young, single, and cruisin'.

Now I was thirty, no longer a kid, and the things that mattered to me were very different. My friends, my family, my job running the stable and preparing the equine stars of tomorrow. I cared deeply about them all. I didn't have any one light bulb moment that week, but I did begin to understand more about the things that were really important to me, what I wanted the rest of my life to be like. I was exhausted, but I still couldn't sleep more than a few hours at a time. I usually just stayed on the couch in the den, curled up in the last place Sam had held me. I masturbated myself to sleep most nights, imagining it was his hand on my cock.

That Wednesday I ran into Zane at the barn. He took one look at my face and dragged me into the tack room, shutting the door firmly behind him. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" he demanded.

I shook my head, trying to smile at him. "No, I'm okay." But he wasn't buying it, and I finally told him the bare bones of what was going on. His eyes played over my face as I spoke and when I finished, he took me in his arms, but didn't speak. After a while he let me go, and we went back to work. I didn't see him any more that day, but Chris called later that afternoon and asked me to come over.

"Not tonight, Chris. I'm just not in the mood, sorry."

"Neither are we," he replied. "We want to talk to you."

He wouldn't take no for an answer, so I finally agreed to come over for dinner, figuring I could get home early enough to wallow in the den some more. Chris greeted me with a long hug which felt great. He's a big guy, and you know you've been hugged when he gets done with you. He pulled back a little, put his hand to my cheek and looked me over. "You look like shit, Dean," he announced.

"I love you, too," I chuckled, and then blew out a breath. "Yeah, I know. This has got me pretty fucked up."

We ate grilled chicken and salad, and then settled into their big over sized sofa, me in the middle, our legs in a tangle. I hadn't been with anyone in almost two weeks, and the physical contact with two close friends, men who cared about me, was almost overwhelming. They could tell I was close to the edge and didn't say anything for a while, just sat there with me. Zane leaned into my shoulder with his face in my neck. His breath was warm on my skin, and I tipped my head to rub my cheek against his hair. Chris watched us, a small smile curling the corners of his mouth as he rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Do you love Sam?" he finally asked me.

"Of course."

"But you have the hots for Sky." It was a statement, not a question. I nodded. "Have you slept with him?" I nodded again. "And?"

I shrugged. "It was good. Actually, it was great. He's a good guy."

"But?" His voice held a challenge.

I looked at him. He looked back hard, willing me to think it through. It wasn't very difficult. "But he's not Sam."

"Bingo." He lay back and swung his legs across my lap, bending one knee to rest it against my chest. I hugged it to me, running my hand from knee to groin. Each time my hand reached the crease of his big thigh, he pushed up into me a little. "You've known Sam, what? Eight, ten years? You guys get along better than anybody I know. We've always wondered what was keeping you from getting together."

I'd never told them about the marks on Sam's wrists. When I did now, they both fell silent for a moment, then Chris said, "How long since you saw them last?"

How long? Years. It had been years since he'd come to me with the marks of another man on his body. I shook my head, ashamed that I hadn't realized sooner. All that time he'd been loving me.

"Dean." When I looked up at him, he reached out and ran his knuckles along my jaw. "What I have with Zane is the best thing that ever happened to me. I enjoyed my life before you introduced us, but the last four years are what I was waiting for." He smiled at Zane, who was rubbing Chris's bare foot and watching him intently. "Sam is offering you that. Make damn sure before you say 'no thanks'."

"We had us a bit of the same problem. Chris was so settled and responsible. Mr. Wahhhl Street. Ah grew up in a pickup truck and shore as hell didn't think Ah was ready to take on a mortgage and a partner. Luckily Chris kept after me. God knows where Ah'd be if he hadn't." He had to stop while Chris sat up and crawled across my lap to kiss him. "All Ah'm saying is, you and Sam already love each other. Is it worth risking that for a kid you jist met?"

I must have looked wiped out because they pulled me off the couch, stripped me in the bedroom, and sandwiched me in between them in their big sleigh bed. As Chris draped his arm across me to hold Zane's shoulder, he kissed the back of my neck, and whispered, "Go with your heart, Dean." As I drifted off to sleep, I thought that sounded like good advice.

I drove slowly to work the next morning. It had been two weeks since Sam had walked out my front door, and it felt like two years. There was an ache in my chest that had only gotten worse. I thought about Sky, about where he was in his life right now, and knew I was past that. I, too, wanted more. I dialed Sam's number as I parked next to the office. He answered on the second ring, and the sound of his voice tightened my chest. "Hi, it's me."

"Hey . . . you okay?"

"No," I said, my voice shaky. "No, I'm not okay. I need to see you. Tonight."

The silence was so long that I closed my eyes. When he finally spoke his voice wasn't steady either. "I'll be there at seven."

The phone went dead in my ear. I went through the day on auto pilot, not a smart idea around horses, finally waking up when Abby's big draft cross gelding mashed my foot into the dirt. I gimped around the rest of the day, thinking of all the things I wanted to tell Sam, hoping it wasn't too late.

I was limping down the steps when the front door swung open and Sam stepped in. I stopped when he saw me and our eyes locked as he pushed the door shut behind him and leaned back against it. His hair was tied back, and he was wearing a white t-shirt and faded jeans. He looked beautiful to me, standing there in the dim light of the entryway, black eyes watching me from his dark, somber face. I could see every day of the past two weeks in the shadows under his eyes and the lines around his mouth, and I could tell by the way he looked at me that he could see the same.

"There's something I need to know."

Sam nodded as if he knew what I was going to ask him. "The rope marks?" he said. I nodded. "I haven't seen him in five years. After I met you, I knew I had to get away from him. It just took me a while."

I went down the last couple steps, and crossed the hall to him, reaching up a hand to run the tips of my fingers down his cheek. His jaw clenched as he tipped his face into my hand, and his eyes never left mine. The feel of him was achingly familiar. His hands, his mouth, his cock had taken me past the point of reason too many times to count. Those amazing eyes had watched me through the orgasms, tears, laughter, and despair of the last eight years. And through it all they had watched me with love and acceptance. I knew what I wanted.

"Sam, I love you. I need you. I want us to make a life together." I gave his words back to him, putting my heart into it. "If you'll have me."

My voice cracked at the end, and with a harsh groan of longing, he reached for me. He fisted one hand in my hair, and the other in the back of my shirt, crushing me against his chest. His arms were trembling, his breath was quick and shallow, and I realized he was struggling not to cry. After two weeks without him, I tried to absorb him into me his smell, the heat of his skin, the hard muscles of his back knotted tight with holding me. Without another word, he turned us around, crossed the hall, and took us up the stairs to my room.

He stopped by the bed to kiss me. His lips barely touched mine, a kiss of tenderness, of apology. As we undressed each other, I suddenly felt shy with him, as though it was our first time. He felt it too, because he paused with his hand on my zipper, blew out a breath, and muttered, "Fuck, I don't believe this. I'm nervous."

But that didn't stop us, and when we were finally naked, Sam wrapped an arm around my chest from the side and dragged me down to the bed, climbing onto me as we landed. The dark swing of his hair brushed my face as he reached back and pulled the string loose. He'd never done that before, and when I looked up at him, he was smiling. He made love to me like we've done hundreds of times, but it was different somehow. Maybe everyone who falls in love for the first time _really_ in love feels like this, but it was new for us.

We kissed for a long time, nuzzling, smiling into each other's eyes, and when he left my mouth, he went straight to my cock, taking me deep in his throat and humming. But I sat up, pulled him off me, and pushed a bottle of lube into his hand. "I need you in me _now_."

I stroked him until he was hard and slick, then lay back and lifted my knees. I was so wound up emotionally that I began to cry as soon as he entered me, and by the time he was buried in me, I was sobbing quietly. He ignored my tears and began to stroke slowly, using his entire cock, so that it seemed like one endless motion, and it calmed me, as he knew it would.

He watched me the whole time, running his hands over me, shifting his position slightly now and then to give me the most pleasure. Sam has incredible finesse, and he used every bit of it on me, touching me constantly, kissing me deeply. Even as his body convulsed in a powerful orgasm, he kept his eyes on mine, and I watched the anguish of intense pleasure contort his face as he climaxed.

When he was finished, he spread his knees a little more and angled himself to hit my prostate with each thrust, my erection firmly in his hand. It didn't take long, and when I had shuddered myself empty, I began to cry again. Sam withdrew and lay beside me, pulling me over so we were face to face.

"I love you, Dean. And I didn't know how fucking much I needed you until you weren't there," he said quietly, wiping a tear from my face with a gentle finger. "I don't ever want to feel like that again. It was awful."

"I know. Sam, I _am_ in love with you." I searched his face. "Move in here. Come live with me."

"Jesus." He rolled away and lay looking at the ceiling for several moments. When he turned back to me, his face was tight with emotion. "I need you to be sure. _Really_ sure, because I couldn't take it if you changed your mind."

"It's been eight years. I'm sure. _Really_ sure." I shook him a little. "I love you, you love me. Move in. Tomorrow. Well, Saturday."

He stared into my face, his glowing eyes roaming across my features. I don't know what he saw there, but he finally smiled at me, a big, happy grin that lit up his face and put his rarely seen dimples on display. "Okay."

I rolled onto him and covered him in kisses until he was laughing, then touched the tip of my nose to his and whispered, "I love you, Sam" against his mouth.

"I know you do," he whispered back, nuzzling into me. "Me, too."

"I hate to think of all the years we wasted."

He hugged me. "We didn't waste them. We became friends, good friends. It's the best thing that could have happened to us. We _know_ each other, Dean. This is just the next step."

I hated to ask, but I had to know. "Would you ever have called me?"

He lay back again with his eyes closed. "I didn't need to. I knew you'd call. I simply refused to believe that it would work out any other way." He was quiet for a moment, and then turned to me, his expression drawn with the stress of the past two weeks. "I was fucking scared to death. Every day that went by seemed like you were choosing him." He looked away, and I knew it would take us some time to get by this. "Go to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

I slid partially off him, and we drifted into sleep, my arm and leg draped over him, holding him close to me. It was a few minutes after five the next morning when I felt him stretch behind me. "Did you sleep with him?" he murmured.

"Yeah, once. Before you and I talked." I rolled to face him. "He was a virgin. Well, not totally, but he'd never fucked."

"Fucked, or been fucked?"

"Exactly what I asked him. Neither."

"Did you do the honors?"

"Yeah, I fucked him. I wasn't gonna let him near me till he calmed down some. I don't think he has much control yet. He's 27, but he's only been with a few guys."

"What are you gonna do?"

I sighed. "I'll see him tonight and tell him about us. But I wasn't going to sleep with him, no matter what happened with us last night."

He nodded. "Good. I wouldn't ask you not to, but I'm glad." He was quiet for a moment. "We need to talk about this. I'm okay with us playing around, but I want to do it as a couple, and with guys we already know."

"Yeah? Are you sure?"

"Yes. I thought about it a lot while we were apart. You've been my primary partner for the past 6 or 7 years, and I think, maybe, that I've been yours?" He raised an eyebrow at me, and I nodded, smiling. "Us being a couple doesn't suddenly make me feel like I need to keep you all to myself. And I don't feel that our friends are a threat to us."

I thought about that for a minute, and then nodded. "I agree. God, I'm so happy."

He chuckled and kissed me. "Yeah, me too. We're gonna be good together. Shit, we already _are_ good together. So are we okay on Sky?"

"Yeah. He's been screwing around with Cas and Adam. I need some time alone with you. Weeks, maybe." We smiled at each other. "But after you settle in here, you need to meet him. He needs to play around more. Maybe with us, if you're ok with that. You could teach him a lot."

"Let's have him over and see how it goes."

We made love again, still all caught up in the emotional whirlwind of last night. I took the initiative and pushed him onto his back, kneeling between his legs, licking my way down his chest, sucking his nipples gently, nibbling the soft skin of his belly. By the time I reached his cock, he was hard and dripping, and I had to work at delaying his orgasm. As I ran my tongue up to the tip of his penis one time, I noticed him watching my every move, his expression full of love and desire, a potent combination that I'd never seen from him before. When he came, I kept him in my mouth, swallowing as he pumped into me. I don't do that often, but I knew he liked it and I wanted to please him. When he was finished, he pulled me up to him and plunged his tongue into my mouth, tasting himself in me and moaning a little.

He took the lube with him when we exchanged positions, and soon had two fingers in me, moving them gently but steadily as his other hand made twisting strokes on my cock. When I'm tired or distracted, this combination will get my attention, and I didn't last five minutes. He jerked me quickly as I came and I thought my balls were gonna explode. The first load blasted me in the chin, surprising me, since I almost never shoot that far. The second one landed in the middle of my chest, and Sam started to laugh.

"Felt good, huh?" he said, grinning at me. The rest gushed out over his hand in my usual style.

We showered and talked about bringing his stuff over on Saturday. We'd use the horse van, and James's and Ernesto's muscles. I needed to call our friends and tell them about us, but we decided to do that after I'd talked with Sky tonight. We did tell Maria when we went down to breakfast, and she was thrilled for us.

"Finally!" she said, clapping her hands together in delight, then hugging us. "I knew it years ago and prayed that you would see before it was too late."

We all beamed at each other, then I walked Sam to his car. It took us at least 10 minutes to say goodbye hugging, kissing, thinking of one more thing we had to say. We finally tore ourselves apart; he headed off for one of the restaurants, and I rode Xia slowly to Castlewood, thinking about what I'd say to Sky that night. I didn't want to hurt him, but that was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not. I just hoped he'd still want to be friends, and that he would fit into our little group. He needed the emotional support we could provide, and the experience of friendly sex with men who cared for him.

Sky showed up at 6:30, and I got right to the point. "Sam and I have been in love for years, but we each thought the other didn't want a committed relationship. Now that we've had a chance to think about it and talk more, we've decided that we want to be together. Partners." It sounded good to say it out loud. Sky just sat there staring at the floor. "He's moving in here in Saturday. We need some time together to sort things out between us, but we've already decided that we'll continue to play around, we'll just do it as a couple."

Sky turned raised eyebrows to me. "Really? You don't mind sharing him?"

"Well, we're not gonna go out and just grab strangers off the street. I love my friends, and Sam has slept with most of them already. It never hurt our friendship, and it won't affect our partnership. They're 'in addition to,' not 'instead of,' if that makes any sense."

I gave his arm a tug and he relaxed against me. "Yeah, I guess, but it still seems sorta weird."

"It'll seem a lot more normal after you're part of it. You're having a good time with Cas and Adam, right?"

"Yeah . . . " He glanced at me. "You want me to fool around with you and Sam?"

"Maybe. You need to meet him, and we all need to get comfortable with each other. You may hit it off with someone else and not want anything to do with me."

He gave me a disbelieving look. "Yeah, right. I'm still crazy about you." We kissed a little bit, talked some more and he left looking a little downhearted, but willing to give things a try.

The next day was Friday and I worked my ass off tuning up four horses for a show the next day. Sam was in the kitchen when I got home, putting the finishing touches on a big salad. I paused when I came in the back door, watching the muscles move in his arm as he chopped tomatoes, thinking that, starting now, I'd come home to him every night for the rest of my life. That was an amazing realization, and I heaved a happy sigh. His head came up as he realized I was there. He turned slowly, and we looked at each other across the kitchen as great big smiles spread slowly across our faces.

"Hey, Sexy."

He'd never used any terms of endearment with me in the 8 years I'd known him, and the sound of it gave me a physical rush that fluttered low in my stomach and made my knees weak. He came around the island where I met him halfway, grabbing him into a huge hug and lifting his feet off the floor as I burrowed into his neck.

"Christ, put me down.," he grumbled, but he was grinning like an idiot and I knew he was as thrilled to see me as I was to see him. It had been two whole days. He pulled lasagna out of the oven and we ate on the patio, enjoying the breeze and watching the sun go down. We didn't talk much over dinner. We were so comfortable together, holding hands when we were finished eating, leaning over to kiss now and then. When the bugs came out, we wandered down to the hot tub, undressing each other slowly and bobbing around in the hot bubbles, enjoying knowing we'd be going to bed soon. When I started to lift myself out, my shoulder protested all the riding and gave out. I slid back down in the water with a sharp cry that had Sam at my side instantly.

"What's the matter?"

"Aaahhh, shit! My damn shoulder." He pulled me out of the tub by my good arm and dried me off. By the time we got to the house, it felt better, but only if I didn't use it much. He refused to touch me until I promised him I'd make an appointment with a joint guy he knew in the city. Since I'm usually on my back when he fucks me anyway, it didn't slow us down much. He was a little rough with me, and I felt as though he was marking his territory, wanting to leave me sore so I'd know he'd had me.

He braced himself on his arms and pushed up off his knees, using the strength of his legs to drive into me. It worked. I was shaky and sweating by the time he let me come, and I almost passed out. He grabbed my face in a hard hand and forced me look at him as he took me to one of the strongest orgasms I've ever had. It almost hurt, and he watched every gasp and cry with those intense eyes, then kissed me sweetly and held me until I quit trembling.

"What the hell was _that_?" I asked him when I could breathe normally.

"That was living together, we're a couple, I love you so _fucking_ much, partner sex." He planted a noisy smack on my cheek.

"Yeah? Well, you can just bury me now cause I won't live long if you do that to me every time."

He chuckled. "Sorry, Baby. I really missed you." He nuzzled into my neck, chewing on my earlobe. "Did I hurt you?"

"Not permanently," I huffed, as he snorted. "I missed you, too. I love you."

He pulled back to look me in the face, running his hand down my cheek, brushing his thumb across my bottom lip. "I know you do. I'm starting to believe that Wednesday wasn't a dream. We're gonna do this, huh?"

I smiled at him, sucking on his thumb for a moment. "Yeah, we are. Scared?"

"No." He shook his head slowly, watching me. "I've been waiting for this for years. I never quit believing it would happen." He eyes roamed over my face for another long moment, then he lay down and pulled me close.

The next morning we moved Sam's things into the house using the small horse van and James and Ernesto. They were the first to know about us, and I thought James was going to burst into tears. He's known me a long time, 13 years, and he's been with me through all my highs and lows once I started riding nationally. They stayed around to play in the pool while Sam and I began merging our lives, hanging up clothes, unpacking his pots and pans and knives. He said if he was going to be cooking here, he needed decent equipment. He had gadgets I'd never seen before and didn't have any idea what they did. I suppose it would be the same if he walked into the tack room at Castlewood and looked at all the devices we use in modern horse care.

After he went down to the kitchen, I walked into his closet, running my hand down the sleeve of a shirt, burying my nose in it, feeling him becoming part of my home, a more intimate part of my life. I looked around the room, seeing him in it already; a book he was reading lay on the table on his side of the bed, and his good watch and a couple other pieces of jewelry were in a jumble on his dresser. I walked over and picked up a necklace I had given him for Christmas the first year I'd known him, pouring it through my fingers. It was gold and heavy, the links intricate, and he wore it often.

I glanced up to see him watching me from the door. His face was somber, in shadow, his eyes dark, and I couldn't read his expression. I put the chain down and turned to him, wondering what he was thinking. He looked at me for a long, still moment before he spoke.

"I promise…" He stopped and licked his lips, then swallowed, and spoke very deliberately. "I promise that you will never regret loving me."

I don't know what I thought he was going to say, but his words shattered me. I felt my face begin to crumble, and ground my teeth together. He deserved better than tears. I stayed by the dresser, watching him until I could speak. Even then my voice was not quite steady. "And I promise that I will love you as fully as you deserve."

We looked at each other as our words hung in the quiet room. They sounded like vows to me, and it was then that I felt my first real sense of us as a couple, that I was no longer just one man against the world. Vincent had committed himself to me, and I made another vow then, a silent one, that I would never forget how close we had come to losing each other. I would always treat our relationship with the care and importance that something so rare and special deserved. I studied his face carefully, memorizing the moment.

"I'm so glad you're here." He came to me then and we held each other, rocking a little, content in the knowledge of how good this was and how lucky we were.

After we ate lunch by the pool, James and Ernesto took the van back to the barn. Sam and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Nothing to do and all day to do it. We had our clothes off in an instant, and spent the afternoon swimming, reading, and lying in the sun. I was on my back, almost asleep, when I felt the cushion sag under Sam's weight. He lowered himself onto me, laying his half-erect cock on my belly, and I could feel the soft weight of his balls settling between my thighs.

We kissed for a long time, growing hard, moving against each other a little, until Sam lifted himself from my chest slightly, and began to glide his erection through the smooth friction of our precum-slippery groins. We shifted around a bit till we got the angle just right, then he started to thrust in long fast strokes, dragging his cock next to mine, the heads bumping, the sensitive undersides stroked by the tight muscles of our stomachs. He worked at it, head hanging between his braced arms, breathing hard, dripping sweat onto my chest. I gripped his forearms and moved opposite him, straining against his body until we both started to come. Then he slowed his movements and stroked leisurely while we rolled through our orgasms, grunting softly with each contraction, squishy little noises from our cum-covered stomachs making us smile at each other. He slid off me, and we dozed until hunger woke us, showering quickly and raiding the kitchen to haul it all in front of the TV in the den.

Sam knew every inch of my house already, so it barely felt different to have him there full time. What _was_ different was _knowing_ that he would be there. That we would wake up, fall asleep, cook, eat, have sex every day, together. We secluded ourselves the next two weeks, telling our friends only that I was busy, and inviting everyone to a pool party the Saturday after next. I saw Sky at the barn a couple times, greeting him with affection and cornering him in the men's room one time for a big wet kiss, making him promise to come to the party. Zane waggled his eyebrows at me and I grinned back, so I think he knew how things had worked out. I saw the joint doctor who gave me some exercises to help break up the scar tissue in my shoulder that had built up over the years. Sam was like the Gym Police, making sure I did them every day, and slowly it began to feel better.

Sam and I talked a lot during that time, learning more about our pasts, sharing little bits of things about ourselves. I confided that I still jerked off over a picture of him from four years ago dressed as a pirate for Halloween. He made me show him the picture, a little crinkled around the edges from me clutching it in the throes of orgasm. He has a patch over one eye, a bright scarf around his head, and he's leering at the camera, his dark chest bare, tight pants revealing the bulge of his cock and balls.

When he stopped laughing, he told me the fantasy he'd had after watching me ride for the first time. I had been schooling one of Abby's big Thoroughbreds, posting to the trot as we circled the arena. He imagined sitting on the saddle behind me, his cock inside me, me bouncing merrily up and down on him as we trotted around. When I told him that might actually be possible, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he grinned at me.

Maria fed us like kings, so we started getting up a little earlier and going for a run through the estates. At first it was tough to get a good run in. The first morning Sam dragged me behind the gardener's shed at the back of the development and ravished me on a pile of sod. The second morning it was up in the tree house we found at the edge of the piney woods, with the rising sun seeping in through the branches. The third morning I sucked him off quickly before we got out of bed and we made it the whole way around without incident.

We ate in every night those two weeks, viewing it as a honeymoon of sorts, and we weren't interested in anyone else's company. Maria left us something most nights, and Sam cooked a few times. We read, watched TV, played cards, the usual evening pursuits, and it was so comfortable that it was difficult to believe that neither of us had ever lived with a lover before.

One morning I woke before him. He had kicked off the sheet and was sprawled on his back, his soft penis curled into its nest of short dark hair. I wrapped my fingers gently around it, and the feel of its fragile warmth in my hand brought a flood of emotion that tightened my throat. I looked at Sam's peaceful sleeping face, and wanted desperately to somehow keep him from life's inevitable hurts and disappointments. I knew that was impossible and unrealistic, but it didn't lessen the urge to want to hold him close and keep him safe.

He stirred a little, and I began a rhythmic squeezing with my hand. By the third one, his cock was coming gloriously alive. I was mesmerized by the sight of it swelling and lengthening in my hand. Usually, by the time we got naked with each other, it was upright and ready, so it wasn't often that I got to enjoy the process. When his cock was fully erect and twitching in my grip, I glanced up at him. He was watching me through narrowed eyes. "You _better_ have plans for that," he growled in his deep, gravelly morning voice that made me shiver with desire.

Oh, I had plans alright.

We made love often every morning, either in bed or out on the trail somewhere (turns out we both love morning sex, something we hadn't known about each other until we were together every morning), and again at night. We also both loved fucking somewhere other than the bedroom, and during those two weeks he burned dinner while taking me over the kitchen table, damn near drowned us both in the pool, and seduced me under a full moon on a blanket in the pasture with Xia grazing nearby. Not to mention our morning adventures while jogging. We were very happy, and those two weeks bonded our partnership like nothing else could have. We emerged two halves of a whole, a strong couple, loving, trusting, in tune with each other in ways I'd seen in only a few other relationships.

Pool party Saturday dawned clear and hot perfect for a day of playing with friends. Cas and Adam were cavorting in the water naked when James and Ernesto arrived. I sent them out to the pool, and was heading back to the kitchen when I saw Sky's Explorer turn in the lane. I alerted Sam, and walked out to meet him. We hugged and kissed when he got out of the truck, and I walked him to the door with my hand on the back of his neck. I knew he was nervous, and when he saw Sam smiling at him from the doorway, he stopped for a moment, took a deep breath, then marched up to him. Sam shook his hand, running his free hand up and down Sky's upper arm, then led the way to the kitchen.

Cas chose that moment to come bouncing in the door for more chips, his cock flopping from thigh to thigh. When he spotted Sky, he stopped dead, grinned like a fool and kissed him, a wet sloppy smack. Sky had been with them a couple more times since the night we went there together, and they were getting to be a regular threesome. Sky kissed him back, and smiled at Cas's ass as he trotted back out to the pool. Zane and Chris arrived, greeting us all with hugs and kisses, Sky included, and he returned the kisses with enthusiasm, eyeing Chris with interest.

Soon everyone was naked in the pool except Sky and Sam, who went to where Sky was sitting and straddled the bench behind him, reaching down to pull Sky's t-shirt off. Sam rubbed sunscreen onto his back, and I could see Sky relax under his hands; Sam's tongue isn't the only thing that's magic. When Sam moved to his chest, he pulled Sky back against him and I could see them talking. After a few moments, they stood up and Sam's thumbs hooked into Sky's shorts, hauling them down those long tan legs. When he bit Sky on the ass, Sky jumped a foot, then laughed and leaped into the pool with the rest of us. I smiled a 'thanks' at Sam, who stripped and cornered me in the pool for a deep, wet kiss, groping me lustfully

We grilled steaks, sausage, corn and veggies as evening fell, sitting around the pool in various groups as we got up to get more food and sat back down somewhere else. Somehow the conversation got around to blow job techniques. Zane was so adamant that Chris was the deep throat queen, we decided on a contest to settle the matter. We looked at the sausages, but they were way too small, so we started looking at each other. Most of us had been with one other over the years so we were familiar with the available equipment in its aroused state. Sky was a bit of a wild card, but three of us had seen his cock hard, so we took that into consideration.

Finally, we settled on me as being the longest at about 9", not as thick as Sam or Chris, but deep throating is all about length, so I was 'it.' The rules were simple whoever could get my cock the furthest down his throat in three tries, won. I was ceremoniously laid out on a chaise with a cold beer, and Sam got me marble hard with his hand and mouth, causing several erections, and a few empathetic moans as I writhed under Sam's sensual touch.

Cas waved his hand to go first, and everyone gathered around to witness his attempt. He ended up about an inch from my belly, gagged, and backed away to make room for the next contestant. Adam, James, Zane, and Ernesto didn't get quite that far, shaking their heads and vowing to practice more. We all giggled, but sobered up quickly when Chris stepped up to me, leaned over and buried his nose in my bush on the first go. I came off the chaise with a gasp and grabbed his head, holding him there for a second. Does anything feel as good as having your cock buried deep in a hot guy's throat? Well, yeah, actually, but this is a close second.

I crossed my eyes and flopped back, gathering my control for the last two contestants. Sky was looking anxiously between me and Sam. We hadn't announced our partnership yet, but he was well aware that he was about to wrap his lips around a cock that belonged to Sam, and he was having second thoughts. Sam finally teased him into it, and he rested his hand on my leg, squeezing a little as he leaned over me. As his lips parted, I held my breath. I was still very attracted to him and wasn't sure how I was going to react to this. Sam seemed to sense my unease and grabbed my hand, holding tight as Sky inhaled me until his lips were pressed tight to the base of my penis, beating Chris by a nose. Everyone cheered as he slid his mouth back up me, giving the leaking slit of my cock a flick as he sat back with a satisfied smile.

Sam eyed him for a moment, and as I looked up at him, it hit me why he was going last. He planned to win and use the ensuing celebration to announce us as a couple. But how could he beat Sky? Ha, what did I know? He grabbed my cock in one hand, stroking me until my eyes crossed and I was purple and straining at the seams, getting another half inch out of me. He cupped my balls in his other hand as he worked his mouth down my cock, pausing occasionally to whet the audience's anticipation, stopping when his lips meet my belly, a tie with Sky. But he wasn't finished. One by one, he gently pushed my balls into his cheek, dragging groans from everyone's throat but his own, it being filled with me.

He rolled his eyes at me, and then pulled up a little, letting my balls slide out of his mouth. He started working on my cock with his tongue and I tried to shove him away, wondering what the hell he was doing. He moved up and down on me, root to crown, and silence fell as our friends realized what was happening. Never one to miss an opportunity, Cas immediately sat down next to me and started stroking his cock, moaning quietly and watching us intently. One by one the others joined him, transfixed by the sight of Sam sucking me with those long, deep pulls. I came on the ninth one, crying out, and twisting away from Sam's strong suction. He stayed on me, pumping me with his hand, keeping the head of my cock in his mouth for the first couple shots. Then he lifted off and let the rest pulse out onto his hand, dribbling down his fingers.

The guys unloaded then, either onto me or each other. Sky stood near my hip, eyes closed, pulling gently on his cock, milking every last drop. God, he was hot. I watched him until he opened his eyes to mine, smiling at him. He returned the smile and came to me when I held out my hand, pulling him down and kissing him deeply. Sam put his hand on the back of Sky's neck and when our kiss broke, he turned Sky to him and chased my kiss with his own. I could see him respond to the skill of Sky's mouth; he tilted his head and leaned into Sky, deepening the kiss. When they pulled apart, they looked at each other for a few seconds, and I knew Sky would be coming to bed with us tonight.

Sam stood, pulling me up with him, and threw an arm around my shoulders. I looked around at my circle of friends, watching us in the twilight. "Sam and I _finally_ realized we're in love, after all these years. He moved in a couple weeks ago." We waited through the hugs and kisses, accepting congratulations, grinning at each other. "And, and, we're going to play as a couple, so don't cross us off your social calendar." That was greeted with cheers and a few friendly gropes. As I mentioned earlier, Sam was a favorite bed partner.

We all jumped in the pool to wash off, played volleyball for a while, ate again, and finally started winding down. James and Ernesto left for home since they had to feed thirty-two horses the next morning. Zane and Chris headed for the cabana, while Cas and Adam followed Sam, Sky, and I to the house. At the top of the stairs, they broke left to the far guest room, and Sam grabbed Sky by the wrist, bringing him with us. We showered to get the chlorine off, drying each other half heartedly, and then fell into bed, me in the middle with Sam's ass in my crotch, and Sky draped over me from behind. He had a hard-on going that I thought we might have to do something about, but he settled down and fell asleep without too much wiggling.

We woke up as the sun was rising over the pasture, rotated through the toilet and sink, then headed back to bed. I lay on my back with my hands behind my head; Sky and Sam were propped on either side of me. Sam's hand wandered over me, tugging at golden tufts of hair in my crotch, swirling a finger around my nipple, licking the soft curve of my side. Sky watched him, but didn't touch me until Sam leaned across to kiss him, playing in his mouth while gradually moving back, bringing Sky with him. Finally Sky had to put a hand on me or fall over, and he ended up holding my far hipbone, his forearm lying low across my belly, just brushing my soft dick. I pushed up into him a little, smiling as the warmth and pressure of his arm stiffened me. He broke the kiss and glanced down, then took me in his hand, stroking gently.

"I hear Dean took care of you the other night," Sam said with a smile.

He blushed. "Yeah. It was . . . good."

I raised my head and glared at him. "Good? It was just 'good'?"

He laughed. "Okay, okay, it was amazing, all right? Awesome."

"Wanna try it from the other side?" Sky and I looked at Sam. "You don't mind, do you, Baby?" he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, well, if I have to."

"Okay, we'll do this together," he said to Sky, crawling between my legs, and pulling Sky around beside him. "Lube us all real good."

Sky went to work, doing himself first, then Sam's twitching erection, finally sliding a warm hand down from my balls to rub a cautious finger around my pucker. "Push it in," Sam instructed, shoving my knee back so he could watch Sky's progress. I groaned as Sky's big, blunt middle finger pushed into me. "All the way."

Sky's face was a study in concentration as he watched his finger disappear, glancing up at me when he was in. I groaned, and arched back a little as he sunk in. Love those knuckles.

Sam had been screwing me at least once a day for the past two weeks, so I didn't need all the prep work he ran Sky through, but it felt great and Sky needed to learn in case he topped someone less experienced than me. By the time he had three fingers in me, Sky was shaking worse than I was and had to stop. Sam passed the time playing with Sky's ass, slipping just the tip of his finger in and when Sky had recovered sufficiently, Sam stroked him firmly several times, making Sky gasp, and bringing him fully erect. Then he nodded at me and I grabbed my knees, spreading myself for Sky.

"Move up a little, spread your knees," Sam instructed. "Hang onto your dick right below the head and push into him. Don't put too much effort into it cause you only want to go in to here," he instructed, giving Sky's cock a squeeze. Sky took a deep breath, and as I felt him press against me, I pushed slightly and in he went. He let out a quavery moan and closed his eyes tight. I smiled at Sam, remembering our first time.

"All the way now, slowly," Sam encouraged him, and Sky slid tentatively into me, breathing hard through his mouth at the tight grip of my ass around his lurching cock. When he was buried in me, he stopped and fell forward onto braced arms, hanging over me.

"_Jesus_! I had no (moan) . . . fucking (pant) . . . _idea_ (grunt)."

He hung there for a few moments, then began to slide slowly out of me, a tight grimace on his face. When he sank back in, his features relaxed and his mouth fell open as a long 'ahhhhhhhh' sighed out of him. He picked up the pace and came in just a few minutes, groaning loudly with each pulse.

When he was finished, Sam claimed me, impatiently shoving his way in, rock hard from having watched Sky come in me. Sky's eyes were glued to where Sam's cock moved in and out of my body. Sam began thrusting quickly, and I knew we wouldn't last long, so I started stroking myself, watching Sam's face as he pumped into me. When he began to climax, he opened his mouth in a silent grimace, each spasm jerking him hard inside me. I got myself off a couple strokes after him, and for a full minute all you could hear were grunts and groans as we emptied ourselves.

"Ahhhh. God." Sky collapsed on his back, one hand spread across his chest, his mostly hard dick still twitching on his belly. We lay there for a while, getting our breath back. "That was unreal. I'm a top. For sure." He looked quickly at me. "Not that I didn't enjoy the other night, but this was way better. What a feeling!"

"You think so, huh? You haven't been fucked by Sam yet. I'm a novice compared to him."

"Well, hardly," Sam snorted. "You do me just fine."

"Yeah, but you're more experienced than I am, and have better control. It makes a difference. I know. I've been fucked by guys like me."

Sky was listening with interest. "Okay. If you want to," he added quickly, glancing at Sam.

I could see Sam was interested. His cock was already perking back up, but he looked at me and my heart gave a little twist. He wanted to, I knew that. What I suddenly wasn't so sure about was whether I could say okay. Sam watched me carefully, his eyes locked on mine, and then he cupped my face in his hand and ran his thumb lightly over my mouth. "I love you."

That was all I needed. I knew he did, I knew we were stronger together than I gave us credit for, but sometimes I still needed to hear it.


	2. Chapter 2

"It's okay," I assured him, rubbing his chest. "I want to watch you." I rolled to my knees and pushed Sky down to the bed, kissing him on the way. "This is a good time to do it. You just came, so you're relaxed. Sam's bigger than me, so you're gonna need to relax."

I knelt at his side, poured lube into my hand, and went to work on his hole, easing a finger in gently at first, and then moving it around more vigorously before adding a second one. It took him several minutes to be comfortable with a third, but soon he was moaning and rolling his head back and forth. Sam moved into position, and pushed Sky's knees back.

"Keep breathing, and push a little." I repeated my instructions from two weeks ago. Sam gripped his cock and pushed firmly, popping in easily, although Sky gasped and pulled away a little. "Try to relax," I told him, stroking his chest, talking softly to him.

"Ohhhh, God, he feels so different from you," he moaned in a strained voice. "It hurts a little." He reached out and Sam grabbed his hand. I rubbed a slick finger around between his balls and Sam's dick, and he began to relax into the feeling instead of fighting it.

"You're okay, as long as it's just a little."

He nodded, eyes closed, chest rising and falling in deeps breaths. After a minute or so, he looked up at Sam. "Go ahead."

Sam wrapped his hands around the front of Sky's thighs, and worked his cock in another couple inches. Sky arched his head back, pushing his shoulders off the bed, but didn't say anything. Sam paused to regain some control, groaning deep in his chest. He pushed in a few more inches, eliciting a long moan from Sky, but still no signal to stop. Sam leaned forward onto braced arms, and grunted his way to full penetration, pushing Sky up the bed a little. Sky was shaking badly, and Sam wasn't much better, a sheen of sweat covered his body and he shivered repeatedly, like a wet dog.

Seeing Sam like this was an emotional struggle for me. It was the first time we'd played with someone else since we'd committed to a partnership. And we didn't know Sky well. Watching him fuck another man, seeing him so powerfully caught up in it, nicked at something deep inside me. On the other hand, it was incredibly erotic to see him take Sky as he'd taken me so many times. I looked at the point where Sam merged with Sky, the pink skin of Sky's hole stretched tight around the pulsing veins of Sam's thick cock. Erotic won out, and I kissed Sam deeply and long enough that he looked at me questioningly when we broke apart. I just smiled at him. We looked down at Sky who was watching us with envy.

"I so hope I can find that someday. You two are amazing together."

We grinned at each other, knowing how fortunate we were. Sam looked back to Sky.

"You ready?"

Sky took a deep breath and nodded, grabbing the backs of his knees. Sam's face was a study in concentration as he started slowly, going deeper and harder as Sky's expression eased. A few times Sky was at the ragged edge, but Sam backed off and tugged Sky's balls down until he could take some more. I'd been on the receiving end of Sam at his best, and knew what Sky was going through. There really is nothing like getting fucked by a guy who knows what he's doing and is in the mood to show you.

At the end, Sky was crying out with each stroke, his knees around his ears. Sam was dripping sweat and grunting each time he drove forward. I stuck my hand between them and grabbed Sky's hard cock in a firm fist. He came immediately, splattering cum all over his chest. Sam took a few more hard strokes, drove deep and froze, his face the only clue to the powerful orgasm he was experiencing. I was so aroused by the sight of them that I came again without even touching myself, pumping hot spurts onto Sam's knee. He opened his eyes at the unexpected warmth and gave me a steamy look.

He pulled free and collapsed face first between Sky and me, an arm over each of us. "Fuck, I'm done for. You couldn't get a rise out of me with a fork lift."

I patted him on the butt. "You'll feel better after a shower." He just groaned. Sky looked like he'd been run over by a truck, but sat up when I shook him. We grabbed Sam by the ankles and dragged him off the bed till his knees hit the floor, then skipped out of the way laughing as he swung around, growling and swiping at our legs. We finally made it to the shower, got clean and sort of dressed boxers all around and trooped down to the kitchen where Adam and Chris were dishing out scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. Zane and Cas were on the patio, shoveling food into their faces when we joined them.

"Theah's somethin' 'bout fuckin' in a strange bed that makes me ravenous," Zane mumbled around a mouthful of eggs.

Chris cuffed him gently on the back of the head as he came out from the kitchen. "You're always hungry. It's got nothing to do with strange beds, for God's sake. And we didn't fuck, we made love."

Zane snorted. "Sorry, honey. You may a been making love ta me but Ah was fuckin' you." That got him a hard punch from Chris that knocked him off his chair, and launched us into a discussion regarding the nature of the word 'fuck.' Adam claimed that 'fuck' was the basic noun to describe one guy's dick in another guy's ass. You could dress it up however you liked it was still a fuck.

Those of us in a relationship disagreed, stating that it might be fucking in a technical sense 'fuck' as a verb but it was definitely 'making love' emotionally, at least most of the time. That got us off into the various ways 'fuck' could be used. As an adverb 'he's so fucking hot.' As a noun 'I don't give a fuck.' As part of a word 'abso-fucking-lutely', 'in-fucking-credible.'

I looked at Sam and shook my head, smiling, amused at the turn our breakfast conversation had taken. Adam saw me. "What, are we too juvenile for you now?" His voice was harsh and we all stared at him. He flushed then, a dark brick red that started on his neck and spread quickly to his face. Shoving back his chair, he went into the house, and a few moments later we heard his truck start, then the angry sound of squealing tires as they caught on the asphalt of the road.

"Jesus, what got into him?" Cas's voice was quiet, shocked. Adam had always been the kidder among us, upbeat, joking, ready for anything. This was very out of character and it scared me a little. Sam put a hand on my shoulder.

"I think maybe 'we' got into him. Go find him, Dean." I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, trying to think where he might have gone. A few places came to mind, but one stood out, and I headed north on the freeway. When we were teenagers, we used to go out into the hills, camping and hiking, fooling around in our little tent, just the two of us. We never took anyone else along, and we swore we would never bring anyone to our spot. It was just for us.

His truck was parked haphazardly under a big tree at the turnoff, but he wasn't in it. I walked slowly down the trail, listening for him, looking through the trees, but I didn't spot him until I emerged into the clearing where we used to pitch the tent. He was sitting on a stump, his back to me, leaning forward, elbows on knees with his head in his hands. I watched him for a moment before walking slowly to him. I sunk down to the ground a few feet away. He'd been crying, and scrubbed his arm across his face when he saw me.

"Go the fuck away." His voice wobbled, and he gulped down another sob.

I watched him for a moment, wondering how to handle this. I think I knew what the problem was, but needed to make him see it instead of telling him what I thought. "Do you love me?"

His head came up angrily, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. "What the _fuck_ kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it. Do you love me?"

"God, Dean, you know I do. I have forever."

"Are you _in_ love with me?"

That stopped him. The fingers of one hand rubbed hard over the knuckles of the other as he looked away, staring unseeingly at the trees. It took a while, and when he answered, his voice was small. "No." He turned to look at me for the first time. "No, I'm not in love with you." He dropped his head back into his hands, and his shoulders jerked as he tried to get his emotions under control. "But I love you and I love being with you. Those nights on the couch, watching stupid movies, feeding you whatever dessert I brought . . ." His voice trailed off. "I'll miss that."

"You heard me back at the pool Sam and I are still going to play."

"Yeah, together." He flushed again, but it was from embarrassment this time and colored only his pale, freckled cheeks. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm happy for you. Sam is a great guy. It just caught me by surprise, I guess. I mean, after all these years, who'd have thought?"

I didn't know what to say. I'd know him all my life. He was the first boy I'd had sex with fumbling, sweaty, no clue what we were doing sex but sex nonetheless. It simply hadn't occurred to me that he would be upset by my becoming Sam's partner. I had naively assumed that everyone would be happy for us, and I hadn't given a thought to anyone's feelings but my own.

I crawled to him, pushing between his knees so that I could hug him. He just sat there for a minute, and then wrapped his arms around me, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. "I'm sorry," I told him. "I wouldn't hurt you for the world. I love those evenings, too. Let me talk to Sam."

He pulled back to look at me. "And what, get permission?" he said sullenly.

"No," I said, stung by his sarcastic tone. "Just discuss it with him."

I hugged him tight for a moment and kissed the side of his neck, then got to my feet and walked back to my truck, thinking about relationships, how complex people were, realizing that you can never know what goes on in someone else's head no matter how well you think you know them. It made me sad to think I might lose Adam's friendship, but that would be his choice. I could only try to make it as unlikely as possible.

By the time I got back to the house, everyone had gone, and Sam was out by the jungle pool, bringing in the leftover food. I helped him carry in the last load, putting things away and getting the kitchen back to some sort of order for Maria in the morning. He didn't talk to me during all this, just worked by my side, giving me a little smile when our eyes met, and his quiet understanding made it easy for me to talk to him. I told him what Adam had said, not making a case one way or the other, and when I was done, he dropped into the nearest chair and pulled me down onto his lap.

"I work a night or two each week at the restaurant. Spend those evenings with Adam."

"He doesn't want to just watch TV on the couch with me."

"I know." He was quiet for a bit. "It's okay, Dean."

"Okay for me to fuck around without you? I don't want to do that. That's not what we agreed to." My voice rose as I spoke, and he patted my chest. I knew I was upset because if he would allow me, maybe I had to allow him someday, and I didn't think I wanted to do that.

"Calm down. I'm not saying you can go screw the entire gay population of the tri-county area. Just Adam. And just until he gets used to the idea of us. We can fit three on that couch."

We didn't talk anymore about it. Sam had given me a way to fix a problem with someone I cared about, and the depth of his trust filled me with a soul-deep contentment that I knew would get me through almost anything life could throw at us. We spent the rest of the day messing around the house, rearranging some furniture to make an office for Sam's endless restaurant paperwork. I thought you needed food to run a restaurant, but apparently you needed a shitload of paper, too. Health certificates, liquor license applications, employee applications, vendor order forms, invoices, daily departmental reports, P&L statements; the list went on and on, and Sam spent a couple hours a day on it, some here and some at the office at Stiva's.

In the afternoon we went for a ride. I had brought home Flex, one of Zane's retired roping horses, and had been teaching Sam to ride. He took to it like a natural, and we wandered around the bridle paths for a couple hours, saying hi to neighbors and admiring their gardens. I saw a fountain I liked and we decided to put one on the back patio. Sam wanted to try doing it on horseback, but I persuaded him to wait till dark that evening and see if it was even possible in the safety of my own barn. With that to look forward to, we spent a pleasant evening eating pool party leftovers and lounging around the jungle pool, trying to psych ourselves up for Monday.

When it was dark, we grabbed a bottle of lube and a pocket full of carrots, and headed down to the little barn on the hill. Xia and Flex were standing in the paddock, hipshot, dozing. They perked up when they saw us, and came into the barn for the carrots. I haltered Flex and hopped on him bareback. "Get up behind me. We need to get him used to our weight first."

Sam climbed on from the fence, and we walked him around a while. He didn't seem to care one way or the other, so we went back in the barn and slid off. I put him in the cross tie stall, but left the rope over his neck and hung a hay bag where he could reach it while Sam stripped and stroked himself. "Are you gonna saddle him?"

"Not unless you want me to sing soprano. The horn'll castrate me, and there isn't enough room for both of us anyway. Get on."

Once Sam was on him, I climbed up the rails and carefully slid a leg over Flex, ending up on Sam's lap. I lay forward over Flex's neck while he got himself hard and played with my ass a little.

"Ok, I'm ready."

He held me by the hips and pulled me back onto him. It took us a few tries to get him lined up properly, and I was starting to giggle, but then he suddenly slid into me, taking my breath.

"Ooooohhh! Bull's eye!"

He cracked up, and we had to stop for a minute while Flex calmed down from my shriek. When he was eating again, I pulled myself forward using a handful of his mane. Sam pulled me back, and we were able to achieve almost a full stroke, but my balls were squashed on Flex's hard withers, so it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. Then I had the bright idea of turning us both around. If I lay over his big broad rump, my poor nuts would have plenty of room and Sam would have better access to my ass.

One by one, we swung our legs to the same side, then back over the other way and, presto, we were facing backwards, except I was behind Sam instead of in front of him. I pushed him down flat and crawled over him until we were in the right positions. Flex laid his ears back at this maneuver, but got over it when I spoke to him. I scooted back toward Sam's pulsing erection, and he guided himself into me without a hitch. Other than scratchy horse hair in our crotches, it was pretty good. We didn't actually go anywhere; we didn't have a good way to stay on Flex and concentrate on fucking at the same time, not to mention being unable to steer while facing his tail. And trying to stay quiet to not spook him put a damper on our orgasms, so Sam chalked the whole thing up as one of those fantasies that are better off left in your head.

On the way back to the house, we stopped by the Jacuzzi and took turns getting the horse hair out of each other's nether regions. Sam was sprawled on his chest on the warm concrete, kneeling on one of the ledges so his dick and balls were hanging in the hot bubbling water, while I plucked stray Flex hairs off his ass. When I was finished, I leaned forward and pressed my mouth to his butt cheek, tickling him with my tongue in between nibbles. He spread his knees for me, arching his back a little as I dragged my tongue into the crevice of his ass, and in no time I had him groaning and pushing back into me. My cock was painfully hard, stimulated by both the taste and feel of Sam and the caressing swirl of the water jets. Desire rolled through me, and I did something I'd never done before.

I climbed out of the hot tub, and hauled him over to a chaise lounge, pushing him face down with his legs bent and his feet on the ground, spreading him wide. I stood straddled over the chaise behind him, lubed us quickly and shoved a finger in him abruptly enough that he gasped, but didn't protest. When I added a second finger with no reaction from him except a low moan, I pulled out and pushed my cock firmly into him, sliding all the way to the root on one long stroke. He was trembling a little, but his moan was one of pleasure, not pain, and it excited me, so I began to thrust fast and deeply, angling for his prostate every third or fourth stroke. The lean muscles of his legs stood out tensely, and he let out a hard grunt each time my belly slapped into his ass.

This was very different from my usual taking of him, and I wondered where it had come from. That he was accepting it with such abandon was a little unsettling also. It was as though our roles had been reversed, or at least blurred a little. I was now the aggressor, and he the more passive one. Our relationship had never been one of extremes, but it was clear to both of us that Sam exerted more control over me than I did him, and we were fine with that. I trusted him, and followed his lead in most things with the confidence that he would never do anything to hurt me or go too far beyond what I was comfortable with.

But here we were.

I curled my upper body over him, bracing myself on straight arms at either side of his chest, and let my body do what it wanted until my legs began to shake from exertion. Putting both hands under his hips, I pulled him to his feet and locked one arm around his waist, reaching for his cock with my other hand. He was as hard as I've ever seen him, and a long shimmery strand of precum hung from his slit, whipping back and forth as I thrust into him. Unlike some guys, Sam always stayed hard when he was penetrated. His balls were tight to the base of his cock and I knew he was ready to blow, so I let myself go and jerked him hard and quick. His moan went up an octave, and then turned to short deep grunts as his cock swelled in my hand, and he began to spurt load after load onto the cushion, his entire body convulsing against me with the effort.

The feel of him coming in my fist pushed me over the edge, and I drove deep into him as my balls contracted. When the first pulse rippled up my cock, I rode it, taking short strokes timed with the spasms, until I couldn't move any more. I pulled out of him and let him down onto the chaise, kneeling forward between his legs to rest my chest on his butt, my head pillowed in my arms on his back. We lay there, not speaking for several minutes, getting our breath back. Finally, he pushed to his feet, took me by the hand, walked silently to the house, up the stairs, and straight into the shower. He didn't speak to me or look at me, and I began to wonder if I had overstepped some line between us that I hadn't been aware of.

He dried me off gently, almost reverently, and led me to bed. As we lay down, he pushed me onto my back and draped himself over me, propped on an elbow so we could look at each other.

"What was that?" His tone was neutral, and I studied his face for a clue as to what he was feeling.

"I don't know exactly. When I had my tongue in your ass, I just suddenly felt like I had to have you. It's never been like that because you always offer yourself to me when you wanna get fucked." I paused, wondering what the hell he was thinking, if he was angry. "I'm sorry if it… if I… offended you, but it just felt right. I'm not sure I could have stopped." He didn't say anything, just kept wandering his hand through my armpit and over my chest. "Sam?"

"I'm trying to find the words." He leaned down to lick my nipple until it tightened, sucking it for a moment. "I wasn't offended, I was astounded. You've never come after me like that, and I almost lost it when you put the first finger in me." He kissed me softly. "I didn't know I could feel like that."

"Like what, exactly? Was it good?"

"Yes, it was good. What do you think I'm saying here?" He spoke impatiently, frowning at me.

"Well, so far you've only said it was different, not good."

"_Yes_! It was _good_! It was fucking mind blowing!" He paused, his eyes unfocused. "I've never been… I don't know… overwhelmed by you before. I guess maybe now I know a little how you felt that first night a couple weeks ago when I took you hard."

I nodded. "I've always liked it when you get a little rough with me. It makes me feel like you want me so badly you can hardly control yourself."

"Exactly. I just never felt that from you. I liked it, too."

As he smiled at me, another small knot was tied into the countless woven strands that made up the fabric of our relationship. We curled up together, him on his back, me on my side, my face pressed to his upper arm. I lay there for a while, his heart beating under my palm, thinking of our evolving relationship. Tonight had been something new, a scenario in which I had a slightly stronger hand, and I fell asleep with visions of Sam's pleasure-tortured face swirling through my head.

The following Friday Sky spent most of the day at Castlewood shoeing a big batch of horses that were back at the barn for a three week break in their show schedule. I took him to lunch, and after a morning of looking at his ass as he bent over one set of feet after another, I couldn't resist giving his cock a squeeze when I finally got him alone in the truck. He clamped his hand over mine and pushed up into me with a deep groan.

"Fuck, I'm horny. Cas's traveling all the time right now and Adam stays in town a few nights a week." He closed his eyes, slid down in the seat, and dragged my hand up and down his now hard cock. That gave me an erection pretty damn quick, and since a decent restaurant was now out of the question, we ended up eating drive-thru burgers. Not quite what I had in mind, but since Sky was now rubbing my cock in return, I really didn't care that much. In fact, I barely tasted the burger.

Mindful of my agreement with Sam, I managed to stop short of actually shooting, but it was close. As we sat there waiting for our cocks to calm down, I panted, "Come over tonight. We gotta finish this. In fact, just come home with me. You can shower there."

The rest of the day crept by, and all I could think about was getting Sky's dick in my mouth. I snuck him into the tack room a couple times and kissed him silly, but it just slowed down his work, so I finally left him alone and went off to inventory tack. He followed me home where Sam was in the kitchen tinkering with a new juicer or something. I walked in holding Sky's hand, grabbed Sam's, who raised his eyebrows but came along willingly, kept walking down the hall and up the stairs, where I turned on the shower and ordered them both to strip. After I got my shirt off, I kissed Sam, slicked my tongue across his mouth, turned and locked lips with Sky. We edged our way into the shower, kissing and stroking whatever was handiest.

Sky didn't stand a chance now that I had him naked cause I still had the hots for him, big time. I pushed him face first up against the wall and proceeded to soap him from head to toe, pulling his cock down with long, firm strokes until he was moaning nonstop, sliding a slick finger up and down the crack of his ass, slowing just a little over his hole but not going in, even though he was pushing back into my hand. I glanced at his face once his eyes were closed, his mouth slack, his cheek squashed into the tile wall. He looked like he'd had a lobotomy.

Sam caught our mood, and did to me what I was doing to Sky so that by the time we turned the water off, we just barely made it, soaking wet, to the carpet outside the bathroom door. Sky shoved me to my hands and knees, dropped to one knee himself, dripped a big wad of spit onto my pucker and pushed into me. It was probably the noisiest fuck I've ever heard. Sky grunted and growled through the whole thing, which didn't take long. Sam knelt in front of me with his cock in my mouth, so I concentrated on sucking him while Sky banged away at me, his balls slapping wetly against me with every thrust.

About two minutes later, Sky sunk his fingers into my hips, his head fell back, and he shook through what sounded like a long-overdue orgasm. When he finally quieted down, he aimed his still-hard dick at my nuts and began to stroke my cock. Sam and I came about the same time, the feel of his hot shots in my throat pulling my trigger. Sky stayed with me all the way through, milking my cock thoroughly with his fist, which felt great, and I was really glad I'd brought him home.

We lay there for a while, dripping water and cum onto the carpet before Sam roused himself. He got to his feet and dried himself off, then me, then Sky, tossing boxers at us, so it seemed we were going to eat before round two. The juicer turned out to be a pasta machine, something I'd have thought an Italian chef would avoid like a vampire shuns garlic, but he was crazy about the thing, forcing Sky and I to watch every step of the process. Luckily we had a big bottle of wine to make it more interesting, and before too long we were eating homemade cheese raviolis in pesto sauce.

We retired to the den with coffee and spice cake that Maria had made that afternoon. That kept us out of trouble for a while, but Sky wasn't going to let the evening go to waste and soon had his head buried in Sam's lap. I sat behind him, nibbling on his ass and sliding a finger in occasionally until Sam pushed him off and swapped places with me. He flipped Sky onto his back, lifted his ass in both hands and angled in. It had been a couple weeks since the pool party and I knew Sky had spent some time with Cas and Adam, but neither of them was as thick as Sam. Sky took it all in one long slide; his tightly closed eyes and tense jaw the only clue that it was an effort.

"Save it for me," I told Sam as I knelt across Sky's belly, as far back as I could get. I could kiss Sky, and feel Sams stomach bump up against my ass every time he stroked in, pushing my cock against Sky's. Sam gripped my ass, his thumbs sliding between my cheeks. The whole arrangement was wild. My cock was in heaven, grinding between our hard bellies; my ass was being probed by a pro; and Sky, the best kisser in Texas, was working on my mouth. I never wanted it to end, but of course it finally did.

"Get him off," Sam grunted to me, so I reached between us and tugged Sky to another noisy climax, coating us both with his thick, slippery cum. Once Sam felt Sky's ass begin to clench around him, he pulled out, yanked me backward, and unceremoniously slammed his cock into me.

"Make it snappy," he gritted out, groaning with the strain of holding back. He held me tight against him with one arm and slid the other down my body. As soon as he touched my dick, I was gone, and he was just a stroke later, pulsing inside me as he rotated his pelvis against my ass. Sky lay under us, tweaking my nipple with one hand, and gently squeezing my nuts with the other, watching our faces as we came. I let my weight down onto him, and Sam fell over sideways with a deep sigh.

"Mmmmm," Sky moaned. "I think Cas gets home tomorrow night. I can probably make it till then."

Sam snorted at that, and we all went to bed.

Chris's birthday was July 28th and Sam's was August 1st, so we had a big birthday bash on Saturday the 29th. We invited all sorts of people including everyone's parents, some co-workers, and Maria and her family. I had it catered with a barbeque wagon and a bartender, so none of us would have to work. We got it rolling in the early afternoon, so that the older folks and kids could have a good time before it got too late. About 50 people showed up including a couple that Chris knew from work, Ben and his partner Jesse. Ben was a financial analyst at Chris's firm, mid-30's with curly brown hair and nice almond eyes. Jesse owned a private security company and was probably 40 or so. He was ex-military and looked it with buzzed hair and a rock hard body, impressive even in baggy swim trunks and a t-shirt. He was pleasant, but a little aloof and very observant, and I couldn't help but wonder if the guy ever let himself relax. Chris had told me that he and Ben had been together for about six years, and I noticed that each wore a silver band on his left hand.

We had a great day everyone ate too much, drank a little, swam a lot, got some sun, and met new people. By 8pm, only my guys, and Ben and Jesse were left. We moved down to the jungle pool and really relaxed. Never the shy one, Adam shucked his suit first thing, as usual. Cas joined him, and before long, all nine of us were naked and clustered around the hot tub, in it or sitting on the edge. Ben was in the tub leaning back between Jesse's knees, and it was easy to see how well they fit each other. They reminded me of Sam and me. Jesse's body was amazing; not gym muscles, but real world, don't fuck with me, muscles. Chris told me he had been in the Special Forces. I wasn't surprised. He had the look of a man who could stay alive by his wits.

Sky was starting to feel like one of the gang by now. In the five weeks since he'd first fooled around with Cas and Adam, he'd spent a lot of time with them together and singly, and had spent the night with Sam and me one other time since the pool party. I didn't know if Jesse and Ben were monogamous as a couple, but it seemed as though Ben was eyeing Sky with a little bit more than idle curiosity. Sky, so far, was clueless. Zane, Adam, Sam, and I were all in the tub with Ben between Zane and me. Chris was sitting behind Sam, Sky behind Zane, and Cas had his feet dangling between me and Chris. We talked about all kinds of things, wandering from topic to topic as someone asked a question or told a story. Ben had ridden as a kid and asked me about Castlewood, and what it was like to compete. That led us off into the story of my accident, which earned me a long contemplative look from Jesse, which I returned curiously.

Everyone decided to stay when we called it a night around 11. Sam walked up to the house with everyone but Ben and Jesse, cause I was putting them in the cabana. When Ben wandered off to look around inside, Jesse turned to me, running those vigilant eyes over my face before gripping my shoulder with one hard hand. I tensed up a little, wondering what was up with this guy. He leaned closer so that our faces were about a foot apart and spoke quietly.

"You ever need something, anything, you call me." It was more an order than a statement, and I nodded obediently, too caught up in his intensity to do anything else. He stared at me a second longer, then released me and smiled. "Thanks for inviting us. You've got a gorgeous place here and good friends. See you in the morning." He disappeared into the cabana and I stood there for a moment, staring at the door, wondering what the hell just happened.

Sky had been lured away, or maybe abducted, by Chris and Zane, so it was just Sam and me tonight. He was already in bed reading, but lay down his book when I came into the room. I must have still had a perplexed look on my face cause he frowned at me. "What's the matter?"

I shook my head, and told him about my little conversation with Jesse. He looked back at me, blinking. "Why would he say something like that to you?"

"Beats the hell outta me, but I'd rather have him on my side than not, I guess. He owns that security company. Maybe that's his way of drumming up business."

We shrugged it off and I climbed in beside him, lowering my weight onto him as he reached up to wrap his arms around me. We lay there for a while, kissing, moving against each other a little, but not working very hard at it, just letting things heat up on their own, which they did nicely, ending up with me on my belly impaled by Sam's cock. We don't often do it that way, so it was different to have him hanging over me, kissing my back. It was very passive for me, and I really got into just laying there while he did his thing, although I missed being able to watch him and kiss him easily.

Finally, he pulled me up so that I was on my knees and elbows, and got to work with one hand gripping my hip and the other wrapped around my cock. I was distracted, I guess, and wasn't getting there fast enough to suit him cause he flipped me over, slid back in, and banged the hell out of my prostate. It only took about ten strokes till I moaned and started gushing onto my stomach. Sam gave me a tight smile of approval, and pulled out just in time to add his load to mine, wincing a little each time he pulsed.

Morning announced itself with the smell of coffee and bacon wafting up the stairs. We smiled at each other and trotted down in boxers to find everyone in the kitchen already. Seems like we're always the last ones up the next morning. Jesse gave me a nod, which I returned. After breakfast, we swam for a while, and then everyone started heading home. Eventually it was just Sam, Ben, Jesse, and I. We sat around the pool making idle conversation till Ben and Sam got too warm and hopped back in the pool. I turned to Jesse.

"What did you mean last night?"

He glanced at me, then off across the field, and his expression was somber. He turned back to me and sighed. "Sometimes I get feelings, hunches. I don't usually speak up, but I had one about you, and it was strong enough that I decided to tell you." He shrugged a little. "Sometimes nothing comes of it, but mostly something does. I wanted you to know that if you need help - the kind I can provide - you only need to ask."

"Something bad?" I asked, trying to read his face. I felt a chill despite the warm day.

He glanced at me again. "Well, if it was good, you probably wouldn't need me, would you?" He shook his head and stood up. "Look, don't get all rattled. It may be nothing, but my batting average is pretty good."

He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and cannon-balled into the pool, almost drowning Vincent who got caught in the resulting tidal wave. I watched him thoughtfully for a bit, but couldn't make any more of it than what he'd said. I didn't know of anything that was looming on the horizon to bite me in the ass, but you never know. I tucked the offer of his help away in a corner of my mind, just in case. They took off soon after that with promises to keep in touch.

Life was good, and over the next couple of days I forgot about Jesse's prophecy of doom. One evening, I came home to a dark house and was surprised at how let down I was, not to be greeted by Sam's warm, deep 'hey, babe'. I couldn't recall that he said he'd be busy, but it looked like I was on my own. I unsaddled Xia slowly and wandered up to the house, not thrilled at the idea of a lonely dinner by myself. It made me realize again how much I loved us being a couple, having him there to come home to, being greeted with a hug and a kiss. I toed off my boots at the door, slouched into the kitchen, and went toward the fridge for some wine.

As I lifted my head, I saw a single votive candle burning on the counter. I stared at it for a moment, not realizing its significance. Maria had left a candle burning all day? That seemed unlikely. I walked over to blow it out, and as I got closer, I saw that it was holding down a little note. Sam's handwriting instructed me to pour myself a glass of wine and follow the candles. Smiling now, I poured a glass and took a big sip. I stood still for a moment, listening, but the house was silent, and I had no idea where he was or what to expect.

I walked to the door of the kitchen, and peered down the long hall. About twenty feet away, in the center of the hall, sat another candle with a second note. "Take off your shirt, slowly, button by button." As I complied, I closed my eyes and rubbed my hand over my chest, feeling my nipples harden as my fingers brushed over them, imagining it was his hand. Just outside the door to the den, a third candle and note told me to get naked and come inside. By the time my pants dropped to the floor, I was semi-erect with anticipation. The room was dark except for a few more candles, and I stood in the doorway for a moment letting my eyes adjust.

Sam was standing on the far side of the room, leaning against the wall, ankles crossed. He was naked, a glass of wine in one hand, and his balls in the other. His penis was full and firm, but still hanging down. When he knew that I saw him, he didn't touch himself but swelled gradually to full erection, his cock rising to stand rigidly out from his body. The reflection of a candle flame shimmered in the glistening drop that welled from his slit. This explicit and unmistakable display of his desire for me said more than words ever could. He was watching me intently, his eyes dark and locked onto mine. As I stared back at him, _Right Where I Am_ by Alabama began to play. I listened to the lyrics as Sam sat his wine down and crossed the room to take me in his arms.

_And right where I am  
Is where I wanna be  
It's all I want  
It's all I need  
Forever in your arms  
It's alright with me  
'Cause right where I am's where I wanna be_

We danced slowly, our embrace loose so that we could look at each other. Sam didn't smile, just ran his gaze over my face as though he was memorizing every curve of my cheek and jaw. Soon he closed his eyes and pulled me closer, pressing his face to mine. As the song ended, he kissed me slowly and tenderly, gradually deepening the kiss until we were both breathing hard and grinding our bodies together. He must have set up the CD player for just that song because the room was silent now. When our kiss ended, he held me tightly, burying his face in my neck, and I could feel him trembling just a little. We stood there for several minutes as the emotion of the moment built between us.

Our bellies were slick with precum as we began to move against each other. Sam lowered us to the floor, and lay on me with one leg between mine, wrapping his hands under my shoulders. He still hadn't said a word; everything he felt was in his face as he looked down at me, rolling his pelvis against mine. Our hard cocks glided through the warm, tight press of our stomachs, each stroke accompanied by our sighs and moans. My hands gripped his solid back, the muscles rippling under my palms as he moved on me.

When he lowered his head to kiss me, I knew I wouldn't last long. The whole evening - the disappointment when I thought he wasn't home, the growing anticipation as I followed his notes, the thrill of seeing him naked and hard with wanting me had brought me to a state of urgent arousal. I wrapped my leg over his and began to pump hard, panting with need. He joined me, and we bucked against each other until I cried out and flooded our bellies. The feel of my hot cum on his cock brought Sam to a hard orgasm just a few strokes behind me. His harsh groans filled my ears as he ground against me, jerking with each pulse.

When he was still, he raised his eyes to mine as a soft smile widened his mouth. "That's one of the ways I love you, Dean." he said.

"There are others?" I asked him, smiling back.

"Mmm, yeah," he murmured, nuzzling my face with his nose and mouth. We lay there for a while, savoring the quiet of the house and the feel of our bodies so close together. Too soon, Sam pulled me to my feet and led me upstairs to the shower. We washed each other while Sam tickled and fingered my soapy ass until I was ready to bend over right there, but he just smiled and pushed me under the water to rinse off.

Dinner was Maria's enchiladas with the sangria that we kept on hand in the summer time. We ate in the den, cross-legged on the couch, facing each other and talking about our day. Sam was worried about his dad. Running three restaurants was wearing him out, but he wouldn't hear of maybe selling off one or two of them. I was having problems with a big mare that Chloe had purchased despite my reservations. She was a good jumper, but head strong and too used to getting her own way. After dinner, we walked hand in hand down to the hot tub where we lounged until it was full dark. The sky was clear, filled with stars and a meteor shower that was passing over. As we watched, shooting stars streaked across the dark sky. Out there in the tub, far from the lights of the house, it seemed like a private show for just the two of us.

When the falling stars slowed, I pulled Sam out of the tub and into the cabana under the waterfall. We kissed and touched for a long time, desire building slowly, until Sam rolled me to my stomach and held my wrists to the bed, as he roamed his mouth over my shoulders and neck. His erection dipped to my back now and then, leaving cool traces of precum behind. The wet warmth of his tongue sliding down into my ass had me moaning and lifting my hips to him. Sam let go of me long enough to shove a pillow under me, then gripped my thighs and opened me to his mouth. As I've mentioned, he's very good at rimming, taking his time, teasing with flicks and circles, pressing in a little, just enough to make me beg for more. The sounds his mouth made sucking and licking me were incredibly erotic, and my leaking dick twitched and jerked constantly.

When he had me moaning non-stop, desperate to impale myself on his tongue, he moved in close behind me and pulled me up to my knees. With one arm tight around my chest, he pushed his cock between my legs and slowly dragged it back until it slipped into me. He tucked his hips under as I groaned and dug my fingers into his thighs, pulling him closer. That first moment of penetration is amazing; deeply satisfying in a primal sort of way; the slight initial discomfort only intensifying the incredible pleasure that follows.

He brought both hands to my chest, brushing lightly over my nipples at first, and then rolling them slowly between his thumb and the side of his finger. He timed the twists to coincide with his thrusting so that the sensations merged, and it felt like my entire body was pulsing to the beat of his cock. When I began to shake with arousal, Sam clasped me tightly to him for a moment, then put one hand down and lowered us to the bed. He lay on top of me, our bodies moving in counter point as he drew his hands along my arms and down my sides to my hips, pushing his hands under me to hold my cock.

I begged him to finish me. Instead, he handled me just lightly enough that I was achingly ready, but not quite there. He kept me hanging for what seemed like hours before he slid slowly free, pulling one of my legs across in front of him to put me on my back. He pushed my knees to my chest and entered me smoothly, inching forward, pressing his way to full penetration. I looked up at him as he wrapped his hands low around my thighs and began to thrust. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back, the cords in his neck taut with the effort. His mouth was open and sweat trickled down from his hairline, over his jaw, leaving tracks like tears on his dark skin. The hair on his chest had matted into damp curls from laying on me, and his muscles flexed deeply each time he pulled me to him.

He slowed his stroking to long, deep glides that took him almost completely out of me, then fully back in, slowly enough that I could feel the contours of his thick cock on every nerve ending in my ass. A string of precum dangled from my cock, and my poor nuts were swollen and throbbing. I knew I'd blow the minute either of us touched my cock, so I kept my hands tight on Sam's legs, willing myself to last until he let me go.

He finally released my legs, dropping forward over me onto braced arms, and when I opened my eyes, he was watching me. "Ready, Baby?"

I was beyond rational speech by then and could only moan. "Ohhh, God . . . "

He smiled as a drop of sweat fell from the end of his nose to my chest. "Then do it. Come for me, Dean."

His words freed me, and I wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and touched the tip of my penis with the other. I glided one wet finger lightly down my cock, holding my breath as I felt my orgasm rolling up from my testicles. When it burst from me in short ropey streams, it was all I could do to maintain eye contact with Sam. His face contorted in empathy and then he was gone, too, shuddering over me as his body tightened with each contraction. As he swelled within me, I found my voice. "I love you," I whispered to him as he emptied himself.

When he was finished, he lowered himself to me, sliding a little in the slick of cum I'd coated my belly with, until he softened and slipped from me. I rolled us until we were on our sides, and then leaned into him so that our foreheads touched. "That was another way?" I asked.

His eyes were closed, but he smiled and nodded, his nose bumping into mine. I kissed him and said, "I guess I better think up a few ways to show you, huh?"

He opened his eyes then, pulling back so that he could look at me. "I already know." His face was solemn, his eyes full of the passion and love he felt for me. We looked at each other for a long moment, and then kissed gently, almost tentatively, feeling our way. It was one of those all too rare moments between two people when everything is simply perfect.

The memory of that night would prove to be the only thing that got me through the next few months when our lives changed so drastically.

"Hey, golden boy," I said when I flipped open my phone to Sky's call. "What's up?"

"Who do I call about a case of neglect?" His voice was abrupt.

"A horse? Where are you?"

"Tacony's. Out past Baker's place."

I knew the place. It had been owned by the Henderson clan since before I was born, and they'd been shit-heads for twice that long. I quit doing business with them six months after I took over Castlewood. They had money, but they were never happy with anything, and I finally told them to fuck off and get their horses out of my barn after they fired their third trainer in a month.

"What's the problem?"

"They've got a jumper that broke down, and they left him out to starve, I guess. He's in a back pasture with no water, and he's skin and bones. I'm amazed he's still on his feet. What the fuck is wrong with people?"

I could hear the anger and disgust in his voice. "Let me check with Faith. If he's that bad, we may be able to take him first and have them cited after. I'll call you right back."

Faith said screw the law, let's get the horse and we'll straighten it out later. I wasn't sure that was such a hot idea, but I couldn't stand the thought of the horse out there suffering two more weeks until all the paperwork got done, so I hitched up the small trailer, and we drove off to meet Sky and steal a horse.

Sky had a halter on him and was watering him a little at a time. The horse was in horrible shape, his hip bones jutted out far enough to hang your hat on, and my fingers rippled across his ribs when I ran a hand along his side. His coat was so dull and dirty that I couldn't really tell what color he was, other than brownish. Faith pumped a syringe full of vitamins into him, and we carefully walked him into the trailer. He was a big old thing, close to 17 hands (4 inches to a 'hand'), and would weigh around 1200 pounds at working weight. He loaded quietly and perked up a little when he saw the orchard grass Faith had put in the trailer for him. We drove him slowly back to Castlewood, Faith muttering about fucking assholes, and me contemplating life behind bars for horse rustling, which is practically a hanging offense in Texas.

Cas wandered out of the barn as we unloaded him, and stopped dead with his mouth hanging open. "Cooper?"

Faith and I looked at each other, then at Cas. "You know him?" I asked.

"I think so. Jesus, what the hell happened to him?"

I snorted. "The Taconys happened to him."

"Fuck. They ride 'em into the ground, and then put 'em out back to die. I don't know why they don't just sell them to the butcher and get it over with." He was walking around the horse as he spoke and stopped to look in his mouth. "It's him. He's missing two molars from some dental disaster. He's about 18 now cause I rode him a few times my last year in high school, and he was about 10 then. He was a hell of a jumper. God, what a shame. How did you end up with him?"

I told him about Sky finding him, and our rescue mission. Cas grinned and promised to visit me in prison. "Very funny. Make yourself useful and dump a bag of shavings into the stall next to Cher." We got him settled in, munching hay and getting to know his neighbors.

Since Sky had come over a couple weeks ago, he'd been on my mind off and on, so I pulled him into the tack room and groped him a little, chewing on his neck while he giggled and squirmed. Apparently Cas had been home recently, so Sky was content at the moment, but he was a sweet, affectionate guy, and I kept thinking he could use a boyfriend, someone who was around all the time, and more his own than Adam or Cas were.

Faith did a thorough work up on Cooper, and later that day told me he needed food and vitamins, but was otherwise unharmed by his abandonment. His bowed tendon was another matter, and she said he'd probably never stand up to hard work, but would be a great pleasure horse for some lucky kid.

After a week of steady food and supplements, he was starting to fill in. A week after that he kicked up his heels for the first time when we turned him out to play in the round pen. I smiled as I watched him frolic, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction at having literally saved his life. Faith had pushed the paperwork through, and I now owned him for the abandonment claiming fee of $500. An idea was running around in the back of my head, but wasn't quite done yet, so I pushed it aside and called Adam, catching him between meetings. "Hey, just called to see if you're free tomorrow night. Sam has a gig at the club so I could use some company."

He was silent for so long that I glanced at my phone to make I hadn't lost him. Finally he spoke. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not _doing_ anything. It's been a while, and I'd like to get together."

Another long pause. "Okay. Seven?"

"Nah, come right after work. We'll grill something."

He agreed, and I snapped my cell shut, wondering if we would ever get back to being really comfortable with each other. I told Sam that evening over fettuccini Alfredo. He studied his plate for a moment, then slid his eyes to me and smiled.

"I'm glad. I know you miss him." I nodded and when we finished eating, we sat out by the jungle pool, listening to the frogs down by the creek and sipping Frangelico. When we went up to bed, he made love to me silently, something he hadn't done since moving in, and I wondered about it.

As we settled down to sleep, he said softly in my ear, "Just not here." I nodded. If I did let it progress to that point tomorrow night, I sure as hell wouldn't drag Adam up to our bedroom. "I love you, Dean" he said, and my throat closed with emotion.

"Are you trying for sainthood or something?"

He snorted softly and squeezed my arm. "Hardly. I just trust in what we have enough that I'm not threatened by Adam. You've slept with him for twice as long as you've known me. What's a few more times gonna hurt?"

"Nothing. I guess I'm just uncomfortable because it's not what we agreed to."

"We didn't chisel it in stone, Dean. Real life requires some flexibility. Lighten up."

I was silent for a moment, trying to dredge up the guts to say what was really bothering me. "I'm afraid that because you said this was ok, that maybe you'll be asking me the same thing some day, and I won't want to say yes."

He froze for a moment. Grabbing me by the shoulders, he sat up and gave me a hard shake that clacked my teeth together. "Do you think I'd do that? Hold it over your head later? Don't you know me any fucking better than that by now? God_dam_nit, Dean!"

He pushed me roughly away, jumped out of bed, and was out the door before I could say a word. He had never been angry at me before, and the bottom dropped out of my stomach as he left the room. A few minutes later, I went downstairs on shaky legs and found him in the den, curled on the sofa with his hands between his knees. His eyes were dark and angry as he watched me cross the room.

"You hurt me," he said quietly as I sank down on the floor near him. "I've never given you cause to think that I'd trade on a favor like that. Why did you say that? And it's not even a favor, for Christ's sake."

"I don't know. Sam, I'm sorry." I wrapped my hand hesitantly around his leg, rubbing my thumb in the soft hollow of his ankle. "I'm just a little insecure, I guess. God knows why, since this is the best we've ever been." I shrugged. "Maybe that's it. I'm afraid it's too good to be true. Waiting for the bubble to burst." As my voice petered out at the end, he reached out a lean brown arm and pulled me up to him, rolling onto his back as I lowered my weight onto him.

"Ah, Baby, nothing's gonna burst." The warmth of his hand on the back of my neck was like a tonic, and I burrowed into him. "Have a little more faith in me, in us. It would take a hell of a lot more than a couple rolls in the hay with Adam to even put a ding in our relationship, at least for me. We're solid. You _know_ that, right?"

I nodded, close to tears. I pulled the quilt over us, and we settled down there on the couch, kissing a little and comforting each other. In eight years, we'd never even argued, so this was a big deal, and it had shaken us both. Maria found us there in the morning, squeezing my shoulder gently. "Dean, time to get up."

I thanked her, and we went up to shower, holding hands, and I caught his eyes on me several times as we dressed and ate. I walked him to the car and kissed him lingeringly. "I love you."

He smiled at me and ran his hand inside the collar of my shirt to grip my bare shoulder. "I know you do."

I rode Xia to the barn, thinking about the previous night. The fact that we had had our first argument now, _after_ getting together, just made me understand how important we had become to each other in a short time.

That afternoon I got a call from JD's attorney, a bearded man named Robert Singer. I spoke with him now and then about matters regarding Castlewood, but since we were self-sufficient financially, we mostly just rolled along on our own, with weeks going by when I didn't speak to him or JD. He asked me to come to his office tomorrow, saying only that it was very important and couldn't wait. I agreed immediately, wondering what in the world was up. The only thing that came to mind was that JD wanted to sell Castlewood or something equally awful, and a small knot of uneasiness settled into the pit of my stomach.

Adam made it over by 6. He knocked on the door, something he never did, so I trotted down the hall from the kitchen to open it, giving him a warm hug and a kiss, and taking the bottle of wine he'd brought. He was a little stiff with me, which I ignored, prattling on about my day, telling him a silly story about Zane getting tossed off a frisky new colt, and then getting covered in cow shit while trying to move the steers from one pasture to another. He finally chuckled and we headed out to the pool. I dropped my drawers and leaped in, figuring I had to set the tone for the evening. It took him a couple minutes, but soon he yanked my foot from below, almost drowning me in the process since I'd been inhaling at the time. I came up choking and blue in the face. He grabbed me in alarm, dragging me to the steps, and pounding on my back. I finally gagged up some water, and collapsed across his knees. He clutched me to him, panicky, his arms shaking.

"Jesus, Dean! Fuck! Are you okay? Sam'll kill me if you're dead."

I nodded weakly and squeezed his leg. As I struggled to sit up, he supported me with his arm, and we leaned back against the steps. We sat there until I was breathing normally, then climbed out of the pool and flopped in a chaise lounge together, me between his legs on my side against his chest. He ran his hand protectively up and down my arm, patting me now and then.

"I'm alright," I assured him. We rested a little longer, then grilled burgers and ate while he told me about work. The senior partner was a dickhead, inept and arrogant, and Adam was thinking of updating his resume and moving on to something more rewarding, maybe his own practice.

We cleaned up dinner and wandered back to the house, ending up in the den, our usual haunt, bringing along the Ben & Jerry's he'd brought. I'd thought a good deal about whether or not I'd have sex with him, but didn't have to decide after all. We curled up with the ice cream, and he fed us both as I channel surfed for something worth watching. I was sighing in frustration when he spoke.

"Dean?" His voice was tentative and I glanced at him. He was staring into the ice cream container.

"Yeah?"

"Would you do something for me?"

"Of course, if I can."

"I don't wanna fuck."

My eyebrows rose. That wasn't what I had expected. "Ohhh-kaaay."

"I want to watch you." His eyes slid to mine, then away.

My eyebrows dropped into a frown. "Watch me . . . ?"

A flush rose up his neck. "You know. . . "

My eyebrows shot back up again. "You wanna watch me jack off?"

He nodded, memorizing the inside of the ice cream carton. "Like when we were kids."

I started to smile then. Watching each other masturbate was the first sexual activity I'd ever had with another person. God, those were great orgasms. We had no control at all, blasting cum all over the place after seven strokes or something ridiculous, but they were wildly intense, partly because it was such a naughty thing to be doing, but also because someone was watching. I poked him in the side with my finger, and he finally looked at me.

"Okay, but you have to do it, too."

He smiled back, nodding. I grabbed the ice cream from him and set it on the coffee table, reaching into the drawer for the handy little bottle of lube. I keep them all over the house. You just never know when you might need one. I turned his hand over and poured a puddle into his palm, then dribbled some over my hardening dick. We leaned back against opposite ends of the couch, our legs stretched out between us. I started to stroke myself loosely, enjoying the sensation of my warm hand and all that lube. Adam was fondling his balls with one hand, rolling his cock back and forth between his thumb and fingers, moving his foreskin up over the head now and then.

The sight of his cock in his own hand was familiar and exciting, bringing back all sorts of memories of us over the years. We took our time getting to the finish line, slowing now and then to watch each other as we'd get close, then back away. I rubbed the sole of my foot along the inside of his thigh, enjoying the play of his muscles as they tightened with the movement of his hips. Watching him pull up firmly, milking fat shiny drops of precum from his slit sent me past the point of no return, and I came hard, grunting and growling as I showered my belly with cum. Adam watched me until I quit shuddering and could open my eyes enough to see him. He locked eyes with me for a moment, then looked down at my cock, took three quick strokes and climaxed. I watched his legs tense as he shot one long stream after another. He had always shot further than me, and tonight was no exception. By the time he was finished, cum dripped from his cheek and ran in rivulets down his chest.

We grinned at each other, and wiped up with napkins from the ice cream. He pushed me down on the couch, squeezing my cock gently and kissing me. "I'm sorry I was such an asshole out there in the woods. I really _was_ happy for you, but I thought it meant I'd lose you somehow. I know that's not gonna happen now."

He got dressed, and I walked him to the door where he gave me a deep, wet kiss that curled my toes. "Tell Sam that one's for him." I laughed, and watched him drive away before I closed the door.

Vincent came home a couple hours later and eyed me. "Well?"

"Nothing happened, we just beat off. Oh, and he left this for you." I duplicated Sam's kiss, which he returned eagerly.

"You jerked each other off?" he asked curiously.

"No, I never touched him. I think he was re-playing our first encounter or something. It was fun, but it made me horny for the real deal." I'd been rubbing against him while I spoke, and was rewarded with a bigger bulge in his white chef's trousers. "Did you bring me home a big Italian salami?" I teased as I squeezed his cock.

He grinned, shaking his head at my foolishness, and yanked his pants down to his thighs, allowing his impressive erection to sway out from his stomach. "Yes, honey, I did, and you have to eat it all at once."

I dropped to my knees and lowered my mouth down onto him, causing him to tense for a moment and groan with pleasure. He fisted both hands in my hair and I sucked him till he was close, then tugged his pants back up, grabbed him by the hand, and practically ran him up the stairs. We undressed on the way down the hall, and grabbed each other the minute we hit the bed, neither of us in the mood for preliminaries.

We fucked.

Sorry, Chris, there was no 'making love' about it. We licked and bit, probed and pounded, pinched, stroked, and sucked until we both reached noisy, intense climaxes. We hadn't done that since he'd moved in, and it was great. Gentle and tender is wonderful, and I prefer it as a steady diet, but sometimes I just want to be mauled, and Sam had been rough enough to make me come like a freight train. I could feel bruises starting on my hip and wrists, there was a bite mark on my shoulder that had broken the skin, and I knew my throbbing ass would remind me of tonight for the next couple days.

I felt wonderful.

The next morning I was a little early for my meeting with Robert Singer, but his secretary showed me right in. He came around the desk to greet me, continuing to hold my hand as we sat down on the sofa. "I have some bad news," he said softly. "JD is dead."

I looked at him, my mouth hanging open, trying to get his words to make sense. JD dead? I'd spoken to him not a week ago when I called him regarding some work he was having done on his house. Robert was quiet, letting me absorb the news.

"Jesus, what happened?"

"He had a heart attack in his sleep yesterday morning, early. He'd had a heart condition for years, and this was not unexpected."

Well, it sure as hell was 'unexpected' to me! I sat there blinking, trying to think through the implications of JD no longer being the owner of Castlewood. God knows what this would mean to me, my employees, and the horses who resided there.

"Dean. I need to explain some things to you. Are you all right?" He rose and went behind his desk, arranging several file folders neatly in front of him. I nodded at him, and tried to pull myself together. I was remembering JD's kindness to me after my accident, the several good months we had spent together prior to that, his confidence in allowing me to run Castlewood as I saw fit. Now it was all over. I shook my head, blew out a breath, and concentrated on Robert.

"You're aware, I believe, that JD had no close family. He revised his will five years ago, and has not touched it since. Accordingly, his considerable financial assets will be distributed to a variety of charitable organizations that were dear to JD's heart."

"Two years ago, he took steps to ensure that Castlewood Equine Estate was paid off completely. I have the deed in my possession." Robert shuffled some papers, holding one up for my inspection. "The land and buildings, including his home, are free and clear of any holds, liens, or encumbrances. These tangible assets have been left to a single individual." He paused and raised his eyes to me. "That individual would be you, Dean. Castlewood and all its contents and holdings, including the current balances of the various bank accounts associated with it, belong to you in their entirety."

My mouth had dropped open again, and I gaped at him, unable to process so much information at once.

"Me?" I said stupidly.

"Yes. It shouldn't be such a surprise. JD was very fond of you, and felt that Castlewood would continue to prosper under your stewardship, as it has for the past seven years. I must say that I agreed with his decision." He smiled at me again, and I wondered what it must be like to change lives with the creation of a mere sheet of paper.

"I have a number of documents for you to sign, if you're able. It will take about 30 days for the transfer of ownership to take effect. I will be trustee during that time, but have no intention of interfering in the operation of Castlewood. Oh, the Gulfstream 150 that JD flew everywhere is owned by Castlewood, so it is now at your disposal, as well. As am I, Dean. This is a lot to absorb in one sitting, and I want you to know that you can always come to me for assistance with this, or any legal matters."

I shook my head. "I don't know what to say. I can't believe JD is gone, let alone that he left the stable to me."

"We will all miss JD; he was a good man. Enjoy his gift as he would have wanted you to." He turned a thick file folder toward me, and began to direct me through the signing of about 50 pages of legal papers, real estate documents, bank account signature forms, and I don't know what else. I quit trying to figure out what they were, and just signed where he told me to.

By the time I left his office, it was beginning to sink in. I was sad that JD was gone. During our time together, he had been a considerate, if unimaginative, lover, always generous and kind to me. I was thrilled that I owned Castlewood, and I was also filled with a huge sense of responsibility that the welfare of 12 employees and 32 horses was now completely on my shoulders. I drove home on auto pilot, changing from dress slacks and button down to breeches and polo shirt, then drove slowly to the stable. I sat in the car next to the office for so long that Bella finally came out and walked around to lean down and look in my window.

"Dean, what in the world is wrong? You're pale as a ghost."

I stared at her, trying to formulate coherent thoughts. "Is everyone here today?" She nodded. "Good. I want a full staff meeting at noon. Order lunch from the deli." She nodded again, curiosity all over her face, but I got out of the car and shut myself in my office, making notes for the meeting.

A few minutes before noon, Bella knocked on the door and stuck her head in. "It's almost noon. I set it up in the stallion barn so we'd have enough room for everyone." The stallion barn wasn't in use at the moment, since we didn't have any stallions on the premises and didn't need the space for other horses.

All faces turned to me when I came through the big door, and I looked around at the people I'd worked with for years. Bellla had put hay bales in a big U in the barn aisle. James and Ernesto were sitting thigh to thigh on the closest one, eating sandwiches. I smiled at James, remembering how I'd hired him 13 years ago, on the day I'd signed my first rider contract and decided to splurge on my very own groom. He looked back curiously, trustingly, and I felt the weight of responsibility settle a little more heavily onto my shoulders.

"JD Morgan, the owner of Castlewood, died of a heart attack yesterday morning," I told them in a solemn voice. "The details of the service are still being arranged, but everyone can go, if you like, without losing any hours. Figure it out with Bella." I gave them a few moments to think about that, seeing concern for themselves on most faces. Only a few long timers had known JD well, and were staring at the ground or talking to each other quietly as they responded to the news of his death.

"JD left Castlewood to me. I'm now the owner." I stopped, watching comprehension replace apprehension on most faces. "For now, it's business as usual. But I do plan to make some changes. Please think about what you do around here, what your day consists of, and be ready to discuss it with me in detail in a week or two. That's it for now. Enjoy your lunch."

I left the barn before anyone could corner me with questions, and drove to Stiva's. Sam was maitre'd today and was seating a party of four when I came in. I watched him as he pulled out chairs for the women, made menu suggestions, and squeezed the shoulder of one man as he walked back toward the entry. He looked good in his pleated black trousers and crisp white shirt, his sable hair waving softly over his collar. He didn't see me until he was close, glancing up with a professional smile that melted first into the real thing, then changed quickly to alarm. "Dean, what're you doing here in the middle of the day? Is something wrong?"

"Can you take a minute?" He waved a waiter over, and guided me by the elbow to the quiet office next to the kitchen. He turned to face me the instant he closed the door.

"Everything okay?" His eyes searched my face.

"Just hug me," I told him, stepping close to put my arms around him, pressing my face into his neck, letting the familiar comfort of his embrace soothe me. I pulled him down onto the sofa and told him about my meeting with Robert. When I was finished, he stared at me for a moment.

"Jesus, Dean, you've had quite a morning." He hugged me again. "Did you eat yet?" When I shook my head, he went to the desk, spoke quickly into the phone, then came back and pulled me up by the hand. "Come on."

We went to one of the small private dining alcoves tucked here and there around the restaurant, where our lunch was just being set out. We ate and talked, and gradually I became comfortable with the idea that Castlewood now belonged to me. Owning a large stable was not something I'd ever given any thought to, but now that I had one, I found myself thinking of it in new ways. We finished eating and I felt like I could cope again, so I kissed Sam goodbye and drove back to Castlewood, stopping in surprise just inside the main gate as a smile spread across my face.

Ernesto and James were just putting the finishing touches on a change to the large sign. One of the lower lines now read: Dean Winchester - Owner/Operator. A bit premature perhaps, since poor JD wasn't even in the ground yet, but it filled me with a sense of pride and ownership, and eased a bit of the ache of knowing JD was gone. I got out of the car and walked over to them, putting an arm around each of their shoulders, admiring their handiwork. My chest tightened and my voice wobbled a little when I spoke, but I didn't care. It was an emotional day.

"Thank you," I said, pulling them close to me. "I really needed that." We gazed in silence at the sign for a few minutes; then I hugged them again, got back in the car. I drove slowly up the long lane, looking at the beautiful old stone buildings, and the miles of sparkling white fences, as if I'd never seen them before it all belonged to me.

We had a wonderful summer. Sam and I just got better and better. There was so much more to living with someone than I had imagined when I asked him to move in. Some of it was silly stuff, like clothes. It gave Maria fits trying to keep it all of them straight. When she first started doing our joint laundry, she'd sort it by what she knew to be my clothes, but after while, she got confused and finally gave up entirely. She hung all shirts in one closet, all pants in another and did the same in the two big dressers a drawer for socks, one for underwear, another for t-shirts. It turned out to be a great system and shaved some time off getting dressed in the morning. That extra five minutes is all you need for a quick blow job.

We fell into an easy pattern of getting ready in the morning, rolling out of bed early to run, showering together, eating a quick breakfast on the patio, then a goodbye kiss as he went out the front door to his car and I ran down to the barn to saddle Xia.

We usually checked in with each other during the day to finalize dinner plans or social invitations, like the one from Chris and Zane a few weeks after the pool party. I hadn't realized it, but Chris hadn't fucked around with Sam since before he and Zane got together four years ago, and Zane had never been with him. Turns out Zane had been somewhat taken by Sam at the birthday party and wanted to get together with us.

I called Sam. "Hey, stud, we've been invited to Chris and Zane's for an evening of 'socializing.'" I emphasized the last word and he was silent for a moment.

"Yeah? Whaddaya think?"

I tried to gauge his interest from his voice, but couldn't read him one way or the other. "I'm up for it if you are. They're fun to be with and apparently Zane liked what he saw of you at the pool party."

"He saw all of me."

"Yes, I believe that was his point exactly," I said dryly.

He chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, okay. When?"

"Saturday." We talked another couple of minutes, and then I called Chris back with a yes. He told me to make Zane's day by letting him know when he showed up at the barn. I kept an eye out for him and when I saw his truck pull in, I angled over to intercept him on the way to the south barn. He looked good slouching along in his old Wranglers and a beat up pair of Tony Lamas with a straw hat shading his face.

"Hey, cowboy. We're on for Saturday."

"Awright." he said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "Y'okay with that?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Well, ya'll only been together couple months. Sometimes it takes a spell for the honeymoon to wear off."

"We've been together eight years, one way or another. Anyway, it'll be fun. Sam's incredible in bed."

"Yeah, you been lookin' mighty satisfied lately. Figured it must be his doin'." I followed him into the tack room and wasn't surprised when he curled a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me to him for a wet, lusty kiss. "Ah been missin' you." He kissed me again, ran his hand down from my neck to pinch my left nipple lightly, and turned to get his roping saddle off the rack.

I haltered Cher for him, put her in the cross ties, adjusted myself, and went off to ride one of Abby's new jumpers, a five-year-old with plenty of ability, but a short attention span. We worked over three foot fences until he began to get the idea that I was the one calling the shots. My cell phone rang as I was handing him off to one of the boys.

"Dean!" Chloe sounded frantic and I wondered if something had happened to one of the horses she was campaigning this season.

"Chloe!" I hollered back at her. "Something wrong?"

"Goddamn right something's wrong!" Chloe had married into one of Houston's oldest oil families and remade herself from a girl from the wrong side of the tracks into a society belle. She had the clothes, the hair, the car, and the house, but she also still had the mouth she'd grown up with and she cursed like a sailor.

"Simon broke his motherfucking leg!" Simon was her rider, the guy who currently had her horses standing 3rd and 6th on the circuit. Top notch riders don't grow on trees so this was a disaster.

"Jesus, what happened?"

"He fell off the cocksucking horse, what else?"

I smothered a laugh and gave up, figuring I could get the details later. "Okay, so you want me to try to find you someone else? Let me call -"

"No!" She cut me off. "I want you!"

I was speechless for a moment. "Me? Chloe, I haven't ridden competitively in years."

"I don't care. You know the horses and you ride all the time. You used to be great. And you owe me half a season. Pleeease?"

I closed my eyes for a second and imagined galloping around the arena, soaring over 6 foot spreads like I had wings. I had loved riding jumpers for a living and was surprised by how much I wanted to say yes, but I had Sam now, the stable to run, too much to do.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let me make a few calls. If I can't find you someone really good, I'll think about it."

"Thank you! I knew you'd do it."

"I'm not doing anything yet. I'll call you when I know something."

It was all I could think about the rest of the day. Chloe was offering me another chance. The season was about 3/4 over and Simon's leg wouldn't heal that quickly. That meant seven or eight events, all over the country, unless I could find her someone else, but the chances of that were slim. Thanks to Sam's insistence that I continue my shoulder exercises, it was stronger than ever and I had no doubt that it would hold up for a few months of competitive riding. It meant lots of traveling, being away from Castlewood and Sam for long weekends. But, God, I really wanted to do it.

Sam found me on the patio, staring off at the distant tree line with a forgotten glass of wine dangling from one hand. "Earth to Dean. Hello."

I glanced up with a start. "Sorry, I was thinking. Hi, babe." I stood and hugged him, enjoying the feel of his hard body pressing into mine.

"About what?" He sat down next to me, taking my free hand in his.

I blew out a breath. "An offer Chloe made me." I told him about it, gazing out across the pasture as I spoke, not looking at him until I finished. He was watching me closely, his intense eyes roaming over my face.

"Don't call around. Do it. Call her back and say yes." He squeezed my hand for emphasis.

"Are you sure? I'd be gone a lot."

"She has a jet, right?"

"Yes . . . "

"Good. Take me along. I haven't traveled much and I'd get to see you ride. But no crashing, I don't want to go through that again."

"Jesus, neither do I. You really wanna go?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I? We'd be together, I'd get to see some more of the country, and I'd get to watch you do something you love, second only to me." He smiled as he spoke. It was true; it had been taken away from me and I'd never looked back because it had been too painful. I hadn't even watched the handful of events that were televised each year.

I looked at him. "I really want to do it."

"I know you do, Dean. You should see your face when you talk about it. Call her." He let go of my hand and pushed it toward the cell on my belt. I watched him as the call connected and he smiled when he heard Chloe whoop at the other end. When I flipped my phone shut, he stood. "Come on, I'm hungry."

We ate and went down to the jungle pool to float around 'til bed time. "When's the next event and what do you have to do to get ready?" he asked.

"Early September. Luckily there's a three week break right now. I need all new clothes, I guess. New boots and hard hat. All my old stuff got used up around the barn over the years. I'll have to see if my saddle is okay. Polish my spurs. I'll need to start riding another couple hours a day. That shouldn't be a problem with Abby's new horses here now. I'll have to get James more dialed in to run the stable while I'm gone, and maybe hire another trainer."

"Isn't this what Cas does? You'll be riding against him, right?"

"Huh, yeah. I hadn't even thought of that. That'll be weird."

Later in bed he asked me the thing that I'd been asking myself since Chloe's call. "Do you think you're competitive? With the people riding now, I mean?"

I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling with a sigh. "I think so. I was pretty damn good before I got hurt and the game hasn't changed a whole lot in seven years. I guess maybe my reactions might be a little slower but I have a lot more experience now. I don't know." I rolled back to him. "Will you still love me even if I don't win?"

He climbed onto me, pinning me with his full weight. "I will always love you, even if you're a loser."

I laughed and bucked hard, trying to unload him but he hung on and our struggle became rough foreplay when he grabbed my wrists and held on tight as he forced his leg between mine, shoving his stiff penis down between my legs and stroking hard beneath my balls. As the sensations became more intense, I quit fighting against him and fought instead to get my leg out from under his so I could raise it. When he let go of my arms I reached down and grabbed his ass in both hands, pulling him tight against me. We thrust quickly until he pushed off me and turned around, throwing a leg over me so that his cock dropped into my waiting mouth. He pulled my legs back, sucked my balls for a moment, then ran his tongue down to my asshole and dove in. I shoved a pillow behind my head and followed suit.

I used to get distracted 69ing, slacking off on my end of things when it got to feeling too good, but over the years, I learned to channel what I was feeling into what I was doing, and now it's one of my favorite things. I closed my eyes and tuned into the motions of his tongue, the long glides, the short hard thrusts, the sounds. Now and then he'd bite me and my cock lurched hard with each nip. Some time later, he pulled away from me, re-positioned himself, grabbed my ankles and pushed his dick into me abruptly enough to make me gasp. He slowed the minute he was in, watching me closely. I pulled him down and kissed him roughly, biting his lip and shoving my tongue down his throat. He began to pump quickly, his balls banging into my ass with every thrust. I continued to ravage his mouth as I grabbed my dick and started stroking hard. We both finished quickly, me a little ahead of him. As I tugged a 3rd shot out of my tingling nuts, Sam took several short strokes just barely inside me, groaning with each one, and I felt his cock throb as he climaxed.

He dropped down onto me, still twitching, and sighed deeply. "Christ, that was good. I wonder why some times are so much stronger than others. If we could bottle it, we'd be millionaires."

"Honey, we already are millionaires," I reminded him.

"You might be. I'm just a meatball chef."

I lay there for a second, then pushed him off me and sat up. We had never discussed money and I'd been meaning to tell him something, but was unsure how he'd take it. "No, you're a millionaire, too. As of last Friday."

He stared at me, then narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"

"Several things. I had Robert revise my will; you're a major beneficiary now, along with my folks and a few other people. I opened a joint checking account for us with a starting balance of $50k. All the paperwork and the checks are in your office. I also had him add you to the Castlewood bank accounts. You have to sign some forms and signature cards." I paused for effect. "And I had Chris transfer a million dollars worth of stocks into your name, with your parents as beneficiaries."

"Jesus, Dean. Why?"

"Well, I have a lot more money than you and I don't want it to be an issue between us, so I just made the playing field a little more level."

"Our relationship isn't about money." His voice was beginning to sound angry.

"Relax, for Christ's sake. I know it's not. But I wanted to do it. It's one of the few things I can do for you that can have a real impact on your life. It's for my peace of mind, too. Money can be a real problem in a relationship, especially when there's a big difference in who has it and who doesn't. I don't care what the fuck you do with it. You can give it all to charity if you want. Please take it in the spirit I meant it." I tipped his chin up so that he met my eyes. "Please." We looked at each other for a long moment, me willing him to understand, and him looking first defiant, then bewildered. Finally his face dissolved into a reluctant smile.

"I'm really a millionaire?"

"Yup. Wanna go look at the papers?" His smile got wider, so I pulled him off the bed and down the hall to his desk, where I handed him the stock transfer confirmation with his name as the account holder. He looked it over, his smile a toothy grin now.

"Fuck!" He looked at me. "I don't know what to say. 'Thank you' doesn't quite seem to cover it, somehow."

I laughed at him. "You're welcome. And one more thing, I got the hots for a new car, so I thought we'd go shopping Saturday. Whaddaya say? Ready to trade in that pile you're driving?"

His eyes lit up. "Oh, God, I saw a black BMW the other day that made my dick hard. Really?"

"Yes, baby, really. Come on." We crawled back into bed and I fell asleep to the sight of Sam staring at the ceiling with a big smile on his face.

We spent Saturday doing the car dealerships, coming away with a black BMW M convertible for Sam and a dark grey Lexus SC 430 for me. I figured the owner of a stable as upscale as Castlewood couldn't drive around in a beater pick up anymore. We stopped for lunch on the way back, admiring our new rides in the parking lot of the restaurant. Sam hadn't quit grinning since we drove away from the dealership and could barely stand to go in and eat. We switched cars for the rest of the drive so we could see how our own looked rolling down the road. We spent the afternoon playing in the pool and wandering into the garage every now and then to grin like teenagers at our cool new cars.

In the late afternoon, we went inside to get cleaned up for our evening with Zane and Chris. Sam was lathering up in the shower when I climbed in with him. "I'll do that," I said, taking the razor from him. I sat on the bench and carefully shaved from the base of his dick on back, leaving a tidy patch above his cock. That was the first time I had shaved him and it was hot; I was hard the whole time. Evidently he thought so too, trading places with me eagerly. He started to play but I stopped him, wanting to save it for tonight.

Chris hollered from the back yard when he heard us pull in. They met us at the gate and I hugged them both. Sam hugged Chris, then turned to Zane who stepped close to him, leaned in and kissed him on the mouth.

Chris laughed and rolled his eyes. "God, Zane, don't be shy." Zane smiled but didn't take his eyes off Sam for a moment.

We got beers and sat around watching Zane grill steaks. Dinner was leisurely as we chatted. Our shopping trip came up so we all trooped out front to inspect Sam's Beemer while he tried not to smile too much. You'd think he'd designed the damn thing himself, but I knew he was just thrilled. The restaurants turned a decent profit but he would never have splurged on a car like this. I loved seeing how happy he was with it.

After dinner, we played in the pool for a while. Zane was the first to lose his suit, tossing it out onto the concrete, then swimming over to Sam and helping him off with his. I watched Sam's face as Zane grabbed the edge of the pool on either side of him. He smiled as Zane closed in, opening his mouth to Zane's tongue, and through the blue shimmer of the water I saw Sam's hand close around Zane's hard cock, making my own dick lurch as if he'd grabbed me. As they deepened the kiss, Sam's eyes dropped closed, as I had watched them do so many times when he kissed me.

I looked away to find Chris watching me and I gave him a half smile. He reached down a hand to haul me out of the pool, wrapped a brawny arm around my shoulders and pulled me down onto a chaise, out of the line of sight to Zane and Sam. He pushed me flat and lay half on me, one muscular thigh between mine, studying my face for a moment before kissing me hungrily. It took a minute, but the affectionate warmth of him eased me and I began to return the kiss, sucking his tongue into my mouth. Chris's big hand worked its way slowly across my chest, thumbing my nipple to hardness, tugging it gently until I broke the kiss to arch my head back with a groan and grind my dick up into his leg. His cock hardened against my hip as he returned the pressure and I reached for him, running the heel of my hand firmly down his erection until I had a handful of balls. Chris exhaled with an 'uhhh' against my neck and rolled his pelvis into my hand several times before glancing over his shoulder.

Zane had maneuvered Sam over to the pool steps and was hanging onto his knees with Sam's cock down his throat. Chris sat up, pulling me with him and gave me a little push. I went to them and sat behind Sam, rubbing his chest and hugging him to me so I could stroke my stiff prick up his back. He wrapped his arms around my legs and leaned back into me while I watched Zane blow him. I put a hand on Zane's head, sliding my fingers through his wet, wavy hair; feeling him move up and down on Sam. My earlier mood was gone. I knew Zane and Chris were as committed to each other as Sam and I were. This evening was for fun; our lives together were for keeps. At that moment, Sam tipped his head back to kiss me, moaning into my mouth as he came in Zane's fist.

After that we took it inside and soon Zane was bent over the back of the couch as Sam knelt behind him, giving him the full treatment. If Zane could have managed to open his eyes, he would have seen Chris sucking me slowly on the couch. Chris is a buff guy, all mounds of muscle. I always feel a little overwhelmed by Chris; not in a negative sense, but there's just so much of him. I can barely get my arms around his shoulders and his meaty ass fills my spread hands. By the time Sam stood up and slid his cock into an almost delirious Zane, Chris was lifting my ass into his lap to do the same to me. Chris had a dick the size of Sam's so I was enjoying myself and had to assume Sam was as well. He groaned harshly as Sam entered him, then reached down to take my cock in one hand, stroking slowly.

Group sex is a lot different than just the two of you; not just more things to play with, but the whole experience. I probably think about it too much, but I find it really exciting as a change of pace. Unfamiliar moans, different ways of being touched than what you're used to. Knowing Sam was nearby, but not with me, was also arousing, despite my moment in the pool. I know some people have a hard time with that concept, but we know where our hearts are and who they belong to, no matter who we're with, and the sight of him doing Zane contributed as much to my rock hard erection as did Chris's cock sucking techniques. Anyway, it all usually adds up to a ball buster of a first orgasm for me and tonight was no exception.

Sam grinned at me for a quick second, then ducked his head, tilted his hips, and got serious about making Zane suffer. I could tell from the look of concentration on Sam's face and the almost painful intensity on Zane's, that Zane's prostate was getting a workout. Zane trembled repeatedly as he got closer, hanging onto the back of the couch with a death grip. Sam angled down a little more, changed to short quick thrusts, and that was the end of Zane. He came in long ropey streams of cum, impressive as any porn star, crying out with each burst. Sam stuck with him until Zane collapsed over the back of the couch, then he slid free and walked around to put one knee on the cushion behind Chris.

He poured some lube over Chris's ass, buried a finger briefly, then worked his way in quickly. Chris stopped moving in me while he adjusted to Sam's presence. Sam stroked quickly a few times to get things working, then Chris resumed fucking me. Chris moved between us, into me, back onto Sam. It took us a moment to get the rhythm going but once it was right, Chris began a constant sound that started as a low moan but worked up to a mid-range 'ahh.. ahh.. ahh' that got higher as he got closer. I've never been the middle guy in a chain fuck, but being on the receiving end was great. Sam starting moving harder, forcing Chris down onto me and in deeper. I was getting fucked by Chris, but I knew that every time he plowed into me, Sam was the driving force. It was wildly arousing and I had to fight like crazy to hold off 'til we were all ready.

After what seemed like forever, Chris reached his limit, pulled out of me and grabbed our cocks in one huge fist. He had a good touch and I started to shoot immediately, arching back into the pillows as I unloaded in several big spurts, which all landed well up my stomach and felt like a gallon's worth. Sam kept pumping until Chris was finished, pulled out and stepped next to me so that he could come on my stomach, which he did with bared teeth, growling his way through it, his face twisted with the intensity of his orgasm. Zane was still hanging over the back of the couch with a bird's eye view and grinned at us as we panted and gasped. We cleaned up, then jumped in the pool for another hour.

This time Chris took Zane's hand and mine and led us back into the house; I grabbed Vincent on the way by and he slid a hand down my ass to goose me, grinning when I gave a little shriek and hopped out of his reach. Inside I pushed Chris down on the couch and knelt on the floor between his feet, taking his hardening dick into my mouth. Zane lay down on his back on the floor and slid under me to do the same. Sam climbed onto the couch with Chris, kissing him and rubbing his nipples while he kept the other hand on my head, ruffling softly through my hair as I blew Chris. After a bit, Sam pushed me off him and took over. Zane was still sucking me so I pulled out for a quick second, turned around above him and sunk my mouth down onto his cock. It didn't take us long, especially when Sam reached down from the couch and poked a slick finger up my ass. Zane and I came pretty close together, sucked each other dry, and collapsed on the floor.

When Chris got close, Sam straddled him, wrapping both his hands around their cocks, holding them together as he thrust in and out of his grip, fucking his hands and Chris's cock. Chris lasted about six strokes in Sam's fists, then erupted in a geyser of cum, groaning deep in his big chest and gripping Sam's thighs with white knuckles. Sam let himself go as soon as Chris started to shoot, pumping his way through a short but hard climax that left him shaking. He stood up, laughing weakly and wobbled back a couple steps, bending over to put his hands on his knees, breathing hard. "That's three. I'm finished." A drop of sweat fell from his chin as I got up and went to him. He straightened and wrapped his arms around me, still trembling a little.

When we staggered out the door a while later, there were weary but sincere hugs and kisses all around. We drove home, showered quickly, and passed out.

In the morning I reached half heartedly for Sam, not the least bit put out when he mumbled, "I don't think I can." I laughed and rolled over for another hour. With the Gran Prix right around the corner, I needed my beauty sleep anyway.

Monday afternoon I began talking with every Castlewood employee, one by one, getting a feel for them and the jobs they did, evaluating them with an owner's eye. I asked their thoughts on how we did things, their suggestions for improvements. There were some good ideas and I made a lot of notes that week, in preparation for the day Robert told me the transfer was complete.

I wanted to expand our range of operations and use the four barns more efficiently. The main barn, which held twenty-four horses, was almost always full. The south barn had stalls for twelve horses; it currently held only three of Zane's horses, plus Xia and Cooper. The 12-stall mare motel was for pregnant mares but Castlewood wasn't a breeding facility any longer so it could become a general purpose barn. We had a few stallions but they didn't need a 6-stall barn to themselves.

I didn't care for the lack of tolerance one riding discipline typically had for another, the way the dressage people had looked down on Zane when he first moved in here, and I wanted to add some western stuff to our curriculum. I thought Zane might be agreeable to doing some reining seminars, and since JD's house was now empty, maybe have people stay for long weekends. It was big enough for eight people at two to a room. I'd just need another cook/housekeeper and made a note to check with Maria about that.

Zane's daddy, Davis, was a hugely popular rodeo figure who would draw great crowds if we could get him here a couple times a year. Team penning and roping were also possibilities since we already had the steers and chutes. We'd need more bleachers around all the arenas, a larger designated area to park truck/trailer rigs for people who brought their own horses, and some sort of meeting room with kitchen facilities.

Faith wanted to host a series of horse care seminars, everything from recognizing the early stages of colic to emergency techniques. The local horse folks still called on her now and then when something happened that they couldn't cope with. Bella had an idea for a workshop to help backyard horse owners use their money more wisely, tricks we used around Castlewood to get more bang for our buck.

I was toying with the idea of building a show facility, a nice place for one day or weekend shows. Other than ShawPark, which was huge, there weren't any other really nice places. There were a few small ones with ratty barns, no place to eat, and rocky arenas; so it seemed there was a need for a good show facility. Castlewood was down a ¾ mile lane from the main road so we had a big chunk of land out front that would be perfect.

I also wanted to have a big open house after the change of ownership was final and we'd had a chance to spruce things up a bit. All the wood on the buildings and fences was due for painting or staining; the concrete barn floors needed to be stripped, scrubbed and sealed again; trees needed to be trimmed, pastures re-seeded; etc, etc, etc. I planned to make it a big event with a sit-down brunch for prospective clients and have Sam cater it. I was just full of ideas.

I called Ernesto and James in to discuss getting started on the clean-up part and they were excited about the open house, catching some of my enthusiasm in making Castlewood better. Bella reported that the bank accounts were in great shape, clients paying on time, no deadbeats at the moment. We weren't a cheap barn. It cost the better part of two thousand dollars a month to keep a horse here on a full training schedule, and that didn't include vet or farrier bills. Xia and Cooper didn't pay rent but everyone else did, so our gross income was healthy, and I knew I could trim expenses here and there. Bella had managed to secure a better deal on hay after the moldy alfalfa fiasco and we could probably get the per bale price down even lower with more horses to feed.

One place I wasn't willing to skimp was wages so I got a current payroll list from Bella and went over it carefully. We had twelve employees James, Ernesto, Bella, and Faith, plus six guys and two girls who worked jointly for James and Ernesto, rotating through all the various tasks every six months so that everyone knew how to cover for everyone else, if necessary. Each employee had two days a week off, working one weekend a month, again on a rotating schedule.

By Wednesday, I felt pretty confidant that I could make some positive changes in the way we did things that would benefit everyone and liven things up a little. Knowing I could do whatever I wanted was very liberating. JD had always agreed to my ideas, but I'd still had to run things by him and get his approval. Now, as sole owner, if I wanted to, I could paint all the buildings pink, and make Daisy Dukes and tank tops the official Castlewood uniform, but luckily for all of us, the stuff I wanted to do made a lot more sense.

I went home to Sam that night content with life.

JD's memorial service was held on a hot morning at graveside in a cemetery in town. I knew a few of the large crowd of people, but most were strangers to me, and I realized that I had been a very small part of JD's life for a very short time, but a good part, I hoped. I did recognize a few other riders who must have come after me in JD's man-by-man conquest of the jumping world. One or two nodded to me, but we didn't speak and I sat through the ceremony quietly, reflecting on my months with JD.

Robert had everyone back to JD's city house for a reception, at JDs request, I'm sure. He always liked a party, even if he wasn't around to attend this one. I sipped an orange juice, chatted with a few people, and went home, subdued, but not really sad any longer. JD had enjoyed a good life and I hoped I could say the same when my time came.

Over the next few days, I became totally caught up in getting ready for the first Gran Prix. It had been my world for a lot of years and I was excited to get another crack at it, but I was also nervous as hell. At 30, I was older than most of the top riders, but I figured that made me smarter too, or so I told myself whenever I got the panicky urge to call Chloe and cancel. Sam tried to keep me calmed down, but he had never performed on a national level as I had, and finally threw up his hands and suggested Valium if I was going to act like a nut case until the damn horse show came and went. I snapped at him for referring to a Gran Prix as a 'horse show', but he kissed me quickly and distracted me by sticking his hand down my pants.

Chloe sent me a DVD of Simon's last several rides and the first time I watched it, something jumped out at me. Chloe had two horses on the circuit this season. They had fancy registered names, but she always gave her top horses barn names, so this season we had Minx and Kahn. Minx was 3rd in points right now, a nice Warmblood bay mare that tried hard and was reliable. Then there was Kahn. Chloe had picked him up cheap at a dispersal auction in a fit of I'm not sure what. Kahn was a dark bay Thoroughbred/draft cross, big, strong, and quick, but given to temper tantrums that made him a question mark in the ring. Still, Simon had him 6th in points. As I watched him take Kahn around the arena, I noticed that in between jumps, Kahn's head swung from one side to the other, his ears waggling like crazy. I had ridden him a lot when Chloe first got him, and I had a few ideas on how to get more out of him.

I bought a few sets of show clothes and treated myself to a new pair of Sergio Grasso boots. Sam's eyes widened at the price tag, but they fit wonderfully and were comfortable enough to wear all day. I spent an extra couple hours in the saddle every day, taking over the schooling of most of the jumpers currently at the stable, and by the time the Tuesday before the event rolled around, I was as ready as I was going to get. I had the skill, the desire, and the smarts. Now we just had to see if I had the luck.

One morning I asked Sam, "Can you get away for an hour sometime today. I'm going to ride a couple horses at competition pace and thought you might like a taste of what I'll be doing." He said he'd be there around 2, after the lunch rush.

The first horse was a bay gelding named Tinker because his previous owner had told me he wasn't worth a 'tinker's damn' as a hunter for his daughter. Just as the Beemer purred into the yard, I'd finished warming him up and was ready to go. Several people heard that I was going to cut loose, and our little bleachers were almost full. I circled Tink around one end of the arena and turned him toward the first jump.

We had set the ring up like Devon from a couple years ago, 12 obstacles, big and challenging. The first jump was a vertical and Tinker sailed over it with a foot to spare. He was a strong jumper, but not especially handy so I kept my turns large and round. He stuttered through 4A and B, an oxer/oxer combination, but only knocked one rail down. Six was the water that he thought twice about, but I rode him hard and he stretched over it, landing a couple inches past the tape on the far side. The biggest challenge on this course is 10A, B and C, the oxer/vertical/oxer combination, with two and three strides in between, respectively. Only two horses were clean the year this course was used. We got over the first spread, pulled up sufficiently to clear the vertical, but then Tink didn't gear up quite enough to make it over the second oxer; hanging a front leg in the far pole and bringing it along with us. He stumbled hard, but stayed on his feet, and we finished the rest of the course without incident. Sam rolled his eyes at me and shook his head, but he was smiling.

The next horse was a quick little jumper named Marvin, the only horse of Frank Easton, a developer from Dallas who came up on weekends to play country squire. Frank couldn't afford to campaign Marvin all over the country, but he did well locally and made it to an occasional regional qualifier. Marvin was small, but jumped like a gazelle, and he was great for practicing tight turns. I had studied the course closely and this go should be a lot more interesting than Tinker's. As we were in the air over the second jump, I asked Marvin for a left lead and the instant we landed, I tugged him hard between 8 and 9, cutting five strides off the time it took to get to 3. We took it at a tight angle and galloped through 4, 5 and 6 before I had another opportunity to cut some time. I did the same sort of thing and we were clean with a time twelve seconds quicker than Tink's, and less than a second off the winning time at Devon. Those shortcuts are what it takes to win and I was jazzed cause I thought I could probably do the same sort of thing on Cal if we could make it into the jump off.

Sam was grinning at me when I came out of the ring. "Jesus, that was exciting. This horse was a lot faster than the first one." He looked at my smug expression. "You look pretty pleased with yourself."

I shrugged. "I think I have a chance. A good one, if I can keep Kahn's mind on his work. He went back to the restaurant and I finished the day in a pleasant glow. At least I was pretty sure now that I wouldn't totally embarrass myself for riding, and Chloe for hiring me.

That final week went by with several interesting happenings. Robert called Monday to say that the transfer of ownership was complete and that I was now the official owner of Castlewood and all it entailed. I blew out a long breath when we hung up, then turned in surprise when James, Ernesto, Faith, and Bella all burst through the door, cheering and hugging me. Bella had answered the phone and sweet talked Robert into telling her the reason for his call. They were thrilled for me and the burden of ownership lightened a little as I remembered that I had all these good people working for me; people I could count on. I took them all for lunch across the road and brought back a box of gooey desserts from the deli for everyone else, calling a short meeting in the office to give them the news.

Sam came home with a cluster of helium balloons that said 'congratulations' and a bottle of champagne that we used to wash down the Chinese food he'd picked up. I knew he would someday own the restaurants, and I wondered how our lives would change with the pressures of both of us being sole proprietors of successful businesses.

James found me the next afternoon as I was packing up my kit bag for the trip. I was sorting out a pile of spurs when he came into the tack room. He looked a little nervous and I eyed him curiously. "What's up?"

"Well, there's a guy here about a job."

"Okay. If it's a stable boy, you can talk to him, like usual. I don't think we have anything else right now, do we?"

"It's for a stable boy, but I think you should talk to him."

"Why?"

"Well, he works at Tacony's and wants out of there."

I snorted. "Good for him, he's got _some_ brains, at least. Hire him."

"He wants to talk to you first."

I finally turned to face him. "Well, why the hell didn't you say so. Where is he?"

James sent the guy to my office. He closed the door behind him and just stood there watching me for a moment. He was decent looking, late twenties maybe, sandy haired, what looked like a good body in somewhat shabby clothes. I stood and walked around the desk to him. "I'm Dean Winchester. James says you want to get out of Tacony's. How long have you been there?"

"Two years. Yeah, I don't want to work there any more. They treat their horses bad." He glanced around the office quickly, and then met my eyes again. "My name's Gabriel. I know about the horse."

I looked at his face, trying to get a read on him. Was he blackmailing me with horse stealing. Kind of late since Faith had it all straightened out with the court. When I didn't reply, he shifted his feet a little and spoke again. "I was in prison," he blurted out. "I did 16 months for Grand Theft Auto. I've been out almost three years. I work hard and I know horses. The prison was part of the BLM mustang program."

I absorbed all that in silence. Tacony's hired ex-cons that wasn't much of a surprise. Then I caught myself. Not all cons were scum. Jesus, I was as bad as every straight person who assumed all gay men were perverts. Just cause the guy had fucked up and spent time in prison didn't mean he was a total lost cause. I looked at him more closely. He met my eyes steadily, but I could see he was a little nervous. I guessed I would be, too.

The Bureau of Land Management rounded up wild mustangs a few times a year and auctioned them off. The ones who didn't get bought were sold to dog food factories or given to prisons. The prisons broke, trained, and sold them, using the profits to keep the program going. It gave the prisoners something worthwhile to do and gave the horses another chance at life. I looked back at Gabriel, who was still watching me, waiting for my decision. "You need to give notice?"

He shook his head. "Yesterday was my last day. I couldn't stand it any more so I quit. I've enough saved up to live for a while till I get another job."

"See James at 7 tomorrow morning."

"Thanks. You won't be sorry." I nodded at him and he left. I hoped my instincts were good. I saw him now and then over the next couple days, always with his eyes on his job, doing all the grunt work that was traditionally given to the FNGs. James reported that he showed up early and worked until quitting time so far, so good.

Early the morning after Gabriel started, Tay came rattling up the drive in his farrier's truck. I'd seen him around town several times since Sky had started doing our horses and wondered what brought him out here at this hour. He climbed out, jammed his hands in his pockets, and stood looking around as I walked over to meet him. He was a handsome guy with long dark hair, more muscled than Sky, but not quite to Chris's level. He wore his jeans tight and always had a serious bulge in his crotch that I'd been curious about for years. He was a home town boy, raised on a local ranch and probably hadn't been out of the tri-county area three times in his life except to farrier school.

"Hey, Tay, haven't seen you in a while. How's the shoeing business?"

"Uh, good," he said, glancing away from me with a distracted look on his face. I watched him for a moment, but he just stared off across the yard.

"Something on your mind?" I prompted him.

"Yeah . . . " He damn near scuffed the toe of his Ropers in the dirt and I started to smile.

"Wanna go in the office and talk about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good."

We walked silently to the far end of the big barn and into my quiet office, where I closed the door behind us and watched him work up to it. He wandered around a bit, finally coming to a halt near the table that held the best of the trophies from my competitive days. As he ran a finger over the engraving on a big crystal bowl, he muttered, "I need a blow job."

I simply blinked at him, sure that my ears were going bad. I couldn't possibly have heard him correctly. "Excuse me?"

He turned to look at me now. "I'm thinkin' 'bout getting' married, and I gotta have one good blow job afore I do."

"And you think I'm the person to ask about that?"

"Well, I know you're gay. You never made no effort to hide it, so I figured . . . "

"You figured what. That just because I'm queer, I'd jump at the chance to suck your cock. You ignorant asshole, I oughta.."

"No, no, I didn't mean it that way. Sorry. Fuck. Becky doesn't give head worth a damn, and I thought if I could just once in my life get my dick sucked by somebody who knows what the hell they're doing, I could maybe give her some pointers." He shook his head and started for the door. "Sorry, just forget I was here."

I grabbed his arm as he walked past me, swinging him around to look him in the face. "What makes you think I'd be interested?"

He studied my expression for a moment, gauging my mood. "Well, I noticed you looking at my dick a fair bit whenever I was out here doing your horses."

He had me there. And I thought I'd been so discreet. I tried to calm down and think about what he was asking. "Stay here a minute."

I walked outside, pulled out my cell, and dialed Sam. "You're not going to believe the offer I just got." He was chuckling after a couple sentences and by the time I was finished, he was laughing hard.

"Oh, God, that's great!" he gasped. "Don't be pissed at him. Poor guy. He sounds totally fucked to me. Go do him, quick. He deserves one really good one, don't you think. And you're just the man to give it to him. I only wish I was there to see his face, but you keep your dick in your pants. I'll take care of you tonight."

He hung up still chuckling to himself and I walked back in to Tay who turned to me. "Look, Dean, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean..."

"It's okay," I cut him off. "I know what you meant. You're gonna get your blow job, but on my conditions." He stared at me for a long moment; then nodded.

"Come here. Lean your ass against the desk and spread your feet." When he was set, I stepped between his boots, put my hands on his shoulders, and looked into his face from about eight inches away. He flinched a little, but didn't move, staring back at me, with both apprehension and expectation on his face. I'd had this particular fantasy about Tay for years, so I was going to make the most of it.

I slid my hands down his chest, the firm blocks of his pecs filling my palms. He sucked in a breath and let it out with a shudder when my thumbs slid over his nipples. As my hands traveled down the ridges of his stomach, his eyes darkened and his lips parted slightly, but I figured kissing was more than he'd bargained for, so I left his mouth alone. When I put a hand on his crotch, he jumped again and his dick lurched against the confines of his jeans. I pulled his t-shirt out and flipped open the buttons of his 501s. He wasn't wearing any shorts, and the tip of his cock was visible - dark red, wet and shiny - as I parted his fly and pushed his jeans down.

"My God, Tay!" I looked up at him. He had one of those beer can dicks, average length, but really thick, and his nuts were huge, tugging down the soft skin of his scrotum with a weighty sway.

"What?" He sounded panicky.

"Your cock is amazing. And your balls are huge."

"Yeah, so?" he said defensively, looking down at the items in question, now resting in my hands.

"Relax. That's a compliment. They're great. Really hot."

"Becky thinks it's all gross."

I looked at him hard. "Maybe you need to rethink Becky. None of my business, but how can you be with someone who thinks this is gross?" I bent his prick down and let it slap back up against his tight, hairy belly while my other hand squeezed his balls, pulling a moan from him.

Before he could think about it, I dropped to my knees and closed my lips over the big mushroom head of his cock, sucking gently. His mouth dropped open in a groan that twisted his face with pleasure, and his hands closed around the sides of my head, pulling me closer. I let him bury himself in my throat, and nuzzled my nose into his black, untrimmed bush when I got there. He smelled great, and I inhaled deeply as he pushed into my face.

He started fucking my mouth almost immediately, and probably could have come in a New York minute, but I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. Since he seemed to think gay guys were the last word on cock sucking, I planned to make damn sure he went away certain of it.

I ran my hands up his belly under his shirt, through the thick cushion of crispy black hair that tickled my wrists. His nipples were hard now and I rolled them gently in my fingertips, all the while dragging my mouth up and down his thick cock in long, slow strokes, lingering at the top to run my tongue over his slit. Deep groans rumbled through his body as his hands trembled slightly on my head.

When he was once again thrusting into me, I dropped to his nuts, sucking first one, then the other into my mouth since they didn't both fit at once. I pulled them aside and licked as far back as I could reach, tickling just the edge of his opening. His groan changed to a higher pitched 'ahhhhh' and he squatted slightly to give me better access. I didn't think he could take much more so I got a finger real wet, dropped my mouth back onto his cock, and touched my slick finger to his pucker at the same time I started sucking him hard.

His head dropped back, his belly tightened up, and he began to pump faster. Just as I felt his nuts lift, I slid my finger a little ways into his ass and jiggled it as he started to shoot. The 'ahhhhh' became a steady wail, and I swallowed repeatedly as his jerking cock blasted into the back of my throat. I kept my mouth on him, but eased off the pressure as he slowed down. Tay was shaking all over, his knees banging into my arms as I knelt there massaging his softening dick with my tongue. I finally slid my mouth slowly off him and sat back on my heels. His eyes opened slowly, and I made sure he was watching me as I licked my lips and smiled at him.

"How was that?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. He couldn't talk yet, but the expression on his face said it all, just as Sam had predicted. His t-shirt was shoved partway up his chest, his jeans were around his ankles, and a blissful smile was widening his mouth. I watched him for a moment, thought 'fuck it', got to my feet, and kissed him. He wasn't expecting it, but he was still floating on that post-orgasmic high, and he kissed me back, his tongue tangling with mine for an instant. That surprised both of us, and I broke the kiss before it could get too serious. While I figured he could rationalize a blow job between buddies, he wouldn't be able to get his head around kissing another man, and I didn't want to lose him as a friend.

I turned away and straightened out my own throbbing cock that was struggling to get past the waistband of my riding tights. When I heard Tay move away from the desk, I turned back to him. "Well?"

He stared at the floor for a long minute, then swallowed and lifted his eyes to mine. "I didn't know it could be that good. I've never cum like that in my life." He looked away and I realized what a difficult admission that was for a good old redneck Texas boy. I threw an arm around his shoulders and aimed us toward the door.

"Good luck," I called as he walked a not quite steady path to his truck. He lifted a hand to me as he drove out of the yard, the ghost of a smile still on his mouth. I wondered how many years would go by till he didn't think of me every single time he got blown. If Becky was as unskilled as he claimed, he'd probably _always_ think of me. I shook my head and walked around my office until my cock calmed down, then went back to work.

Sam was fascinated by the whole episode and made me recount it minute by minute that night over dinner. He'd never run across a cock like Tay's, and had me describe it in detail, right down to how it felt in my mouth.

"Fat," I said, waggling my empty Dr. Pepper can at him. "And muscular," I added, crushing the can in my fist.

Sam winced, and then sighed wistfully. "Well, if he decides he needs another one, call me. I'd love a chance at that dick."

"Don't hold your breath," I told him. "He's thinking about getting married to a woman who thinks his equipment is disgusting."

Sam looked properly horrified at that, and we pondered for a while the unfortunate situations that people get themselves into. When we went up to bed, Sam insisted on playing the part of Tay while I sucked his dick. He got to laughing so hard when I took only one nut at a time into my mouth that I started giggling, too. Then we abandoned play-acting for the real thing, which was much more satisfying.

My first GP was the Antioch Jumper Classic in Massachusetts; Sam and I arrived on Thursday afternoon. He was fascinated with the decked out show grounds and wandered around while I checked in at the barn and worked out a schedule with Chloe's head groom, Carlos. Friday morning, I rode both horses around the practice course. Minx was as I remembered her, quiet and competent, but lacking the fire I liked in a jumper. Kahn was huge. I hadn't seen him in a while and he was all muscled out now from months of competition, sleek and sassy, shifting restlessly as Carlos gave me a leg up. I warmed him up with plenty of leg work, getting a few dressage moves out of him, wanting him supple and listening to me. It was early and not too many people were around yet, so I tried out my theory.

Some horses get hot in the ring and begin to rush the fences. Others are easier to rate, cantering from jump to jump in an orderly fashion. Kahn was neither. He was always ready to go, but not necessarily in the direction of the next jump. I had pulled an old set of blinders out of my kit bag and fitted them onto his bridle before I mounted him. They restricted his line of sight to whatever I aimed him at, blocking his distracting peripheral vision. He shook his head a few times, but didn't seem to mind too much. As I cantered him in figure 8s, he settled into the job, steadying underneath me.

I worked him for an hour, getting used to him again, the way he moved, how quickly he could handle himself, then I turned him into a jump line consisting of a wide water jump, then five strides to a vertical. This is a tough combination because the horse needs speed to get cleanly over the water, but you have to maintain control to clear the vertical without bringing down a bar. I turned him loose to the water and he pounded across the turf, clearing the 15' width by two feet. When I asked him to come back to me for the vertical, he shook his head once quickly, then slowed two strides from the jump and lifted over it with a foot to spare, his legs tucked cleanly under him, ears forward, looking like a horse who loved his job. I left the ring after that, and winked at Carlos when he raised an eyebrow at me. I knew I was on to something.

I rode both of them a couple more times Friday and Saturday. Saturday afternoon was a charity event in which Chloe had entered both horses. I rode Minx to a respectable 2nd place, but let Kahn do his usual thing and ended up 9th with eight faults. He bucked on the way out of the arena, almost unseating me, and the crowd noise brought back a quick memory of the day I'd been hurt. On that day, the crowd had been on its feet, silent, as I was plucked from the wreckage of the jump and carted out of the arena on a stretcher. That was the last any of them had seen of me until now, and several people came by the barn to say 'Hi' at the end of the day. Sam smiled and watched from a chair by the tack room, getting up to shake hands now and then when I introduced him to someone who mattered enough to me to bother.

A few society women brought their daughters by to see if I was as eligible as I had looked in the ring. I made a point of introducing Sam as my partner to these women, with an arm around his shoulders. It was a struggle to keep a straight face as comprehension crossed their features, followed by resignation, or disgust, depending on their beliefs. I'd never made any effort to hide my homosexuality when I had been competing before, but now that Sam was in the picture, it was important to me that people were clear about who and what I was.

Cas came by and we made plans to hook up with him after dinner. We were all staying at the Sheraton, so that evening we had a drink in the bar, then went up to my room, talking about the various horses and riders entered in tomorrow's event. Sam gave me a long look when Cas was taking a leak and I smiled back at him. When Cas passed by me on the way back to his chair, I grabbed his arm, pulling him down onto the couch next to me. "Wanna stay?"

Sam grinned at him from where he lounged on the bed, and Cas slowly smiled at me. I kissed him while I tugged his shirt loose from his pants, unbuttoning it to run my hands over his chest. He was built a lot like me, almost same height, just a few pounds lighter, and touching him was eerily familiar sometimes. He pushed me back against the arm of the couch, making short work of my belt and zipper, kneeling between my legs to pull my cock free. I was just starting to get hard when he sucked me into his mouth, using his tongue to circle the head of my cock, lapping at my slit. Sam climbed off the bed and stripped, stroking himself as he watched Cas blow me. When Sam shoved Cas's pants down to his knees I felt Cas slow a little, then Cas's moan vibrated around my cock as Sam nibbled down his back, ending up in his ass.

Normally Cas gives great head, but he was so distracted by Sams rim job that I finally slid out from under him, letting him collapse face first into the cushion with a long groan. I knelt on the floor next to them and took a dick in each hand, kissing the side of Sam's face where it pressed into Cas's ass. I could see his mouth widen in a smile when I stuck my tongue in his ear, and he squinted his eyes shut, but he never slowed down on Cas. After several minutes we were all hard and dripping, and Sam straightened up, flipped Cas over, and rubbed the tip of his cock up and down the slick valley of his ass. I reached for Sam's cock and guided him in, feeling the slight resistance, stroking Sam lightly as he sunk deeper.

As he began to thrust slowly, I swung a leg over Cas's chest, ending up with his tongue in my ass and me facing Sam so we could kiss. I grabbed Cas's cock and stroked along with Sam's movements, fondling his balls with my other hand. Cas was more with the program this time, giving my ass a good workout, and Sam was putting some effort into kissing me. I couldn't decide which end of things felt best, so I quit thinking and just floated along enjoying the tongue duet.

As Sam got close, he was breathing too hard to kiss me, so I climbed off Cas and started sucking him, Sam's belly bumping the side of my face as he pumped. They got off about the same time and I stood up to shoot all over Cas's stomach as Sam ran his hand up my leg to hold my balls.

We couldn't all fit in the hotel shower so we sort of staged our way through it, two of us in there at any one time. The bed was huge so we all piled in, Sam in the center, since he wiggled the least in his sleep. I was starting to get edgy and ended up on the couch about 3am, staring out the window at the quiet city, a little hazy at this hour of the morning. I was so out of it that Sam's hand on my shoulder made me jump.

"Hey, Sexy. Got the jitters?"

I turned as he sat down behind me, curling up so my head was in his lap. He ran one hand through my hair while the other rubbed my butt. It was a soothing combination and I began to relax. He scooted down till we were mostly horizontal, and we dozed until morning.

Cas was gone when we woke up, but he'd left a note wishing me luck. We had breakfast, got dressed, and went out to the show grounds in plenty of time for me to get the horses warmed up and myself psyched to ride. Chloe was there, decked out in lots of diamonds and a huge hat. She gave me a big kiss, pinched my butt, and told me to ride my ass off.

Sam kissed me, too, then Carlos tossed me onto Minx, and I was off to the warm-up ring. Minx was the 3rd horse to go with Kahn 12th so I had plenty of time to change horses. I cantered Minx slowly around, took a couple jumps and waited for my turn, trying to keep my breakfast down and deciding if I needed to pee one more time. Then the horse before me blew through jump 6, a huge triple bar spread, and withdrew. Suddenly the announcer was saying my name, the gate was opening in front of me, and I was entering the arena for my first competitive event in seven years.

I nodded to the judges' stand, circled Minx once, and galloped through the starting cones.

This course consisted of 13 jumping efforts, all of them big and imposing, but nothing Minx couldn't handle on a good day. We cleared the first four obstacles cleanly, powered over the water with a couple inches to spare, then turned to the big spread that had taken out the horse in front of me. This was the exact same jump that had caused my accident, and I knew a sharp, quick spike of fear as I steadied Minx with my knees and kept her reined in until three strides before the fence. When I knew she was on stride, I loosened the reins slightly and urged her forward. She responded with a surge of power that I didn't know she had in her, and we were over that big fence with daylight under her belly. The crowd ooo'd appreciatively as we made it cleanly through the next three efforts, then came to 8A/B/C, an oxer/oxer/vertical triple combination designed to separate the men from the boys, so to speak.

I gathered her up to get the striding perfect, then let her go over the first oxer, pulled her back for the three strides to the 2nd oxer, then really throttled her back for a stride, let her go on the next one and lifted her over the vertical. The rest of the course was no problem; we were clean and under the time allowed. I trotted her back to Carlos, swapped the saddle, and hopped onto Kahn.

Sam gripped my knee and I leaned down to kiss him, feeling my oats now that I had a clean round under my belt.

It was about 45 minutes 'til they called us and by then Kahn and I were both wet with nervous sweat. I hoped my little tricks worked. In addition to the blinders, I had stuffed his ears with cotton to keep the noise of the crowd from distracting him.

He shifted sideways, dancing along as we entered the ring and I checked him sharply, trying to get his attention on me. As we went through the cones, I tuned out everything but the big animal moving beneath me and took him over the first fence. As we landed, he bolted ahead of my hands but I got him back quickly, and we made it through the first four jumps with no problem. We galloped the water, sailing over it at full speed. He fought me as I pulled him back for the huge spread jump coming up five strides away and I'd barely got him under control when I had to release him for the take-off. We were too close, but he made it over with only a light rub on the near rail.

By the time we came to the triple combination, he had settled down a little and was listening to my hands. We finished with no jumping or time faults, qualifying us for the jump-off. Three other horses had clean rounds, including Cas, and we all milled around the warm-up area while the ring crew prepared the arena. I was first and last since I had two horses. Minx and I entered the ring and I quickly looked over the course. There were only seven jumps this time and I saw two places where I could maybe shave some time off by cutting things close, but not on Minx. We went as quickly as I thought she could handle; she took down the top rail of the vertical, so we had four faults.

The next horse bombed out by taking apart the 2nd half of the double combination. The 3rd horse was Cas who was clean and beat Minx's time by a few ticks, so Minx was now in 2nd place. The 4th horse was a big mare ridden by a rookie whose nerves took over part way around. They ended with 12 faults, bombing through the last three fences like a bull in a china shop.

Then I was in the ring on Kahn. Unfortunately, he knew what a jump-off meant and was ready to rock and roll. I used up every second of the time allotted before you had to get through the start cones, then turned him loose and we rocketed over the first two jumps. As he landed on the far side of the oxer, I pulled him sharply to the right between two fences and asked him for a major effort over the vertical.

He pulled it off, landing a little awkwardly, but suddenly I felt him understand what I wanted. He sharpened up and when I cued him for a left lead in the air over jump six, he was right there with me and leaned over hard to make the turn, his feet gouging out swaths of turf. The last jump was the big spread again, my nemesis, and I gritted my teeth as we came to it with only two strides to get ready. I felt Kahn lengthen his last stride slightly, then he was in the air in what felt like a leap big enough to get us over the moon. The rails flashed beneath him and we were thundering through the finishing cones, his neck stretched out, ears pinned back, me leaned out over his neck yelling in his ear. What a rush. I swear to God, it's almost as good as sex.

I glanced at the clock and saw that we'd done it. Kahn had won his first GP. I stood in the stirrups and pumped my fist in the air, too jazzed to be dignified about it, and the crowd went nuts. As we left the arena, Chloe, Cas, Carlos, and Sam converged on us, grinning and whooping. I slid off into their arms; we all hugged each other and anyone else who got close enough. I managed to get my act together for the presentation ceremony, smiling and shaking hands with the promoters. I remembered to thank all my sponsors, and I dedicated the win to JD.

The barn was a mob scene with media people wanting interviews, more women with daughters, and lots of horse people. Chloe, bless her heart, had bought champagne that morning with high hopes. Amazingly, I had fulfilled them, and we drank to second chances, pouring plastic flutes for everyone who stopped by.

I was pretty buzzed when I felt Sam's eyes on me and turned to him. He wasn't smiling any longer and the expression on his face gripped my heart with a tight fist.

"Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?" he said softly. "I love you so much."

I smiled into those blue green gold eyes that knew me so well and replied, "I know you do."

We got home Monday afternoon and just stayed around the house, me still floating along on the high of winning, which was only slightly diminished by my wicked champagne hangover. Tuesday we went off to work as usual; I finally got away from the stable at six and loped most of the way home..The kitchen light was on so at least I could look forward to a hug in a few minutes, and hopefully a big glass of wine wasn't far behind. I pushed into the kitchen with a smile starting, but the room was empty and there weren't any signs of dinner. I glanced around and saw his chef's jacket on the back of a chair.

"Sam?" My voice echoed back to me and I began to get uneasy. I walked into the hall and saw something lying on the floor near the stairs. As I picked it up, I recognized the shirt I had given Sam for his birthday last year. It had been torn down the front and I stared stupidly at it for a moment until panic grabbed me and I sprinted up the stairs two at a time yelling his name. His pants were crumpled in the hall, loose change flung all over, as though they'd been ripped from his body in a struggle. I ran down the hall, freezing in shock at the door to our room.

Sam was tied face down on the bed by his wrists with thin yellow nylon rope. His arms were stretched wide, pulling his shoulder blades tight to the center of his back. He had tucked his legs up sideways, trying to curl into himself; a thin trickle of blood ran from his ass down to a dark stain on the pale yellow sheet, and several thick white ropes of cum were splashed across his butt. I heard a raw, animal howl come from my throat as I ran to him, trying desperately to untie him with hands that shook so badly I gave up and yanked my pocket knife out, hacking at the ropes just above his wrists. He had fought hard; the twisted nylon cut deeply into his skin and was red with his blood. When his arms were free, he tucked them to his chest and curled into a fetal position.

There were several small dark holes on one side of his lower back and it took my brain three endless, horrified seconds to identify them as burns from the lit end of a cigarette. Beneath the dark ash of burnt skin, they oozed clear fluid and blood. I gagged a few times, then began to cry in big heaving sobs. Sam's eyes were closed and his face was bruised and scraped, with blood welling from a split in his lip. I climbed onto the bed next to him, desperate to touch him but not sure how badly he was injured so I just pulled the sheet up over him and lay down with my arm over his shoulder. We were both shaking badly and my teeth chattered so hard that I couldn't stop them.

Sam kept his eyes closed and didn't speak while I dialed 911, having to repeat the address three times before she could understand me. While we waited, I tried to calm down and talk to him, but he lay there silently trembling and that scared me almost as much as his physical injuries.

I was still holding him when the paramedics came into the room. I moved out of the way while they checked him carefully for broken bones and spinal damage, eventually loading him onto a stretcher with an IV to help with shock. Since his injuries weren't life threatening, one of the medics took a quick look at me. After he made me sit down and drink a glass of water, I quit shaking so badly, and he gave me the okay to drive.

I followed the ambulance to the hospital, calling Adam on the way. Cas was with him so they called Zane, Sky, and Sam's parents, and by the time I arrived, Zach, who had happened to be three minutes from the hospital, was waiting for me. Chris was out of town.

"What the hell happened. Adam said Sam was attacked!" Zane was wild eyed and grabbed me when I came in the door. When he got a good look at my face, he folded me into his arms and held on tight for a minute. He kept his arm around me as we headed for the desk to ask about Sam.

They told us he was being treated and the doctor would be out to talk to us when he was finished. As Zane led me to a chair, Adam and Cas burst through the door, spotted us and came running over. I told them what I had found when I got home, crying again through the worst parts. As I was blowing my nose, a doctor in bloody green scrubs came through the swinging doors and walked over to us.

"Any of you related to Sam Stivaletti?"

I spoke up. "He's my partner. How bad is he hurt?"

The doctor looked at me closely, then relaxed a little. "He's going to be fine. He's pretty banged up, and there was some anal tearing but nothing serious. It will take a couple weeks for him to heal but there won't be any permanent damage. The burns on his back will require cosmetic surgery to prevent scarring but after a year or so, you'll hardly be able to see them. His wrists will scar also, but not badly."

He took another look at our frightened, angry faces. "This was a brutal attack. We report these types of victims to the police, so someone will be here soon to get your statements." He paused again, and then put his hand on my arm, squeezing lightly.."We're going to keep him at least overnight. We've given him pain meds but you can see him if you like."

Sam was in a curtained area lying on his side facing away when I came in. A sheet was pulled up to his waist, the burns on his back were covered with white ointment. He was curled up again with his arms against his chest.

"Sam?"

When he didn't reply, I walked slowly around the bed.

"Sam?" His eyes were closed but he silently reached out a trembling hand. I started to cry again as I took it in both of mine and pressed it to my mouth, leaning close to him. "You're gonna be okay, sweetheart. God, I love you so much."

His fingers tightened on mine and his face slowly crumbled as he began to cry, deep wrenching sobs that shook his whole body. I wrapped my arm around him above the burns and held him until the worst of it passed. Once he finally broke down, I was able to pull myself together, to be strong for him. I blew my nose on the fistful of tissues I'd been clutching and wiped Sam's bruised face gently. He had relaxed a little and hugged my arm to his chest, burying his face in my hand. He drew several shuddering breaths and sighed deeply. He still had not looked at me. I knelt down so our faces were level.

"Sam." His eyes were swimming in tears when he opened them to mine, his black lashes wet and spiky, and the despair in them was horrible to see. I brushed his hair back from his face and kissed him softly. "I love you. I love you."

He nodded tiredly and whispered, "I know you do." His voice was hoarse and the dreadful thought came to me that it was probably from screaming when they burned him. He looked at me for a few more seconds, then his eyes glazed over and he drifted off into a drugged sleep. I kissed his forehead, then his palm, curling his fingers over the kiss, and left him there.

A police officer and Sam's parents were in the waiting room talking to the doctor. I hugged his folks and assured them that he was okay but sleeping; they went in to stay with him for a while. The officer took my statement and I gave him an access code to the house so that he could send a crime scene team to collect whatever evidence they could find.

The doctor took me aside after the cop left. "Sam isn't talking except to answer our questions. That's not unusual after an attack like this so I'm recommending him for psychiatric counseling, at least a couple sessions. It can be helpful for the partner of the victim to take part." I nodded my understanding, wondering just how much damage Sam had incurred. He told me Sam would sleep through the night so we all went to Zane's house; I couldn't face going home.

I told them about the marks I'd seen on Sam's wrists years ago. That was the only thing I could think of that made any sense. I didn't even know the guy's name but he must have found out that Sam was living with me and ambushed him in the house. I didn't know how big this guy was, but doubted he could have overpowered Sam by himself, so he must have brought help. Knowing that our home had been the scene of such sick violence suddenly made me ill and I ran to the bathroom, heaving my guts dry while Adam kept a hand on my neck.

When I sat back on my heels, shaky, pale, and sweating, Cas turned on the shower while Adam stripped me. Cas got naked and pulled me into the tub, washing me as if I was a kid and hugging me when I started to cry. I just felt like I would never stop. To see Sam beaten and brutalized like that was more than I could cope with. When they got me out of the shower and dried off, Cas and Adam climbed into bed with me, one on either side, rubbing my back, talking softly to me. All that body contact was comforting and I fell into an exhausted sleep. I woke around 3am to a quiet house.

I still felt horrible, with a big knot in my stomach, and red, scratchy eyes from crying so much but I was calmer. I slid out of bed, pulled on my shorts, and walked out into the living room. Sky was lying on the couch in just his jeans, with one arm behind his head, studying the ceiling. He glanced over when I came into the room.

"Hey. Sorry I didn't get here 'til late. You doing okay?"

"Yeah. Just can't sleep anymore."

"Come here." He sat up a little and leaned back against the arm of the couch, holding out a hand to me. I settled in between his legs, snuggling up against his warm, bare chest, and sighed heavily when he began to rub big slow circles on my back. "I'm so sorry this happened to you guys."

"Me, too. I still can't believe it. They burned him. What kind of sick fuck holds a lit cigarette to someone?"

He hugged me tighter for a moment, shaking his head. "I don't know." We lay there dozing until it began to get light.

Cas wandered in, kissed me, and sat at the other end of the couch with Sky's feet in his lap. Zane came in next, smiled at the three of us on the couch, and went to make coffee, ruffling my hair on his way by. Adam finally woke up when he smelled the coffee, stumbling out of his room rumple headed, scratching his crotch and yawning.

"Jesus, you're a scary sight in the morning," Sky said with a chuckle.

Adam gave him the finger and collapsed into a chair. "I love you, too."

Zane came in with coffee and the room fell silent as we all blew and sipped. He looked at me.

"What do you want to do, Dean. We need to get your car from the hospital, and you probably want clean clothes. Cas and I'll help you with that." He stopped for a moment. "Where do you want to take Sam when he's released?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I'm not sure he'll want to go back to the house."

"You know you can stay here. Chris doesn't get back 'til Sunday so it'll be quiet. The big guest room has its own bath so you can have some privacy."

"Thanks. Let me talk to Vincent today and see if he's even getting out. It might be tomorrow." We showered and ate, an. then Adam and Zane drove me to the house. A police van was in the driveway so I went up to speak to them; the guy in charge told me they'd be done in an hour or so. I spoke with Maria and made a few phone calls.

When we got to the hospital, Sam was in a regular room but I went up alone, not sure if he'd want to see anyone else yet. He was lying on his side, eating purple Jello. The bruises on his face had darkened to purple and his lip was puffy and raw, but he smiled when he saw me and I felt a hundred times better. I took his face carefully in my hands and kissed his good cheek. He nuzzled into me and laid a hand over one of mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes, just soaking up the feel of each other. We hadn't spent a night apart since he'd moved in and I missed him desperately.

Although he was doing fine, the doctor decided to keep him another day, so I left after assuring him I'd be back in the afternoon. I spent the day shopping for all sam's favorite foods - smoked oysters, sharp cheddar cheese, Lucky Charms and I fixed up one of the guest rooms in case we couldn't face our room yet.

When I went back at four, he was sleeping, so I sat and watched him, studying the marks on his face and wishing a slow, painful death on whoever did this to him. He came awake gradually, blinking a few times before he focused on me. We smiled a slow smile at each other as I leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me back this time and it was all I could do not to climb into bed with him. He sat up and swung his legs out of the bed.

"Let's walk or something. I need to get the fuck out of here." We put another hospital gown on him backwards so his butt was covered and walked slowly out into the hall. He moved a little stiffly, but loosened up as we went along.

A nurse told us there was a solarium on the top floor, so we took the elevator up. It was a big sunlit room and we settled down on one of the couches with Sam facing me so we could hug each other. I was afraid of hurting his back but he said, "I don't care. I need you to hold me." So I did.

We just sat there for a while, cuddling, and kissing a little, although his lip was pretty sore. A few people came and went, but no one bothered us.

"When will they let you go home?"

"They're waiting for me to take a crap," he said with a snort. "If I can do that with no problem, they'll turn me loose." I raised an eyebrow at him and he blew out a breath, shaking his head. "I'm working on it, okay. It's not exactly something I'm looking forward to right now."

That was the first reference he'd made to the attack and I wondered if he'd ever tell me exactly what happened, or if he even remembered. Eventually, we got hungry and went back to his room. A detective was waiting to talk with him and Sam looked at me with an odd expression. I took the hint and left after promising to be back at ten the next morning.

On the way home, I called Jesse, the guy who owned the security company. "Jesse, this is Dean. You came to Chris's birthday party at my place. You said if I ever needed anything . . . "

"Hey, Dean, how's it going?"

"Not so hot." I told him what had happened and he was silent for a long moment.

Son of a bitch. I fuckin' hate it when the scumbags score one. I'm so sorry. I'll get a couple guys over there today. Call me back when you know he's coming home."

Sam managed to perform later that night, so he was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed when I arrived the next morning. I called Jesse while the nurse was getting a wheelchair.

We got through the paperwork, the wheelchair ride to the door, into the car in under an hour, and were driving out of the parking lot when I asked him what he wanted to do.

"Are you okay with going back to the house. Or Zane said we can stay at their place for a few days."

He looked squarely at me. "No, I want to go home." I nodded and that's what we did.

Jesse's guys were there; we spotted one of them at the far corner of the house, the other was out back somewhere. The house bore no traces of what had taken place and Sam seemed glad to be back. Maria was there and had lunch ready for us in the sunroom after she fussed over Sam for a few minutes.

After lunch, Sam lay down in the den for a nap and I ran over to the stable to make sure everything was copacetic. Everyone wanted to hear what happened and how Sam was doing. I gave them the Cliff Notes version and assured them that Sam was going to be fine but I kept the details to myself.

I peeked into the den when I got back. Sam was curled into the back of the couch, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed quietly. I watched him for a moment and just as I began to step into the room, a hard hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me back. I turned to look up into Jesse's somber face. He shook his head at me, hugged me briefly, then walked to Sam, sitting down next to him and engulfing him in those big solid arms. Sam just collapsed into him and began to cry hard, his face buried into Jesse's broad chest. I turned away and slid my back down the wall to sit on the floor in the hall, crying a little myself, aching for him.

Finally, I wandered away and let him find me a while later in the kitchen where I was putting the finishing touches on our dinner of scrambled eggs. We ate slowly, making small talk and I wondered how long it would take us to feel comfortable with each other again. I knew he needed time, but it was so hard to see him like this, so different from his usual friendly, loving self. Jesse was nowhere to be seen, which I came to learn was a specialty of his.

We watched TV for a while, then slowly climbed the stairs to our room, hand in hand. He hesitated at the doorway with a guarded expression on his face but I'd had the room painted sage, and Maria and I had re-arranged all the furniture except the bed, which now had a new mattress and new linens in a dark stripe, very different from our usual pale yellow. He glanced around, then gave me a small smile, acknowledging my efforts.

I changed the dressings on his burns, planting a soft kiss along side each one, and we climbed into bed. He lay on his good side and we looked at each other for a long time. His eyes were sad, but he smiled at me when I cupped his cheek in my hand. We kissed a little, then he pushed me onto my back and put an arm and leg across me, his face against my shoulder. He fell asleep quickly and I lay there listening to him breathe, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against my arm, so thankful that he was home with me again.

Friday morning I surprised him with a childhood favorite that his mother had told me about. The expression on his face when I set a plate of French toast with cream cheese and orange marmalade in front of him, made it worth the effort. He gave me a real grin and got up to hug me, rocking me a little and running his hand down my back to give my butt a squeeze. He spent the day around the house, doing some paperwork and napping when he got tired. I worked most of the day, but came home early so we could have a long evening together. We took a walk around the property, hand in hand, stopping to pay some attention to Xia and Flex who were feeling neglected; I hadn't ridden all week.

After dinner, we wandered into the den, curling up on the couch with Sam between my legs leaning back against me. I put a hand under his shirt and savored the smooth warmth of his skin as I traced the muscles of his stomach. As I reached for the TV remote, Sam pulled my hand back and brought it to his lips, kissing my palm, then folding my fingers over his and kissing each knuckle before laying it on his chest.

He took a deep breath. "His name is Rand and I met him when I was 17. He raped me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Fields of Gold**  
**Part Three**

I felt the blood drain from my face and I got light headed for a second. "Raped you? Jesus Christ!" No wonder Sam had never talked to me about him.

"I was pretty wild back then, still in high school but just barely. Good thing my old man didn't require a college degree to bus tables." He sighed heavily. "I was cruising one night and he tried to pick me up. He was older than I liked and looked pretty tough. I was a skinny kid then, and he made me uncomfortable so I blew him off. He grabbed me into his car later that night when I was walking home. He had a place on the east side of town and when we got there, he dragged me inside and yanked my pants down. I was fighting him by then, but I think that just made it worse." He stopped for a bit and when he started talking again, his voice was flat, as though he was speaking about someone else.

"I don't think he even used spit, just rammed into me and came. I fought him but he was a lot bigger than me and . . . " His voice trailed off and he turned sideways to bury his face against my chest. I hugged him tightly to me, sick about what that man had done to him, once to the boy he'd been, and again to the man I loved.

"He dropped me off where he'd found me and I made it home. I bled for a week, but I was too damn scared to go to the doctor. A few months later, he tried to pick me up again and this time I let him. I guess I thought if I went voluntarily, I'd have more control over what happened and that was true to some degree; he was a little gentler with me. As time went on, I just fell into it. He gave me money sometimes or took me to Dallas for the weekend. He wasn't around all the time and he didn't bother me about what I did when I wasn't with him, so it worked okay until I met you." He turned to me then with an imploring look on his face.

"Baby, I need to tell you this. I've wanted to for years, but I just couldn't find the right time. Whenever we were together, I just wanted to be with you. I'm sorry, Dean." He looked away and his hands clenched mine tightly. "And I was afraid you'd think that maybe I was like him somehow. Please tell me you're not sitting there wondering what the fuck you're doing with me."

I shook him a little. "You know better. I love you. Nothing you could tell me is gonna change that." I kissed the top of his head as he lay back down.

"You're the second man who's ever fucked me and you'll probably be the last."

"Yeah, I sort of figured. That has always meant a lot to me, even when I didn't know the reason."

We sat for a while longer, then he turned and crawled up me until his nose was three inches from mine. "I could really use a blow job, and I bet you could, too, huh?" He was rubbing my crotch as he spoke and my cock confirmed his guess, hardening quickly in his hand. He smiled and began to kiss me, putting some heat into it, and in seconds, my pants were off and he was running his tongue up the underside of my cock and sucking gently on the head. His lip was too sore for much more than that, but he used his hand too, circling his thumb and middle finger snugly, and it was more than enough to get me off quickly. Sam sat there smiling at me as I tried to get my breath back and stop my legs from trembling.

"Jesus, it's only been four days," I said, shivering as he licked a drop of cum from my belly. He was still dressed, something I remedied quickly, flinging his shirt across the room in my haste to get down to skin. I pushed him back on the couch and knelt on the floor next to him so I could use both hands. His shorts made it to mid-thigh, just enough for me to get my hands on him, cupping his balls in one, and guiding his cock into my mouth with the other. He gasped when I sucked him in and grabbed my head for a moment. I thought he was going to stop me but he was just slowing me down.

I took the hint and reined in my enthusiasm, moving up and down on him in long, deep strokes. Since I'd been the "equipment", I hadn't gotten to enter the deep throat contest, but I would have come in second so I soon had Sam moaning with every plunge. When he got close, I held his cock firmly at the base with one hand and quickly bobbed my head on just the top of his dick, letting my lips catch on the rim. His moans rose in pitch until he was almost wailing, there was a moment of silence, then he grunted deeply and filled my throat, pulsing into my mouth until he was drained.

I gave him a couple minutes, then pulled him to his feet and up to our shower. We stayed under the warm spray, soaping each other and kissing. I got carried away and unthinkingly ran my hand down his back into the crack of his ass like I'd done a thousand times. He stiffened, clenching his butt and flinching away from me. I stopped immediately but he grabbed my arm and kept me close to him as he relaxed.

"It's okay, just caught me by surprise."

"God, I'm sorry. It's just so good to be with you again. I'll leave you alone 'til . . "

"It's okay, babe," he assured me. "Just go easy." He moved into my arms so that my hands were on his back and leaned into me. I soaped him again and slowly rubbed my way down to his butt, cupping his firm cheeks in both hands. I squeezed his ass, sliding one finger gently down the center, pausing to circle his hole very gently, barely touching him. He was relaxed against me, kissing my neck, then I moved on to his arms and shoulders, and soon we were in bed, curled up together.

I worked Saturday morning, catching up on a week's worth of neglect. All the horses were fresh and I rode my ass off trying to stay on them as they gallivanted around the arena. At one point, Sam called and suggested some sort of get together on Sunday. He had spoken with Adam and Cas since the attack, but hadn't seen anyone yet. We settled on a wine and cheese thing and I left him pondering the relative merits of Californian vs. Australian wines, and making a shopping list. Sam had chicken spudini ready for lunch when I got home and life began to feel more normal, something I was thrilled about. I like things comfortable. Not in a rut, but I like being able to count on certain things, and Sam in our kitchen when I got home was one of them.

Saturday afternoon we ran around, buying all sorts of silly stuff for our party. We found cock-and-ball ice cube trays at a novelty shop, and penis pasta at the adult store where we stopped for condoms and lube. I made penis pasta salad when we got home, giggling the entire time, popping little penis pastas into my mouth, then sticking them out at Sam who shook his head at me but came over and sucked one seductively from my lips. That led to sex in the kitchen, a noisy blow job apiece, then we spent an hour moving furniture around so we could have a table each for white wine, red wine, food, and desserts.

Sam had been somewhat quiet all day and I wondered if he was uncomfortable about facing our friends after what had happened to him. Before dinner, we took a long walk around the estates, holding hands, not talking much. As we wandered through the community gardens in the center of the development, Vincent pulled me down onto a bench and took my hand in both of his, running his fingers over the veins on the back of my hand. He was silent for so long that I finally put a finger under his chin, raising his eyes to mine. "You okay?"

He had an odd expression on his face and my heart lurched a little when he said, "I need to ask you something. I'm not sure what you'll think."

I stared at him for a moment, wondering what could have him acting so strangely. "Go ahead."

He swallowed and licked his lips, then turned on the bench so he was facing me. "I want us to make it legal."

I blinked at him. "Texas doesn't allow same-sex marriage," I said stupidly, totaling missing the point.

"I know that, Dean," he said patiently. "I mean I want a commitment ceremony of some kind. I want something between us, something that tells the rest of the world how important you are to me, how much I love you." He looked away for a minute, his eyes wandering unseeingly over the gardens. When he looked back at me, his voice was soft. "I thought he was gonna kill me this time. I couldn't stand the thought that I might die and you'd be alone, without even a piece of paper that validated what I felt for you. I want my ring on your finger, Dean, and I want to wear yours. I've thought a lot about this the last few days and it's important to me."

My voice quavered unsteadily but I was smiling as I said, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

He smiled and gently ran a knuckle up a tear track on my cheek. "Yes, sweetheart, I am. If you'll have me." He gave me back the words I had said to him the night I told him that I loved him and wanted us to be together.

"Oh, God," I sputtered and burst into tears.

He held me until I calmed down a little, sniffling and wiping my nose on the sleeve of my shirt like a kid. "Is that a 'yes'?" he asked.

That set me off again but I bit my tongue hard and managed to get out, "Yes! Yes! God, I'm so happy!" I grabbed him and buried my soggy face in his neck, so incredibly glad that I had followed my heart like Chris had advised me to. Because I'd had the faith to do that, I had this wonderful man who wanted me to be his, forever and ever, amen.

We wandered home in a daze, at least I did, talking about what we wanted to do, who to invite, what kind of rings to buy, who we could get to officiate. We finally decided to have something in the back yard in late spring, when the garden would be coming to life. We each wanted to buy a ring for the other so that it would be a surprise. By the time we got home, we had the guest list up to about 80 people and that was just off the tops of our heads. We had no idea what to do about an official, but I said I'd ask Jesse because I thought Chris had mentioned they'd done something a couple years ago, and he and Ben both wore rings.

The detective called right after dinner and told us that they had no leads on Rand and that it appeared he had left the area. That wasn't surprising but I had no intention of dismissing Jesse's guys from their surveillance of the property until that sick bastard was dead or under lock and key, so we forgot about the call and went to bed early with popcorn and a movie but Sam got bored and I missed a major plot development when my eyes were shut tight as I climaxed into his hand. I gave up on the movie, clicking it off and turning my attention to Sam, sucking a hot load out of him before rolling to my back and pulling him on top of me. He propped himself on his elbows and we looked at each other for a moment.

I smiled at him. "Do you have any idea what you mean to me?" I ran my fingers lightly down his cheek, stopping to caress the corner of his mouth with the pad of my thumb.

He looked deep into my eyes and his face clouded over a little. "Yeah, I think I do, but don't ever stop telling me, or showing me. I love you, Dean. Some days, I still can't believe that we ended up together, like I dreamed about for so long." He fell silent for a moment, then spoke hesitantly. "Are you angry with me now that you know about Rand? Because I didn't tell you sooner?"

I pulled his head down to my chest. "No, baby. The only thing I'm angry about is that he got his hands on you a second time." He nuzzled into my neck and I fell asleep like that, with the warm, comforting weight of Sam's body pinning me to the bed, our soft cocks nestled together. When I woke up several hours later, we had rolled onto our sides but we were still close, my arm over his rib cage and his head bowed down to my chest.

Sunday dawned clear and sunny so we moved the party to the jungle pool. Jesse and Ben came early so Jesse could check on his guys. Adam and Cas arrived and were hugging Sam when Sky got there. Zane and Chris finally showed up, fashionably late. Chris had just gotten back from a week long trip and it was obvious they'd spent some time in bed before coming over; Zane had that just fucked look about him. Still, Chris could barely keep his hands off him and I intercepted several lingering smiles between them as I moved around the party.

I stopped being the host for a moment and found Sam talking to Sky and James near the hot tub. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, kissed the back of his neck and whispered, "It's been two whole hours since I told you that I love you. I don't want you to forget."

He smiled and leaned back into me, reaching around to grip my thighs with his strong hands, flexing his fingers into me as he turned his head to kiss my mouth. "I'll never forget."

When it cooled off, we ended up sprawled around the living room. Zane was on the floor, leaning back between Chris's legs, his arms wrapped up around Chris's knees. Cas lay on his back on the floor with his head in Sky's lap. Adam sat in a chair at Cas's feet and played footsie with him. Sam and I took the couch, my legs across his lap as I leaned back against the arm. We talked a little about the lack of progress in Sam's case, then moved on to Zane's chances in the cutting horse nationals next February. We decided to make a long weekend of it, all of us driving to Amarillo on Friday morning and staying at Zane's dad's place.

Several days later, we went out to dinner. Sam was quiet on the way home, but reached for my hand and held it as I drove through the dark neighborhood. As we got near the community garden, he squeezed my fingers.

"Stop for a minute."

When I pulled over and killed the engine, he opened his door and hitched his chin at me. "Come on." I followed him into the garden and dropped down onto 'our' bench next to him. "I've got something for you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box. He turned it toward me and flipped up the lid. Even in the dim glow of the garden lights, I could see the dull gleam of gold. I looked at him in surprise.

"I thought we were gonna wait 'til the ceremony."

"We are. I guess engagement rings are more a 'straight' thing, but I needed to do something now. This is part of the set I'm having made." He took it from the box and slipped it on the third finger of my left hand. It was narrow and engraved with a design that I couldn't make out in the low light of the garden.

"It's a Celtic vine. Endless, like us." His intense eyes looked at me solemnly and I lost it.

"Damn it, all I ever do in this garden is cry," I whimpered through clenched teeth as tears trickled down my face. "It's beautiful, Sam. Thank you."

He held my hand, his fingers running over the ring and we sat there 'til we got chilly, then drove home to hot chocolate in the den. Sam lay on his side in front of the fire, staring into the flames. I was sitting on the floor leaning against the couch, my feet in the small of his back. He spoke softly. "This has been a big year for us. Getting together, living together, getting engaged . . ." he turned and smiled at me as I admired my ring.

We went up to bed and when I came out of the bathroom, Sam was face down on the bed. My heart stopped for an instant as my mind flashed back to that awful day, but then I recognized his signature invitation and began to breathe again. I stepped closer and looked down at him. His ass was round and perfect, rising up from the base of his back. Between his spread legs, his balls squashed out on either side of his semi-hard cock, which was pointing toward his toes. I could just see the darker promise of his hole in the shadowed cleft of his ass, and the sight of him offering himself to me sent every drop of blood in my body directly to my cock. I crawled up between his legs and lay my weight down on him, rubbing my face along his, running my hands down his arms until our fingers laced.

"You sure?" I whispered and he nodded, eyes closed. "I'll be real gentle, sweetheart, but tell me if you want me to stop." I worked my way slowly down, trailing my tongue along his shoulders, stopping to kiss the burn scars. He had decided not to have corrective surgery and the dark little indentations marred the otherwise smooth skin of his back. I kissed and nibbled on his butt for a while, wanting him to be as comfortable as possible before I got really intimate with him. When I parted his ass and slid my tongue down his crack, he moaned softly and arched up to me.

I played a long time with my mouth, licking from his pucker up to his balls, sucking my way back down. Each time I pushed my tongue into him, he groaned and twisted his body, trying to get closer to me, until he was on his knees with his face in the sheets. The smell and taste of him had me so hard it hurt and I squeezed my cock in one hand as I rimmed him, knowing that soon I'd be sinking it deep inside him. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and pulled back, pushing him down onto the bed again.

I lubed us both really well and very slowly pushed one finger a little way into him. Sam held his breath for a moment, and I stopped until he exhaled and began breathing evenly again. As my finger slid the rest of the way in, he lifted his hips to take it deeper. After a few minutes and two fingers, he pulled away from me and rolled onto his back. I thought he had changed his mind and began to crawl up onto him, but he pushed me back down and raised his knees. I looked at him in surprise; he had never let me take him this way. He smiled at me a little. "I want to see you," he said softly. I leaned down and kissed him passionately, my rigid cock smacking wetly up against my belly with each thrust of his tongue.

I scooted up close to him and angled my hips to bring us together. As I pressed the head of my penis to him, I watched his face for signs of discomfort. He swallowed once, then tugged on my knees, coaxing me forward. I pushed gently into him, stopping once, until the head of my cock passed through. Vincent closed his eyes for a moment and took a couple deep breaths. I didn't move until he looked up at me again. As I slid into him, we watched each other. His eyes narrowed slightly as I sank deeper and my jaw tightened at the incredible feel of him, hot and smooth and tight.

"Oh, baby, you feel so good. I like being able to kiss you." I leaned forward and did just that. We fucked slowly for a long time, neither of us wanting to bring things to an end too soon. When we finally did get going, I braced my arms on either side of his chest and used the full swing of my hips to stroke him with my entire cock. He took it for about two minutes, then his face contorted and he shot all over his chest and stomach. I only made it through his first two blasts, then slipped out of him and added my load to the hot cum spattered all over him.

"Jesus Christ!" Sam chuckled when he had enough breath. "Don't tell me - let me guess. Engagement sex, right?" I snorted and we staggered into the shower.

That was the end of August. He had the first nightmare three days later.

The first few were just bad dreams. I'd wake up to the sound of Sam muttering to himself or whimpering a little. The touch of my hand running down his arm would quiet him and he'd fall back into a sound sleep.

One night I awoke to an empty bed and went quietly down to find him curled into a chair in the library. He was staring out the window with one arm crossed up over his chest holding onto his shoulder. After watching him for a few moments, I left him alone, going back to bed to lie there sleepless until he came up a couple hours later, backing into me and pulling my arms around him, then pressing the knuckles of my hand to his mouth. He was breathing a little fast like you do when you're frightened. I held him close and tried to will away the awful feeling that we had a lot more to go through before we were over the attack.

He wasn't eating well either, and looked gaunt and tired. Chris called me one day after a business lunch at Stiva's and asked me what the hell was wrong with Sam. I just said he was having trouble sleeping but nothing serious. I guess I thought if I didn't acknowledge that something more was wrong, it might go away.

The next GP was September 9th in Ohio and we had a pretty good time. The change of scenery seemed to be good for Sam; he didn't have any bad dreams while we were there.

I did well, taking Minx to a 3rd, and managed to get Kahn around cleanly for 2nd, but people were on to me now, and were watching Kahn's rise in the points standings with a wary eye. They could see I was in good form; hungry for another win, and it sharpened everyone up a little.

The following two events were back to back in California. It was with an anxious and heavy heart that I said goodbye to Sam the second Thursday in September and flew off to sunny So Cal without him. Chloe had all sorts of parties planned and wanted me to stay between events. Sam couldn't take that much time away from the restaurants, so he planned to come out for the 2nd weekend, and then we'd fly home together.

Despite Sam's absence, I was looking forward to riding since I'd done so well at the first one. Well, pride goeth before a fall, and this GP was a disaster. Minx took down three fences in a row and I excused myself from the ring, afraid there was something more wrong with her than just feeling lazy. Carlos looked her over thoroughly, and other than a slightly elevated temperature, she seemed fine.

Kahn had a terrible day too, skittering sideways between every jump, bucking a couple times, and finally charging through a wispy vertical like he didn't even see it. One of the rails whipped around sideways when he plowed through it, whacking me in the side. The impact knocked me forward, half out of the saddle, while we were still in the air and the jolt of landing finished the job; I somersaulted forward to land flat on my back beneath Kahn's iron-shod feet. Luckily, he missed stepping directly on me, but one of his rear hooves clipped my hip as he passed over me.

I ended up with badly bruised ribs from the rail, the breath knocked out of me by the fall, and a huge, painful purple knot on my hip. I walked off the course to standing applause, but we couldn't continue, so we got a big fat DNF for our efforts. Two DNFs after winning the week before really sucked and I was in a vile mood as the medics poked and prodded me.

They finally let me go and I limped back to our barn area, grumpily assuring everyone that I would live.

I called Sam to let him know what happened before someone else gave him the news, but after a few tries, I couldn't reach him, which pissed me off even more. Finally, I left a curt message saying I'd fallen, but wasn't badly hurt. I thought that would get his attention. I spent most of the next day in bed.

Sam didn't call me until late afternoon. By then I was angry, and so sore I could hardly get out of bed, but I was up and dressing for a cocktail party that Chloe had arranged. I was bitchy to him until the concern in his voice registered and I backed off a little. He made me put my right hand on the hotel bible and swear that I was all right, which I did, knowing that if the situation were reversed, I'd be frantic with worry. He didn't offer any explanation for where he'd been or what had taken him so damn long to call me back, so I wasn't much happier after the call than I'd been before.

I hung out with Cas that week, very tempted to console myself with one of his satisfying blow jobs, but managed to keep it to the occasional make out session, one of which had us both leaking through our trousers before yet another party. We changed and headed off arm in arm, got shit faced, and ended the night in my bed where we slept curled up together like puppies, both of us too drunk and depressed to get in trouble. He was missing Adam and I ached for Sam, although I could have cheerfully strangled him by now. His daily calls were very unsatisfying, which meant I was pretty fucking miserable to be around that week.

After a couple days, the worst of the pain was gone; just my ribs hurt when I laughed or coughed, so I tried hard not to do either.

Saturday morning Sam called me and was very subdued. After a little small talk, he told me that he couldn't get free to come out after all. I got a shiver of goose bumps up my arms at the sound of his voice. I knew that it wasn't work that was preventing him from joining me. When he was finished talking, I was silent, unable to hide my disappointment. He apologized, told me he'd call me tomorrow night, and said goodbye as quickly as possible without actually hanging up on me. I just sat on the bed and stared at the wall. Every instinct I had told me to jump on a plane and get home to him, but I couldn't possibly walk out on Chloe with the GP less than 24 hours away.

I got through the cocktail party that night, although I'm sure everyone thought I was having a delayed reaction to the fall. I couldn't string three words together coherently. Cas came back to the room with me again, getting me out of my party clothes and into bed. He crawled in with me and pulled me close, nuzzling my neck and rubbing my chest softly, but I didn't sleep much. Breakfast was three cups of coffee and by the time I got out to the show grounds, I was shaky and sick. Chloe took one look at me and sat me down in the tack room, force-feeding me a sandwich from the catered luncheon in the clubhouse. I choked it down and felt better, but nothing was going to cure me except Sam's hard body in my arms.

Carlos taped the shit out of my ribs and I took a couple Naproxen, which took care of the stabbing pains and left only the minor aches for me to contend with.

The actual jumping went better than I expected, given that I was only marginally with the program. Minx was back to her usual reliable self and came home 3rd. Kahn must have felt bad about last week because he was totally tuned into me and took me around the course fast and clean in both the GP and the jump-off. There was only one place in the jump-off course that I could cut a corner. It was really tight and I almost didn't bother, but Kahn felt so good that I took the chance, giving him only two strides with a sharp angle to get over a wide oxer. He leapt like a rabbit, twisting in the air to make up for the weird approach, and pounded between the finish cones in record time. We wound up winning. Cas came in second.

Chloe was overjoyed at another win and I was pretty happy, too, when I wasn't thinking about whatever was the matter at home. I took it easy on the champagne this time, having one glass with Chloe, Cas, and Carlos. Then I switched to water. Sam called that night, full of congratulations, sweet talking me a little, and he almost seemed like the man I loved again.

The flight home Monday was smooth, and soon I was pulling into our driveway. Sam's car was there and as I opened the trunk to get my bag, he stepped out onto the porch.

I did a double take; his face was lined and gray like he'd been sick for a month. I just stood there by the back of the car staring at him as he came to me.

"Jesus, Sam, what's wrong?"

He gave a shrug. "I can't sleep for shit when you're not here. I miss you too much."

He stepped close and I wrapped my arms around him. He seemed thinner to me now as I hugged him tight, wishing with everything I had, that we could roll back time to the day he was attacked.

I'd have left work earlier that day, or called him to come take me to dinner; anything to keep him out of the house that evening, but I couldn't do that, so I concentrated on comforting him because it made me feel better too, and we both desperately needed some comforting right now.

He had one bad dream that week, but rolled over on his own and went back to sleep.

He cheered up a little with me home and we flew off to Pennsylvania on October 12th in hopes of having a nice long weekend away from our troubles. We hooked up with Cas Friday night after yet another party, and the three of us ended up going to Cas's room. Sam wanted to be fucked; I could tell by the way he rubbed his ass against me as we were getting undressed, but that was something we'd done only in private, so I wasn't sure how he wanted to play this.

Once we were naked, I dropped to my knees in front of them, taking one cock in my mouth and the other in my hand. Once I'd gotten them both slippery with my mouth, I could stroke one while blowing the other. Going back and forth was interesting. I must have gotten it right because soon Sam was pumping into me and moaning. Cas finally dragged me up by the ears and pulled me back onto the bed with him, rolling so that I landed on the bottom. He turned around and planted his ass over my face while Sam straddled my legs, sucking my dick up in one big slurp. I licked Cas's balls and worked my tongue into his hole while he helpfully held my dick upright for Sam to suck.

Before long, Sam had me rigidly hard and I felt him move into position over my cock. I had my hands full of Cas, moaning into his ass while I slid slowly into Sam. He was on his feet, knees bent in a deep squat, holding onto Cas's shoulders as he lowered himself. In all our years together, we'd never done it this way and I was amazed at how different it felt. Cas moved back on me a little, bending over to take Sam's cock in his mouth and aiming his at me.

All our dicks were happy with this arrangement and we gradually built up to three first class orgasms. Cas lifted out of my mouth and came on my chest, then Sam shot onto my belly, and finally I pushed Sam off and blasted my load into the middle of it all. Satiated, we hopped in the shower, and climbed back into bed. I made sure I was in the middle so that if Sam had a bad dream, I could sooth him out of it before Cas woke up.

I hadn't talked to anyone about our problems yet and I was sure Sam hadn't. I was still foolishly hoping things would smooth out on their own.

Sunday was clear and sunny with a huge noisy crowd in the stands. I packed Kahn's ears so full of cotton that he probably wouldn't be able to hear me either, but I didn't want him distracted by all those people. Kahn went before Minx this time and he gave me a good ride, making it into the jump-off. Minx got four faults when she took down the top brick on a solid vertical. Aside from Kahn, only Cas's horse went clean, so Kahn was assured of at least 2nd. The jump-off course had two places to shave off time, but they were pretty obvious and Cas took advantage of both of them, coming in with a really quick time. Kahn and I gave it hell, but Cas was a couple ticks of the clock quicker and we ended up taking 2nd with Minx 4th.

With two events left, the points race was heating up. Cas was leading with me in 2nd on Kahn and, on Minx, a respectable 4th. I still had a mathematical chance of winning the whole thing, but Cas had a good horse this year and he was a strong rider, so I'd have to be lucky as well as good to beat him. The three of us flew home together, snuggling up on Chloe's little jet to nap off the late night we spent celebrating with her, Cas's owner, and all their rich, crazy pals.

Life was fairly normal after we got back, but Sam continued to sleep restlessly.

One moonlit night he was more agitated than usual and I lay there listening to him moan and mutter before propping myself up on an elbow to reach for him. He came up swinging, the knuckles of his right hand catching me in the mouth, splitting my bottom lip open and spraying blood across the sheets. A second later, his left fist crashed into the side of my face and I saw stars. I rolled away from him and off the bed, scooting backward on my butt, holding one hand to my gushing lip. He awoke with a start and looked down at me. He knelt there for a moment, breathing harshly, then crawled off the bed and came toward me with an outstretched hand.

God forgive me, I flinched away from him. I knew he hadn't hit me on purpose, but I was shaking with reaction and I just did it without thinking. He moaned then, the low awful sound of a wounded animal, and ran from the room.

I grabbed the box of tissues off the bedside table and mopped up my face a little, waiting 'til I quit shaking so badly and could think. Finally, I walked carefully downstairs to the kitchen, not looking for him, not seeing him anywhere. I put some ice in a baggie, wrapped a towel around it and slumped into a chair, holding it to my throbbing face. I don't know how long I sat there, but the sky was beginning to lighten when I turned to see him watching me from the doorway to the hall. The misery on his face hurt me worse than his fists had; I laid the ice on the table and crossed the room into his open arms. He folded me gently to him, one hand on the back of my neck, and rocked me silently as the kitchen brightened into a new day.

He walked us to the patio doors and took a careful look at my face in the light, something I hadn't done yet. His jaw muscles clenched tightly, but that was his only reaction. He led me to the den and we lay on the couch for a long time, curled together but not talking. I was scared to death by what was happening to us. The psychiatrist we'd spoken to a few times had felt that Sam would not have any lasting emotional issues, but it seemed as though he was wrong.

I got through the day, but barely. I went to work and spent most of the time in my office staring at the wall, wondering what the hell to do. My only real hope was the shrink, but I didn't have a whole lot of faith in him at this point. When I walked in the back door that evening, Sam was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me.

"Dean, I need to talk to you."

Is there a sentence spoken between lovers more laden with foreboding than that one? One that makes your stomach flip over backward and brings a clammy sweat to your palms? It's never good, and tonight was no exception. He stood up and came to me, holding me by the shoulders, looking into my face with haunted eyes.

"I need to leave for a while. I have to get this behind me and I think maybe I can find him." He hugged me tight.

I started to shake and the knot that had been in my stomach for weeks clenched its fist tightly.

"Nooo," I moaned. "Don't go. Not now." I pulled back and looked at him, begging him with my eyes not to do this to us. "Don't leave me. Please."

He dropped his head, staring at my chest for a long moment, and then slowly raised his face to mine.

"I have to. I'm not gonna take the chance of hurting you again."

"You're hurting me now." He looked away. It was a cruel thing to say, but I was falling apart inside, willing to try anything to keep him with me.

"I'll call you every night." He paused, steadying his voice. "I love you and I'll be back. I promise you, I'll be back, Dean."

He pushed me gently away and I followed him to the front hall where he had a bag packed and waiting. He kissed me gently and walked out the door, pulling it quietly shut behind him. I pressed my forehead to the hard wood, leaning on my spread hands and listened to the sound of Sam's car fade away.

Then I walked carefully upstairs, buried my face in his shirt from yesterday, and curled up on his side of the bed, too numb to cry.

After an hour I got up long enough to call Jesse, then went back to bed and lay there wide awake all night, staring into the dark, empty corners of the room, which matched the feelings in my heart.

So began the most desolate time of my life. With Sam gone, the house was empty and so was I. He was everywhere I looked. His jewelry was on the dresser, a constant reminder that he wasn't there to wear it. Maria cooked in the pans he'd brought with him when he moved in. I ate whatever she put in front of me and five minutes later couldn't have told you what it was. I lay alone on the couch where we'd spent so much time loving each other. I wore his clothes, and thought of him day and night.

It was better at work because there was enough to do that I could go for an entire hour without thinking about him, wondering where he was, if he was okay. I knew he hadn't gone back to his apartment above the restaurant because I drove by there the first few days and never saw the BMW.

As much as I wanted to, I avoided calling Jesse for updates. As much as I wanted Rand obliterated from Sam's mind, I knew it was something that only Sam could do for himself. As much as I wanted to rip Rand's ass from stem to stern for what he'd done to Sam and me, I knew I couldn't be the hero in this mess. As much as I wanted anything, I wanted Sam to come home happy, loving, and healthy.

I took to staying at work late into the evening, checking on the horses, polishing saddles, straightening up the tack rooms; mindless stuff that I could do while letting every memory I had of the two of us run through my head. The one I kept coming back to was the night we met eight years ago.

It had started innocently enough in late August as an evening with Adam and a couple of his buddies from law school. I had just won another Gran Prix and felt like celebrating so I'd made reservations at a nice Italian place called Stiva's. We'd eaten there when I was a kid, but I didn't remember it. I'd heard it was good, owned by the same family for 50 years or something.

We arrived and I gave my name to the maitre d'. He ran his finger down the long list, then looked up at me with faint disapproval on his face. "I'm afraid you must be mistaken, sir. We have no reservation for Winchester."

"I called three days ago and spoke to a woman. Check again, please." He zipped down the list in record time, raised cool eyes to me, and shook his head. I looked at him for a moment.

"Get the manager, please." I gave him as steely a stare as a 22-year-old can manage, and after a moment, he turned on his heel, threaded his way through the tables and disappeared into the kitchen. A moment later, a man in chef's whites came striding through the restaurant and stopped in front of me. He was tall, dark and handsome.

"Good evening. I'm Samuel Stivaletti. I'm very sorry your reservation was misplaced but we're completely booked for this evening. May we reserve a table you for another night?"

I eyed him for a moment. "But we're here _now_, aren't we?"

"And I can't materialize a free table out of thin air." He stopped for a moment, reining in his impatience. "Please choose another evening and it will be on the house. Once again, I apologize for the error."

He held out his hand to me and I shook it, feeling the hard warmth of his palm against mine. I glanced up to see him looking at me intently. Adam and the other guys had turned away and were heading for the door. I pulled my hand free and followed them, and as I stepped outside, I looked back for a second; he was staring at me as the door closed between us.

We got into the car and were almost out of the parking lot when I shoved my door open and hopped out. I looked at Adam.

"I've gotta go back. I have to talk to him again. Go on, I'll see you later."

I slammed the door and walked away before they could object. I reached the restaurant door just as they drove away, so I sat down on a bench outside and thought for a bit. This wasn't me. Usually, when I saw a guy who interested me, by the time I glanced at him a second time, he was already approaching me. I simply had no experience in picking someone up, but I knew I needed to see him again.

I went inside and took a deep breath before walking up to the maitre d'.

"Please get Samuel for me. I need to speak with him for a moment." He treated me to a grim look. "Please." I gave him as non-threatening an expression as I could before he stalked off. I wandered nervously over to the wall and began looking at the various framed newspaper reviews all proclaiming Stiva's as _the _place to eat.

He came around the corner quickly and stopped a few feet away, raising an expressive eyebrow inquiringly. I immediately forgot everything I had planned to say as I looked into those green, blue, gold eyes. He gazed steadily back at me, no help whatsoever.

"Can I . . . can I buy you a drink?" I stammered. God, could I get any more lame?

His other eyebrow rose to join the first. "In my own restaurant?"

He owned the place? Jesus, he didn't look older than me. I blew out a breath and gave up; I was obviously no good at this. I raised a hand in a gesture of surrender and turned away from him, but I didn't get far. He grabbed my hand out of the air and pulled it to his chest, bringing me with it. I came to a stop about a foot from his face.

"Save your money. I'll buy you one." He spoke softly, his voice deep, and then towed me back through the kitchen door. Just inside he turned to me, put a spread hand on my chest and pushed me gently back onto a tall wooden stool. "Don't move." I settled back against the cool white tile wall and hooked my heels over the rungs, the imprint of his hand warm on my chest.

As he walked away, he snapped out some Italian to one of the guys making salads at the long stainless table to my right and in a moment I had a glass of red wine, a basket of bread, and a little plate of olives, meats and cheeses they used on the antipasto salads. The guy who brought me the food was as good looking as Samuel. He stuck out a hand and gave me a big white smile.

"Vincent, Sam's cousin." I thanked him, then settled down to nibble and watch Sam. I had never been in the kitchen of a large busy restaurant and it was impressive. There were at least twenty people cooking, stirring, serving, and swearing. Sam stood at a huge stove, three or four pans going at once, flames leaping up, handing out orders left and right to the scurrying help.

Things slowed a little at one point and he walked over to me, stepping just into the V of my spread knees. He swiped an olive from my plate and slid it into his mouth, chewing slowly as he looked me over. I was holding a piece of bread in one hand; he gripped my wrist, bringing the bread to his mouth and took a big bite, washing it down with a sip of my wine, never taking his eyes off mine. I had the glass sitting on the seat of the stool between my legs and when he reached for the stem, the back of his hand brushed the fabric of my crotch. I flinched a little and he gave me a steamy look before carefully replacing the glass without touching me.

He walked away and I closed my eyes for a second, willing my cock to settle down, but it wasn't listening and continued to thicken despite my best efforts at thinking of everything but the feel of Sam's knuckles on my balls. I wiggled around for a minute, but finally had to stand up and make an adjustment as casually as I could.

Sam chose that moment to glance at me and his gaze dropped to my hand as I straightened out my stiff cock. The muscles of his jaw tightened and he lifted his eyes to mine, his expression unreadable. After another half hour, during which my dick leaked through my pants, requiring me to keep a napkin draped across my lap, he handed off the stove to another guy, and came over to me.

He stood between my knees again, a little closer than last time, and spoke quietly. "I live upstairs."

I looked up at him and nodded, not trusting myself to speak. We walked back through the kitchen, out a door, then turned and went up a flight of stairs. He stood aside after he opened the door and let me pass through ahead of him. It was a charming apartment, full of old family furniture, homey and comfortable. I turned slowly in a circle, a smile spreading over my face.

"This is great," I said, turning toward him. While I'd been circling, he had come up behind me and I turned right into his arms. He held me loosely, his hands clasped in the small of my back. I gripped his upper arms and leaned back slightly to look at him, a little nervous now that I was actually alone with him. He was an inch or two taller than me, which I liked. He studied my face for several moments, stopped at my mouth briefly, then came back to my eyes.

"Kiss me, Dean." he said softly.

I licked my lips and swallowed, then tilted my face up to his and kissed him with my mouth closed. He opened his eyes when I pulled back, touching his tongue to the middle of his lower lip, then leaned forward and kissed my jaw, then the little hollow behind my ear, then my neck. My eyes dropped shut and I moaned softly. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and tightened the other at my hips, pulling me close against him. Taking advantage of my open-mouthed moan, he kissed me, exploring my mouth thoroughly while I hung in his arms. He kissed better than any man I'd ever been with, slow and thoughtful, gentle but insistent, and I could feel the promise of his teeth behind the soft pressure of his lips.

When he broke the kiss and pulled back to look at me, I was totally out of it and he chuckled softly, pushing me onto the couch. He dropped to his knees between my legs and began to unbutton my shirt, taking his time and kissing every new bit of exposed skin.

By the time he got to my belt, I was breathing hard and reaching for him, but he pushed me back and proceeded to slowly strip me naked. When he had me laying there with my iron hard dick throbbing in the breeze, he stood and raked his eyes up and down me very slowly, smiling slightly, then undressed and lowered himself onto me.

As his erect penis touched mine for the first time, I began to climax in big gasping spasms that jerked my body underneath him. He groaned deeply and held me tight, thrusting several times into the warm slickness between us before grunting his way through a hard orgasm, adding his load to mine.

He lowered his forehead to my shoulder and nuzzled into my neck, getting his breath back. It had felt wonderful but I was mortified. God, I had cum like a horny teenager, shooting before we even got started. When I tried to roll away from him, he realized something was wrong and grabbed my jaw in firm fingers, forcing my face to him.

I clamped my eyes shut, too embarrassed to look at him. Sam was silent for a moment, and then chuckled again, making me feel stupider than ever.

"Open your eyes." I shook my head and he laughed aloud. "Dean. Look at me, please." I just lay there. "That's the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me." I cracked one eye open; he was smiling warmly at me from about four inches away.

"Was I that good?" he asked with a grin. I opened the other eye and nodded, starting to smile a little. He cracked up and kissed me, sobering as he did, until we were locked together again.

He bit my bottom lip gently before backing off. "Do you have any idea how fuckin' hot that was? No one's ever responded to me like that. And I couldn't wait either, not once you shot." He slid off and took me by the hand, not letting go until we were in the shower together, hot water cascading over us as we soaped each other. He dried me off, making a production out of it, and we lay down on his big bed on our sides, facing each other, knees bumping.

"You okay?" he asked me, running a hand over my short damp hair.

I nodded. "I don't usually do that," I muttered. "But watching you in the kitchen, the way you kissed me, then when you undressed me on the couch; it all just built up, I guess. I almost came in the kitchen when you picked up my wine glass."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I really didn't mean to touch you; just one of those happy accidents." He chuckled again. "The look on your face . . . "

"Yes, I'm sure it was priceless," I muttered, my dignity still smarting from my lack of control on the couch.

Sam began kissing me again, those long, slow kisses that tugged at something in the pit of my stomach. He worked his way down me, taking his time, bypassing my cock to lick my balls, sucking one into his mouth now and then, rolling it with his tongue. Eventually he slid to the top of my cock, flicking at my slit for a moment, then plunging down to bury me in his throat.

I came off the bed with a gasp, grabbing his head as he was coming back up. I held him still for a long minute, determined to last 'til he did this time. He eased up a little, sucking me softly for a long time, nipping at the skin of my belly and running his hands over my chest, pinching a nipple occasionally.

"Ready to cum for me again?" he murmured.

"Ohhhh, God," I moaned, not exactly an answer to his question but it seemed to be sufficient. He rose to his knees, pushed my legs back, and scooted up to my ass, wrapping both hands around our joined cocks. He began a quick steady rhythm of thrusting into his tight hands, and the ridge around the head of his cock dragging along my dick got me off in just a couple minutes.

This orgasm was much better, longer and more complex, a rolling sensation that he read perfectly, letting my response guide the intensity of his movements. He started to shoot just a stroke or two after I did. The pulsing of our cocks against each other in the firm grip of his fists was unreal.

"You . . . are . . . incredible," I panted out as he crawled up to kiss my neck. He rolled over and picked up the phone, dialed two numbers, asked for Tony, then spoke for a moment in Italian, laughing at something Tony said.

He rolled back to me. "I hope you're hungry." Now that he mentioned it, I was starving. I'd had dinner reservations for four hours ago and had eaten only some olives and bread since, plus a glass of wine that had obviously gone straight to my head. He slid out of bed, hitching his chin at me. "Come on."

I followed him into the kitchen where a mechanical noise had me looking around curiously. He pointed at a small door in the wall. "My grandparents built this place and lived here until just a few years ago. He put in a dumb waiter so he wouldn't have to walk down stairs every time he wanted something to eat." Just then there was a faint 'ding' and he stepped forward to slide the door up, revealing a large tray.

Handing me the bottle of wine and two glasses, Sam lifted the tray high on one hand and walked back to the bedroom where he sat the tray in the middle of the bed and climbed in to sit cross-legged next to it. I handed him the wine and one glass, then joined him, sitting on the other side. As he lifted the lids one by one, I saw that we were sampling just about everything Stiva's had to offer. There were small portions of spaghetti, lasagna, ravioli, some odd shaped noodles in Alfredo sauce, several dishes I couldn't identify, a big basket of warm bread, and one of Vincent's large antipasto salads.

I shook my head as I looked at all that food for just the two of us. "What, no desert?"

"You're desert," he replied, sliding his eyes down to my soft cock, at rest on the wrinkled pillow of my scrotum.

That shut me up, and I handed him the cork screw, waggling my glass at him. He removed the cork with a flourish, presenting it to me for approval as he bowed slightly. I sniffed it as pretentiously as I could, trying unsuccessfully to stifle my giggles, and nodded my acceptance.

After he filled our glasses, he held his up for a toast, gazing warmly at me. "To a one of a kind evening. May it become an equally memorable morning." Evidently I wasn't going home tonight.

I clinked my glass to his and we drank, and then fell on the food like wolves. He fed me olives, sliding his finger along my lip with each one, and I tore off bits of bread to pop into his mouth. On the third one, he lunged forward slightly and grabbed my fingers gently in his teeth. I shrieked with surprise, then clapped a hand over my mouth, laughing so hard I could barely sit up. The entire meal was like that - fun, silly, sexy.

Finally, I groaned and flopped back on the bed, unable to eat another bite. He took the tray to the kitchen and came back to curl up behind me, pulling the sheet over us. He snugged me back into him, wedged his soft dick into my butt with a quiet 'mmmmm', and slid his hand up to rest on my chest, his fingers spread over my heart. I looked out into the dark of the room as I dozed off, so glad that I had followed my hunch.

Dawn was just beginning to lighten the room when Sam woke me by getting out of bed. I heard him in the bathroom, peeing, then brushing his teeth. When he came back, he crawled onto my side of the bed and bit my shoulder hard enough to make me yip.

"Go do whatever you have to, and get your ass back here. I have plans for it." With that promise ringing in my head, I staggered into the john, noticing that he had put out a new toothbrush for me. When I got back to bed, he was lying on his back, hands behind his head, legs spread slightly, and I stopped to look at him in the early morning light.

He was hard and buff, the muscles of his legs, belly and chest well defined, his shoulder muscles bunched from the position of his arms. His skin was bronze all over, his penis darker, and his smooth scrotum darkest of all. The darkness of his skin made the pillow appear stark white, like his teeth in the big smile he gave me.

As I crawled across the bed, he pushed me over so that my back was to him. He turned to face the foot of the bed and began kissing and licking his way down my back. As his tongue slid into the valley of my ass, I knew I was in trouble again. There isn't much that winds me up more than a tongue or a finger inside me, and I had a delicious feeling that's where this was headed.

The wet warmth of his mouth zeroed in on my pucker, long, slow licks that I could hear as well as feel, the slight texture of his tongue providing the perfect friction on the billion nerve endings there. I buried my face in the pillow and did long division in my head, trying not to squirm back into his face every time he darted the tip of his tongue into me.

After a few minutes of that, Sam pushed me onto my belly, shoved a pillow under my hips, and got serious about it. I struggled to hang on to some sort of dignity but ended up with my knees as far apart as I could get them, and my ass in the air, groaning aloud with every move he made. One time he bit the back of my thigh, high up, and I thought it was all over, but he squeezed my balls hard enough to make my eyes cross and I was able to back away from the edge.

"Dean?"

"Please..."

He chuckled. "I guess you're ready." He rolled me onto my back, making sure I ended up with the pillow under my butt, and I heard the 'pop' of a snap top, then liquid warmth as he drizzled lube all over my groin like frosting on a cinnamon roll. He used both hands to slather it around, coating himself in the process, and before I knew it, he had slid a hard finger into me. I felt every knuckle go in, quivering a little as I pulled my knees back into my armpits.

He slowed down then, moving his other hand over me, stroking my cock a few times, rolling my balls in his palm. His second finger felt great and I began to move with him, pressing into his hand, and by the third one, we were both whimpering each time he pushed in.

"You okay with this?" he panted out as he rubbed the head of his cock up and down my ass, the slippery sound of it arousing me even more.

"Yes!" I cried urgently, desperate for him to get inside me. "Yes!"

He pushed short and hard, one time, and popped in. My second 'yes' was an octave higher than the first as the initial twinge of his entry jolted through me. His cock was fatter than his three fingers and it took me a moment to adjust to him. I gripped his thighs hard and he held still until I relaxed, then began short strokes that carried him a little deeper each time 'til he was buried in me, his pubes scrubbing my butt. He dropped forward onto braced arms, head hanging, resting there as his breathing slowed.

Sam began moving again with slow, deliberate strokes that made use of every inch of his cock. I could feel the thick veins of his penis gliding along the nerve-rich skin of my hole. He took his time, thrusting into me with a long 'ahhhhh', silently inhaling on the outstroke. I'd only been screwed by a couple guys other than Adam; most of my sexual activity to this point of my 22 years consisted of blow jobs and the occasional finger fuck or rim job.

So I'd never been fucked by someone like Sam, someone who knew what he was doing and who was able to tailor the experience to the man he was with. He paid attention as he changed tempos, stroke lengths, and angles, coming back to what I most responded to. He slowed when I began to quicken, increased his pace when I moaned for more, keeping me at a high level of arousal that took me to another plane entirely. I quit thinking about anything but the feel of him, the way he smelled, the sounds our bodies made together.

I stroked myself steadily as he moved in me, feeling my cock harden slightly in my fist each time he pushed into me. I lost track of time, but finally his breathing increased along with the speed of his strokes and he leaned down to kiss me. "I want us to cum together. Tell me when you're close."

He angled his hips and glided across my prostate with every thrust, watching my face carefully, tuned into me like I'd never had anyone do before. When my expression tightened, he said, "Do it, I'm ready."

I nodded once and let go, feeling him swell within me as I cried out loudly with each shot and trembled between, as the next one built up. He was right there with me, pumping into me steadily until he slowly let himself down onto me, his arms shaky and his breathing ragged.

"Thank Christ I've got the day off." he muttered. "I'm gonna need it."

We spent the day together, driving into the city for an afternoon of wandering the streets, window shopping, browsing in old book stores and junk shops, having coffee at a sidewalk café. We stopped for dinner at a little Mexican place he knew that had no menus; you just got whatever they had decided to make that day. It was very small, only five tables in what looked like their living room, and the food was incredible. We ate by candlelight, talking about our work, our families, nothing special. By the time we got back to his apartment, I was in love.

He led me upstairs and took me to bed, very gently this time, kissing me a lot and looking into my face as he brought us to two more orgasms each, one of them with nothing but those slow, wet kisses and a finger performing magic tricks inside my ass. He touched my cock only the last ten seconds of that encounter, sliding his knuckle slowly down the underside of my penis three times before I erupted into a gushing flow of cum.

He gave me a ride back to my folk's place about midnight, holding me for a long time, waiting until I was safely in the house before driving away. When his tail lights were out of sight, I sat down in the big overstuffed chair that we'd had as long as I could remember. Last night and today had been wonderful. Sam was incredible in bed, pushing all my buttons more accurately and with more finesse than anyone ever had, but he was interesting out of bed, too, someone I wanted to spend more time with.

We hadn't discussed our personal lives much, although I did toss out that I wasn't serious about anyone by saying that I didn't mind all the travel, since I had no real reason to stay around home. He said nothing of the sort, leaving me to wonder if I was just a one night thing for him, an over-eager diversion who had shot within ten seconds of getting naked. After my initial humiliation, we had been good together, in sync in bed and out, and I hoped he'd remember that when (if?) he thought about me.

I flew off for three weeks, hitting big shows in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and New York before finally dragging my tired ass out to the curb in front of the airport at noon on a Tuesday, looking for my dad's car. As I was cursing him for being late, I spotted a familiar figure. Sam was lounging against the fender of a blue truck, thumbs hooked into the front pockets of faded old jeans, fingers pointing toward his cock, in a snug white t-shirt that showed off his chest, with the tight peaks of his nipples visible from where I was standing.

Jesus, he was hot. He was watching me, and I just stared at him for a moment, sure that I was seeing things, thinking what a coincidence that he was picking someone up at the same time I happened to be coming home. I said I was tired, okay?

He finally smiled at me, lifted one hand, and crooked his index finger at me a couple times in a 'come here' gesture. I hauled my suitcase and gear bag over to the truck and watched while he tossed them in the bed. When he turned back to me, he chuckled at my stupefied expression.

"I called your dad. He told me when you were coming in. Hope you don't mind, but I'm kidnapping you for a couple days. You don't have to leave 'til Thursday, right?" I nodded. "Good. Get in."

Sam opened the door for me and as we left the airport, he settled a hand onto my thigh and left it there as we drove to Stiva's. Once we were up in the apartment, he pulled me to him in a warm hug, rubbing his face up and down my neck with his characteristic 'mmmmm'. After I yawned in his face for the 3rd time in a row, he eased back. "You're out on your feet. Sleep for a while and I'll wake you for dinner."

He began to undress me and by the time he pushed me back on the bed and tugged my jeans off my feet, I was out. I woke to late afternoon sun slanting through the window and the heavenly smell of Italian cooking, full of garlic and tomatoes. A long hot shower and freshly brushed teeth had me feeling pretty good.

As I was butt naked bending over putting on clean pants, I felt his presence behind me and took my time getting one foot, then the other, into my jeans, straightening slowly, giving him a show as I wiggled them over my hips, and pulled them up just to where my cock was still hanging out as I turned to him.

His eyes were black, his jaw tight, and I could feel the heat from his smoldering expression clear across the room. He didn't speak, just held out one hand that drew me like a mongoose to a cobra. He cupped the hand around the back of my neck, pulled me to him, and sank into my mouth in a deep, wet kiss that I felt in my testicles. Three weeks apart had done nothing to cool the heat between us, and my jeans were back on the floor in about two seconds, followed by his as he backed me to the bed, pushed me over, and crawled onto me. Ten minutes later we were both covered in cum, staring at the ceiling, panting our way through the recovery stages of two ball-draining orgasms.

After a few minutes, I heard Sam chuckle and turned to see him shaking his head slowly. He rolled his eyes to me and smiled. "Not sure what it is about you." He kissed me. "But I'm really fuckin' glad you're here. Hungry?" Since I'd had nothing but coffee for breakfast and peanuts on the plane, I was famished.

He led me by the hand to a private table for two behind a screen where we could enjoy the ambiance of the main dining room but still have some privacy. The always-smiling Vincent appeared with salads, bread and wine, then we slowly worked our way through thick, cheesy lasagna covered in a meat sauce. I learned his Grandpa had brought the recipe with him from Italy as a young émigré, fresh off the boat from Sicily.

Domenic Bonamente Stivaletti started as a sidewalk vendor in New York City at age 14, quickly becoming a cook at a series of restaurants, always working his way up. At 17 he met and married Lauretta Simone in a matter of weeks and quickly produced Cesare, Vincent's dad, and Luca, Samuel's father, just 13 months apart, then added a daughter, Francesca, two years later.

The family ended up in Texas when the owner of the restaurant he was working at sold the business and moved to Plano to help his brother with their aging parents. He lent Domenic $5000 to get started and the rest is history. Stiva's opened the summer Domenic turned 22 and has been one of the best Italian places around ever since. It sits on twenty acres outside town, in a curve of the river. A pile of gold bars couldn't buy that land now but in the late 50s it was just cattle and weeds. Over the years, the family built a little gazebo and a large open sided shelter for weddings and other celebrations, and did a booming business in catered outdoor gigs eight months of the year.

Cesare had died in a car wreck when Sam was a kid so the business went to Luca who ran it with Vincent, Sam, Francesca, and assorted other relatives. I didn't know any of this at the time, but over the years that Sam and I became lovers, then good friends, I became an honorary Stivaletti, invited to the endless succession of birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and funerals that a large family generates.

Vincent brought us one tiramisu for desert, with two spoons, and said something to Sam in Italian. Sam turned to me, replying as he ran a finger down my cheek, then along my lower lip, getting a laugh from Vincent as he left. I gave Sam a questioning look and he smiled.

"He said you're gorgeous. I told him he should see you naked." He sobered as he studied my face, his eyes a little sad, and I wondered what he was thinking.

After dinner we took Thai coffees out to the riverbank, tossing stale bread to the ducks and enjoying the cool of the evening. I felt great rested, full, happy and made myself just live for the moment. I had a strong urge to ask Sam more about his private life, but the fact that he hadn't volunteered much made me bite my tongue. I didn't want to hear that he had a boyfriend who just happened to be out of town the two times we'd been together, so I kept quiet, which wasn't difficult sitting there in the curve of his arm as the light faded from the sky.

When it was full dark, we went back upstairs and settled down in front of the TV, snuggled up on the couch in the first of what would be hundreds of nights we'd spend this way. The movie didn't hold our attention for long because Sam, who was lying behind me, couldn't keep his hands to himself and had me hard and dripping before the third commercial. He dragged my jeans far enough down my thighs to get his cock between my legs, thrusting slowly from my ass forward, his dick shoving my balls out of the way each time he stroked.

Eventually he rolled me onto my stomach, pushed one of my legs off the edge of the couch and slid down to give me the second best rim job I ever had, the first being the morning we'd been together three weeks ago. This time he didn't ask if I was ready or was it okay, he just straddled me and slowly worked his rock hard erection into my ass, inch by thick inch. He grunted softly when he hit bottom and lowered his weight onto my back, kissing my shoulders and neck while he fucked me silly.

Partway through, he hauled me to my knees and elbows, put one foot on the floor and began to work me over as I'd never been worked before. Whenever I got close, he'd stop thrusting, reach for my balls, circle his thumb and finger above them, and tug them firmly away from my body until he felt I could continue.

As I mentioned, I was fairly inexperienced in the fucking department, and no one had ever done that to me before. Underneath the discomfort was the knowledge that when he finally did let me go, I was going to blast cum right through the couch cushion and scream like a banshee.

When all I could do was whimper and moan, he pulled out for a moment, flipped me over and slid back in without missing a beat. I started to blow the instant I grabbed my cock, and it was every bit as intense as I'd thought it would be. I couldn't even exhale until about the fifth spurt, then managed one gasping breath before twisting and grimacing through three or four more, the fingers of my free hand boring holes in Sam's leg.

His orgasm was equally impressive, spraying hot, creamy, Italian cum all over my chest after catching me on the chin with the first shot. We went to bed after that and slept. I couldn't have come again with a gun to my head, although I think Sam thought about it before he realized I was down for the count.

Probably thanks to my nap the previous afternoon, I woke up before he did and watched him sleep. He was on his side facing me, his chin tucked down onto his loosely fisted hand. He looked much younger, his face relaxed, a strand of his long hair across one cheek.

Those couple of days were wonderful. He worked off and on, cooking during the busy times, dropping in now and then to make sure things were running smoothly. Wednesday during the lunch hour, I sat on the stool in the kitchen and watched him, knowing what that finger he pointed across the kitchen with, felt like as it slid into my ass, knowing I was getting in deep emotionally, knowing nothing more about Sam than I did the first night we met.

Over dinner in his apartment that night, I knew I couldn't fly away for a month tomorrow with no idea of what was happening between us, if anything. He was quiet, too, and when we went out to sit on his top step after dinner, he spoke before I could get up the nerve.

"Dean, I really like you. I can't . . . I'm not free to commit to a relationship right now," he said softly, looking away from me out to the river. "But I want to see you when I can, when you're in town, if you want to. It's all I can do right now."

I sat still, feeling like someone had hollowed out my guts, wondering if I could stand being with him whenever he could, yet having no idea what, or who, he did the rest of the time. I touched his arm, and when he turned to look at me, his eyes were dark and full of emotion. At that moment, I knew I'd do whatever it took to spend time with him.

"I want that, too," I told him honestly.

He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine, eyes closed. "I'm sorry."

I cupped my hands around his face and pulled away to look at him. "It's okay. We'll make it be enough."

He dropped me at the airport and I went off to ride horses all over the country, getting home every few weeks for two or three days. Sometimes he was there to meet me at the airport and sometimes he wasn't. That became the pattern of our relationship, except for one incident a few months after we met.

I'd come home unexpectedly and borrowed my dad's car to run over and see him. He answered the door only after several knocks, opening it just a few inches. Sam looked at me quickly, then lowered his gaze to the middle of my chest where it stayed. The door frame put him in shadow but it looked like he had a black eye, and when he rested his hand on the edge, I saw that his wrist was raw with what looked like rope marks. I took a shocked step back and forgot everything I was going to say.

"Dean, I can't see you right now," he said in a subdued voice. "I'll call you." He closed the door and I drove back home on auto pilot, stunned at what I'd seen. He called a few days later and sounded like his usual self, wishing me luck.

I was gone a month that time, and he was waiting at the curb when I walked out of the terminal. I stopped and looked at him for a long moment while he watched me, his face expressionless. As I walked to him, still unsure, I saw him swallow hard and that did it for me. I dropped my bags and went straight into his arms, letting the feel of him wash away whatever doubts I had about being involved with him.

He was trembling as he crushed me to him, and I knew then that I was as important to him as he was to me, regardless of anything else.

We had a great three days together, and for the next couple of years, I always let him come to me.

Reminiscing was wonderful and it took away a little of the ache I felt in Sam's absence, but it was nothing like the real thing, and I prayed that this would all be over soon.

As promised, he called me every night. I lay on the couch in the dark den with the phone in my lap, flipping it open quickly when it rang, not wanting to miss a second of his voice. He never said where he was or what he was doing, just that he was okay and that he loved me. Although I told him that I loved him too, the phone calls did little to fill the void. I slept poorly and didn't even indulge myself in bedtime orgasms. Sam had apparently taken my sex drive with him, along with my heart.

I left that Thursday for the next-to-last GP, back in CA again, but this time in the Monterey area. I was in pretty sorry shape emotionally and Cas stuck close when he was free. We spent the nights together, usually with Cas curled around me from behind, trying to be some comfort to me.

Saturday night we snuggled for a while, then Cas kissed me deeply and my body responded. It had been twelve days since Sam had left. Twelve days since I'd had an orgasm, and raw need suddenly surged through me. I pulled Cas onto me, grabbed his ass, and held him tight against me as I thrust my cock across the hard ridges of his stomach. He responded immediately, pushing my legs apart with his own to get us closer and letting his weight add to the friction between us. It didn't take long and I came so hard I thought my heart was gonna stop, bucking under Cas like Kahn on a bad day. Afterwards he took us both into the shower and kept me there until the hot water and his gentle, soapy hands calmed me down enough to sleep.

I felt better in the morning, not 100%, but good enough to be interested in winning.

That didn't happen, but Kahn took 2nd again, with Minx 3rd. It was a good win by Cas. He ran through the jump-off like his ass was on fire and it paid off, beating me by a full half second. We stayed sober that night, laying awake talking for a long time in the dark, him on his back with my arm and leg across him, my face in the curve of his neck. He stroked his hand along my back, up and down again, occasionally cupping my butt gently for a moment.

Cas thought he was in love with Adam, as I'd suspected, but hadn't said anything to him. Although he was two years older than Cas, Adam was younger emotionally, still partying in town a couple nights a week. Cas, on the other hand, had traveled the country for years and was ready to settle down with a steady partner and begin making memories.

He was a good man, gentle and strong, and it bothered me to think of him pining away for Adam, but Cas was philosophical about it, hopeful that things would eventually work out.

It made me think of Sam waiting for me all those years. I told Cas how Sam had finally given me an ultimatum, and Cas agreed it might come to that, but not just yet. For now he was content sleeping with Adam occasionally and entertaining himself with Sky or Sam and I when Adam was busy.

I confided everything about Sam's attack, the bad dreams, the night he'd hit me, his departure, everything, and he listened quietly, asking a question now and then. When I finished and heaved a big sigh, he rolled to me.

"What Sam went through is something you and I can only imagine. You need to let him do this." When I began to protest, he pressed his fingers to my mouth. "He said he'd come back and you know he will, Dean. He loves you like I can only hope someone will love me some day. Be there for him when he gets home."

I fell asleep thinking about what Cas had said and gradually I felt better. It would have ruined us going on the way we were, and I saw that our only hope was for him to do what he could to finish it.

All this mental cheerleading was great until another week went by, the last two days of which Sam didn't call. I had no idea where he was or what might keep him from calling me and, of course, only the worst possible scenarios ran through my head.

Finally, Jesse called in a hurry, saying only that everything was okay and they'd be home in a day or two. He wouldn't give me any details and his call didn't go far toward making me feel better.

By the third night without talking to Sam, I was a basket case, pacing the long hall from the kitchen to the den, willing the phone to ring, praying that he was safe. I knew nothing about Rand, how dangerous he was, what Sam was headed for when he drove away that night. I finally wore myself out and lay down on the couch.

I was just dozing off, staring into the fire, when the gate alarm dinged. Only Sam, Adam, and Jesse had gate codes. Adam was out of town and I wasn't expecting Jesse. I sat up, every nerve ending alert, my ears straining for the sound of the car.

Then I heard it, the throaty growl of his BMW as it pulled up to the front of the house. My heart tripped into double time and I ran to the front door, yanking it open just as he stepped onto the porch.

My cry of greeting never made it past my lips as I stopped in total shock at the sight of him. If I hadn't known it was Sam by the car, I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to recognize him.

One side of his head was shaved right above his ear, he'd let his beard come in, and his left eye was swollen almost shut with a rainbow of muddy colors surrounding it. He smiled at me and it turned into a grin as he saw my astounded expression.

"Hey, Babe."

At the sound of his deep, warm voice, my feet unglued themselves from the floor and I leaped into his outstretched arms, knocking him back a few steps. "Oh, God, you're home!"

He grabbed me into a huge hug, lifting me off my feet and laughing as I wrapped my legs around him. "Damn, it's good to see you."

I couldn't let go of him. I dropped my feet to the porch and hung onto him while the empty place in my heart filled back up. My face was buried in his neck and the familiar smell of him made me dizzy. I felt my cock begin to fill as he stopped laughing and gathered me to him, his arms softening into a close embrace. There were a million things I wanted to say to him, but after my initial outburst, I couldn't find my voice.

He had no such problem, talking non-stop as he gripped my shoulders and stared into my face from six inches away. "I missed you so _fucking_ much." His voice was rough with emotion and his mouth slid up my neck as he backed me across the threshold into the entryway, kicking the door shut with his foot. I was locked onto his eyes as he guided us into the house, my heart pounding so hard in my chest I thought he must be able to see it through my shirt.

"All I could think about driving home was getting my hands on you. I've been rock hard for two solid hours." He kept walking until we were on the deep carpet of the hall, groping each other with eager hands.

"I've gotta have you now," he said as he ripped the buttons on my jeans open. My pants dropped to the floor and I got one foot out of them as he pulled his cock out of his fly; he was as hard as I've ever seen him, the head of his cock dark red and dripping. He hooked a foot around the back of my leg, dropped to his knees and caught me as I went over, crawling onto me as I hit the floor.

"Come here," he growled, grabbing my face with steely fingers. Our mouths locked together again, his weight pressed me into the carpet, and as his erection rubbed along mine, I began to climax in huge, shuddery convulsions that shook our kiss loose and left me gasping. He stroked into the wet heat of my cum a couple times, then his face twisted with a deep groan and he erupted between us, sliding through it all as he pumped himself empty.

He collapsed onto me and laughed weakly. "Jesus, did I need that."

I lay there until I had enough breath back to speak. "God, it's good to have you home. I missed you so much." I pushed him up off me a little so I could look at him again and suddenly I couldn't shut up. "Are you alright? What happened to your eye? Where's Jesse? God, I love you!"

He laughed and silenced me with a kiss. "I'll tell you everything later. Right now I just want to be with you and not think about anything but how good you look. More than anything, I missed just seeing your face every day." He cupped a hand to my cheek and leaned down to my mouth, licking his way across my lower lip, then probing between my lips with his tongue. "I love you, Dean, and I'm never leaving you again."

We lay there for a bit, then pulled our pants the rest of the way off and went up to bed. He made love to me somewhat more slowly than in the hall, but still with an urgency that had us grasping each other too hard, our kisses bruisingly passionate. He fucked me roughly and I loved every second of it, needing to feel him in me, on me.

By the time we came, we were breathless and almost fighting each other in our need for comfort and release from the tension of the past three weeks. When he stopped shaking, I pulled him into the shower and washed every inch of him, letting my hands reassure my heart that he was really home. The hair on the side of his head was just starting to come in, soft dark fuzz that felt like velvet under my hand. I could see the line of stitches above his ear but I didn't ask about them.

Afterward, we lay in bed on our sides, knees bumping, holding hands, and touching each other's chests and faces. I was fascinated with his beard, nuzzling my face into him and running my fingers through the thick dark hair. He lay still watching me for a long time and I could see him begin to really relax. Finally, he smiled a little. "You sent Jesse after me, didn't you?"

"I just told him you'd left. He found you?"

"He sure did, and we found Rand together. The police have him. That's why I look like this. I was arrested along with him and would probably still be in the slammer except for Jesse."

He told me the whole story then. He had gone to Dallas and Jesse had caught up with him the next morning. Sam wanted to check the clubs Rand used to take him to and that paid off cause after a few days they found a kid who was one of Rand's 'boys', kids he raped like he had Sam, then turned loose on the streets to work for him. The kid wanted out desperately and told them where Rand lived.

They checked it out, and then went to the local police who agreed to Sam getting inside. The whole thing would probably have worked great, except that a federal agency had a sting operation going, part of a nationwide crackdown on child prostitution. Sam got arrested in the raid and spent two nights in jail before Jesse and the local cops could convince the feds that he was one of the good guys. He would have to go back to testify at the trial, but Rand would never see daylight again, so we were free of him.

Sam fell asleep easily and slept through the night, waking up before me and sucking me first to consciousness, then into oblivion as I lost myself in his mouth. He grinned at me, his lips shiny with my cum as I pulled him up to me, overjoyed to have him whole and healthy again. It took us an hour to get out of bed and we emptied the Kleenex box while we were at it.

Over breakfast, he told me they had brought the kid, Max, home with them. He was with Jesse now, but Sam wanted me to meet him. I watched him closely as he talked about Max, his voice quiet, his eyes restless. Max had been 15 when Rand first got hold of him, two years younger than Sam, and had been on the streets for a few months before that. He was now 17 and Jesse was doing a background check on him, seeing if he had family, a police record, etc.

When they came over that afternoon, Max went straight to Sam, standing close to him, not meeting my eyes, even when Jesse introduced us.

He was a skinny kid, all knobby shoulders and saggy jeans hanging from his bony hips; about my height, but at least 30 pounds lighter. His pale blond hair was clean but hacked off raggedly, as though he'd done it himself without benefit of a mirror or sharp scissors. In many ways, he reminded me of Cooper, the neglected Tacony horse we rescued, tattered and abused but with some potential. As ratty as he was, there was something about him that made you watch him and wonder what he'd look like with a few more pounds on him.

He didn't talk much and when he did, it was in an undertone to Sam or Jesse, who were sitting on either side of him on the sofa in the den. I knew that what they'd been through had created a bond that I didn't share and I felt like a distinct outsider. I went into the kitchen to get us something to eat. Sam followed and after watching me ignore him for a few minutes, took my shoulder and turned me to him, pinning me against the counter with his hips.

"He's young and scared. He'll warm up to you."

"I'll live," I told him. "It's just an afternoon."

He was silent for a long moment and I suddenly understood that this was much more than 'just an afternoon'. "What's going on?" I asked him.

"He trusts me."

"So do I," I reminded him, trying not to sound like a jealous jerk, but starting to feel like one.

He glanced up at me, holding my gaze with serious eyes. "I want him to stay with us for a while. He needs what we can provide. Safety, stability. Love."

I remained silent and he pushed away from me, moving restlessly around the kitchen. "Dean, I had no one. I can help this kid. _We_ can help him."

"Did you sleep with him?" I asked it softly although I was pretty sure of the answer.

"Yes." He walked back over to me, crowding me a little until I met his eyes. "But I didn't have sex with him. After we found him, he stayed with Jesse and me, and he slept in my bed. He was terrified and I held him while he had nightmares, the way you did for me."

I looked away from him, uncomfortable with the reminder, and he wandered off again. "I knew I wasn't the only kid Rand did that to, but I didn't do anything about it." He turned to face me from across the room. "I need to do this. I know I've asked a lot of you lately. Of us. Just one more thing. Please." I could hear the strong emotion, the plea, in his voice.

I looked at him, his dark eyes steady on my face, thought about what he'd been through, how much I loved him, and I knew that he would never hesitate if I asked something of him. I walked to him, put my hands on his shoulders, and pressed my forehead to his.

"Tell me what you want me to do."

"Oh God, Dean. I love you so much." He pulled back a little to look at me. "Thank you." He wrapped me up for a long hug and the feel of him against me worked its usual magic. As long as I had Sam next to me, I felt like I could do anything, be whatever he needed me to be.

"Just be yourself. He needs to see that men can be gentle and loving with each other, like you and I are together. I think just being around us will work wonders."

I nodded, wondering what we were getting ourselves into. Max had been on the streets for more than two years; you don't come out of something like that unscathed. He could rob us blind in the middle of the night. Maybe he was into drugs, as skinny as he was. God knows.

"Give me some time to catch up to your feelings for him." I was sincere in wanting to help Sam with Max, but right now, I only wanted the rest of the world to go away for a while as Sam and I put our lives back together. Right at that moment, I didn't want to share Sam with anyone else.

We took a couple trays of sandwiches and drinks back to the den and this time Sam sat down on the floor at my feet, leaning back against the chair between my knees. Max watched him, but didn't leave the couch and the security of Jesse. We ate and talked a while longer, then Jesse got up to leave. Max stood nervously and followed Jesse to the door, looking back to make sure Sam was nearby. As Jesse drove away, I could see Max wilt a little.

I walked a few steps closer to him with the warmest smile I could conjure up. "Wanna go pick a room?" He gave me a frightened glance that barely touched my eyes when he nodded.

I moved toward the stairs and waited for him to follow. He had brought a paper bag with him, and the sight of that poor kid clutching a crumpled paper sack that contained everything he owned in the world tightened my chest to the point of tears. I turned away from him, clenching my teeth hard, and walked up the stairs. He trailed along behind me with Sam following a bit further back. I stopped in the center of the hall and gestured with my hand. "Our room is at the end of the hall. There's a room near ours, and a couple more at the other end. You can pick whichever one you'd like. Want to see them?"

He shook his head, his eyes downcast, and lifted a hand slightly away from his leg, down the hall toward our room. I turned in that direction and stopped at the door to the large room that had a view of the back of the property, as ours did. He glanced inside, then edged past me, and set his sack on the bed, looking around him.

The room was done with my folks' old furniture, a walnut bedroom set, heavy and dark against the soft blue of the walls. A large over-stuffed chair sat in one corner near the small fireplace, a cozy corner for chilly winter nights, and a corner cabinet held my previous TV and stereo equipment.

He took all this in silently while Sam and I watched from the doorway. He sighed deeply, then walked over to me and met my gaze for the first time.

"Thank you." This was the first look I'd gotten at his eyes. They were a deep greenish blue, heavily lashed, too old for his face, and with a sudden rush of awareness, I saw past the boy he was, to the man he would become.

It was almost a whisper when I said, "Max, I promise you'll always be safe here. No one will ever hurt you." I wanted to pull him into a hug, or even just touch his hand, but knew that it was way too soon for that. He nodded and started a slight smile before he remembered he didn't know me very well. He hitched a bony shoulder and walked over to look in the bathroom.

"We'll eat around 7. Do whatever you like 'til then. You can come down and help if you want, around 6." He nodded and I left him standing there in the middle of the room.

Sam and I had a glass of wine in the den, curled up on the couch together. He'd been home almost 24 hours and we still couldn't keep our hands off each other. We went in to the kitchen around 6 to start dinner and I didn't hear him come in, but when I turned around to get the salad stuff from the fridge, Max was standing in the doorway.

I tipped my head toward the fridge. "Hey, Max. You wanna make us a salad? There's lettuce and some other stuff."

I was sitting at the island, working on the shish-kabobs, stacking chunks of chicken, onion, little tomatoes, pineapple, zucchini and red pepper onto wooden skewers. I glanced at him once; he was methodically patting dry the carrots he'd washed. He worked across the island from me and I looked up now and then, but he was immersed in his work; peeling and chopping. A bit later, he asked me where bowls were and I pointed to a cupboard. Other than that, he silently made three great salads, full of things I liked, but rarely bothered with like raisins and chopped pecans. Someone, somewhere, had fed this kid pretty good at some point in his life.

He helped Sam with the grilling, basting the kabobs with Italian dressing each time Sam turned them. He was easy with Sam, smiling at him when Sam said something that amused him. I noticed Sam moved slowly when he touched Max, putting a hand on his arm now and then, patting his shoulder when he came inside for another platter. Sam smiled at me, stopping on his way back outside to nuzzle into my face and kiss his way from the corner of my mouth to my ear. I knew a 'thank you' when I felt one and returned his kiss warmly, wanting him to know I was truly okay with Max being here.

Dinner was kind of quiet; Max was silent while I filled Sam in on the GPs he had missed. We cleared the table, me putting leftovers in containers and Max drying while Sam washed. It was odd having another person with us, but not uncomfortable. For all his silence, he didn't seem to be an unfriendly boy, just quiet and withdrawn, which I suppose he had good reason to be.

We headed for the den, assuming our usual positions, Sam lying back against an arm of the couch, me between his legs. Max stood watching us until we were settled, sitting down a few feet away when I patted the cushion next to me. Sam pulled me in for a long hug, smiling at Max over my shoulder as he did so. We turned on the tube and got lost in a movie.

When I stretched out a little, my bare foot came up against Max's thigh. I didn't move it and after a moment, I felt the light touch of his hand as he rested it on my ankle. He shifted around a bit, slouching down to lay his head against the back of the couch and prop his feet up on the coffee table, but he never moved his hand from my leg. Figuring that too many men had had their hands on him already, I was going to let him get comfortable touching me.

After the movie, we all went up to bed. Max stopped at the door to his room, looking at me with a ghost of a smile around his mouth.

"Thanks for lettin' me stay here," he said softly. Sam tousled his hair and walked on into our room. I smiled back at Max, not saying anything. Gradually his smile widened into the real thing. His face was almost delicate with high cheekbones and a wide mouth that curled up slightly at the corners, even when he wasn't smiling.

"Sleep well," I told him and followed Sam to bed. Max had closed his door all but a few inches and I closed ours about halfway, so that we could hear him, but he couldn't see our bed from the doorway.

Sometime in the early morning, I woke to an empty bed. Our door was open and I walked into the hall, peeking into Max's room. He was curled into Sam's arms, crying softly. Sam raised his eyes to me and in the light from the hall, I saw that they were wet as well. I watched them until Sam turned his face to Max's, then I went back to bed.

Sam didn't come back to our room that night. I imagined that in time, I would be playing the same role of protector to Max, but right now, my bed was empty and I wasn't happy about it. I grabbed Sam's pillow to me and tried to fall asleep.

When I woke up, Max's bed was empty. I found them in the kitchen, cooking up enough food for an army. Sam and I both loved breakfast and frequently made a big one on Sunday morning. He came to me as I walked into the room, folded me up in a warm hug, and then kissed me soundly with Max watching from the corner of his eye.

I pulled back and smiled at him. "Good morning, Stud." I looked over Sam's shoulder; Max had a small smile on his face. "Morning, Max. Feelin' better this morning?"

His words were hesitant, but sincere. "Morning . . . Dean. Yeah, I am."

We sat down to French toast, scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, sausage, and orange juice. I hadn't been around teenagers in a while and I was astounded at the amount of food Max put away. I made a mental note to tell Maria to double the grocery list as I watched him start on a third plateful. He was a little more talkative this morning, although I didn't think anyone would ever accuse him of being a chatterbox.

He had on what looked like yesterday's clothes and if that old paper bag was all Max had, we needed to go shopping before we did much of anything else.

"I'm heading for the mall this morning. I need some t-shirts," I announced.

Sam glanced up with an incredulous look on his face. The second drawer of our tall dresser contained enough t-shirts to get me through the next year, but I needed some reason to get Max to the stores, so I thumped Sam in the shin with my bare foot and smiled hard at him.

The mall was quiet on a Sunday morning and it didn't take us long to load Max up with jeans, shirts, a jacket, a few pair of shoes, a swimsuit, lots of socks and underwear. I figured he was coming to the final GP with us, so we got him a few pair of slacks, dress shirts and a sport coat. He was a little overwhelmed by all that, but livened up when we stopped for lunch. I was barely over breakfast but he wolfed down a double burger, a small mountain of fries, two large drinks, and most of my onion rings. I figured at this rate, he'd be up to normal weight in a week.

Max needed a decent haircut in the worst way so I decided to swing by my folks' place, calling first to make sure they were home.

Over the years, my parents had come to know Sam well. They'd eaten at his restaurant on a few special occasions and we'd visited them frequently at their place. They knew that Sam I were now a couple and they were happy about that, but we hadn't burdened them with the 'Rand situation'.

Although I'd explained on the phone that things had changed, Mom was a bit overwhelmed with the sight of Sam with the side of his head shaved, stitches and bruised eye.

I briefly explained the situation, saying only that we had run into a bit of a bad crowd and as a result, we got a great bonus in Max.

I smiled at Max and then at Mom. "Whadaya think, Mom, is there a hair-do in there?"

My Mom, Mary, had married my father 32 years ago, and at 52 still looked damn good with wavy gray hair and a mature version of the figure that had first caught my father's eye.

She took one look at Max and went into nurturing mode.

Max didn't stand a chance against Mary, and I tried to hide my smile as she sat him down, whisked a sheet around his shoulders and trimmed his shaggy head of hair into a tidy cut, still a little long but much more attractive. When he got up from the chair, she hugged him as she did all of us, for no reason whatsoever. After a frozen moment, Max wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes, and hugged her back for all he was worth. When she finally let him go, his cheeks were pink with embarrassed pleasure, but he was grinning.

He glanced up at me and in that moment, he was gorgeous. His face was too thin, but his smile was alive, his deep blue eyes were crinkled up, and I felt my heart melt a little more.

I turned quickly away and went to find Sam. He and my dad are buds and they were out nailing up one side of the decrepit chicken coop my mother had insisted on keeping when they bought the place just before I was born, claiming it had character. It had been a shack then and it was worse now, but the chickens didn't seem to mind living in it, cranking out enough eggs to keep my folks and the neighbors well supplied. She sent us home with half a chocolate cake (over my father's protests), a dozen eggs, and a few late oranges from their little orchard.

Max ate the oranges on the 20 minute drive from their house to ours, and I feared for the cake but she hadn't thought to include a fork so it made the trip intact.

We made a quick pass by the market for steaks and potatoes, a Starbucks to get us through until dinner, and finally made it home around four. I was exhausted and left the groceries to them, heading upstairs for a quick shower.

Sam climbed in halfway through, squeezed a big squirt of waterproof lube up my ass, propped one of my feet on the ledge, and bent me over as he slithered in from behind. Between him banging away at me and the water sluicing down on us, I came loud and noisy without even thinking about the fact that Max was somewhere around. Sam was laughing so hard he lost his concentration and I had to suck him off, sitting on the ledge with him standing in front of me. I got him back by shoving a slick finger up his butt just he started to blow, and his moans went up an octave as I kept him in my mouth 'til he was doubled over and clinging to my shoulders.

When we finally made it downstairs, Max was in the den, stretched out on the couch with a book. I was glad to see that he didn't automatically turn on the TV. He did salads again while I grilled the steaks, and Sam did something wonderful with the potatoes, which had been baking while we were carousing in the shower. They ended up back in their shells but mixed with sour cream, cheddar cheese, and a little garlic, then browned in the oven. I love having a chef in the family.

Max's conversation at dinner was better this time. Sam got him talking a little about what he'd like to do and I think we were both surprised when he said he wanted to get his GED, but he didn't really want to go sit in a classroom all day. He'd left school in the middle of 10th grade when his home situation became intolerable. Max didn't offer any details but the averted eyes told me it wasn't good. We talked about his health, and although he was a bit timid about the subject, he agreed that he could probably use a physical. He also said he wanted to find a job so that he could pay us back for the clothes. I could hear the stubborn pride in his voice and didn't argue about it, but suggested that he could come with me to Castlewood; we always needed another pair of hands. He didn't know anything about horses, but was willing to give it a try so we decided he'd spend his days with me until we figured something out about a tutor.

After dinner, Sam grabbed Max and me by the hand and led us off to the den, flopping down against the arm of the sofa. I sat at the other end and waited to see what Max would do with this scenario. He eyed me for a moment, then sat down near Sam's feet. I was still feeling lazy so I slid down a bit, turned onto my side and swung my legs up across Max's lap, not bothering to watch his reaction. It wasn't long before he settled a warm hand onto my leg, and it was only another minute or two before he began a slow rub up and down my calf. He had a nice touch and I fell asleep to the soft murmur of their voices, waking when Sam shook my shoulder to go to bed.

Max had already gone up and his door was only closed about halfway tonight. I caught a glimpse of him reaching to turn out the lamp on his bedside table. He was bare from the waist up, his nipples a deep pink against the smooth, pale skin of his chest. His eyes met mine for a split second, and then his room went dark.

"'Night, Max. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight."

Sam smiled at me and we fell into bed. My nap had refreshed me to the point of feeling rowdy, so I slid down the bed until Sam's soft cock was level with my face and began to lick all around his groin, tickling my tongue into the soft crease of his thigh, sucking the wrinkled skin of his scrotum into my mouth, the taste, texture and scent of him exciting me. I got to his cock eventually, sliding one hand up his stomach onto his chest to rub a hard nipple with the pad of my finger as I ever so slowly sank my mouth down onto him. Each time my finger brushed across his nipple, his cock lurched in my throat and he groaned quietly.

I used my other hand to follow my mouth up and down his erection, and when my fingers were wet, I worked one into him, pulling back out to tease him with just the tip, wiggling it gently. Sam's knees had been gradually lifting as I got more serious about what I was doing, and now he pulled them back and arched his head into the mattress as I knelt to get a better angle on his cock. I kept at it for as long as I could, but Sam had other ideas and I soon found myself on my back with a mountain of pillows under my ass and my knees around my ears as he gave me the blue ribbon of rim jobs.

When I replied 'unhh' to his question of 'are you ready', he snorted, got to his feet and straddled me, angling his dick down to enter me in one long stroke. Since we've been screwing for so many years, we've gotten past the experimental phase and tend to use the handful of positions we've found work best for us, but now and then Sam surprises me, and this was one of those nights. This particular position wasn't terribly comfortable on my neck, but had the redeeming feature of almost constant prostate stimulation, and I didn't last long once Sam got into a rhythm of long, steady strokes. It was also different having my nuts hang down over my dick; my hand thumped into them each time I ran my fist to the base of my cock.

Mindless of the fact that Max was just down the hall, I came hard and loud. Sam pulled out of me and stroked himself to orgasm, bumping up against my butt each time he pumped into his hand. A handful of tissues later, we were snuggled up and drifting off when I heard Max cry out. Sam and I both held our breath to listen. After a moment, we heard him again.

"I'll go," I whispered as I slid out of bed, holding up a hand to keep Sam where he was.

When I got to the door of Max's room, I could hear him breathing quickly as though he'd woken himself up, so I took a few steps into the room.

"Max? You okay?"

He replied with a quavery, "Uh-huh," but followed it up with a "No!" when I turned to go.

I walked to the bed where he was curled into a ball under the sheet, on his side, his arms clutched to his chest, so much like Sam was right after the attack. It hurt me to see Max like that. I sat on the edge of the mattress and slowly reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder. At my touch, he curled closer and pressed his face against my leg, shaking a little. I rubbed my hand slowly around his back, over the knobs of his spine and the washboard of his ribs, bringing it up to softly squeeze the back of his neck now and then.

"It's alright, Max. You're safe with us. No one's gonna hurt you now."

He gave a small nod and his breathing evened out some. One hand left his chest and came up around my bare hip, hugging me to him. I stayed there for a long time, until I felt him begin to fall asleep again. As I stood, I bent over and kissed the top of his head, aching that his young life was so full of crap that he couldn't get through one night without the horror of it ripping him awake.

Sam was lying with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling when I came back to bed. He looked at me as I curled up next to him and held on tight.

Max didn't seem any the worse for wear the next morning, especially after the huge breakfast that Maria cooked once she saw how skinny he was. I drove to the barn with him beside me since he didn't know how to ride a horse yet; he was quiet but didn't seem particularly anxious at the prospect of meeting a bunch of new people and learning to do things he'd never even heard of. (He'd made a face the night before when I'd mentioned that mucking out stalls would be one of his duties. "Is that as bad as it sounds?" he'd asked.) I admired his reserved determination to pull his own weight.

I'd called James earlier that morning and he met us when we pulled in. I'd told him enough about Max's situation for him to understand that Max needed to be shown how to do almost everything, not just sent off to a stall with a grooming box in his hand. The next time I saw Max, he was carting a big load of dirty shavings across the yard to the dumpster. The wheelbarrow wobbled dangerously a few times, but he didn't lose any of his cargo.

When I went looking for Max at 5 o'clock, he was covered in hay chaff and looked exhausted. I felt a pang of guilt, remembering that he hadn't been eating all that well up until two days ago and that he probably really wasn't up to a full day of hard stable work; but he smiled when he saw me and we climbed into the car.

When we got home he went straight up to shower, and I wandered into the kitchen to greet Sam who was preparing twice the usual number of lamp chops for the broiler. He glanced up when I walked in.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine, I think. James said he worked hard, and he was dirty enough that I believe it."

Max went straight for the fridge and the lettuce when he came down a bit later. I don't know what else he knew how to make, but he was getting good at salads. We ate every last chop, two each for Sam and me, four for Max, then took the last of the cake to the den with coffee and another big glass of milk. He took one end of the couch this time so he could lean against the arm, Sam the other, and I flopped down in the middle. Max polished off the cake, gulped down his milk, and promptly fell asleep.

When Sam and I were ready to go upstairs, I shook Max's shoulder gently and he came awake with a start, ducking out from under my hand to cower on the floor. He recovered almost immediately, getting to his feet but moving out of my reach.

I was speechless for a moment, then, "God, Max, I'm sorry."

He shook his head, not looking at me as his breathing slowed. "It's okay. It scared me cause I was asleep." After another moment, he met my eyes and came close enough to lay a hand on my arm. "I'm sorry. I know you won't hurt me."

I just stood there, not sure what to do for him when he stepped closer to me, tentatively put his arms around my waist, and lay his head on my shoulder. I hugged him warmly, feeling the boney rub of his hip against my belly. We stood there for a long moment, then he pulled away and left the room.

That night Max slept clear through, not a peep from his room where he'd left the door wide open.

The next day, I took him to the clinic first thing in the morning. God knows what he'd been exposed to, and before he became sexually active again, I wanted to know he was healthy. Sam and I were familiar with the folks at the clinic, as they were with us; we were all on a first name basis. When it was Max's turn, he touched my hand.

"Stay with me." Quiet words that lit a warm little spark in my chest.

I had them give him the works and he endured it stoically, grimacing at the needles and crossing his eyes at me when he came out from behind the curtain from the prostate exam.

Tuesday evening was a repeat of Monday, except Max didn't fall asleep on the couch. He fell asleep at the dinner table, slumped in his chair while Sam and I lingered over coffee and the canollis. He woke up as we cleared the table, helped us half-heartedly, then went to bed.

Jesse called that evening. He'd completed the background check on Max and it was grim. His parents had been killed in a car accident when he was 10, and he'd been shunted around the system for four years before running off. The last home he'd been in had recently been terminated as a foster home due to repeated neglect and reports of improper behavior on the part of the husband. There was no evidence that Max had been harmed by this man, but he'd run away for some reason.

Wednesday morning Max was quiet again at breakfast and I finally asked him if anything was wrong. He looked from me to Sam and back again.

"Today's my birthday," he said quietly.

Sam recovered first, glancing quickly at me, then to Max. "Congratulations. Eighteen, huh? I sorta remember being eighteen once." Max chuckled at him. "Come by the restaurant after you guys get cleaned up tonight. We'll have dinner."

I looked at Max and nodded. "Yeah, we'll celebrate."

He looked pleased and I just hoped he'd be able to stay awake for it. With that in mind, I had him help me most of the day, introducing him to many of the owners, riders, and trainers who were around the stable each day. When we got over to the south barn, I noticed Cooper wasn't in his stall so we went out to the round pen where Gabriel had him trotting on a longe line. Barney looked great after three months of high quality feed and Sam's vitamin shots; his heavy muscles rippled under a glossy dark coat.

"How's he doing?" I called out to Gabriel.

"Great. Fat and sassy. No limp that I can see."

"Well, Faith said his tendon wasn't as bad as she first thought. Maybe he's had enough rest for it to have healed. Let's see what he's like to ride."

I tacked him up and had Gabriel give me a leg into the saddle. Cooper's ears waggled but he stood still as I got settled. When I nudged him out to the rail, he went willingly, stepping out when I legged him a little. I asked him for an extended trot and was amazed when he lifted into a lovely floating trot, each front leg striking out sharply before dropping lightly to the ground. Someone had put some dressage moves on this horse and he remembered them. I dropped back to a walk, then asked him for a canter; he transitioned smoothly, staying collected and in my hands. I walked him a bit more, and then gave him back to Gabriel.

"He seems fine. Why don't you ride him easy around the farm for about an hour a day; walk and trot only. Let's see how he does."

Gabriel smiled at me. "Great, I'd love to. Thanks."

I watched Gabriel as he led Cooper over to the rail and hopped on. He had become a good employee, quiet and busy, and he did more than just the job assigned.

Max and I headed back to the main barn when I heard the rattle of a horse trailer coming up the drive. We weren't expecting any incoming horses, so I paused to see who it was, surprised when Sky's ratty old Explorer pulled in towing an even older two-horse trailer. He hopped out and gave me a guarded look as he began to open the trailer doors.

"What have you got in there?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Another one."

"'Another one' what?" I asked, frowning at him, but I figured I already knew.

He had the doors open by then and instead of answering me, he put his hand on the boney rump of a horse as it backed out of the trailer. At least it used to be a horse before someone starved it near to death. This one was a mare, chestnut, I think; I couldn't quite tell under the caked mud and filth, and God knows what breed she was. As thin as Cooper had been, this mare was worse, almost skeletal. She was shaky on her feet and I was surprised she had made the trailer ride upright. Jesus, it just made me sick to see an animal in that condition.

Max had just spent the past two days taking care of the pampered aristocrats of the horse world, so even he could tell how bad off this one was. His face tightened up as his eyes traveled over her thin neck, boney back and prominent hip bones, and I thought he was going to burst into tears. Sky handed him the lead while he and I walked on either side of her, our hands steadying each swaying step. Gabriel had just put Cooper away, so I had him fix up the stall next door real quick and we led her in.

She stood there with her head hanging while Max held a bucket in front of her nose. She finally took a drink and I looked at Sky with a 'well?' expression on my face. He looked back at me a little defiantly, and then glanced at Gabriel who was still standing nearby. Their eyes met for a moment, then Sky looked back at me.

"She was in a filthy pen at Thompson's place, that little shithole out east by the water tower. They signed her over to me; I've got the papers in the truck."

"Papers, huh? You wander around the county with all the right forms now, do you, just looking for down-on-their-luck horses?"

He had the grace to look embarrassed, but stuck up for himself. "Faith set me up with whatever I might need. Look, Dean, I'll pay her board."

"You can't afford her board, not at this stable."

"I'll help." Sky and I both turned to look at Gabriel. "I'll take care of her before I clock in and after work."

"Thanks." Sky turned back to me. "Dean, I couldn't leave her there."

I stared at him for a moment, then smiled. "I know. I wouldn't expect you to. She's probably navicular or colicky or something." I blew out a breath. "Go holler at Faith to come have a look at her."

Max had been talking to the mare the whole time, patting her scrawny neck and waving wisps of hay in front of her face. He was gentle with her and the expression on his face was tender and sad. She wouldn't eat, though, and I was afraid that this one was too far gone. Faith came in, her face freezing into a professional mask as she looked at the wreck of a horse in front of her.

"Jesus H. Christ." She turned to Sky. "Are you a magnet for these creatures?" He just shrugged and she began to examine the mare, shaking her head as she did a visual first.

I left Max with the mare and took Sky to my office. On the way, he glanced at me.

"Who's the kid?"

"Long story. We'll tell everyone at Chris's tomorrow."

When we got into the office, I closed the door and turned to him. "Are you going to make a career of this? Cause if you are, I'll need to build another barn."

"Uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. I'm thinking about going to work for the state as an inspector, but I need to go to vet school." He turned away and walked restlessly around the office, coming back to stand in front of me. "Would you help me? I'll pay you back every nickel. I could work it off during school and after I graduate." I looked at him closely. His handsome face was flushed, his blue eyes alive, and I could see this was important to him.

"Yeah, I'll help you. On one condition." He raised his eyebrows at me. "Start looking for abuse cases. Ask around, sniff them out. I'll take them all, even if we just have to put them down. At least they won't starve to death." His eyes were wide open in surprise.

"I've been thinking about it for a while. We have lots of open pasture. I'm going to start a rescue, rehabilitation, and retirement foundation. Chloe already put up $500,000 to get things going, and Bella is processing all the paperwork. The JD Morgan Rescue and Rehabilitation Foundation. Want a job?"

We talked about it a bit more and Sky decided working for the foundation sounded great, especially when I offered to put him through vet school, and give him the position of head inspector at more than the state paid. He was going to keep working for Tay until they could find a replacement, looking for abuse cases as he made his rounds, and then start vet school in April. Once he was in school full time, he would spend his spare time with Faith to start getting some practical experience. I agreed to pick up all his expenses, plus room and board, figuring I could put him in JD's empty house for practically nothing and he'd be close enough to help Faith at a moment's notice.

After we had settled the details, Sky came to me, hugging me close, and the feel of him brought back pleasant memories of his lean body, his appealing innocence when we'd first been together. He hadn't been over in a while and I wondered if he had found someone we didn't know about yet.

When we went to check on Max and the mare, he was sitting in the shavings by her head, feeding her handfuls of grain, still talking away to her. She didn't look quite so hopeless now, but I'd still be amazed if she turned out to be useable for anything but hay recycling. What was money for, if not to help those less fortunate than ourselves?

"I want to call her Ginger," Max said shyly, meeting my eyes as I came into the stall. "After Black Beauty's girlfriend. Remember?" Of course I remembered. At one point in my young life, I'd had that book practically memorized. I was worried about this mare, but more so about Max's emotions.

I walked behind him and squatted down so that my knees were on either side of him, his back against my chest as I hugged him. "Max, you're a good man, but don't get too attached. We can't save them all. We'll do all we can, but sometimes it just isn't enough."

He turned to look at me, his brow furrowed in concern as he kept rubbing the mare's lower jaw. "Do you think we can save this one?"

"Too soon to tell. Let's take it day by day." I kissed his cheek and left him there, figuring both he and the mare could use the company.

Sky headed for his truck and I saw Gabriel angling from the big barn to intercept him, so I stopped to watch. They met up and walked along together, heads bent, talking. I had given zero thought as to whether Gabriel was gay or not when I hired him, being more concerned with his ex-convict status and his employee potential. Straight or gay, he was working out well and I was glad I'd hired him. But something about watching him with Sky made me wonder.

When I went for Max at five, he was grooming Ginger. All the crud was gone from her coat, and although she was in dreadful shape, she looked a hell of a lot better. She had four white stockings and a star on her forehead, lots of 'chrome,' and would be a flashy horse when she fattened up. I had looked at her papers; she was a Quarter horse, ten years old; and surprise, surprise her registered name was Cal's Ginger Girl. Sky had himself a quality horse.

We dashed home and got cleaned up, arriving at Stiva's about 6:30. I could tell Max was excited as we pulled into the lot. Sam had changed into his tux, which got a long up and down look from Max and me, and seated us himself in one of the private alcoves. The table was laid for three, and after Sam consulted with the kitchen, he joined us, putting a long thin package on Max's plate. Max looked down at it, then up at us, and the expression on his face tugged at my heart. God knows how long it had been since anyone had made a fuss of any kind over him. Nine years, at least; almost half his life.

"Go ahead. Open it."

He tore the paper off and flipped the lid on a watch, a Tag Heuer alarm model, stainless with a black face. Sam had told me that Max had sold his watch last year for food and missed it terribly. Max's mouth dropped open and he lifted the watch out of the box, holding it across his palm as he examined it. After a moment, I reached out and turned it over. 'And many more . . . Dean & Sam' was engraved on the back. Max's head dropped lower and I figured he was battling tears, but he was saved by the waiter arriving with our salads and a big basket of warm bread. He put the watch on, running his fingers over the back of it before he did, then dug into dinner.

After we'd gone through salads, two baskets of bread, a big appetizer platter, and a few family bowls of different pastas, even Max was slowing down. We sat chatting for a bit, Max entertaining Sam with stories of his first three days on the job, when we heard a procession headed our way. Max got a wary look on his face, and by the time every waiter and busboy in the place had converged on our table, he was red as a beet but grinning from ear to ear.

Vincent set a huge piece of chocolate cake down in front of him, topped with 18 flaming candles, and all twenty-something of us sang 'Happy Birthday' to him. He ducked his head at first, but by the time we were finished, he was looking around the circle of smiling faces as if he was trying to memorize them. Maybe he was. We ate cake, drank coffees and milk, and went home, fatter and happier than when we'd arrived.

At home we changed, Sam and I doing our usual boxers, something we hadn't done since Max's arrival. When he came down in jeans and saw us, he trotted back upstairs, appearing a few minutes later in similar attire. It was the first good look I'd gotten at his body. His chest was thin, his hips narrow, with long slender muscles along his back and down his legs. The overall impression was one of delicacy, without being feminine, perhaps because he was so thin. He moved that way also, graceful with his hands and his walk. He put me in mind of a well-trained dancer, his movements light and fluid.

His chest was naturally smooth, and his arms and legs were very lightly haired. Although his shorts sat low on his hips, his belly was as smooth as his chest. His skin was pale, and the deep pink nipples I'd seen the other night were small hard nubs that I had to force myself to look away from. I'm generally attracted to more masculine men like Sam and Chris, but Max definitely appealed to me sexually, something I wasn't particularly comfortable with, at least yet.

We were all stuffed and tired, and it wasn't long before we gave up trying to stay awake and went off to bed. Outside his room, Max turned to us. "Thank you. I love the watch, and dinner was great." He paused for a moment. "No one's ever done anything that nice for me."

He gave Sam a hug and a kiss on the cheek, then turned to me, smiling.

"Dean, today at the barn, you said I was a good man that felt great. They always called me a boy, and I hated that."

It was another quiet night for Max. I checked on him a couple times but he was curled up peacefully, one hand tucked beneath his cheek, as I smoothed his hair back off his face. I began to hope that the bad dreams were behind him and that Sam was right exposure to our solid, loving relationship was a settling influence on him.

The next day was Thanksgiving, but people and horses still need to eat so we all went off to work as usual, planning on going to Zane and Chris's for dinner later in the afternoon. Max wore his watch, looking at it way more often than necessary to keep track of the time, and I was pleased to see that he was really happy with it.

All the employees had the day off so Max got to help James, Ernesto, Bella and Faith do the feeding, and he got a real kick out of all those eager faces peering out of their stalls, nickering for breakfast. We did a quick cleaning, then spent some time with Ginger. She looked a lot happier today, munching on the orchard grass that Faith had prescribed for her. When Max went into her stall, she swung her big head around to nuzzle him, wiping green hay slobber across the front of his shirt. His face was glowing when he turned to me.

"Do you think she knows me?" The hope in his voice made me glad that I could answer him truthfully with what he needed to hear.

"Horses are good at that and you have a knack with her. I noticed it yesterday." I left him there whispering sweet nothings into her ear while she ate, and had to practically drag him out when it was time to go. The kid was going to be horse crazy after all.

We got cleaned up for dinner and made it to Zane and Chris's a few minutes after three. Max was nervous, sticking close to Sam as we walked up the front steps. Chris flung the door open just as we stepped onto the porch, stopping when he saw Sam's stitches and black eye, which was actually sort of greenish now.

"Christ, what happened to you?" Chris asked as he hugged Sam hard, then held him at arm's length to look him over.

"A lot. We'll tell everybody later." Sam moved into the house and I was engulfed in Chris's big arms, smiling like I always did whenever he got hold of me.

Max hung back, keeping me between himself and Chris, as we went in. Zane came out from the kitchen and was less restrained in his greeting, as usual. He grabbed Sam first, after staring at him for a moment, and then me, into big hugs and planted wet smacks our mouths before letting us go.

Before I could stop him, he did the same thing to Max, who stiffened and jerked back slightly, but by then Zane was done with him. I smiled as astonishment, then pleasure, passed across Max's face, leaving him with a goofy smile. When Zane turned away, Max ran his tongue over his lower lip, and he kept his eyes on Zane as he walked back into the kitchen.

Sky, Cas, and Adam arrived a few minutes later and we went through the whole process again, Max getting hugs from everyone. He returned them a little more each time, and by the time Cas got a hold of him, he hugged him back enthusiastically. Cas held onto him for just another moment, looking him over closely, and I saw Max return the gaze. Didn't get him to the clinic a minute too soon, I thought to myself.

Dinner was excellent and we all ate too much, ending up lying around the great room lethargically, letting it all settle before we tackled dessert. Cas and Max sat on a small sofa near the fireplace, turned toward each other, talking and smiling the whole time, although I noticed that Max checked for Sam and me now and then, making sure we were still nearby. Watching him with Cas made me wonder if Max ever had the opportunity to be with someone just because he wanted to, because he liked the person, not because it was a business transaction. Max had been hustling since he was 15, so maybe not. He seemed comfortable with all of us, and I was glad to see that he was able to relax with so many unfamiliar men around.

We had discussed our close circle of friends with Max, and the fact that we needed to tell them at least the bare minimum of what was going on. Max was hesitant at first, fearing they'd judge him, and I could tell he was ashamed of the life he'd been living. I had tipped his chin up so that he met my eyes, and smiled at him gently.

"Max, what Rand did to you was wrong; that's why he's in jail. It wasn't your fault and no one blames you."

He had swallowed hard. "I should have . . . "

"Should have what? You were just a kid, honey. You stayed alive, and now you're here with us and all that other stuff is history. It's all over."

He was silent for a long minute, then fell into me and cried a little. I held him close and rubbed his back while Sam watched us sadly. I wanted so badly to roll back Max's life to the day before his parents were killed, or at least erase his memory of the past several years, but I settled for vowing to myself that he would never go another day without knowing that someone loved him and cared about what happened to him.

Anyway, after that discussion, Max was okay with us telling our friends about him, trusting Sam and me to do the right thing by him. Today was a good day since we were all together, so I cleared my throat as we finished our pie. Max looked at Cas one last time, then came over to sit by me on the floor. I put my arm around him as Sam gave a brief version of his three weeks in Houston, ending with the fact that Max was living with us for the foreseeable future.

There was silence as everyone absorbed what Sam had said. Then Cas got up and came over to Max, dropping to a knee in front of him. He reached out a hand to Max's cheek, then kissed him on the other. "I'm glad you're here, Max. Dean and Sam will take good care of you."

Max hadn't drawn away from Cas's kiss and now he nodded at Adam, too worked up to speak, I think. As we took our plates into the kitchen and got more coffee, I saw Sky go over to Max and talk to him softly for a minute. I couldn't hear what he said but Max smiled up at him, then chuckled a little, and I blessed Sky for being the nice guy that he was. Zane spoke to him also, and Max shook his head, laying his hand on Zane's arm and smiling at whatever he said.

Everyone wanted to know what was going to happen to Rand, and the general consensus was that hanging was too good. Since we knew it wouldn't come to that, we figured we'd have to settle for life in prison, which at least got him off the streets.

Chris's firm sponsored a variety of local non-profits, one of which was a network of retired teachers who did tutoring in one of Chris's spare offices, so we arranged for Max to go with Chris two days a week to work on his GED. When we left, I noticed that Cas hugged Max a little more thoroughly than he did the rest of us. I wondered a bit about that, if Cas and Adam were on the outs at the moment, but I didn't have the chance to ask Adam about it.

No one noticed my ring and I didn't bring it up, preferring to wait until we had some details of the event before making an announcement. It would require a party and I had enough to do right now.

The following Monday the clinic called with the good news that although Max was 25 pounds under average weight, he was otherwise as healthy as could be. They recommended vitamins, which we were already doing, and they wanted to see him in three months. He was becoming very comfortable with us, recovering quickly from his life on the street with the incredible resiliency of the young. He climbed in between Sam and me on the couch, no longer caring which of us he snuggled up to, and always wanted a goodnight hug. He wore nothing but boxers around the house, and the constant sight of his smooth, pale body had me perpetually wound up.

Sam had a dinner to cater that Wednesday night, so it was just Max and me. When we went to the den after dinner, I lay back against one arm of the couch, a la Sam, and Max, to my surprise, crawled up between my legs and flopped down, squashing my nuts with his boney ribs.

I had to shove my hand under him to adjust myself and he gave me a quick smile. "Sorry."

I pulled him back against me and we lay there until bedtime, watching 'Camelot' on cable. I absent mindedly rubbed Max's chest, not realizing until too late that the feel of his smooth, warm skin had given me a major hard-on. Then it was my turn to say 'sorry' as I tugged my stiff dick out from under him and tried to find some place for it that wasn't so obvious. After a moment, he sat up and looked at me.

"Would you kiss me?" he asked softly. "Really kiss me, like you kiss Sam? I've hardly ever been kissed. Mostly they just wanted me to suck them off."

I looked at his boyishly appealing face, so young but with those old eyes which reminded me that he was hardly innocent. Then I remembered that he was barely 18. As I leaned forward to press my mouth to his, he watched me coming, slowly dropping his eyes shut just before our lips met. He opened his mouth slightly and caught his breath when I slid my tongue slowly across his lower lip.

After a moment I pulled back to look at him, and what I saw was raw hunger; he was breathing heavily and his eyes had gone dark. He braced his hands high on my thighs and leaned into me open-mouthed in a kiss that was hot enough to make me moan, and my cock lurched, thumping up against his belly. He broke the kiss and we stared at each other for a long moment, and then, thank God, he got up and left the room. I fell back onto the sofa squeezing my cock hard in frustration.

I was still there when Sam got home and he knew from the look on my face that something had happened. I told him, leaving nothing out, including the fact that I was attracted to Max. He watched me carefully as I spoke, then he sighed.

"Me, too. At first, I felt kinda weird about it, but then remembered what I was up to at that age. I'd fuck anything that walked upright and stood still long enough. I wasn't screwing guys our age yet, but only because they hadn't ask me." He paused and looked at me hard. "If he comes to us, all on his own, I'm not gonna turn him away."

I stared back at him, then nodded, wondering when, or if, that day would come. Then I felt the weight of something else I needed to talk to him about.

"While you were gone, Cas and I…" I couldn't finish it, but I didn't have to.

"I figured. Jesse and I did too." When my shocked eyes met his, he stared me down. "It was the night before I was going into Rand's place. I was scared and missing you terribly. Jesse had never been away from Ben that long. It was just our hands and it took about 90 seconds. I didn't kiss him."

I wasn't sure what to think. I had kissed the hell out of Cas, that's what got me into trouble in the first place but we knew Cas well, had slept with him countless times over the years. Jesse was an unknown, and thus a potential threat to our relationship, but the fact that Sam hadn't kissed him somehow made the difference for me, especially when I remembered how desperate I had been for comfort that night with Cas. Sam had to have been ten times more miserable. I searched his face, seeing regret in his eyes, but no apology.

"It's okay," I told him. "I love you and it's okay." He leaned toward me, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder, and we sat like that for a while, just holding each other; then he tugged my shorts to my knees, yanked his own pants down, and dropped onto me. After a sweaty five minutes we wiped up and went to bed.

We left the next morning for the final GP, the grand finale of the year. It was in Florida, which made a pleasant change from the December chill of East Texas. I brought James along, figuring that he had been with me at the beginning so he might as well get to see the end, however it turned out. Max had never been out of Houston till he came home with Sam and Jesse, so he was thrilled with the circus atmosphere of the show grounds. He and Sam went off to explore as I checked my gear, studied the course layout, and bit my nails, nervous as a whore in church now that I was actually here.

I was too tightly wound to sit still, so I hopped on Kahn and worked him for a couple hours on the flat, practicing quick turns and lead swaps. He was really getting the hang of it, yielding to just the slightest pressure of my legs and hands, and I knew we had a chance on Sunday.

We ate in the hotel that night with Chloe. Max was entranced by her, especially when she called the waiter a 'puddin head peckerwood' under her breath cause he was slow with her drink. She thought Max was adorable and spent the evening entertaining him with stories of her sharecropper childhood, advantageous marriage, and eventual metamorphosis into wealthy social butterfly and horse aficionado. She invited him to sit in her owner's box for the Gran Prix but Max politely declined, wanting to be in the stables where the action was.

Chloe had gotten us a suite, two bedrooms on either side of a living area. We claimed one bedroom, Max settled into the other, and it was lights out since we were all tired from the travel and time change. Friday I rode both horses for a couple hours each, while Sam and Max went to the beach. It was too cold to swim but Max had a ball gathering shells, feeding the noisy gulls, and eating at every food vendor on the pier. That night we did the cocktail party thing. Max got hit on by every woman under forty and most of the waiters, and I saw him return a few smiles. Cas did a double take when he saw Max in a suit, raising his eyebrows at me and smiling. I nodded in bemused acknowledgement, fighting back a weird urge to lock Max in his room until he turned 30.

Saturday night we stayed in. I wanted to get a decent night's sleep, and I was tired of smiling my way through hours of boozy parties, and getting pinched on the ass by lonely, drunken women. Sam stretched me out on the bed and gave me a wonderful massage, starting at my feet and working his way up my body, his hands warm and strong. He was just leaving my ass for my back when our door pushed open a little and Max poked his head in. We were naked and Max looked at us for a minute before coming in to stand by the bed. He was wearing boxers, tented out in front from his erection.

Sam and I both just looked up at him and finally he blurted out, "Can I sleep in here tonight? I'm really tired of jerkin' off by myself."

I stared at him for another few seconds, but I couldn't stand it and burst into laughter. I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed, rolling half onto him, his hard penis pressing into my hip. I tried to be serious, but his frustrated expression was too funny. I finally got myself under control and looked down at him. "Are you sure that's what you want, Max?"

He didn't reply, just lifted his head and kissed me. It was a wonderful kiss a little hesitant but full of heat and it went straight to my dick, stiffening it quickly. Sam had been watching, and when my cock got hard he joined us, nuzzling into the kiss and stealing Max's mouth from me. I finally gave in to something I'd wanted to do since I'd first seen his body; I moved slowly down Max's smooth chest, tickling those hard pink nipples with my tongue, and then sliding his shorts slowly down his flat belly, following the waistband with my mouth. He was baby smooth clear down to his groin. There a wispy patch of curls surrounded his cock, which was hard and twitching with arousal.

His penis was an even darker pink than his nipples, with a fat head and a shaft that thickened slightly toward the base. I ran a finger down the underside, smiling as his cock leaped up from his belly again and again. When I reached his smooth balls, I cupped them in one palm, feeling their weight, then pushed them snugly against his body as he spread his legs and arched his hips up into my hand. I lowered my face to him, my lips tugging gently at those curls, still damp from his shower; then nuzzled into his belly. I lapped up the drop of precum that was sliding down the head of his cock, tasting him for the first time. After probing his slit gently, I began to suck him.

The next hour was wonderful. Max was a little reserved at first, but relaxed quickly as we kissed and rubbed and licked him to what was maybe the first orgasm he'd ever had where it was all about him. Maybe it was the combined efforts of our two mouths and four hands; maybe it was because he was young, but he just kept shooting and shooting, plastering his chest with shotgun spatters of thin, milky ejaculate that ran down his ribs in little rivulets. He lay there breathing hard for a few moments, eyes closed; then he began to smile, started to chuckle, and finally laughed aloud.

"God, that was awesome!" he practically shouted, sitting up to hug and kiss us both at once. That broke the ice, and after that he was playful and incredibly sexy, sucking Sam to an eye-crossing orgasm, one finger doing magic things in his ass. When Max had first slid his hand down below Sam's balls, I'd felt Sam tense up for a moment, then relax to let him in. I knelt over Sam's face, getting a tongue bath until he had to quit to climax; then, after Sam caught his breath, it was my turn.

Sam put me on my back and slid into me easily while pressing my legs back to lean down and kiss me. Max backed off a little, watching us soberly. We made no effort to include him but it wasn't long before he crawled to me, playing with my nipples and kissing me while Sam fucked me slowly. I knew Sam was good for another orgasm and sure enough, when I got close he pulled out and joined me as we came on my belly, smiling at each other as we groaned through it.

Afterward, Max touched first Sam's cock, then mine, licking the cum from his fingers each time. I watched him, wondering what this meant to him, to be with men who cared for him and to fuck for fun and cause it felt good, not because you needed to make rent. When he lifted his eyes to mine, they were clear and untroubled, and I pulled him down to me, hugging him close. "Love you, Max."

The suite had a large square shower that was a perfect fit with three of us in it. I couldn't believe the change in Max. While Sam washed him, Max soaped me. He played with my ass enough to get another rise out of me, but I really needed to get some sleep, so we settled down in bed with Sam in the middle. Like the night before my first GP, I was awake at 4am, huddled at one end of the couch in the center room when Sam came in.

"You're gonna do great," he whispered to me as he lifted one side of my blanket and snuggled in behind me. "Win or lose, you've done a wonderful job of it." I nodded and let him hold me close, soothed as always by the feel of his body next to mine.

I'd done pretty well for coming into the GP circuit on such short notice like I had, and win or lose, I would always have that.

The next morning I dressed carefully in white breeches and shirt, formal black jacket, and mynew boots; if I didn't ride well, I would at least look damn good. Sam wolf-whistled and Max ran his eyes over me, lingering at the nice package that the snug breeches made of my cock and balls.

Chloe had catered brunch in a big tent at the end of our barn so we munched on shrimp cocktail, ham and roast beef sliced to order, platters of veggies and cheeses, more salads than I could name, and an entire table of sweets. Max ate his way through it twice before slowing down to concentrate on the things he liked best. I schmoozed our various sponsors, thanking them for supporting me after Simon's unfortunate accident. A couple of them eyed Sam and Max, wondering, I suppose, exactly what our relationship was. I was wondering that a bit myself after last night.

I managed to eat a decent amount and oddly enough, I wasn't especially nervous. I think my emotions had been so overworked lately that one more GP just wasn't enough to get me excited, even if it was the most important one of the year. James had both horses looking like a million bucks and presented me with a new set of spurs from him and Ernesto, engraved with 'run fast, jump high' across the inside. They were beautiful bright, shiny stainless steel with raised oak leaves on the sides. I kissed him affectionately and strapped them on, thinking that if it all ended right then, I'd be a happy man.

Chloe surprised me with ownership transfer papers for Kahn, reasoning that since no one but me could ride him to his full potential, I might as well have him. She suggested he might be a good breeding stallion if I didn't want to show him. Just when I'd decided that Castlewood wasn't a breeding facility, I found myself with a stallion and Sky's mare Ginger. I wondered what a baby from that cross would look like.

Sam and Max came back in time to see me hop on Minx, both of them kissing me for luck. As I rode away sorting out the double reins, something caught my eye. Sam had written 'I love you' on a little piece of paper and pinned it to the saddle pad, just in front of the pommel where I could see it but no one else could. I turned quickly in the saddle to see him watching me with a loving smile.

Minx was 3rd to go in a big field of twenty-seven horses with Kahn going 21st and Cas riding last. I rode past his barn where he was just getting tacked up. He came over and squeezed my leg as I leaned down to hug him. We each said 'good luck' at the same time and grinned at each other. If I couldn't win, I hoped Cas would.

The course was big, with fifteen jumps, all of them formidable. Minx was perfect, flying over each fence like she had wings, cruising through the finish cones a few seconds under the allotted time.

Kahn was excited, snorting and shifting restlessly, geared up from the crowd noise and the tension and excitement of his handlers. James tossed me onto his back and I almost went off the other side when Kahn stepped toward us unexpectedly. James looked up at me and shook his head. "You better go wear his ass out before you get in the ring or he'll dump you on your head."

I went off to the warm-up ring and cantered him in big figure 8s, doing three flying lead changes across the center. It's not every jumper who can do one-tempi changes so we attracted some attention and I heard cameras clicking. Just then a collective 'awwwww' rose from the crowd, and I knew that some poor horse had either plowed through a jump or refused it entirely.

All too soon we were entering the arena to a big round of applause, and I circled as I scanned the jumps to get my bearings. We took the first three without even breathing hard, but 4, 5, and 6 were a tricky combination that required our full attention. He ticked the second rail of the third jump but it stayed up. Then we were good until 11, which was a high vertical wall made of heavy cardboard bricks. The horse can't see through it and it wasn't an obstacle that had been used during the year.

Kahn took a long look as we approached and decided he didn't care for it. I felt him back off and had to ride the bejesus out of him, using my voice and the whip to get him over it in one piece. Even then, he took off at the last possible second and just about pushed a brick off the top. It hung there, waiting for a breeze to finish the job, but it stayed up.

Jump 14 was a big oxer, with a hard right turn to the final jump. Kahn slipped a little when he left the ground and twisted in the air when I asked for a right lead. He came down hard and jounced me out of the saddle, jerking my right foot free of the stirrup. When I hit the saddle again, I was off center and my left nut got crushed between the front of the saddle and my pelvic bone. I was sure my agonized shriek was loud enough to be heard in New Jersey but the crowd was so noisy that no one heard me except Kahn, and it spooked him.

He stumbled slightly but charged on to the final vertical at full speed. I barely had time to rate his stride to get us there correctly when he launched into a huge jump that cleared the top rail by a foot, and then we were galloping through the finish cones. The photo that got printed in every horse paper in the country the next week showed Kahn with his ears pinned flat to his head, a big white streamer of cotton trailing comically from one ear, and me stretched out along his neck with my mouth wide open, an expression of absolute torture on my face. My hard hat was askew, my right stirrup was flapping in the breeze, and you could see the whites of both our eyes. If you didn't know better, you'd think I'd been on a horse three times in my entire life and I was riding a runaway.

James had to come into the ring to catch Kahn, cause I couldn't get him under control with only one stirrup and a testicle that hurt so badly I figured I'd limp the rest of my natural life. He led us back to the barn where he and Sam caught me as I fell out of the saddle with both hands cupping my nuts. They got me into a stall and I stood there for several minutes before gingerly lowering my breeches to see if I still had two balls. Sam, Max, and James all bent over to look closely and reported that everything looked okay. Since it wasn't badly swollen or discolored, I sat down carefully with an icepack and a pain killer handed out by the sympathetic medic who had seen my ride and came by to see how I was doing.

When Cas's turn came, I wobbled over to ringside to watch him go clear. That made four of us in the jump-off, me on two horses; but the thought of getting those two horses over seven more jumps each sent shudders through me and made my gut churn with dread. If I forfeited, that meant we'd place 4th and 5th, off the podium. Chloe took the pressure off by announcing that watching my wild ride had been worth every fucking nickel and as far as she was concerned, I could sit it out. Max and Sam just looked at me with identical expressions of pained sympathy and were no help at all. It was James who squatted down in front of me, gripped my knees hard, and looked me in the eye.

"Dean. You can do this. You got robbed once before, don't let it end without you."

He hunkered there staring at me and I thought about how much more satisfying it always was later to have done the hard thing. I nodded at him and dropped my breeches to my ankles, then we gently duct taped my balls up out of the way of the saddle. It looked and felt pretty odd but if it let me make it through 57 seconds on each horse, I didn't care.

I was to ride 1st and 5th, so I had James warm up Minx and I got on her just a few minutes before they called us. Because of the duct tape I couldn't sit quite like I normally did in the saddle, and I could tell Minx was wondering what the hell the problem was. We made it around clear, although we were right at the time allowed. The next two horses both had a rail down, so Minx was in first so far.

Cas rode beautifully, turning his big stallion tightly this way and that as he cut corners. He went clear a couple seconds quicker than MInx to take over first, and then it was Kahn's turn. He was still wound up from our first go and I really had to get after him before he started listening to me. We roared around the course clean, following the path Cas had taken and as we crossed the line, I knew it was really close.

I had just left the arena when the board updated and the crowd went crazy. I turned to look and saw #46, Cas's number, at the top of the list. He'd been two one hundredths faster than me to win the round, and with it, the championship. I felt a moment of sharp disappointment and found Chloe's eyes in the crowd around the gate. 'Sorry' my expression said, but she was grinning and elbowing her way toward me, followed by the guys.

"What a great fucking year! I've never finished this high, and with both goddamn horses! You're the best! I love you!"

People turned to look at her, laughing at her exuberance; I grinned back, shaking my head at her language. She was the owner; my job was to please her and evidently she was thrilled. Second and third was pretty damn good. Back at the big tent, I got drunk on the case of Krug's Clos du Mesnil Chloe had brought along for the occasion. Max blew a mouthful out his nose when I told him it went for around $350 a bottle. He was coughing and laughing as we pounded him on the back. Even Sam, who handles some fine wines at Stiva's, paled a little when he heard that. I reassured them that Chloe (or rather, her husband) could afford it, and that she'd get a damn paycheck for second and third place.

Chloe pounded the champagne down like water, toasting everyone and everything that came to mind. After the 4th or 5th toast, I started getting woozy from the painkillers and alcohol and had to sit down. By that point, I'd lost what little modesty I normally have, so, accompanied by a few whistles and ooos and ahhhs, we made a production of cutting off my duct taped underwear. The medic wielded the scissors since he was the only one still sober. Once my cock and balls were exposed, there were a few whoas and sympathetic grimaces, but being drunk had its advantages and I blithely ignored them. The medic said something about there maybe being some pink in my semen the next time I ejaculated, and if it happened a second time I should go see the doctor right away.

I put on a loose pair of jeans and re-joined the party just as Cas came by to make sure I was still a man. He kissed one finger and barely touched it to my crotch. I grabbed him in a huge congratulations hug, kissing him thoroughly before handing him over to Sam. Max was sufficiently lubricated with Krug to do his own hugging and kissing, surprising us all, and I saw Cas take a second look at Max as he was leaving.

Chloe's driver dropped us back at the hotel after far too many toasts and a dinner that I have no recollection of. I don't know where Chloe put it, but she kept up with us drink for drink and barely showed the effects. Sam and I were toasted and had to hang onto the furniture while getting undressed. Max was fairly sober. He didn't like the taste of alcohol much so he fed us both a few aspirin and made us each drink a big glass of water before maneuvering us into the bed where we all passed out.

Morning was awful. It was way too sunny and the waiter at breakfast insisted on talking loudly as he chattered about muffin choices and the fifty ways they could fix eggs, all of which made me think seriously about barfing. It was a relief to crawl onto Chloe's jet and curl up on the big couch with a bottle of aspirin and Sam to hold me. My abused testicle felt like it would be normal again someday and I was able to sleep for most of the flight. We got home in the early afternoon and just lay around the house while Maria kept us supplied with juice, cheese and crackers, and fresh veggies and fruit wholesome foods that made me feel like living again. We went to bed early and felt fairly decent the next morning, so we all went off to work.

It was a school day for Max, so I dropped him at Chris's on my way to the barn. That was working out well. The tutor had given him a series of tests to determine where he needed to focus, so the time spent was very productive and he studied every night at the kitchen island while we made dinner.

I was really enjoying the family aspect of having Max in the house. Sam and I had both lived alone for so long that we were very self-sufficient. Although Max had looked after himself on the street for years, he was much younger, and now that he had the opportunity, he looked to Sam and me for the affection he'd missed out on. It was very satisfying, fulfilling some need I hadn't realized I had.

Sam was very solicitous of my busted nut, soaping me gently when we showered and leaving me alone for a few days until I finally had to ask him to fuck me. The medic was right; the first time I came, there was a pinkish tinge in the cum that splashed over my chest. We both eyed it warily but it didn't happen again, and after a couple weeks I was good as new.

Now that GP season was over, Cas was around the barn every day and ran into Max regularly, always stopping to talk with him. They seemed to be developing a firm friendship. Cas took Max to lunch now and then, and came back to our place for dinner a couple nights a week. I assumed Cas was still seeing Adam, but I hadn't heard from Adam since Thanksgiving and wasn't sure what was up with them.

The only lingering effect of Max's past was a tendency to drift away mentally, gazing out the window for long moments. Actually, since I hadn't known him before, this may simply have been a personality trait he'd had all along, but it didn't feel like that to me. Any time I interrupted him at it, it would take him an extra moment to be fully aware of me. On days when he did this, he was always more needy emotionally, coming to Sam or me to be held often, and joining us at night to just cuddle up and sleep.

One day when I saw him lost in thought in the den, I went to him, running my hand through his hair. "Can you tell me, Max?"

He took my hand and pulled me down into the big chair with him, turning to lay his face against my chest. I dropped my cheek to the top of his head, held the back of his neck with one hand and rubbed big slow circles on his back with the other, while he got his thoughts together.

"I feel like I can't forget it," he said slowly. "Like part of me will be gone if I don't keep it in my head." He sighed deeply and I struggled for the right words to help him.

"Is there anything good that you can remember, and let the bad stuff go?"

He was quiet for a bit. "Yeah, some of them were nice to me. They gave me extra money, more than I had to give Rand, and sometimes they bought me something to eat. One guy gave me a jacket when it got cold."

Hearing him express gratitude for the basic needs that most kids never give a second thought to gave me chills and I hugged him close, more to comfort myself than him. I waited until I knew my voice would be steady before I replied.

"Then just keep those good parts, Max, and let the rest go. You never have to worry about any of that again, so just let it fade away."

He nodded against my chest and then lifted his head for a kiss. We sat there until Sam came home from a catered dinner, Max asleep in my arms, and Sam smiled at us when he walked into the den around ten.

"Is he okay?" he asked softly, bending down to kiss me hello. I took a hand off Max and held Sam's face to mine for a moment, happy to have him home. He knelt down next to the chair and hugged us both, waking up Max, who gave him a sleepy smile.

Christmas was only a few weeks away and we got the bug to decorate, so Max and Sam went for a tree while I dragged the boxes out of storage. I didn't have much since I had never really bothered, so I ran out and bought a bunch of stuff lights, tinsel, ornaments. Good thing cause they came back with two trees, a small one for the den where we spent our evenings, and a huge one for the entryway. We had a great time decking the halls, swigging down spiked eggnog and singing along with every holiday CD we owned.

It was a wonderful day. Max was happy and relaxed, his eyes bright with excitement as we stood the big tree up in the front hall. It was every inch of ten feet and we had to rig scaffolding out of two ladders and a couple boards to reach all of it. By the time we were finished, it was evening; I turned out the lights in that part of the house and handed Max the plug. As the tree lit up the big hall with hundreds of tiny white lights, my chest tightened and I turned to take Sam in my arms. He must have felt it too, cause he buried his face in my neck and held on tight for a long moment.

Max had stopped staring at the tree and was watching us with a sort of lost look on his face, so I went to him and wrapped him up in a hug. Looking at the changes in Max during his short while with us, I felt reassured that Sam had been right to bring him into our home. I thought of all the other kids Rand had ruined over the years. I couldn't save them all, but I was damn sure gonna see that this one got every possible chance at a decent life.

The weeks leading up to Christmas went by in a pleasant blur of shopping, parties, too many cookies, employee reviews and Zane's birthday party. I made sure Max had money for shopping, padding his Castlewood pay a little with a 'bonus', and he and Cas went off one afternoon with secretive smiles on their faces. Tay came by the barn to drop off a bottle of wine and told me he and Becky had called it off. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable with me and even gave me a big hug when he left. He looked kind of relieved and happier than he had been in a while, and I smiled as he rattled away down the lane, remembering that morning in my office.

Christmas Eve we went to my folks in the late afternoon; this time Max was much easier around them and our visit stretched into the early evening. They'd gotten him a digital camera with all the bells and whistles, and he spent the rest of the day consulting the manual and snapping photos, muttering to himself and hitting the 'garbage' key when he wasn't pleased with the results.

Then we stopped by Stiva's where the Stivaletti clan had an annual ongoing party in the big meeting room. They still had a restaurant to run but assorted cousins, uncles, aunts, and in-laws came and went throughout the night. There were several tables groaning with food and Max worked his way along them with a single-mindedness that made me smile.

The son of a third cousin looked more than a little interested in Max, and I came across them later sitting thigh to thigh out on the dark steps leading up to Sam's old apartment, talking away. Eduardo was in his early twenties and had the Stivaletti good looks. They looked great together, I mused, as I went back inside to have a Christmas drink with Sam and Vincent.

I mentioned Max and Eduardo to Sam, who thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Eddie's okay. A little, uh, undecided maybe, but he's not a bad kid."

"Undecided, as in he can't make up his mind whether to be a cop or a fireman?"

"No, smartass, undecided as to whether he likes boys or girls. Right now he seems equally fond of both."

"Oh, my God." I groaned, hanging my head.

He chuckled and slung an arm around my neck to pull me close. "Quit worrying about him, Dean. How much trouble can he get into sitting on the steps?"

I raised my eyebrows at him and he blinked, suddenly remembering more than one night when we were first seeing each other that we hadn't made it up more than five steps before our clothes started coming off.

"Right. I'll check on them in a minute," he said, handing me a glass of Stiva's famous Holiday Punch, the ingredients of which Sam wouldn't tell even me. I drank it down with abandon, knowing Sam was staying sober enough to drive us home. He came back from checking on Max and Eddie with a slightly embarrassed expression, and rolled his eyes when I looked at him.

"They were kissing," he said, beginning to smile. "Maybe Eddie isn't as undecided as I thought." We gave them another ten minutes, then collected Max from Eddie's arms and went home to bed.

Christmas morning Max woke up early and came into our room with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies. I groaned at the sight of more cookies, but he looked so pleased with himself that I ate one anyway. Apparently he had memories of his grandma always making hot chocolate on Christmas morning, and this was the first chance he'd had in years of actually doing it. We lounged in bed for a while, but I could tell Max wanted to get to the presents, so we headed down to the den and settled around the little tree.

Maria had left small packages for each of us, so we opened those first, giggling at the holiday boxers she'd gotten us. Each was a different color, but all of them had Rudolph on the front with his snout right over the fly, so when you stuck your cock out, well, you get the idea. We put them on and had a hilarious red nose contest which Sam won and then moved on to the other presents.

I handed Max an envelope first. He bent it back and forth a few times with a puzzled expression, then tore off the end and pulled out a folded sheet of paper and a check book. He opened the paper first, stared at the statement of deposit, and raised astonished eyes to me. I had taken my share of 2nd and 3rd place Gran Prix money and opened an investment account for him with Chris's firm.

"You can't touch that till you're twenty-five, except to add to it. If you leave it alone and let Chris manage it for you, you'll have a good chunk of change by the time you start thinking about retirement."

My generous bonus from Chloe had become a checking account in his, Sams and my name. "The checking account is yours to do whatever with, although Sam is going to monitor your spending for a while. We'll keep you fed and clothed, so it's for your own personal use CDs, movies, camera gadgets, stuff like that."

He looked down at the documents in his hands, rubbing his thumbs across the cover of the checkbook, and I could tell he was trying not to cry, so I tossed him another small package. Max's gift from Sam was the key to the little pickup truck Stiva's had used as a delivery vehicle for a couple years. They were just replacing it with something larger. Max still needed to get a license, but he was thrilled, launching himself at Sam and covering him with kisses. He then dashed out to the garage to look at it. We'd had it painted midnight blue and it looked like new.

We'd also gotten him a laptop computer, loaded with the latest version of Photoshop, and a little photo printer so that he could manipulate photos from his new camera, and he spent most of the day figuring it out. Later that evening he showed me a photo he'd snapped of Sam, to which he'd applied a water effect so that Sam looked like he was floating just under the surface of a lake. Odd but interesting, and he was having a ball with it.

Sam and I had made a substantial joint donation to an organization that worked at getting kids off the streets and had gotten each other only a card. You'd think on our first Christmas as a couple we'd have gone nuts with presents, but having only a card to give him made me really work at it. I'd made him a little booklet with my favorite photos of us and my memories of those times written underneath. He had bought me a card from the store that had several blank pages, and he wrote about the months since he'd moved in, how much richer his life was now, how much it meant to know I'd be next to him every night. I read it several times, soaking up the words he'd written to me, and when I looked up at him, he was watching me with the same expression I could feel on my face. I leaned over and kissed him slowly, lingering in his mouth, deeply happy that he was in my life.

Max picked up a flat package about a foot square and handed it to me shyly. "I made you something, you and Sam. It doesn't seem like much after what you've given me, but I hope you like it."

I tore the paper off a picture frame, hand-made from old barn wood, weathered and gnarled. As I turned it over, both Sam and I drew in a breath of amazement. Matt had drawn us in plain old #2 pencil on a sheet of ordinary copy paper, and it was exquisite. We were hugging loosely, leaning back to smile at each other, with the suggestion of our kitchen in the background. The sketch showed us from the hips up, and he had captured us perfectly; the simple black and white drawing glowed with love and contentment.

His initials were in the bottom left corner.

"Oh, Max." I looked at him in astonishment. "This is just beautiful. My God, I didn't know you could draw."

He was grinning at our obvious delight with his gift. "Yeah, since I was little. It's the one thing I could do no matter where I was or what was going on. You just need a pencil and paper. I can do watercolors a little, too, but I thought pencil was better for this. Ernesto helped me with the frame."

Sam had gone out to the kitchen after staring at the drawing for several moments. He returned with a hammer and nail and tapped it into the wall near the door so we could see it from the couch where we sat every night. I got up and hung the drawing, then stepped back to admire it, pulling Max into a hug as I did.

"Thank you, Max. That's the most personal gift anyone has ever given us, and I love it. We'll have to get you some supplies. Do you wanna see if we can get you into an art school?"

"That'd be great. I've got the knack, but I could really use some training."

After a late breakfast, Sam headed off to the restaurant for the early dinner seating, and Max and I went to the barn to clean and feed. James and Ernesto had done the morning feeding before they'd driven to Ernesto's folks' house but hadn't cleaned, so it took us a several hours to do all the horses. Ginger was looking much better after a month of steady groceries, and I'd quit worrying that she was going to drop dead in her stall. She nickered when she saw Max, and he gave her extra carrots while he cleaned. After she ate, I got out an old western saddle and bridle, brought her out to the cross ties and tacked her up with a gel pad to cushion her back.

She stood quietly as I mounted in the round pen and walked out calmly when I legged her. When I asked her to shift gears, she broke into a soft, slow jog that I sat without difficulty. I hadn't planned on loping her, but she seemed fine, so I asked for a left lead. She lifted into it without hesitation and moved around the ring on a loose rein until I asked her to stop, which she did quickly, sliding like a stock horse and almost unseating me. I looked at her with new respect and decided to see if Sky wanted to sell her. Faith couldn't find anything wrong with her, so we still didn't know why someone had decided to starve her almost to death.

Max was watching from the fence, and I called him in as I dismounted. "Climb on from the left and settle in. The stirrup length should be okay. Hold the reins in one hand, lay them against her neck, and leg her gently with your inside leg to put her on the rail."

He rode her for half an hour, and then we went home to join Sam for dinner. Cas arrived just as we were sitting down, so he joined us. Max ran upstairs and came back to hand him a small package.

As Cas tore the paper off, his face broke into a grin. After a minute of studying it, he handed me a picture frame that held a drawing of him holding the Gran Prix trophy up against his chest in one hand while the other was clenched in a fist pump next to his shoulder. It was practically a snapshot of the moment Cas had been handed the trophy at the awards presentation in Florida, and Cas's immense satisfaction came through loud and clear.

Cas grabbed Max in a big hug and held on tight as he spoke. "Thank you, I love it." He pulled back to look at me. "How did you like the one of you and Sam? Isn't it great?"

I agreed that it was, and he said that Max had shown it to him at the barn when Ernesto was helping him frame it.

"But I didn't know you did one of me," he added, pulling Max close again. Max looked content in Cas's arms closing his eyes happily. Cas touched Max with the same affectionate frequency that Sam and I did.

After dinner Cas asked Max to take a walk with him, and they strolled around the neighborhood for an hour or so. Cas left without coming back in the house, and when Max came inside, he was smiling to himself.

I couldn't decide what I thought about Max and Cas. Not that they were together, but it certainly seemed as though Cas had some interest. I'd had Cas paired with Adam for so long in my mind that it was hard to think of him with someone else. Cas and I had always been good friends, but our time together at the GPs while Sam was gone had brought us very close. I loved and respected Cas, but I cared enough about Max to feel a pang at the thought of him with someone else even Cas. I had no illusions that Max would live out his life under our roof, but I wasn't looking forward to the day he'd leave, either.

We settled in front of the fire in the den. Max was quiet, staring into the fire with a pensive expression. I was leaning back against Sam with my feet in Max's lap, and poked him gently with a toe.

He turned and looked at me for a long moment, his eyes steady on mine, then crawled up and lay down next to me so that he could hug both of us.

"You guys saved my life," he said softly, resting his head against my chest while he looked at Sam. "And I can't ever thank you enough for that. I love you both." It was almost a teary moment, but Max's kisses of gratitude got hotter, so we abandoned the couch for our big bed. His quiet mood carried over into the bedroom, and as we were settling in for two blow jobs (mine from him and his from Sam), he suddenly stopped and sat up.

"Will one of you fuck me, please?" He rushed the words out, then calmed down a little and spoke more slowly. "I don't even know if I like it or not. I just did it when some guy wanted to, but I never enjoyed it." He looked at me. "I've watched you when Sam fucks you, and you seem to love it, so I want to try it again now that it's just us."

So far, Max had shown no interest in fucking from either side, and I'd begun to wonder if his years on the streets had left him with a permanent aversion. I'd sucked him off several times by now, but I'd never gone near his hole with my tongue or a finger, and he hadn't encouraged me to.

Sam and I looked at each other; I nodded at him, and he looked back to Max. "Are you sure you really want to." Max nodded and lay down on his back with his knees bent and spread, looking trustingly up at Sam, who lowered his weight onto Max and began to kiss him. I almost felt like I should leave the room, but I scooted up to one corner of the bed and watched the slow, loving arousal designed to make it an intimate experience Max would never forget.

As I watched, I recalled that first night in Sam's apartment. He had been a talented lover back then and he had only improved with age, so I knew what Max was feeling. By the time Sam began to work his cock into him, Max's mouth was open, and he gave little panting moans every time he exhaled. Sam went very slowly, pushing in a little more each time Max relaxed a little, and I could see the strain on Sam's face as he fought to control his response to the feel of Max's body tight around him.

By the time Sam was fully in, Max had broken a sweat, his smooth body gleaming in the dim light of the room. I went to him then, lying along side so I could kiss him and rub his chest. As I touched him, he turned to me blindly, burrowing into me and clutching my hand. Sam groaned when Max moved. I kissed Max's face and cupped his cheek. "You okay?" I asked him softly. Max didn't speak, but I felt him nod against me.

Sam was still as a statue, eyes shut, gripping Max's legs and breathing raggedly. As I watched him, he began to move in long strokes, clenching his jaw each time he pushed in. Eventually Max started to move with him, and I backed off again. Despite his exceptional control, I didn't think Sam would last long, and I was right. He soon began to move more quickly as Max's moans rose to a high keening.

I watched Sam lift Max's hips to get a better angle at his prostate. That was it for Max, and he shuddered through an orgasm so intense I thought he was going to pass out. He didn't breathe at all through his usual copious shots, and when he finally did, it was in huge gasping breaths with his eyes wide open.

Sam came with a growling snarl that twisted his face and looked like it actually hurt. He bared his clenched teeth and hung over Max on stiff arms while his body jerked. Finally he gave one last convulsive shiver, pulled out of Max, and fell over onto his back. He was dripping wet, and his chest rose and fell like a bellows as he tried to catch his breath.

Max rolled onto his side and reached for me. As soon as I put my arms around him, he began to cry, and Sam recovered enough to come to us, searching my face. I shook my head, not sure what the problem was, and I rocked Max for a few minutes while he gradually got himself under control. I wiped his face with a corner of the sheet and handed him the tissue box to blow his nose, which he did noisily like a little kid.

After a moment, he looked up at me and said in a quavery voice, "I can see why you like it so much," and then began to laugh in a watery, snuffly chuckle that had Sam and me smiling. "I'm not crying cause I'm scared or anything. It was just so intense."

Max slept with us that night, tucked safely into the curve of Sam's body, while I lay facing them, holding Sam's hand as it draped across Matt. It was a fine end to Christmas Day.

We decided sort of at the last minute to host a New Year's Day buffet brunch and phoned all the guys on the 29th to let them know. We included Gabriel, since I knew he didn't have any family around; even if he wasn't gay, I figured he could handle us for a few hours. Everyone accepted except Adam, who had decided to go to Houston to attend a party his law firm was holding. He hadn't been around in a while, and I was beginning to wonder what the deal was.

As Sam left for work that morning, I told him to invite Eduardo. He eyed me and asked if I was playing matchmaker.

"No, but they seemed to hit it off at the Christmas thing. I think it would be good for Max to hang around with someone closer to his own age, don't you? It'll just give them a chance to see each other again."

"Max knows the way to Stiva's. If he wants to see Eddie, he can drive over any day of the week."

"I just thought I'd give it a helping hand, okay? Don't invite him then."

He just smirked at having gotten me to admit it and walked out the door, but Eddie called me later that afternoon and thanked me for the invitation.

We spent a fairly quiet New Year's Eve. With Adam gone, I invited Cas to come over for the evening. We ordered pizza and sat in the hot tub for a while, Max being naked for the first time with someone other than Sam and me. He didn't seem at all shy about shucking his shorts in front of Cas, and we had a relaxing night, coming inside in time for the ball to drop in Times Square. We all kissed and hugged at midnight, and then Cas left and we went to bed.

The next morning we slept late, getting downstairs just in time to start coffee before the first guests arrived. At my suggestion, Jesse and Ben arrived a little early, and I took them into the kitchen where Max was helping Sam. I watched Jesse as he caught sight of Max, then looked at Max to see what Jesse was seeing.

Max was dressed in jeans and a sweater my mom had given him for Christmas, which was the same color as his eyes and looked wonderful on him. He had gained 21 pounds in the two months since Jesse had brought him over here that afternoon; the hollows in his cheeks were gone, and his butt had rounded out nicely, a detail not missed by Jesse's observant eyes.

Max didn't see Jesse right away, and Jesse just stood there for a few moments while his smile got wider and wider.

"Hey, Max."

At Jesse's voice, Max turned around with a surprised expression, which broke into a delighted grin when he saw who'd spoken to him. He put down the knife he'd been slicing bread with and walked right into Jesse's open arms. They hugged for a long minute, then Jesse held him at arm's length to take a good look. "God, you look great, Max. It's wonderful to see you happy and healthy. These guys are taking good care of you, huh?"

"Yeah, they are." He pulled away. "I have something for you. Let me get it." He trotted out of the room. I shrugged at Jesse's questioning look, but by now I had a pretty good idea what it might be. We got drinks and were sitting around the island when Max came back and handed a small frame to Jesse.

"It's from the night that Sam and I went into Rand's. You were sitting at the table in the motel room, thinking."

Jesse's face had gone from curiosity to astonishment as he looked at the drawing, much as mine had done when Max gave us our Christmas present. I leaned over to peer at it; in the drawing, Jesse was in profile, shown from the waist up. He was sitting with his elbow resting on a table and his chin on his fist, gazing down at the tabletop. The heavy muscles of his arm were bunched, and the fabric of his t-shirt stretched over his shoulder. His face was partially shadowed, and you could really feel Jesse's intensity.

"Jesus . . ." was all Jesse could manage at first. He stared at Max for a moment, then went back to the drawing. "I bet I didn't sit there like that for more than a few minutes."

Max shrugged. "I work from memory a lot. Most of the time I couldn't sit and draw something while it was in front of me, so I got good at remembering."

Ben had taken the frame from Jesse and was studying the drawing carefully. "It captures some the things I love most about you your strength and your determination," he told Jesse, then glanced at Max. "You have a real talent."

We'd left the gate open and the front door unlocked, and Cas wandered in just then with Gabriel, so we got the party underway. Sky arrived with Chris and Zane not long after, and Eddie, James, and Ernesto showed up just as we were starting the first round of omelets. Max seemed a little surprised to see Eddie, and I caught Cas watching me with a speculative look when he noticed Max and Eddie laughing together off in the corner.

After everyone had at least one plateful under his belt, I moved to the front of the room and cleared my throat. Sam joined me, standing partially behind me with an arm around my waist. "Sam and I have decided to make our relationship more formal." I paused and held up my left hand, waggling my third finger. "No one seems to have noticed this since I got it back at the end of August."

At that point I was cut off by "How blind do you think we are?" and "Of course, we noticed it."

"Then why didn't anyone ask me about it?"

Chris grinned at me. "We figured you'd tell us in your own good time, and now you are."

I shook my head at them. "Anyway, we're going to have some sort of ceremony here at the house in April, so keep it open."

Everyone was happy for us, and we spent a few more hours gathered in the kitchen, eating, drinking, and talking. Max and Eddie disappeared for a while, and I found them in Max's room, lying on the bed, fully clothed, talking. Max raised his head when I looked in the open door, but I just lifted a hand and went back downstairs. They joined the party after an hour or so when Eddie had to leave for his shift at the restaurant.

Sky moved into JD's house the first week in January. Tay had found another shoer, so Sky began spending most of his time at Castlewood, trailing around behind Faith as she doctored the various ills produced by a stable of 40 horses. He quickly became proficient at a lot of the basic stuff shots, bandaging, and diagnosing foot and leg ailments, since he'd done that as a farrier. He also kept all the horses' feet in good repair. We went to lunch a few times a week, and it was nice to have him around all the time.

I'd never gotten over my infatuation with Sky and enjoyed cornering him in the hay barn or tack room now and then for a few hot kisses. One afternoon it went a little further than that, and we ended up with Sky's dick in my hand and my tongue down his throat. Other than Max, Sam and I hadn't gotten together with anyone since he'd been attacked in mid-August. It was now early January, and I was obviously more than ready, so later I gave Sam a quick call. He hesitated for just a second before saying it sounded good. I tracked Sky down and invited him over for a continuation of our tack room session.

I told Max at dinner that Sky was coming over and why, and that he was welcome to join us if he was interested and felt comfortable about it. He thought for a minute, but then said he'd pass this time, except maybe for a kiss or two. One time when I was telling Max how I'd met some of our friends, I'd told him how well Sky kissed, and he'd been curious ever since.

Sky showed up about 8pm, freshly showered and looking like a poster boy for the hunk of the month club, in faded, old jeans and a white t-shirt that looked like it had been molded to him. I had called him earlier with Max's request, so I let Max get the door and gave them a few minutes to talk.

We sat around the den for a while, having a drink and starting to play on the couch. Sky sat between Max and me, with Sam watching us from a nearby chair. Sky pushed me down and kissed me silly for a few minutes, picking up where we'd left off in the tack room. When he had me half-hard and breathing heavy, he turned to Max and leaned into him, kissing his cheek first, and then working his way to his mouth. Max was ready for him, and their first kiss hardened my dick the rest of the way.

As I've said, Sky was just a natural-born kisser, and Max wasn't immune to his talent. He turned toward him and rose to one knee to face Sky on the couch. Sky pulled Mat's free leg across his lap so that Max was straddling him, and gripped his hips as Max held onto Sky's shoulders. I was a little surprised at Sky's aggressiveness, but Max came to him willingly. After a few minutes, Max broke the kiss, looked at Sky with a dazed expression, and then got to his feet and walked from the room. Sky gave me a confused look.

"He's not used to world-class kissing," I explained. Sky laughed, but was cut off as Sam clamped his mouth over Sky's and shut him up. We ended up staying in the den, putting the different levels floor, couch seat, and couch back to good use. Sky had learned to top pretty well, moving his cock around in my ass in a leisurely fashion that got the job done without feeling rushed. I'm not fond of being pounded away at when nothing's being accomplished, so Sky's style suited me.

Sky had me bent over the couch with Sam under me, sucking my cock and tweaking my nipples. I loved being the center of attention, but I didn't last very long. I blew my load all over Sam's chest as Sky buried his cock and took short strokes that hit me perfectly. After Sky pulled out, I sank to my knees and knelt there for a few minutes while Sam pulled Sky around to the other side of the couch.

By the time I joined them, Sky's knees were up by his shoulders, and Sam was dragging his tongue up Sky's ass from his hole to his nuts in long firm strokes that had Sky's head arched back into the cushions. I watched for a few minutes, listening to the slurp of Sam's mouth and Sky's soft moans, then moved up to kiss Sky, playing with his cock while Sam drove him crazy.

Eventually Sam climbed up to work his cock into Sky, who grunted softly with each additional inch Sam shoved into him. I fondled Sky's balls, enjoying the feel of Sam's tight belly bumping into my hand on every stroke. When he got close, I bent to take Sky's dick into my mouth. I sucked hard as he pumped into me, flooding my mouth with hot cum. Sky's orgasm triggered Sam's, who leaned back, his cock deep in Sky as he came.

We had another drink before Sky left, then went up to bed where Sam flopped onto his belly with spread legs and moaned his way through a slow screw that I was surprised I had the energy for.

The following week, I was sitting in the sun by the stallion paddock, cleaning tack and feeding Kahn a carrot now and then, when Cas pulled into the yard and walked over to me, his face solemn. Kahnl nickered at him, and Cas buried his face in the big horse's neck for a minute and then sat down next to me as he blew out a big sigh.

"Well, Adam and I are officially through."

I looked at him in shock. "Really? What happened?"

"He came over last night, first time in weeks, and told me that it wasn't ever gonna happen between us and that he wouldn't be coming around any more."

"Jesus, did you guys have a fight or something?"

"No, nothing that dramatic. Back in August right after Sam was attacked, I asked him to move in with me. Ever since you and Sam got together, it's been bugging me that he wouldn't get more serious about us, so I pushed it a little. He said no, obviously, and I admitted to myself then that we weren't ever gonna get together." He sighed again. "I've been working on accepting that, but I'm so ready to settle down."

I leaned over to hug him, and he sat there for another few minutes. I felt terrible for him, and was surprised at Adam ending it like that. They'd been friends, in and out of bed, for several years, and seemed to really enjoy each other.

Adam settled the mystery that afternoon with a phone call. "Can you meet me for dinner?"

He was in the bar with a drink when I got there and got right to it when my drink arrived. "I broke it off with Cas. I just wanted you to know."

I nodded, looking down into my glass. "He told me. What's going on with you?"

"I'm just not ready to play house, and I know that's what he wants. He asked me to move in a while back." He sighed. "I'm lousy boyfriend material, Dean. I like screwing around, and I'm not ready to be with just one guy even one as good as Cas."

"He's been waiting a while already. He might wait a while longer."

"That's just it. I don't want him to wait anymore. I don't like having that hanging over my head. He needs to move on and find someone who wants the same things he does, and he won't do that unless I quit seeing him."

I shook my head sadly. "Well, you're probably right, but just for the record I think you're a fool."

He didn't like that much, and I ended up going home after my drink. Max was in the kitchen when I came in from the garage and turned to me in surprise. "I thought you were eating with Adam."

"Nope. What did you guys have?" I was pissed at Adam and feeling bitchy as I yanked open the door to the fridge and stared at the contents without seeing anything.

Max moved closer, but didn't touch me. "Leftover lasagna from last night, but we ate it all. I can make you some eggs or something." His voice was soft, and I knew he could tell how upset I was. I let the fridge door close and turned to Max with a frustrated sigh.

"I need a hug."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I put my forehead down on his shoulder as he squeezed me. I knew what was bothering me. I was afraid that Max and Cas would get more serious now that Adam was out of the picture, and I wasn't ready for that. I thought I might never be ready for that. I kissed Max hotly enough to get a little moan out of him and then went up to bed without supper.

Sam came up an hour later with cheese and crackers and two cold beers, which we drank while I told him about Adam and Cas. He looked thoughtful, but didn't have much to say. He set my empty beer bottle on the bedside table, took the last swig of his own, and leaned down to take my soft dick into his mouthful of cold beer, swishing it around as it warmed up. The feel of the cold, bubbly liquid was a shock at first, and I almost pulled out of his mouth, but he held onto me, and I lay back to enjoy the first beer blow job I'd ever gotten. It certainly took my mind off Adam.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Fields of Gold  
Authors: Deans Dark Dream  
Pairings: Dean/Sam, Dean/Max/Sam  
Rating: M  
Warnings: Based on a RL love story. Slash, angst, hurt, comfort, love.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dean, Sam, Cas or Adam.  
Summary: Dean celebrates his Birthday. Donkeys take over Castlewood Equine Estate. Dean & Sam have their commitment ceremony with family and friends. Sam and Max testify against Rand. Dean, Sam and Max deal with the emotional affects of the trial.  
A/N: Saddle up my friends, it's going to be a wild ride! Love DDD

**Fields of Gold**  
**Chapter 4**

January had a few other high points. Max was doing excellently with his schoolwork, and the tutor said he should be ready to take the exams by April. He was eager to be done with it, so I cut him loose from his Castlewood job to stay home and study those two days each week. Maria loved his company and they became very close, which pleased me.

I knew it was good for him to have women in his life to give him that bit of maternal nurturing that living exclusively with men, even men who loved him, simply didn't offer. Between Maria and my mom, he was getting a healthy dose of it. He went over to my folks' house at least once a week for dinner, hanging out till bedtime. He helped my dad around the place, and always came home with half an apple pie or a big bowl of pudding with Vanilla Wafers and bananas.

Between Christmas and New Year's, Max had studied his driving book and spent several days driving all over the lanes and pastures of Castlewood until he felt comfortable behind the wheel. He got his license on the first try and proudly drove us to Starbucks to celebrate. I wondered if he'd be out all the time now , but things didn't change much. He mostly just drove himself to school and came home, stopping occasionally at Stiva's to see Sam or at Castlewood for a visit with Ginger.

A few days after Christmas, we'd gone to the only art store in town and bought more types of pencils, charcoals, paints, brushes, inks, pens, and paper than I ever knew existed. We also got a lovely maple case to haul it all around in. He spent hours that evening arranging everything neatly in the little compartments. I sat on the couch with Sam watching him ruffle the soft hair of a sable brush in the crook of his elbow, smiling at him when he looked up and caught me at it.

The nearest art school was too far away to be practical, but we learned of a talented local amateur painter who could give Max a solid start. I didn't know much about the guy except that his name was David and that he lived in a log cabin out in the pines with a big dog named Bonnie. Max and I drove out to meet him one afternoon and spent an interesting hour looking at his work and chatting with him. His large, sunlit studio sat on the banks of a creek that gurgled through his property. The studio was full of his work a lot of beautiful nature scenes, many with animals of some sort and an occasional portrait.

We came to a financial agreement, and they spent every Wednesday in David's studio or out in the open air if the weather was good. Max came home with lovely little pastel studies of water rippling over rocks in a stream, or a delicate charcoal drawing of pine trees along a ridge. I began to tack them up in the kitchen, and soon we had a little gallery of his work that I looked at often. When Chris offered Max $50 for a small watercolor of a bird sitting in a dead tree to have framed for his office, I began to take a closer look at them. He really was talented, and an idea began to percolate in the back of my mind.

I finally got seriously to work on the show grounds. I hired a contractor, and every day you could hear the roar of machinery as the bulldozers moved dirt around to create two slightly sunken arenas with slopes up from each side for spectators to sit on. We made a large graded area for rigs to park in, and had plans drawn up for a cinder block building to hold the show offices, a judges' room, a concession stand in one end, and bathrooms.

While all this was going on, Sky called one day.

"I need a hand. Can you send someone with a two-horse rig? I'm out here in just my truck."

"Sure. Where are you?"

"The old Walton place, out 76 just past the bridge."

"Yeah, I know it. What've you got now?"

He just chuckled. "You'll see."

I almost hollered for James, but then remembered Sky and Gabriel talking in the yard a few weeks ago and tracked down Gabriel, who was working with Ginger. "Go out to the old Walton place with the two-horse and find Sky." His face lit up and he put Ginger away quickly, hitched up the trailer, and was out of the yard in five minutes.

An hour later, I heard them coming even before I could see the dust from the truck, but I couldn't tell what the hell I was hearing. I'd been walking across the yard, and stopped to listen. As I realized what it was, I started to smile, and by the time they pulled to a stop in front of me, I was laughing out loud.

Sky and Gabriel met at the back of the rig, and they were both grinning at the squeaks and honks coming from the trailer. Sky opened one door, and a shaggy little creature hopped out onto the dirt, followed by another and then by a third. The noise tripled in volume as the three donkeys looked around their new home and hollered 'hello' at the top of their lungs.

I shouted at Sky over the racket. "Donkeys? You brought me donkeys? This is a HORSE farm."

He just grinned wider as the largest donkey took a deep breath and let loose with a hee-haw that hurt my ears. Gabriel took the lead rope of the smallest one and headed for the paddock furthest from the horses. The other two trotted amiably along behind and quieted down as Gabriel tossed them some alfalfa.

"What the hell?" I asked Sky as we followed them. "It's the JD Morgan Memorial Foundation for Unwanted HORSES," I enunciated clearly to him. "And they look fine to me. Their lungs certainly work okay!"

He was laughing too hard to answer me, so I turned to Gabriel, who had rejoined us, and raised an eyebrow at him sharply.

"They were about to load them on the slaughter truck," he said, sobering up quickly. "Have you ever seen one of those places?"

I hadn't, but I wouldn't wish that on any creature. "Why?"

"Just tired of them, I guess. The guy wouldn't say. We, uh, had to pay him for them."

"We BOUGHT them?" I exclaimed. This was getting better by the minute.

Gabriel looked to Sky, who had managed to stop laughing by then, and met my eyes with a resigned look. "I'll pay for them. It was only a hundred bucks."

He started to walk over to the paddock where the donkeys were happily gobbling down alfalfa, and Gabriel and I followed along. We went in with them, and they all crowded around us, nibbling at our pockets for treats. The littlest one looked up at me with those huge hairy ears flopped halfway over, and I was hooked. Sky was watching me, and when I looked up with a smile on my face, he grinned.

"All right, so they're cute," I growled at him, pushing the donkey gently away.

"Cute?" he yelled after me as I walked off. "They're fucking adorable, and you know it."

I gave him the finger and kept walking. When I got to the rig, I looked back at them. Sky had his hand on Gabriel's shoulder as they laughed about something and I smiled at the two of them surrounded by donkeys. Christ, what next.

My birthday was a Friday, and Max surprised me at breakfast with a framed charcoal of Kahn and me in a quiet moment at the stable. In it, I'm standing on the bottom rail of the pasture fence, and Kahn has his big head nuzzled into my chest as I scratch behind his ears. His eyes are closed and his lower lip is relaxed, drooping from his teeth a little. That's something we do regularly, and Max must have seen us one day when he was there to visit Ginger. The drawing was so evocative of the moment that it gave me a chill, and I just stood there staring at it, unaware of Max watching anxiously from across the table.

Finally he couldn't stand the suspense and began, "If you don't like it, I can-"

I looked up quickly. "No, Max. Jesus, I love it. I simply can't believe that you can capture so much feeling with a stick of charcoal. It just amazes me." I laid it carefully on the table and went to him, taking his face in my hands. "I love it and I love you. Thank you." I kissed him and gave him a long hug as he snuggled into me. He was sweet and affectionate and I felt very protective of him as his gentle, sensitive personality emerged.

Sam just kissed me and said he'd see me later, which I thought odd until I realized he must have some surprise in store for me. Max claimed to be clueless, so I went off to the barn. I looked behind every closed door for a party in the works, but everything seemed to be business as usual. The employees bought me lunch, and Bella produced a cake with candles that wouldn't blow out; we all got the predictable hoot out of that.

A little after five, Sam pulled into the yard and tracked me down in Ginger's stall, where Faith was giving her a pregnancy viability exam. Ginger was a long way from being ready to breed, needing a few hundred more pounds and some serious conditioning, but I wanted to know if the possibility existed. Faith had her arm buried inside Ginger clear to the shoulder, and Sam went pale as he watched her.

"Jesus, I didn't know you could do that."

"Well, a hundred pound baby horse fits through there."

Sam made a gagging noise. He told me to meet him at the car as soon as I could, and five minutes later we were rolling down the lane. He wouldn't say where we were going, just that I'd like it. It was a pretty evening, chilly and clear, and he handed me a heavy jacket as we parked in front of an old barn out at the western edge of the county.

I was glancing around when I heard an odd hiss and walked around the corner of the barn to see several people laying out a huge expanse of colorful material. One guy was aiming a flaming burner into one end of the thing, and I realized it was a hot air balloon. I turned to Sam in delight to find him grinning at me.

"Oh, God, I've always wanted to do this! How did you know?"

"I know everything about you, baby." Sometimes I felt that was true. He stepped behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he put his chin on my shoulder, and we watched the balloon begin to take shape. As it filled, I saw that it had a horse on the side, an old time trotting horse like you see on weathervanes now and then. Perfect.

We climbed into the basket, and as we soared up into the evening sky, my stomach did one of those squiggle things, like when you go over a little hill in the road too fast. I threw my head back and laughed as he smiled at me. "Happy birthday, Dean. I love you."

The pilot told us that the first manned hot air balloon ride had been made by the Montgolfiere brothers on an early morning in 1783, more than two hundred years ago. We floated east with the breeze, passing over Castlewood just as the setting sun was lighting the sky with pinks and golds. The old stone buildings looked solid and lovely; the miles of white fences gleamed in the dusk, their shadows snaking along beside them. We drank champagne with a light supper Sam had brought along. Champagne at 1000 feet is an experience in itself, and by the time we landed two hours later, I knew it was an evening I would remember forever.

When Sam took a turn away from the house instead of toward it, I glanced at him. He just tightened his hand on my leg, so I settled back to enjoy whatever he had planned. He drove down a winding lane that ended in front of a small bed and breakfast. The building was Victorian, painted in pastels, with turrets and gables, and more chimneys than I could count. Sam checked us in as I wandered around the common room admiring the period furniture.

At the door to our room, Sam stood aside and nudged me in ahead of him. I glanced around and sighed with pleasure; a fire was crackling in the grate, a steaming hot tub bubbled in one corner, and the downy comforter on the huge four-poster bed was turned down invitingly. I turned to him and pulled him close.

We hugged for a long time, and then he undressed me and handed me into the swirling water. I sank down with a sigh, and he joined me. We lounged there, watching the fire, until we were warmed up from the chilly balloon ride. As the logs crackled and snapped, he made love to me so tenderly that it felt like a dream. No one had ever gone to so much effort for me as Sam did that night, and I fell asleep to the sound of him murmuring my name. It was a great way to start my 31st year.

Morning was equally lovely. Breakfast was delivered to our door, and we stayed in bed as long as we could, but eventually we had to check out and go back to real life. I studied Sam's profile as he drove us home, and finally he turned to look at me questioningly.

"You're an amazing man," I told him. "God knows what I did to deserve you, but I'm never letting you go."

"Dean, you couldn't get rid of me if you wanted to. You and I are forever. You know that, right?"

I nodded at him; if I knew anything at all, I knew that.

When we got home, Cas's SUV was in the drive, and I looked at Sam, who replied, "I asked him to come stay with Max last night."

They were just making lunch when we came into the kitchen. Max turned to me with a smile and Cas glanced at me a little hesitantly. After we ate, Cas followed me into the hall when I went to take our bags upstairs.

"I slept with him," he offered, his chin up and his eyes wary. "He initiated it, and I didn't turn him down."

I nodded, knowing it had to happen eventually, but feeling a small pang of loss just the same. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that you and Adam are history?"

"No. I was interested in Max before that happened. You know that. And you know I wouldn't do that to him or to you, for that matter."

I nodded at him; I did know that. "Just be careful with him, please. He's had a truly awful life up to now. I know I can't protect him from everything, but . . ." I looked up to see Cas watching me with compassion.

"I will, Dean, I promise. I care about him, too."

"He's so young."

"He's old enough." His eyes met mine steadily for a long moment.

I reached for him, and he came into my arms with a sigh. We hugged, and then I went up to our room and lay on the bed for a bit, thinking about how life works out. Sam came up a while later and lay down behind me with a hand on my hip.

"You upset about them being together?"

I shook my head. "No, it was going to happen sooner or later. Better Cas than someone we don't know. Max is so young. He's just now getting the chance to find out who he is."

"Maybe being with Cas is part of that."

"Maybe," I agreed, then rolled over to hug Sam. "Yesterday was incredible. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Dean. I loved it, too."

In mid-afternoon, I trotted down to the stable to ride Xia. I was just about to pony Flex along on a lead rope when Max showed up. "Can I come?"

I helped him saddle Flex and we took a leisurely ride along the trails through the neighborhood. He remembered his short ride on Ginger and caught on quickly, moving easily with Flex when he took a few quick sideways steps to avoid a darting quail. Max was quiet, and I figured he was working up to talking to me about Cas. I was right.

"Are you angry at me?" he finally asked.

I looked at him in surprise. "No, Max. Why would you think I was?"

"Cause I was with Cas." His voice was small and it hurt me to think he was upset about something that should have been fun and enjoyable.

I legged Xia over next to him and reached out to turn his face to me. "Max it's your decision who you sleep with. Not mine, not Sam's." I paused, wanting to explain it so that he would understand what I was feeling. "It makes us feel really good to be able to give you a shot at a better life. We love having you live with us, but you're not obligated to stay forever. You'll find someone of your own maybe Cas, maybe not." I let go of him and looked away. "It hurt a little to know that you were with him, I won't deny that, but not because it was Cas. He's a great guy." I turned back to him. "Just be careful with yourself because you're very important to us."

Max nodded solemnly, and we continued our ride. He disappeared when we got home and I hoped I hadn't upset him too much. That first day he'd come over with Jesse, a sacred, skinny kid with a crumpled paper sack, I'd never expected to feel all this emotion for him. Protectiveness, pride, love. He'd been with us only two months, but he felt like close family, and I wondered where life would lead him. I just hoped it wouldn't be too far away.

Neither Sam nor I felt like cooking, so we ordered Chinese. I hollered up to Max to see if he wanted to go with me to pick it up, and he trotted down the stairs with a quick glance at me and hopped in the car. I didn't think we were done with the subject of Cas yet, and Max launched back into it before we were out of the driveway.

"I kissed Cas the first time when we went Christmas shopping that day. We talk a lot when he takes me to lunch and when he was here Friday night, about how he wants to stop traveling so much and buy a house and stuff. And how Adam doesn't want that."

"What about you, Max? What do you want?"

He gazed out the window, playing with a button on his shirt until I reached over to lay my fingers over his. He gripped my hand and held it against his chest. "I like Cas. A lot. I like that he's older than me. I don't wanna hook up with another kid. I'd feel safer with someone who can look out for me a little. I need that."

His quiet acknowledgement of the scars his prior life had left behind tugged at my heart.

"You're awful young for that kind of decision. There are a lot of nice guys out there and you've got all the time in the world to meet them."

He turned to look squarely at me, his pale, slender face deadly serious. "I know all about how many guys are out there, Dean, and you're wrong that I'm too young. If I'd lived a normal life, I know I'd just now be starting to figure all that out, but I'm not a normal kid and I've had enough fucking around to last me a lifetime. I want what you and Sam have. I want the love and security of a relationship, my own relationship."

He fell silent, still holding my hand, and I thought about what he'd said. I couldn't imagine wanting to tie myself to one man at 18, but Max was right; I hadn't lived the life he had and that made a huge difference. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, and I had to strain to hear him. "But I think he still likes Adam."

I didn't know what to say to that. I wasn't sure what Cas was feeling any more than Max was. I just hoped to hell that Max wasn't a temporary fix to get Cas past Adam. Cas had said he wouldn't do that and I believed him, but I was afraid to encourage Max too much, just in case.

"Cas likes you, too, Max, but he needs some time to get over Adam. They've been close friends for several years." Max nodded, but didn't say anything else.

When we picked up the food, I introduced Max to Su-Lin Hong, the rail-thin Chinese lady who owned the little take-out place we frequented. She dug through the box of fortune cookies and made a big show of giving Max a particular one, pressing it into his palm with a mysterious smile. As she held his hands, he stared at her like he'd been hypnotized, and I had to pull him away by his shirtsleeve.

In the car, he held the cookie, looking at it now and then with wary eyes. I forgot about it when we got home, but he picked it up from the table when he was finished eating, turning it over and over in his hands.

Sam, who hadn't seen the odd way Su-Lin gave it to him, watched for a minute, then said, "You gonna eat that thing or not?"

Max jumped at his voice, crushed the cookie in his hand, and tore open one end of the wrapper, dumping the contents onto his plate. The little curved slip of paper sat on the pile of pieces and crumbs, and it was all I could do not to snatch it up to see what it said. Max stared at it, and then slowly lifted it with his thumb and forefinger, bringing it up to where he could read it. I watched his eyes slide back and forth, and then he began to smile.

"'Don't wade in the kiddie pool when you can swim in the ocean.'"

Sam frowned. "What does that mean?" he asked, looking at me for clarification.

I smiled at Max. "It means 'go for it'."

Max wandered away from the table after dinner and I found him later in his dark room, curled up in the big chair gazing out over the pasture where Flex and Xia were grazing in the dusk. I almost didn't see him when I glanced in, but he looked toward me and I caught the movement. He didn't invite me in and after a moment, I walked back downstairs to Sam, who was half asleep on the couch, and hugged him awake so that he'd hug me back.

I had taken Max's drawing of Kahn and me to my office and put it on my desk. Owners were in and out of there all the time and it wasn't long before Chloe caught sight of it. She snatched it up off the desk and took it to the window for a good look.

"This is beautiful. Who's the artist? When did you have it done?"

I explained that it was the same Max she'd met in Florida, and told her a little more about how he'd come to live with us and about his artistic abilities.

"Well, I'm a patron of the arts. I want a picture of me with Kahn and you. The three of us, and one of me with the dogs."

Chloe didn't go anywhere without her pair of Jack Russells, who were currently snoozing on my feet. I told her to let me talk to Max, and if he was interested, I'd have him call her. When I got home that night, I brought it up over dinner, recounting most of the conversation.

"So do you think you'd like to try that, Max? Doing work on commission is different than just drawing whatever you're in the mood for."

He had stopped eating when I got to the part about Chloe wanting to hire him, and was staring at me in horrified delight.

"Oh, my God, really? Do you think I'm good enough for what she wants? I mean, I know Chris bought that little one for his office, and you guys like your Christmas present, but . . ."

"Of course you're good enough, honey. Your work is beautiful and Chloe will be thrilled to 'discover' you. God knows where this could lead."

I gave him her number and he wandered off in a daze. He joined us in the den later, squaring his shoulders and putting on a determined expression.

"I'm going to meet her at the barn tomorrow to do some sketches and take some pictures." His voice was faint and I smiled at him, holding out my hand until he came to me. I tugged him down onto my lap and chewed on his neck until he giggled and squirmed closer.

The next morning, armed with his camera and a sketch pad, he snapped a number of pictures of Chloe, Kahn, me, and the dogs. Max was excited as he concentrated on composing every frame. When he finished, he smiled at Chloe.

When I got home a few nights later, Sam was alone in the kitchen and I asked where Max was, since one rarely cooked without the other. "He's got a date."

I turned and stared at Sam, who was smiling slightly. "A date?" I sounded just like every mother on every sitcom when her daughter goes out with some horny teenage boy for the first time. "With who?"

"Eddie."

"You told me last week that Eddie had a girlfriend."

"Yeah, well, I also told you that he was undecided. This week it's boys."

I poured a glass of wine and drank half of it quickly, choking a little when Max came in into the kitchen, dressed for his date. He was wearing black jeans, my nicely broken-in black ostrich Tony Lama cowboy boots, and the sweater my mom had given him for Christmas. He looked gorgeous and happy.

He'd gotten his hair cut shorter and it really suited him. His eyes were sparkling with excitement, and as he came toward me, I wasn't sure I'd be able to let him walk out the door. I totally abused the excellent wine Sam had opened, taking another big slug of it, which made him wince.

"Where you guys goin'?" I asked, trying to speak calmly.

Max glanced at Sam, and then looked at me. "Into town for dinner, then probably a movie."

"Who's driving?" I'd be damned if I'd let Max get into a car driven by a drunken, undecided Eddie.

"Well, Eddie's gonna pick me up here, so I guess he'll drive."

I put down my wine and went to him, stepping close and looking into his eyes. "You have to promise us that you will not get in the car with him if he drinks. You get the keys from him and you drive. Okay?"

Max nodded, a bit subdued by my forcefulness. "Okay. I'm not dumb, Dean."

"I know you're not, but it's easy to think that it was just one little drink, how much difference can it make? Just use your head."

When Eddie arrived, I made Max go bring him into the house for a minute. He was dressed in tight jeans and a black sweater, and he looked like a handsome thug, which did little to alleviate my protective instincts. Sam greeted him cheerfully and said something to him in Italian. Eddie eyed me for a second before nodding vigorously.

After they left, I turned to Sam. "What did you say to him?"

"I told him if any harm came to Max that you'd hack his balls off with a rusty knife and choke him with them, and I'd hold him down while you did it."

That made me feel a little better, but I expected I wouldn't sleep until I knew Max was safely home again.

Sky's donkeys quickly became the hit of the stable, charming everyone who saw them with their goofy noises and sweet, friendly personalities. We learned they were a family father, mother, and son. Mom and dad had once been part of a carnival that disbanded nearby. We named them Curly, Mo, and Sherry.

Gabriel took to coming to work a little early, and as he played with them, he discovered that they still knew a few simple tricks from their carny days. He gave them each a bath, trimmed up their shaggy coats, and it wasn't long before he was entertaining millionaire owners of pricey purebred horses with his little circus of donkeys shaking hands, counting with their hooves and standing on pedestals that Ernesto had knocked together for him, and bowing when they were finished. Curly, the baby, always got laughs when he'd shake his head at Gabriel whenever Gabriel told him to do something. I think he knew all the tricks, but it was more fun to waggle his head with his ears flopping around than it was to count to three.

It was all pretty damn cute, and we ended up building them a little pen with a shed out by the lane, just before you got to the yard. They slept in a stall at night so the coyotes wouldn't get them, but they spent the days in their pen, getting petted and fed by anyone with a minute to spare. Before a month was out, we had to grade a parking area next to the pen to keep the donkey visitors from parking all over the yard and getting in the way.

A few days after Max's Eddie date, I invited Cas over for dinner, but he begged off. "I'm, uh, going over to Zane and Chris's for the evening."

Interesting. "Okay. Well, have a good time. They're fun."

"I'm looking forward to it."

I mulled that over. I knew Cas had been with Chris and Zane a few times, but not in quite a while. Apparently, he was expanding his horizons now that Adam was out of the picture. I wondered what that meant for Max. That evening as I walked into the kitchen, Max glanced up from the island where he was getting salad fixings out of the fridge. It was quick, but I saw the flicker of disappointment cross his face when he realized I was alone.

"Cas's busy?" he asked me in a neutral tone that did nothing to disguise his feelings.

"Yeah, he is. He's spending the evening with Chris and Zane."

Max didn't look up, but his hands slowed to a halt as his mind processed the implications of my statement. Dinner was quiet, and Max went upstairs after helping with cleanup. I let him go, and for the first time since he'd come to live with us, his door was closed when Sam and I went up to bed. I stood outside it for a minute, wondering if I should intrude on his obvious wish for solitude. Sam took my hand and pulled me into our room, where he undressed first me, then himself.

"Leave him be, Dean. You can't fix everything."

I knew that, but it gave me a little ache to know that Max was unhappy. I didn't blame Cas; I was more irritated at Adam for upsetting the applecart by not returning Cas's affection. Sam got impatient with my mental meanderings and dragged me down onto the bed.

"Baby, let it go." He tugged the quilt up over us and draped himself half over me with his face in my neck. I fell asleep counting the seconds between his warm breaths washing over my skin.

I felt better in the morning, and when Zane came slouching out of Cher's stall the next afternoon, I stopped to say hey.

"You guys have a good time with Cas?" I asked as he put his tack away.

"Yup," he nodded thoughtfully. "That boy's gotta nice ass on him."

I laughed. Cas's ass _was_ one of his better features.

"It's from all that jumping. See?" I said, turning halfway around and sticking my butt out at him. He gave it an appreciative pat, then slid his hand deeper and gave me a good squeeze. I yelped in surprise, hopping out of his grip.

"Jesus, Zane!"

He grinned at me and went back to Cher.

I called Sam to ask him to come home early but he couldn't get away.

He laughed at my frustrated tone. "Call Cas if you're so desperate or Max should be home this evening."

I was silent for a moment. "Are you serious?"

It was his turn to pause. "Yeah, I am. The longer you and I are together, and the more sure I am of us, the less it bothers me if you do someone we know when I'm not around."

I gave that a long thought. "I guess I feel the same way about certain guys. I hadn't really thought about it like that until you just said it. Love you Sam."

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I know you do, baby. Have a good evening, and I'll be home as soon as I can."

I was totally preoccupied by that conversation for the rest of the day, and Kahn dumped me on my ass when I asked him for an extended trot and he bucked instead. I landed on a foot and one hand and rolled out of it, but it's still a long way to the ground, and I knew I'd be sore. I climbed back on and got the trot out of him.

When I hobbled into the kitchen that night, Max pulled out a chair and got me an ice pack for my hip, which had taken the brunt of the impact. He pulled my shirt off and cleaned up the scrapes on my shoulder, gently rubbing some lotion on them. When he began to massage my neck, I sighed in contentment at the feel of his hands and dropped my head to my chest

After dinner, we curled up on the couch together. I was sitting with my feet up on the coffee table, and Max was lying across my lap with my dick in his armpit. I had one hand on his chest and the other ruffling his hair. He was feeling friendly and turned to kiss me during the commercials. The feel of his smooth body, so different from Sam's, got me thinking about our phone conversation, and I started getting hard. Max noticed and muttered that he wished Sam would hurry up and get home.

I turned off the TV and pulled Max upright so I could look at him as we talked. "You want to play, Max? Just you and me?"

He looked at me for a second, and blinked. "Is that cool with Sam? I mean, it's always been the three of us."

"Yeah, it's okay with him. In fact, he suggested it since he has to work late." I reached out to touch his cheek. "How do you feel about it?"

He shrugged. "I love you both, so, yeah, let's do it. I was wantin' to . . . I just thought we had to wait for him."

He turned his mouth into my hand, kissing my palm, and then dragged his tongue up my wrist to my inner elbow where he sucked softly. I had no idea the nerve endings on the inside of my elbow were connected to my cock, but apparently so, as my dick bounced around in my shorts. I flopped lengthwise on the couch as Max worked his way up my arm, ending up with his mouth on my nipple, licking it to a hard peak.

I pulled him to me and kissed him, feeling the pressure of his hands where he leaned on my legs. He lowered himself onto me, and I cupped his ass in both hands, holding him tight for a minute, enjoying the feel of his cock hardening against mine.

Max had taken to wearing boxer briefs, and I slid one hand under the waistband as he pulled himself up me, grinding our crotches together. As he moved up my body, my hand followed the curve of his butt, and my finger dropped into the crack of his ass, warm with his body heat. He arched his pelvis into me, which lifted his butt into my hand, and my finger found its target, soft and wrinkled.

We kissed for a long time as I slowly worked my finger into him. He moved with my hand, and soon I was buried in him, tight in the slick heat of his hole. The pressure of his ass muscles dragged against the sensitive skin on the sides of my finger, and I lay there imagining that feeling on my hard cock. Max left my lips to breathe open-mouthed against my neck, his body thrusting slowly onto my finger as our cocks rubbed together between our tense stomachs. Finally, he lifted his head to look at me with eyes that were heavy and dark with arousal.

"Please, Dean," he whispered.

He didn't have to tell me what he was asking for. He moaned as I eased my finger from him and pulled him to his feet. Supporting him with my arm around his waist, we walked upstairs to my room, where I tossed a pillow into the center of the bed and then tugged down his underwear.

"On your tummy," I whispered to him as I pushed him gently onto the bed.

He lay down with the pillow under his lower belly, pushing his cock and balls down where I could get to them. I crawled up between his legs, pushing them further apart as I settled in. I wet a finger and dragged it down toward his balls, gliding over his pucker each time until he was moaning and pushing into my hand in an attempt to get me back inside him.

I got to my knees, lubed my cock well, and positioned myself to enter him. My initial penetration was a slow push that eased me into him and he exhaled in a shuddery 'uhhh' that made my cock lurch inside him. I stopped, holding his hips still for a moment as I struggled for control. This was only the second time I'd fucked him, and he felt really good; the elastic strength of his ass held me firmly. I had to work hard at not shooting in the first thirty seconds, but gradually I got used to the feel of him and started to stroke.

I fucked him slowly for a while, just cruising along with my eyes closed, listening to the sounds our bodies made together, and the little moans he gave every time he exhaled. Just as I was about to drop forward onto my hands, a shadow fell over the bed, and Sam's warm mouth settled onto the back of my neck for a moment.

He slid his tongue up to my ear and whispered, "You two look damn HOT together." He kissed me wetly as he pinched my nipple, shooting a zing to my nuts, and then lay down next to Max. "Hi, Max. Havin' fun?"

Max managed a smile, then moaned as Sam kissed him long and deep, sucking at his bottom lip. Sam rubbed Max's back, working his way down until his hand was caressing the smooth stretch of Max's hole around my swollen cock. After a moment, he sat up to look at what he was doing. Having him touch us like that, just tracing his fingertips softly along where our bodies joined, and watching while he did it, almost undid me, and I had to stop him after a few minutes.

Sam moved around behind me, where he pushed Max's legs together with mine outside them, and stood straddling me. I heard the 'pop' of the lube bottle, and a moment later Sam's slick finger slid into my ass. He pushed me forward so that I was lying over Max, propped on my elbows, and then gripped my hips. "Hang on," he muttered, and entered me with a quick thrust that took my breath for a second.

Max had craned his head around at my gasp, and when he realized what was happening, he moaned, "Ohhh, God . . ."

Sam pumped a few times to get his cock seated in my ass and then told me to start moving again. I began to thrust slowly while Sam adjusted his angle and distance so that when I was deep in Max, the head of his cock was barely inside me. When I withdrew from Max, I was impaled on Sam's steel rod.

I began to move more quickly, and the feel of having Sam's cock up my ass while my dick was buried in Max's tight hole was just about unbearable. I stared at the wall and thought about the donkeys and about reality tv anything except the fact that I was fucking and being fucked by the two men I loved most in the world, but it wasn't much help, and finally my nuts began to churn.

"Fuck," I panted. "I'm not gonna last much longer."

"Go for it, Max," Sam grunted, and Max pushed his hips up slightly, reaching in to grab his dick. He began to tense up after only a minute or two. By the time he blasted into the sheets, his body trembling in little bursts, I had my face in the back of his neck, gritting my teeth and barely moving. The spasms of his ass around my sensitive cock head flipped my switch, and I short-stroked into him as I came in quick shots that jerked my body.

Sam managed to wait until I was finished, then pulled me up tight to him, banding one arm around my hips and the other around my chest. He drove into me hard four or five times, jerking me loose from Max, then slammed in and strained against me as he unloaded deep inside me, his cock pulsing rhythmically. Our bodies were pressed so tightly together that I could feel the contractions low in his belly against my ass as each shot surged up from his balls.

He gradually loosened his hold on me and pulled out as I leaned over to kiss Max before lying down between them. Max dozed for a while, but eventually, after some intense goodnight kisses, went to his own room for the night. I got up for a drink of water and came back to find Sam propped against the headboard. He smiled and settled his arm around me when I crawled up to lay against his chest.

"You got home early," I said, running my hand down his belly to touch his soft cock where it lay against his leg. I know all about the physiological mechanics of an erection, but it's still a wonder to me to look at a soft penis, especially one like Sam's, which is quite average when flaccid, and know that it can grow to become so thick and hard.

"Yeah, Vincent said he'd finish up."

"You should of called. I'd have waited for you."

He didn't say anything for a minute. "When I came upstairs and saw you with Max, I realized that all I wanted to do was be with you, in you, while you were with Max. It was so different than being there from the beginning."

I smiled against his chest, where I was licking the soft skin around his left nipple. "Yeah, it was a little odd to start without you. When you kissed my neck, I got this big rush of love and lust for you."

He smiled and kissed me, then sat back and looked at me soberly. "Do you really feel like you said on the phone? That it's okay for us to be with someone else solo?"

I was silent for a minute, making damn sure that what I was about to say was what I truly felt. This was a door we hadn't really opened before, and it's always easier to not go there to begin with, than to try to undo it later.

"Well, not quite the way you're putting it, no. I'd be okay with it being someone we knew well, and that both of us were comfortable with like Cas or Max. But it would have to be a situation like tonight, when you weren't gonna be home or I was out of town or something, not just for the hell of it; and I'd want to know about it beforehand. No surprises." I paused for a moment. "Maybe I'm not as comfortable with it as I thought. I mean, I am, but under certain conditions."

Sam slid his hand down to my hip, running his fingertips along the soft skin of the crease where my thigh met my belly, bumping into the base of my dick each time. It almost tickled, but he did it just firmly enough to make it erotic.

"That's pretty much how I feel. I've been thinking about it off and on lately, and when you called this afternoon, it just sort of popped out. The only guy I'd be a little weird about would be Sky. I wouldn't tell you no, but it would bother me." He stopped for a minute, and I could tell he was trying to decide whether to tell me something or not. Finally, he hugged me tighter and continued in a quiet voice.

"Back in June, that night you told me you'd met someone, I could hardly get any words out. I think I said something like 'is he _the_ one,' and you said you weren't sure, that you'd just met him. I was so afraid that I'd waited too long to tell you how I felt, and that I was going to lose you to him." He paused again, and then said really softly, barely breathing it, "Sky scares me."

I had become totally still as he spoke, and his last sentence repeated itself over and over in my head when he finished. Sam had always been the more confident, less emotional, of the two of us, and I'd had no idea that he wasn't completely secure in our partnership. My heart rate had spiked up to double normal, and my stomach was knotted as I turned to face him.

"Sam, I care more for you than I could for ten Skys rolled into one. The history you and I have together, how good we are in bed, the way you always say just what I need to hear when I'm upset, this . . ." I gestured to the two of us snuggled up in bed, ". . . are things I'll never have with anyone else. Sky's a great guy and I love him, but it's you I'm in love with, and who I've chosen to spend my life with."

His eyes roamed my face as I spoke. When I was done, he looked at me for another long beat and then pulled my head to his chest while we clung to each other. It felt sort of like the aftermath of a fight where you're still a little shaky, but you know it's going to be okay. After a few minutes, he reached over and turned the light off, pulling me along with him as he slid down flat in the bed. Instead of pushing me onto my other side like he usually does so that he could curl up behind me, he kept us face to face, holding my hand against his chest in both of his as we fell asleep.

I lay awake for a while, studying his face, barely able to see him in the dim light, but he looked sad to me, and I kissed my fingertip before gently touching it to his mouth. He didn't stir, and I rolled over, pushing back against him, needing the comfort of his body around mine.

Zane had Cher tuned up within an inch of her life for the Cutting Horse Nationals in Amarillo, which began in early February with the final round on a Sunday. He pulled out of the yard eight days before that with Cas riding shotgun, which surprised me. Despite the fact that they played as a couple, I knew Chris was a little possessive of Zane, and sending him off for several days with Cas seemed unlike him.

I gave Chris a call the next day and got right to the point. "Hey, it's Dean. Everything okay with you and Zane?"

"Well, 'hello' to you, too." There was a pause. "Yeah, we're okay. Zane's got the seven year itch at five years, I guess. He's infatuated with Cas right now, so I'm giving him a little space."

"Jesus, what the hell's going on? You two are my model couple."

"Tell me about it. Cas came over a couple weeks ago for the first time in probably two years, and Zane had dinner with him another time or two after that. Then Zane says he needs help driving to Amarillo, that he wants to do it in one day, but it's 10 or 12 hours, and he needs another driver, and Cas's available. I called him on it, and he admitted that Cas got to him when he was over that night. I always thought if we played together, this wouldn't happen." He stopped for a minute, and I could hear him sigh.

"We're gonna be fine, Dean. Zane loves me I know that but we've been together five years, and he was only 21 when we met, so I think he just needs to kick up his heels a little. I guess I'm glad it's Cas, because I know he won't run off with Zane, even if that little son-of-a-bitch wants him to."

I hung up and just sat there at my desk for a while, the sounds of the busy stable muted by the solid stone walls. Chris and Zane had been as solid a couple as I'd ever known until now, and it shook me a little. If it could happen to them, it could happen to Sam and me, something I really couldn't even begin to contemplate.

I dialed Stiva's and Sam answered on the second ring.

"Good afternoon, Stiva's."

"Hey, Stud, wanna party?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." His voice was very professional.

"Customers nearby?"

"Yes, but we can arrange for a private party. What did you have in mind?"

"Your thick, dripping cock buried to the balls in my hot, pulsing ass?" I never talked like that in real life and I could tell he was surprised. There was a pause as he swallowed and cleared his throat.

"I think we can arrange something along those lines. Stiva's aims to please."

"And your aim has always been excellent." I started to laugh at that point and gave up the charade. "Just called to tell you that I love you."

"I know you do. Thank you for thinking of Stiva's, and rest assured that I will take _personal_ responsibility for the success of your special evening."

I hung up with a grin on my face and felt a whole lot better.

When Sam got home that night, he came straight to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and backed me firmly up against the kitchen island. He pinned me there with his hips, gripped my face in hard hands, then dropped his mouth to mine and kissed the daylights out of me.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed. "I've wanted to do that since you called. You know who was standing there? The entire Ladies Garden Club watching me with nods of approval as I assured you I could take care of your party. Thank Christ I was wearing a jacket to hide my thick, dripping cock."

He kissed me again, a little less forcefully than before, but just as passionately, sliding his hands down my arms until our fingers were entwined.

"Lock your elbows," he said, then bent his knees slightly and lifted me onto the island, where he released my hands and went for my belt. Dinner was late, but Max was out with Eddie, so it didn't matter.

I lined up a pilot to ferry us to Amarillo in style. Jesse and Ben had decided to come along, so they joined Max, Sam, Sky, Chris, and me as we climbed aboard humming 'Amarillo by Morning' as we stowed our bags.

The flight was uneventful, and by lunchtime we were checked into the hotel and on our way to the show grounds to find Zane and Cas. There were several big barns of gorgeous horses, so we wandered for a while, checking out the denim-clad cowboy butts that were everywhere you looked.

We finally ran into Zane in the next to last barn, where he was just putting Cher away after a workout. Chris greeted him with a hug, which Zane returned, but he seemed a little reserved to me. Cas was out sightseeing, so we called him to meet us later for dinner. We hung around for a while and met the people stabled on either side of Cher.

On the left were a man and his wife who were into various horsy pursuits, and had seen Cas and me ride in Florida. The woman laughingly inquired if I had recovered from my 'incident,' and I assured her that everything was fine and in good working order, while Sam smirked at me from behind her. Their names were Jack and Paula Baker, and they lived about two hours from us.

Their cute, blond, teenaged daughter, whose name I didn't catch, was heavily into horses, and was the defending state champion in the 18-and-under amateur-owner jumper division. She had started chatting with Max, and I happened to be watching him at the exact moment he realized she was flirting. He was surprisingly naïve sometimes, especially about girls his own age, with which he had no experience.

He straightened up from leaning against the stall door and took a step back. She stepped with him, and they danced across the barn aisle until she had him up against the opposite stall door. I was trying hard not to smile, but it was tough. I poked Sam, who glanced at them and then watched with interest as the girl traced her finger along the word 'National' on Max's t-shirt, chuckling when he flinched as she coasted across his nipple. That was too much for Max, and he ducked free to come over and wedge himself between Sam and me. Eventually we said goodbye and wandered back through the barns again.

As we were walking toward the parking lot headed for dinner, a deep, gravelly voice from behind us growled, "Howdy Zane."

We all turned to face a guy in his mid-40s, big like Chris. His face was weathered but he looked pretty good. Zane was staring at him in delight.

"Levi? It's been ages. How the hell are ya?" He stepped into Levi's outstretched arms and almost disappeared as Levi wrapped him up tight.

They hugged longer than necessary to just say Hi, and when Levi began to chew on Zane's ear lobe, Chris stepped forward and settled his hand onto the back of Zane's neck.

Levi pulled away, rolled his eyes up to Chris's smiling-but-not-amused face, and said in a stage whisper to Zane, "Who the fuck is that?"

Zane laughed and pulled free, dragging Chris's hand down onto his chest to pull Chris close behind him. "Levi, this is my partner, Chris Morgan. Chris, Levi Lang, an old family friend."

"Partner?" Levi said, raising his eyebrows almost off his forehead. "You went and got hitched?"

Chris and Levi shook hands, then Zane introduced the rest of us. We invited him to dinner. At the restaurant, Chris maneuvered Zane so that I was on one side of him and he was on the other, with Cas and Levi across the table. As we worked on our first round of drinks, Levi and Zane caught up.

Levi had rodeoed with Davis, Zane's daddy, for years, hauling their horses from one dusty fairground to the next, and sleeping in the back of the truck when they were too broke for a cheap motel. They team roped together Davis heading while Levi heeled and they went to the World Finals six times, winning two of those times. Davis' horse, Ticket, was heading horse of the year three times, finally retiring to a well-deserved life at pasture with lifetime earnings of $2.1 million.

They'd parted ways when Levi went home to run his uncle's feed business in Wyoming, but they kept in touch and visited each other once a year or so. Zane had spent a summer with Levi when he was nineteen, and they'd apparently had a pretty good time. Chris listened to all this with a calm expression and a hand firmly planted on Zane's thigh. Levi had recently sold the feed business and hit the road with a hefty bank account and a couple horses. He was here this week competing in the adult amateur division and drumming up clients for his colt starting business.

Max was fascinated with Levi and smiled at all his rough talk and rowdy stories, but Levi seemed oblivious, which was fine with me. I wasn't about to let Max run off with a total stranger for the night, no matter how amusing his stories. When the party moved to the bar next door, Cas offered to take Max out for some non-alcoholic nightlife and they left. Zane watched Cas leave, and Chris watched Zane, while I watched Chris. I felt like the end domino.

It was unsettling to see their relationship struggling a little, and I put a hand on Sam's leg. He turned to look at me with a half smile and lay his hand over mine, pressing my fingers into the meat of his thigh. He kept his eyes on mine for a long time, just gazing steadily at me, and I felt my chest tighten. It was an odd moment, intimate and loving, then the waiter brought our drinks and it was over.

We got back to the hotel around midnight and went to bed. Max's room and ours were on a different floor than everyone else's, so I have no idea who ended up with whom, but I'd be willing to bet that Chris and Zane went home together, alone. I didn't check up on Max, knowing that he was safe with Cas.

We all met for breakfast around nine. Zane had already left for the barn, so Chris sat down next to me with a slight smile that only got wider when I looked more closely at him. "Well?"

"Nothing." He tried to wipe the grin off his face without much success.

"Zane happy to see you?" I ventured.

He chuckled. "Yeah, we had a good night. I guess they talked a lot on the drive here. Cas told him to quit being a jerk, and got his own room. They didn't fuck around after they got here, so Zane was ready to blow the minute I got his jeans off." He sobered up a little. "We're okay, Dean."

We headed back to the show grounds to watch Zane do his cow thing.

Cher was on her game, and Zane rode her to a second overall finish for the day, which he was satisfied with. By the time he got her put away and showered off the dust, it was six, so we found a good restaurant and ate too much. We decided to walk it off, wandering around downtown taking in the nightlife.

Along the way, we ran into the daughter of the couple next to Cher with her posse of boys and girls around Max's age. She introduced herself to me again (her name was Katie) and chatted politely for a few minutes. They seemed like decent kids, and when they invited Max to go with them for the evening, I let him, making sure his cell phone had a full charge, and that he had enough money for a cab, just in case. They were headed for the mall, and I was a little surprised that he wanted to go after his experience with her the day before, but he stuck his hands in his pockets and wandered off with them.

About nine we found a bar that seemed okay. It definitely wasn't a gay bar, but there was enough of a mix that we blended in okay. By the time we'd been there an hour we'd identified a few other homos in the crowd and had quit worrying about the occasional affectionate touch. I'm just a toucher by nature and can't go long without putting a hand on Sam's leg, or patting Cas's arm as I laughed at something he said.

As Sam walked towards the washroom, I saw a guy wearing a big black Stetson stop him for a moment. They spoke briefly, Sam gestured my way, and they both smiled at me. Sam winked as he turned away, and I gripped my drink a little harder. As a couple, we'd never been with a total stranger, and the thought had me half-hard in about three seconds.

We were definitely exploring the boundaries of our relationship as we settled into the security of knowing each other well. So far, I was okay with the direction Sam was taking us. He and I talked easily about sex, about the things we did with each other and with other people, and I never felt pressured by him. Our conversations were always a two-way street, and as long as we were communicating well, I was willing to follow where he led. Didn't somebody once say that the ideal relationship consists of one-third communication and two-thirds fornication?

When Sam came back, he had the Stetson in tow and parked him next to me, squeezing in a chair so that we couldn't help but rub legs under the table. Sam gave me a quick, intent look as DeLaCroix Boudreaux introduced himself to everyone. He was from the bayou in Looozianna, as he pronounced it, and had come to Amarillo for the Quarter horse sale tomorrow night.

He was a big boy, probably 6'3", 235 or so, muscular as hell, and turned out to be a calf roper and a steer wrestler, or bulldogger, as it's sometimes known. At twenty-four years old, he was in the prime of his rodeo career, and looking for a good horse or two to add to his string. He had dark wavy hair and big brown eyes with long lashes. He was fair-skinned with a full lower lip and a deep dimple when he smiled. When he gazed at me from under the brim of that big black hat, I fell in lust.

We drank and swapped stories and even danced a little, keeping it PG-rated so as not to offend the tourists. Del was in the same hotel we were, so he walked back with us when we called it a night around eleven. I had a wet spot on the front of my jeans from my dripping cock, and couldn't wait to get Del naked so I could run my hands over the bulging muscles that strained the fabric of his shirt.

Everyone peeled off to go to their own rooms as the elevator went up, but Del stuck with Sam and me as we said goodnight to Zane and Chris, then Cas and Sky, then Ben and Jesse. When we got to our room Sam removed Del's western shirt snap by pearl snap.

I stepped close and circled my finger lightly around one brown nub, causing him to tighten his jaw and close his eyes briefly before leaning toward me to slide his tongue along the seam of my mouth. My lips parted, and he closed his mouth over mine, kissing me softly at first, then deepening it as I responded. He lifted off his hat as we kissed, setting it carefully on the dresser.

Sam reached for Del's belt and Del broke the kiss as he shrugged out of his shirt, his arm and shoulder muscles flexing deliciously under his smooth, pale skin. Sam turned to me, holding me with his eyes as he tugged my shirt out of my jeans, then over my head, tossing it out of the way. Del had moved around me and was unbuckling my belt from behind, mouthing my neck as he undid my jeans. When he got to the last button, he put both hands on my chest and slowly rubbed his way down my body, breathing softly against my neck. I reached back to wrap both hands around his ass, pulling his dick tight against me and grinding back into him.

Sam had been undressing while he watched us, and now he came to me, dropping to his knees in front of me and nuzzling into the crotch of my jeans. I was so hard by this time that I needed someone to do something with my cock, but as I reached for it, Del pushed my hand away and slid his palm down into my shorts. As his big, callused hand closed around my penis, I shuddered with pleasure and lay my head back against him.

He squeezed me a couple times, and then pulled my erection free as Sam shoved my jeans down my thighs. Del aimed my cock at Sam's mouth and he sucked it in, going clear to the bottom on the first slide as I arched back into Del. Sam blew me for a minute or so, but I pushed him off and pulled him to his feet.

"Fuck, I'll be done in thirty seconds at this rate," I panted, and Del laughed as he toed off his boots and dropped his jeans to the floor. He had a cock to match the rest of him, thick and muscular, reminiscent of Tay's, but a little longer and not quite as fat, with a slight left curve. His nuts swung low as he walked backward toward the bed, pulling me by the arm. Sam came along, since I had his balls in one hand and a nipple in the other.

In my experience, guys the size of Del usually like to top, but it was clear pretty quickly that he wanted to get fucked. He flopped onto the bed on his back, then turned around so that his head hung off the edge. He pulled me over to straddle his face and bent my cock down to his mouth. I leaned forward to brace myself on his chest, feeling the mounds of muscle shift as he reached a hand up to play with my balls.

Sam had climbed onto the bed and shoved Del's knees back, exposing his ass. As Sam began to rim him, Del lost his concentration on my cock and lay there for a minute with his eyes closed in an expression of pure bliss my cock just lying in his open mouth. I knew the feeling. I reached for him, stroking him with a wet hand, and he came back to the living, slurping my dick down his throat and tugging on my balls.

We changed around a little, but eventually Sam pulled Del to the edge of the bed and put him on all fours, lubed up, rolled on a condom and pushed in. Del hung his head and breathed heavily as he got used to Sam's cock in his ass, dropping to his elbows when Sam began to thrust. I watched for a minute, my eyes locked onto the sight of Sam pumping away at this big, beautiful cowboy.

I crawled onto the bed and lay down on my back under Del's face so I could kiss him. Each time Sam drove into him, his cock slapped up against his belly, smacking wetly into the swirls of precum-soaked hair that trailed down from his bellybutton. He kissed pretty good, but the sound his cock made was irresistible, so I slid further under him until we were in a 69 position.

Sam was fucking him steadily, and from where I lay, I had a view of Del's nuts banging back and forth, Sam's cock sliding in and out of Del's ass, and a glimpse of Samt's face each time he withdrew. Sam's eyes were closed, and the look of concentration on his face brought me almost to the edge. Del chose that moment to suck my dick into his hot mouth, so I returned the favor, losing myself in the sounds and sensations.

When Sam's breathing increased to the point where I knew he was close, I crawled out from under Del and stood up on the bed, straddling Del's back to face Sam. I grabbed my slippery cock and started to stroke quickly, wanting to shoot with him, if possible. He leaned into me, pinching my nipple and licking just the tip of my cock as I felt my balls tighten in the familiar prelude to orgasm.

Del had been yanking his own dick, and just as I felt myself pass the point of no return, he let loose a roar and spewed cum all over the place, splattering my feet and lower legs. I gripped Sam's shoulder tightly and unloaded onto Del's ass just as Sam's face contorted with the force of his climax. He was silent except for a soft grunt each time his cock jerked.

He slowly loosened his hold on Del's hips, leaving behind red indentations that I figured Del would still be able to see tomorrow, and withdrew after his cock had softened enough. I was sitting on the bed by this time, holding my nuts, which still ached a little. Del had collapsed face first into the bed, moaning softly, when Sam came back from the bathroom with a few towels. I wiped my cum off Del, admiring the rounded perfection of his butt, until he rolled over and sat up, smiling at us.

Tugging on his still semi-hard dick, he drawled, "Ya'll boys really know how to fuck."

For some reason that struck me funny, and I looked at him and chuckled. He grinned back, the dimple drilling a hole in his cheek, then got up, kissed us both, and started to get dressed. He settled the Stetson back on his head, gave Sam's dick a soft squeeze, and was out the door.

We got cleaned up a little and climbed into bed, careful to remove the sticky bedspread first. After we'd settled into our usual positions, Sam kissed the back of my neck softly, then asked me, "What did you think about all that?"

I thought about the evening. My little shock of realization in the bar that Del might be coming home with us, my excitement and eagerness to get him naked, Sam's face as he fucked Del and said truthfully, "It was hot as hell."

Sam chuckled against my neck. I thought he might want to talk about it more, but he just tugged me closer with an arm around my chest, and I knew we were done for tonight.

Zane was third to go on Saturday, so we ate a quick breakfast and went to the arena in time to see the opening ceremony, which included a drill team of twenty girls on flashy pintos who rode amazingly complicated patterns at a speedy lope. Having made my living going fast on a horse, I had a lot of respect for the time and practice necessary to do what they were doing and make it look easy.

Max had been quiet at breakfast, and as the cowgirls ran out of the arena, I turned to him.

"How was last night?"

He continued to gaze at the empty arena as he spoke. "Interesting. I've never been around normal kids my own age much, just talking and hanging out like that. It was kinda fun." He paused for a moment, and then turned to me. "She kissed me."

"Katie?" I could feel my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline, and quickly forced them back down.

He nodded. "Yeah. After we were at the mall for a while, one of them asked me if you were my brother, cause you didn't look old enough to be my dad. I told them about you and Sam, that you were gay, and then another guy asked if I was queer, too. I told them the truth, and they didn't seem to care much one way or the other. Katie asked me if I'd ever been with a girl, and when I told her no, she asked if she could kiss me." He shrugged one shoulder. "I said yes."

He'd turned back to the arena while he was speaking, and I looked at his profile. He was so mature in many ways and yet so much a kid in others. He'd told me one time when we'd been talking about his past that all of his sexual experiences had been with men, all of them years older than himself. I wondered if he was questioning his sexual orientation, never having had a chance to see if he liked girls or not.

"How did it feel?" I asked him.

He shrugged a little. "Okay. Her mouth was really soft, and she smelled good, but it didn't excite me, if that's what you mean. She didn't kiss nearly as good as you or Cas. Did you ever . . .?"

"Have sex with a woman? No. Are you thinking about trying it?"

He turned back to me with a sexy little smile, and shook his head. "I like boys, Dean," he replied, squeezing my dick discretely to reinforce his words.

I smiled back and hugged him to me for a moment, then they ran the steers into the arena and the event began. Yesterday had been an elimination round, so only ten cowboys were riding today. The first two guys posted good scores, but there was room for Zane to do better if he rode well and Cher was sharp. As he jogged into the packed arena, we hooted and hollered so loudly that he actually spotted us and grinned.

When a cutting horse knows its job, it's really something to watch, and Cher went at it with a single-mindedness that made you shake your head in admiration. She locked onto the steer Zane chose, separating it easily from the little herd huddled in a corner of the cutting pen, then worked it well, dodging back and forth as the steer tried to get back to his buddies. As she changed directions, her front legs were aimed one way and her back legs another, and she was so low to the ground that I was sure Zane's feet would drag in the dirt any minute.

He worked three steers in his first run, scoring well. We met him back in the barn between rounds, and he was pumped. Chris grabbed him in a hard hug, and it made me feel good to watch Zane's eyes shut tightly as Chris held him. We ate a quick lunch before going back to the stands for round two. Zane scored high again, and by the end of the day, he was in second place overall.

Zane was tired, so Chris stayed at the hotel with him when the rest of us trooped off to dinner at a steakhouse Jesse knew of. Although neither of them knew anything about horses, he and Ben seemed to be enjoying themselves, and it was nice to get to know them better. Ben was a funny guy with a dry wit that I hadn't picked up on in the previous couple times I'd been around him, and he kept us chuckling through dinner.

Sky wanted to go dancing again, and Max was hot to go, but at a gay bar this time so that they could really get into it. We asked a likely-looking waiter if there was such a thing in Amarillo. He ran his eyes once around the table, stopping at Sky's blond wonderfulness, then gave us directions to a hot place just a few blocks away. We had a couple hours to kill until the club opened, so we went to the Quarter horse sale, where I pointed out the traits to look for in a good horse.

As we were watching the bidding on a grey two-year-old, I spotted Del ambling along and hollered at him. He climbed up into the stands, sitting down between Sky and Jesse in the row behind me. He had already purchased one horse and was waiting for the next one he liked to come on the block. We watched the action, Del and I commenting about the price each horse went for, until he sat up and pulled his number out of his back pocket.

The horse he'd been waiting for was a big bay colt that was circling at the end of his rope and snorting at the crowd noise. He looked like a handful to me, but Del said he liked 'em feisty, and raised the bid by a hundred bucks. It came down to him and a guy at the other end of the stands somewhere. Del was reaching his limit, and when the other guy yelled out an amount higher than the next bid, Del slumped in disappointment.

"Damn. I really wanted that colt," he said, looking at the prancing horse with regret.

Without even thinking about it, I grabbed the number from his hand and jumped to my feet, shouting out a thousand dollar increase. The auctioneer stopped his gavel just short of selling the colt to the other guy and looked at him to see what he'd do. He nodded to the auctioneer, and we were off, going back and forth while the crowd went nuts, and the colt kicked at a handler who got too close.

Del kept grabbing at my arm trying to get me to sit down and shut up, but by now I was determined to own that damn horse, nodding grimly every time the auctioneer looked my way. I ended up paying more than the colt was currently worth, but young horses are all about potential, and this one looked to me like he had a lot of promise. Del watched glumly as I wrote out a check at the cashier's stand.

"What're you gonna do with him? You don't even like him."

"I like him fine. I just don't want to start him. That's your job."

Del blinked at me, and I set him down at a nearby table.

"I'm gonna lease him to you for a dollar a year. You get him broke, show him, whatever and then bring him to my place in a year, cause I have a couple mares I want to breed to him."

Del was grinning from ear to ear, and I just wanted to stick my tongue in that dimple, but I settled for shaking his hand. He went off to collect the colt, and we caught a cab to the dance club.

The club was loud and crowded, and the dance floor was jammed with sweaty bodies in various states of undress. I closed my eyes for a minute, pondering my responsibility to Max, but Sam pointed out that a dirty dance in a public bar was a long way from blow jobs in dark alleys, so I took a big slug of my drink and kept my mouth shut.

Max was a great dancer. He moved well and he was fun to watch. He tugged his shirt over his head and jammed it into the back of his jeans as he moved closer to some hot looking guy in spandex pants. Jesus. Eventually we all ended up out there, shirtless and sweaty and I had a blast. This weekend was so far removed from my nine-to-five existence, that I felt like a different person.

I saw Sky grinding away with someone, and recognized the hunky waiter who'd given us directions. He grinned at me as he leaned in to chew on Sky's neck. Sam moved pretty well too, shimmying up behind me with his dick in my ass and a hand down the front of my jeans.

After a couple hours everyone was hot, tired, and ready to go, so we cabbed back to the hotel, showered, and fell into bed. Max slept with us that night, snuggling up to me for a kiss as Sam turned out the light and climbed in behind me. Max lay on his back with my arm holding him close and Sam nuzzled into me. I thanked whatever gods may be for the choice I'd made back in June that had brought Sam and me together permanently.

I lay awake for a while longer, Sam's chest moving against my back and Max's rising and falling under my arm. I don't think there is a safer feeling in the world than falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves you. I pulled Sam's arm a little more snugly around my body, pushed my face into Max's neck, and let myself drift off, secure in the knowledge that they'd both be there if I woke up in the night.

The contestants rode in reverse order in the final round which meant Zane went next to last, so we didn't need to hurry in the morning, which was a damn good thing cause I was slightly hung over and exhausted.

We met up with Levi as we found our seats and he sat with us for a while. He was still the irrepressible character we'd met the first day, and we had a good time as he pointed out little insider things about the contestants, their horses, and the event in general. He'd rodeoed most of his life and knew something about everything and everyone.

Five days of competition was taking its toll on man and horse and most guys didn't do as well as they had the first couple days, letting steers by or having trouble getting them cut from the herd in the first place. By the time Zane came into the arena, it was down to him and the guy who would ride last.

Zane's first steer was a dud, so he let it go early and picked another who was tough to cut, but worked really well, giving Cher a serious workout. He had time for a quick run at another steer before the buzzer sounded, and we all crossed our fingers that it had been enough.

The final rider was a guy from back east somewhere. Levi spat into the aisle in disgust.

"Oughta have to be from west of the Rockies, at least," he growled.

Apparently, they knew how to cut cattle just fine east of the Rockies because this guy rode his chestnut stallion well. He had us worried until his horse zigged when he should have zagged, the steer ducked around, and it was over. He knew it, backing his horse off, and tipping his hat to Zane when the announcer called him into the arena to accept the big trophy and an even bigger check.

We were going crazy in the stands, whooping and hollering as Zane grinned like a fool, patting Cher while he circled the arena in a victory lap. Winning the cutting horse World Finals was no small feat, so Zane had every right to be proud. Chris pushed his way down to the front row, and Zane stopped for a hug, almost pulling Chris over the rail when Cher wanted to keep going.

We watched the trophy presentation, and then hurried to the barn to celebrate, swarming over Zane and Cher with kisses and carrots. Cas and I unsaddled Cher, got her washed off, blanketed, and fed, then joined the party. Katie and her folks were excited to be stabled next to the World Champion and helped us celebrate, as did Del and Levi.

Katie gave Max a hug and kiss on the cheek, which he returned a little shyly, but willingly enough. It gave me an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach to see him with a girl, his hands on her small back as he bent to her. He'd said she was going to tell her parents we were all gay, but if she had, they were cool with it because I detected no difference in their behavior toward us.

The whole crowd of us went out to dinner. When the owner of the restaurant discovered he had the newly-crowned World Cutting Horse Champion, the AGA Grand Prix winner, and the runner-up guzzling down beers in his bar while waiting for a table, he opened the private back room for us, and said everything was on the house as long as he could send in a photographer. We didn't care, so the entire event was nicely documented on film, including the part where Zane made a speech while standing on the table, his dusty boots planted firmly around a platter of nachos. That photo didn't make it in to the next day's newspaper, but a couple others did.

We quieted down a little when the food arrived. Levi disappeared for a few minutes and came back toting a guitar he'd borrowed from the band that was going to play later. He pulled a chair back a bit from the table and proceeded to treat us to one lovely western melody after another. His voice was sort of Willie Nelson-ish, gravelly like his speaking voice, but strong and true. We all fell silent as he sang a cowboy favorite.

_Cowboys are special, with their own brand of misery from being alone too long.  
You could die from the cold in the arms of a nightmare, knowing well that your best days are gone.  
Picking up hookers instead of my pen, I let the words of my youth fade away.  
Old worn out saddles and old worn out memories, but no one and no place to stay.  
My heroes have always been cowboys, and they still are, it seems.  
Sadly in search of and one step in back of themselves and their slow-moving dreams._

It was a great time, and we swapped phone numbers with Jack and Paula at the end of the night. They were thinking of relocating, and promised to visit Castlewood soon. Katie was dying to see it and wanted to fly home with us, but all the adults vetoed that, and Max looked relieved.

As we walked back to the hotel, Sky and Del fell back a little, and I figured they were both in for a treat when they got each other in bed. I knew Cas and Sky were sharing a room and wondered what Cas was going to do with himself, but that question was answered when Cas stayed in the elevator with us as his floor came and went. He smiled a silent goodnight at me, and followed Max into his room. I stared at the closed door until Sam grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into our room.

Thank God the walls were fairly soundproof because I damn sure didn't want to lay there listening to Cas and Max whooping it up next door. Sam distracted me anyway by stripping me naked and molesting me in the shower, something I always enjoy. All that steamy water splashing down as I add my own splashes is too much fun. Afterward we snuggled up in bed with the TV on low, and talked for a while.

"Aside from the mind-blowing sex, how did you feel about us being with Del?" Sam's voice was low and soft behind my ear as I leaned against him.

"It was fun. Not something I'd want to do often, but as a special occasion type of thing, it was great. It didn't bother me that we didn't know him. I thought it might because I didn't know if I'd be relaxed enough with a stranger to enjoy it, but that wasn't a problem. In fact, it was kind of liberating since I figured I'd never see him again. And it wasn't weird when I saw him the next day at the auction." I stopped and thought for a minute. "So for me anyway, I think it really depends on who it is as to whether or not I'd want to do it again."

Sam was nodding as I spoke. "Yeah, I know what you mean. He'd been eyeing us from the bar for a while before I went to piss, and when I saw him up close, I thought you'd like him. I know you get a kick out of Chris's muscles, but the dimple is what did it for me."

I chuckled. "I loved the dimple, too. I kept wanting to poke my tongue in it."

He wrapped me up close as we drifted off to sleep. It had certainly been a different sort of weekend, but I'd be happy to get back home.

Zane and Chris were late for breakfast, and when they did show up, they sat at a table on the other side of the room and stared into each other's eyes as they nibbled on fruit and muffins.

Sky wandered in with a dreamy look on his face, and when I asked how he'd slept, he replied, "Del."

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"I asked how you slept."

"Oh. I slept well, thanks," he mumbled, and wandered off for orange juice.

Max came in without Cas, who joined us about ten minutes later, kissing the top of Max's head as he went by to the buffet. He sat next to Max, and they ate off each other's plates like newlyweds. I stared at them for a minute, but they were oblivious.

I slid my eyes to Sam, but he refused to meet my gaze and got up for more toast. I gave up, sighed heavily, and finished my breakfast. Max's relationship with Cas was a good thing. It was just vaguely uncomfortable to watch it develop right in front of my face. And I had begun to wonder whether Cas was as interested as I'd first thought, considering his fling with Zane and Chris. Max hadn't discussed any of it with me, but he didn't seem unhappy with the current state of things, so I left it alone for the time being.

Our flight home was quiet. Chris had opted to share the drive with Zane, so Cas was on the jet with us, sacked out on the couch with Max under his arm. Sam was chatting with Jesse and Ben, so I joined Sky in the seats just behind the cockpit, leaned mine back all the way, and promptly fell asleep.

Gabriel met us at the airport with the big Castlewood van, and ferried us all home. Jesse had parked his truck at my place, and he and Ben left for home as soon as we got there. Gabriel and Sky came in for a few minutes because I wanted a brief run down of what had happened around the barn while I was gone. Gabriel's list went like this:

* Kahn kicked a bucket clear across the yard when he was startled by Mo's heehaw, narrowly missing Minx, but ruining a wheelbarrow it hit.

* Bella broke her wrist falling out of the horse van when the sun got in her eyes and she thought she had one more step to go. She'd be in a cast for three weeks, but was working one-handed.

I stopped him at this point, asking if anything good had happened, or if this was going to be a disaster recitation. He laughed, and said he was saving the good stuff for last. As he talked, Sky watched him, running his eyes over Gabriel's face, and grinning when he laughed.

* A check for $17,254 had finally arrived from a delinquent client who had departed in a huff a few months ago. I had turned him over to Jesse. It wasn't really his line of work, but he had apparently convinced the guy to pay.

* The earth moving at the new show grounds was finished, and work had begun on the buildings. It looked like we'd be ready for an April debut.

* Gabriel had noticed that Sherry the donkey was getting fat, so he had Faith check her over before he cut her feed. Sherry and Mo had apparently been up to no good before we got them, and she was due to foal in about two months. Great more donkeys. I made a mental note to tell Faith to castrate both Mo and Curly pronto.

After Gabriel and Sky left, I wandered around the house for a while. It felt great to be home, but it was so quiet after the non-stop activity of the past five days that I didn't know what to do with myself. Max went off to his room to download all the pictures he'd taken, and Sam ran over to the restaurant to check up on things. I told him to bring home dinner, and then went into the den and fell asleep on the couch.

It was a peaceful evening, something we all needed if we were going to be even remotely productive tomorrow. Sam came home with an assortment of pastas and a big salad, which we ate in front of the TV in the den while watching the slide show that Max had put together from his photos. I hadn't realized how many he'd taken as shot after shot rolled across the screen.

The one of Katie hugging Cher was beautiful. Her arms were around Cher's neck with Cher's big old head draped over her shoulder, eyes closed, lower lip drooping the picture of equine contentment. They were standing in shaft of sunlight in the barn, dust motes forever frozen in a faint haze around them. Max had given the photo a sepia wash so that all the colors were dulled, and you focused instead on the girl and the horse.

Sam poked me with his foot at the one of me staring at Del with a rapt expression on my face and my lips parted. I looked like an infatuated teenager, and it made me blush even as it chubbed up my dick a little, thinking back to what had followed that meeting.

Zane hugging his trophy while Chris hugged him was wonderful. Zane was looking at the camera, wrinkles fanning out from the corners of his eyes as he grinned his delight. Chris's forehead was pressed into the curve of Zane's neck, and you could just see the corner of his smile because the big mound of his shoulder blocked the rest of the view. Max said he was going to print a large one to have framed for them.

Max caught Levi with his head thrown back in a big laugh, and it made you chuckle just to look at him. Levi was an interesting guy, and I'd grown fond of him as the weekend had gone on. He'd promised to visit the next time he had an event nearby. He wanted to see my 'sissy horse farm'. I'd put him on Kahn over a six-foot fence and show him 'sissy.'

The one Max took of Cher in full tilt boogie on a steer gave you a real feel for the action of the cutting pen, and I requested one of those for my office at Castlewood. Her ears were pinned flat along her stretched-out neck, Zane's hat was yanked tight down on his head and the steer had just kicked up a fountain of dirt clods that were caught in mid-air.

A few days after the World Finals, Chloe and I were in my office discussing the Foundation and whether or not she would campaign a horse on the Gran Prix circuit next season, when Cas walked in.

After greeting us, he got to the point. "I'm not going to compete next year." That certainly got our attention. "I was thinking with the way you're expanding everything around here, and with the GP title under my belt, I'd like to start a high level training center." He paused before making his real pitch. "Considering the set-up you're working toward, I'd like to do it here at Castlewood. What do you think?"

"Ya know, you'd be fuckin' aces at it!" Chloe exclaimed.

Her language always gave me a chuckle. "I like the idea, Cas, and I agree with Chloe it'd be a good business addition to the farm too." I was all for it. Having Cas around was a pleasure, and I knew Max would miss him terribly if he was gone competing for months at a time.

"Until I've got a few clients on board, I'll work with those two young horses I bought. They show a lot of promise and I think they could become good competition stock."

"How about using Kahn as a school horse? You know how to handle him as well as I do, and he sure would impress potential clients. I'll lease him to you."

"Hey, if those two horses turn out anywhere near as good as Kahn, I'd be interested in ownin' them," Chloe offered.

That brought a smile to Cas's face and our deal was sealed.

Cas continued to come by the house for dinner a couple times a week, and took Max out occasionally, but I couldn't see a whole lot of progress in their relationship since Amarillo. Max also went out with Sam's cousin Eddie now and then. I wasn't sure if he was sleeping with them, but he seemed happy enough so I tried not to think about it.

A few days after that, Gabriel pulled into the yard with the back of his truck full of furniture and garbage bags. He was moving slowly as he parked and got out, stretching his arms over his head before looking around. He came straight over to me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

As we walked to my office, I noticed he was grimy and looked exhausted. "What the hell happened?"

"My apartment building burned down early this morning. It started about 2am, and I had thirty minutes to get stuff out before it got too hot. I got most of my clothes and personal stuff, and a few pieces of furniture." He heaved a big sigh. "Just when I was getting back on my fuckin' feet."

I looked him over, taking in the sandy hair raked back from his forehead with a sweaty hand, and the dark hazel eyes, now smudged with fatigue. He'd been a model employee, taking on more than his share of the load, and showing a real aptitude for working with the Foundation horses (and donkeys) that Sky kept bringing home. He looked really depressed, standing there with his hands on his hips, staring dejectedly at the floor.

"Stay here a sec." I walked outside to dial Sky's cell. "Hey. Whaddaya think about a roommate?"

"Who?"

"Gabriel. His apartment building caught fire. He's upset and tired, and needs a place to call home for a while. You guys seem like you get along okay around here."

There was silence for a moment. "Sure, there's plenty of room and I'd enjoy the company."

I walked back inside. "You know the house west of here, out by the road where Sky's living now?" He nodded. "Head on over there and get settled in. Take a shower and a nap, and come back after lunch."

He stared at the floor before glancing up at me. "How long can I stay there?"

"Long as you need to. If it works out, you can stay permanently. It'd be handy to have you close by."

"What's the rent?"

"No rent, but you're on call 24/7 with every other weekend off. That's not as bad as it sounds since James and Ernesto are here most of the time."

He looked at me for a long moment, his eyes roaming over my face. I let him look, meeting his gaze calmly until he finally spoke. "Why you doin' this?"

I shrugged. "Why not? You're a decent guy, and you're doing real well here. The fire wasn't your fault, and it looks to me like you could use a break."

He absorbed all that, looked back down at the floor for a moment, then walked over and surprised me with a big hug. It took me a split second, but I hugged him back, giving him an extra squeeze before letting him go. I took a key off the rack by the door, handed it to him, and he left without another word. I watched him walk to his truck, pleased to see that his shoulders had squared up a little and his step wasn't dragging as badly as when he'd arrived.

I was riding Kahn in the arena around 2pm when he came in on Cooper. I gave him a smile and a wink when he tipped his chin at me. He rode pretty well, moving easily with the horse, never asking too much, just bringing him along. Cooper had stayed sound so far, no sign of a limp from his bowed tendon, and we were working him a couple hours a day on the flat, either in the arena or out on trail. Once we got him back in condition, we'd see if he could still jump well enough to be a school horse, or maybe a junior hunter for one of the owners' kids.

About a week later, Sky found me in the tack room and came in, closing the door so we could have some privacy. He looked pretty serious, so I sat down to hear what he had to say.

"What can you tell me about Gabriel?"

"He's a great employee, good with both horses and people."

"I mean personally. What was he in prison for?"

I looked at Sky more closely, recognizing his expression. "Something happening between you two?"

"Not yet, but maybe. Before I get something going, I wanted to make sure you don't have a problem with it since we're both working for you now."

"I'd be out of business if I had a rule against employee relationships. We've already got James and Ernesto, and Bella and Faith, and probably a couple stable boys I don't know about. You sure he's gay?"

"Yeah, pretty sure. We talked about it a little when he came to help me with the donkeys, and he's friendly at the house. Not grabbing me, but not backing off when we get close in the kitchen or something. And he gives great shoulder rubs."

Sky walked over and looked out the window, fiddling with the latch as he spoke. I watched him and hoped that it worked out however Sky wanted it to.

"Good luck. Let me know how it goes."

"I'll do that. Thanks."

Max's preliminary sketches for Chloe had so far resulted in a charcoal portrait of the dogs playing in the barn aisle, tugging on either end of a rope. She was thrilled with it, and when she showed it off to her horsey pals, Max got three more calls with offers of work. He was very organized about it, keeping his contacts in a small leather notebook. Chloe paid him $200 for the charcoal of the dogs which I thought was fair since it wasn't even a piece she'd asked for, just something she saw in his sketch book and had to have.

He bought some larger paper and an easel, and got ready to do some real work. He'd become very fond of David, his artistic mentor, and brought him and Bonnie home for dinner most Wednesdays. We learned that David's partner had died several years before from a heart condition and that they'd been together nineteen years. He seemed content with his dog and his cabin in the woods, but more than once, I caught him watching Sam and me with a wistful smile.

One evening David was helping me clean up after dinner, humming along with the Vince Gill CD Max had put on the stereo. Every now and then, he'd sing a line or two in a soft, clear voice. I glanced at him a few times, but he was drying dishes and tapping his foot, lost in his own thoughts.

When the song was over, I patted him on the back as I walked by to the fridge. "Nice voice."

He smiled a little and shook his head. "Sorry. You should've kicked me or something."

"No, I'm serious."

He chuckled. "Well, thanks. Bonnie doesn't howl at me, at least. I play music almost all the time at home and sing along a lot."

Bonnie looked up when he mentioned her name, her tail thumping softly on the tile. When he leaned down to give her a scratch, she closed her eyes blissfully and the tail thumps shifted into second gear. Learning more about him had made me wonder what my life would be like if Sam died before me. David gave me hope that I could carry on and have a decent existence without a partner. Lonely, maybe, but still good. He glanced up at me and must have seen something in my face.

"Dean, I appreciate the dinner invitations, and I just wanted to say that you and Sam did a really good thing with Max."

I stepped closer to him and looked into his face for a moment before putting my arms around him. He hugged me loosely at first, then more intensely for a few seconds, and I wondered when he'd last been held by another man. Too long, I'd bet.

By early March, Max had completed his portrait of Chloe with her dogs, and showed it to me before driving it to her house. In it, she was sitting in the grass laughing, leaning back on her hands with one dog in her lap and the other on his back next to her leg. He'd done it in pastels, which lent it a dreamy quality, and it was simply lovely. It captured Chloe's personality and I knew she was going to flip when she saw it.

I invited myself along, enjoying the drive out to her place at the north edge of the county. She'd built a sprawling ranch house that managed to be comfortable despite the ridiculous amount of money she'd spent on it. She answered the door in faded jeans, a man's white shirt, and bare feet, hugging Max and me warmly. We went to her library, a dark masculine room that suited her no-nonsense approach to life, where she flopped down on a couch and waved us into chairs.

Max put the portrait in a chair opposite Chloe, and nervously unveiled it. Having seen it already, I watched Chloe's face as it went from a smile of anticipation to a stunned realization of what Max had created for her. One hand rose slowly to lie against her chest, and her mouth fell open slightly as she rose to come forward for a closer look.

"I cannot fucking believe how perfect this is. It's exactly what I wanted without even knowing it. It looks like how I feel alive and happy and beautiful."

Max turned eight shades of red when she grabbed his face in both hands and planted a big wet kiss on his mouth. It seemed to be his year for getting kissed by women. She kissed me, too, just for the hell of it I guess, since I had nothing to do with the portrait, and then went back to admire it. After she had inspected it carefully, she pulled her checkbook out of her purse and looked at Max.

"What do I owe you?"

Max turned to me with a 'oh, fuck' look on his face, so I spoke up.

"Why don't you pay him what you feel it's worth to you, since he doesn't have any past sales on which to base a fair price."

She tilted her head to the side and chewed on her bottom lip as she eyed Matt for a moment, then began to write. She ripped the check off with a flourish and held it out to him. He shoved it into his pocket without a glance, thanked her, and we made our exit.

We were back in our own driveway before Max pulled the check out and unfolded it. He made a choking sound, and mutely handed it to me. She'd paid a thousand dollars for an 11x17 pastel chalk drawing by an unknown, eighteen-year-old artist. I smiled at him.

"Not bad."

He still couldn't speak, so I just handed him back the check and went in the house. He trailed in a while later with a thoughtful look on his face. At dinner, he shoved his spaghetti around on his plate. I finally took it away from him and replaced it with a salad and a roll, which he proceeded to tear into little bits.

"Something on your mind, Max?"

He jumped and glanced at me, then looked away across the kitchen. "Do you think I could be a real artist? I mean, make a living at it?"

"Do you think you'd like to do that?"

"Yeah. It's the one thing I've always loved to do. I get sort of lost in it, you know? Like the world could end, and I wouldn't care as long as I could keep drawing. I love it," he stated again.

"Well, you're very talented, and it wouldn't surprise me if you could make it a career, especially with customers like Chloe. Have you contacted the other people who called you? Her friends?"

He nodded. "I told them I needed to get this first one finished, and then I'd be in touch."

"Why don't you do a couple more, and see how it goes. You didn't feel pressured drawing what someone else requested instead of whatever you wanted?"

"No, I actually liked that aspect of it knowing that what I was doing would please someone."

Over the next couple of days, he visited two of Chloe's society pals, and booked jobs with them. One wanted a picture of her daughter on her pony, and the other asked for 'just a nice horse picture,' and didn't really care exactly what it looked like. Max worked on them during daylight hours, and studied in the evenings, pounding the books so that he could take the GED exams as soon as possible.

Adam's birthday was March 3rd. He'd called me a couple times since our aborted dinner in January and we'd had lunch once or twice, but something was different between us and I began to realize that our earlier relationship was over. My childhood pal and teenage lover had become a bit of a stranger. He hugged me when we met for lunch, but I felt the distance in him. I made a few attempts to get him to talk about it, but he kept the conversation light and I finally gave up. When we said goodbye I kissed him, saying, "You know I'll always love you, right?"

He looked at me then, smiling a little. "I love you, too, Dean. I don't know what's the matter with me lately. I just feel like I need to get away from here and do something different."

I nodded slowly, although I didn't really understand what he was looking for. I made him promise to keep in touch, and we went our separate ways. It bothered me that he wouldn't confide in me, but I realized there wasn't much I could do about it. Adam was an adult with a life of his own, in which I apparently no longer played much of a part.

That saddened me, and by the time I got home that night I was depressed and moping. Sam let me wallow in it for a while, then took me up to the shower and pried the story out of me while he washed my back.

He was silent for a few minutes after I finished. "It's not gonna happen," he said to my left hip as he squatted to scrub my leg.

I looked down to see him staring up at me. "What's not gonna happen?"

"Nothing like that's gonna happen to you and me. It's not even a possibility. For that to happen, one person has to give up on the relationship, and that's just not gonna happen, is it?" he asked me with an intent look.

I shook my head 'no' as he hugged me to him and turned the water off. We stood there in the steamy shower stall, silent now except for our breathing and the drip-drip-drip of water off our bodies. Sam was right it wasn't going to happen to us.

I decided to kick off the new show facility the third Saturday in April with a gymkhana kind of a play day which consists of timed speed events on horseback. The events involve various obstacles poles to be weaved through, or bottles to be picked up and dropped into a bucket, or golf balls that have to be placed on top of traffic cones. All of this is done on horseback as fast as you can go making it a fun, exciting thing to participate in and to watch. I figured we'd get a big turnout because I was waiving all entry fees so that kids of all economic levels could afford to come and have a fun day.

Max made up a flyer, printed a hundred, and spent a day tacking them up all over town in the feed stores, tack shops, groceries, and pharmacies any place horse people might go. Bella lined up volunteers to handle registration the morning of the event. Ernesto took care of buying or building the necessary equipment. I bit my nails and tormented Sam every night by tossing and turning until he threatened to make me sleep in the den.

I had contracted out the concession stands, not wanting to deal with figuring out all the people and machinery required to turn out hundreds of hot dogs, nachos, and French fries. The food company held a dress rehearsal the last Saturday in March just to make sure everything was working properly. We turned it into a company picnic with everyone's families and friends showing up to pre-run the bathrooms, traffic flow, drinking fountains, pay phones the minutia of details that can ruin even the best event.

Chloe had commented at the Gran Prix that she fucking hated to wait in line to pee, so I'd put in three times the usual number of ladies' restrooms and was pleased to see there was never a line.

We turned the donkeys loose in one of the arenas and let the kids in with them. Both donkeys and kids had a great time romping around. Apparently the donkeys had been taught to give chase or play tag or something similar because when the kids took off running, the donkey cantered after them, tossing their heads and squeaking. When the kids got tired and stopped, the donkeys galumphed off in the other direction, ears and tails flapping as they trotted along with a gaggle of kids on their heels.

The local paper had come out to take some preliminary pictures and got several great shots that ended up on the human interest page of the Sunday edition. The following weekend we were inundated with donkey visitors, prospective boarders, trainers looking to relocate, and I don't remember who else. After chasing the last car off the place Sunday afternoon, I tracked down Sky and handed him a hundred dollar bill. He eyed it, and then looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"It's for those damn donkeys," I told him, trying without success to keep the chuckle out of my voice.

"Bella already paid me," he said, holding the bill out to me.

"Then consider it a bonus," I replied.

He smiled slowly at me as he tucked the hundred into his pocket. "Thanks," he said, leaning forward to kiss me. "You're a good guy, Dean."

I kissed him back hotly, melting into the most talented mouth in Texas, and then sent him home with Gabriel in his ratty Explorer. Sky hadn't said anything further to me about their relationship, but it didn't appear to have progressed much.

The next morning I happened to be outside when they showed up for work and was astonished at the range of bowling alley noises the Explorer churned out as it lurched into the yard. The engine ran for several seconds after Sky turned it off. I realized this was the vehicle he drove on official Foundation business. Not the image I wanted to project.

I met them halfway across the yard and pointed at my car. "Get in, both of you."

They looked at each other, but followed along. We drove silently into town where I parked at a dealership and turned to them, pointing at Gabriel. "You go pick out a truck something big enough to haul the four-horse. I'll call them on the way home about payment, so you'll be able to drive it off the lot."

I looked at Sky. "And you go choose a new SUV."

They were both staring at me and making no attempt to get out of the car. "Do you need an engraved invitation?" I asked with a smile.

"Are you serious?" Sky was beginning to grin.

"Yes! I'm having your Explorer hauled away the minute I get back to the barn, so be sure to come back with something, or you'll be walking home tonight."

Sky knew me well enough by now to know I meant it and scrambled out of the car, tugging Gabriel after him. I watched them walk off to the truck side of the big lot and smiled when Sky grabbed Gabriel in a one armed hug.

A couple hours later, I heard an unfamiliar vehicle and looked up to see a dark blue Tundra rumble into the yard with a beaming Gabriel at the wheel. Sky was right behind him in a silver Land Rover. They looked pleased with themselves, and I gave the new vehicles my approval.

As the second Sunday in April drew close, Sam and I were busy with plans for our commitment ceremony. We went back and forth over hiring someone to sort of officiate. Neither of us was religious, so we thought about having an older man, someone we both respected, direct the proceedings, but in the end we decided to just stand there amidst our friends and families and say some words to each other, then exchange rings.

We were having it catered by Stiva's, so I left all that to Vincent and Sam, and concentrated on fixing up the house and garden. I rented lots of potted plants to fill up the spots in the flower beds where things weren't blooming yet, and hired half of Maria's family to come and clean the day before.

The whole thing had me tied in knots, and by the afternoon of the day before the ceremony, I was driving everyone crazy moving furniture here and there, and trying to decide if the penis ice cube trays from our wine and cheese thing last summer were appropriate. It _was_ a gay wedding, after all. And the thought of a bunch of straight guys sucking on penis ice cubes gave me a hard-on.

Sam came in from supervising the table set-up, watched me for a few moments, and then dragged me out of the kitchen by my wrist, up the stairs and into our bedroom, thumping the door shut with his foot.

"What are you doing?" I yelled at him, yanking my wrist free of his steely grip. "I have a thousand things to do, and you wanna fuck?"

He ignored me as he tugged my shirt over my head, and pushed me back on the bed to do my shoes. I tried to shove him away, but he was determined, so I just flopped back in resignation as he yanked my jeans down not as gently as he could have. When I was naked, he stripped quickly and climbed onto the bed straddling my chest.

As he leaned forward onto his hands to aim his hard dick at my mouth, he muttered, "This oughta shut you up for a while."

When I sulkily refused to suck his cock, he thrust deep enough to gag me a couple times, so I jammed a pillow under my head and began to blow him. Of course, it wasn't long until I was totally into it, and they could have burned the house down around us for all I cared. When I had Sam groaningly hard, I tipped him off me and pushed him face down on the bed. Two could play this game.

Normally I'd wait until he invited me to fuck him, a hold-over from our early days when he was a little funny about it, but right now I was peeved at him and felt like asserting myself. I grabbed the lube, shoved a fingerful into his ass rudely enough to get a grunt from him, then crouched over him and began to stuff my cock into his tight hole.

He was silent as I slid balls-deep on the first push, mushing my nuts up against the mounds of his ass, grinding a little. His hands tightened in the sheets when I began to stroke quickly, using every inch of my cock. I knew he was close from my blow job, and I caught up in a few minutes, breathing hard as I kept up my steady thrusting.

When I couldn't stand the pressure in my balls any longer, I lay down on his back, buried my face in his shoulder, and changed to quick, hard pumps that finished us off within a few strokes of each other. When I was done emptying myself, I realized my fingers were clenched into the meat of his upper arms. I relaxed them, wincing a little, and saw that he would have the bruises of this afternoon on his skin for the next several days. That gave me a primitive sense of male satisfaction, and I smiled humorlessly at him when he rolled over to look at me. He was still tugging on his dick, rolling the head between his thumb and finger as a last dribble of cum oozed from his slit.

He grinned, not the least bit put out by my grumpy expression. "Well, fuck, I guess I need to piss you off more often. That was intense." That finally made me smile for real, and he pulled me down to him. "Relax, Dean. It's all gonna be okay, no matter where they put the fucking furniture."

I sighed deeply as I burrowed into him. "I know. I just want it to be perfect."

He snorted. "Yeah, well, you know that's not gonna happen. I wasn't gonna tell you, but the band cancelled, so we're getting my cousin Lino and his accordion."

As my face changed from disbelief to horror, Sam began to laugh, rolling around on the bed with tears streaming down his face. I pounded on him with a pillow for a few minutes, then got up and locked myself in the bathroom. I sat on the toilet seat lid listening to him and planning ways to get him back sometime when he was least expecting it.

"Dean, let me in." He had gotten himself under control, and was tapping softly at the door.

"Fuck off," I told him sweetly. He chuckled again, and then sobered up.

"Come on, baby. I couldn't resist. You're so cute when you're pissed."

I finally unlocked the door, but turned my back on him and got in the shower. He hopped in behind me and started to soap me like he always does, with firm hands and lots of lather. When I was slumped against the wall, he put his mouth close to my ear.

"You really needed to calm down or somebody was gonna slug you. I was just getting you out of harm's way."

I didn't even rise to the bait. When we were dry and dressed again, I pulled him to me. "Thanks. That _was_ pretty hot, huh?"

"It sure as hell was. I love it when you get all aggressive with me. It doesn't happen very often, so when it does, it always blows me away."

We went back downstairs, and I just let it happen around me. Sam had mellowed me out, and I spent the next hour cutting radishes into roses, tomatoes into tulips, and whatever other goofy things I could think of to do with vegetables, including carving a cock from a great big carrot and arranging it on the platter with two hard boiled eggs for nuts.

Max came by at one point and studied the arrangement for a few minutes before sliding his eyes up to mine. I gave him a serene smile and a kiss on the cheek before he rolled his eyes and walked away. He went out with Sky that evening to dinner and dancing in the city, and didn't come home till late.

He'd gone on a couple abuse calls with Sky, taking his digital camera and sketch book along. One of the pencil drawings he showed me was of a forlorn horse standing in a filthy pen, head hanging low, just one limping step from the dog food factory. That horse came home with them and is munching hay in my barn at this very moment. He'll survive and have a decent life, thanks to Sky's efforts, but Max's drawing personified what the Foundation stood for, and I chose it as our official logo when we had business cards printed for Sky, Faith, and myself. The framed original sits on my desk.

I woke up the next morning to the feel of Sam's hand making slow sweeps from my collarbone to my crotch. Now and then, he'd drop down to cup my balls for a moment, giving them a gentle squeeze. It was very soothing, and I drowsed like that for a while, just enjoying his touch, until he whispered in my ear.

"Wake up, Dean, I wanna talk to you."

Well, that got my attention. He sat up and pulled me around to face him, so that we were sitting cross-legged on the bed with our knees touching. Sam took my hands in his, looking down at them while he got his thoughts together. Dawn was just beginning to lighten the room, so most of his face was in shadow.

"I've been thinking about today. I don't want to get up in front of everyone and tell you how I feel about you." He paused and raised his eyes to me. "It's just too . . . personal, I guess. I want to do it now, here in the privacy of our bedroom just the two of us."

I looked into his green, blue, gold eyes and nodded. He swallowed hard, ran his tongue around his lips, and began to speak to me. His voice was soft in the stillness of our bedroom, steady and strong, so much like him.

"Dean. I promise to love you with all my heart for as long as I live. I promise to respect the ways in which we're different, and cherish the parts of us that are so similar. I promise to support you emotionally when you need me to, and to understand when you need to be alone. I take joy in your body." A smile crossed his face briefly. "I love your gentle, generous heart. I trust you with my soul, Dean, and I love you more than I thought possible."

His hands were warm on mine, and as he finished speaking, the room began to glow with the first pink light of dawn. I had begun to tremble while he was speaking, and he gripped my hands a little more firmly. I'd been thinking for months about what I would say to him on this day, but all my carefully prepared words vanished as I spoke to him from my heart.

"Oh, God, Sam . . ." I took a deep breath. "I promise to accept your love as the incredible gift that it is, and to return it to you ten-fold for as long as I live. I promise to treasure every minute of our life together, good times and bad. I promise to be strong when you need me to be, and to let you comfort me when that's what I need. I take joy in your body," another smile, "and I trust you with my soul. I love you more every day we're together."

When we were finished, we just sat there looking into each other's eyes and it was one of those pure, sweet moments that define a relationship. Exchanging promises sitting naked in our bed, holding hands, gazing at each other as another day lightened our room was more meaningful to me than a hundred actual marriages could have been.

Finally, Sam leaned forward and gave me the softest whisper of a kiss, barely touching me. We stayed there a moment, eyes closed, breathing into each other's mouths as our lips brushed lightly. He slowly deepened the kiss, and then rolled to his knees, pushing me over onto my back. He made love to me more tenderly than he ever had, entering me so slowly that by the time he was fully buried in me, I was shaking with emotion and the sensations his thick cock triggered in me.

He spread his knees around my hips, and scooted up under me a little, so that he was deep inside me, angled up at my prostate. His hands were beneath my back, holding my shoulders from behind, and he kissed me as he rocked his cock inside me. My penis was trapped between our stomachs, and the steady rhythm of this incredible fuck built into an orgasm that drained me, physically and emotionally. When Sam was finished shuddering, he propped himself on his elbows so he could look at me. Still inside me, he tugged open the drawer on his side of the bed and pulled out our ring boxes.

He opened his and held my gaze as he slid a ring onto my finger. It was a little wider than the one he'd given me in the garden, and had a diamond set into the rich gold. "With this ring . . ." he whispered to me.

He handed my box to me, watching as I lifted out the thick band that I'd bought him. The inside diameter was round, but the outside was a square with rounded corners. It was unique, and I'd loved it the minute I saw it. I'd had it engraved with 'S & D forever' on the inside, and it fit him perfectly.

"With this ring . . ." I repeated to him, staring into his eyes, and then we kissed.

That was it, that's all we did, but I can't begin to explain how much closer I felt to Sam when we were finished. We showered and shaved together, like we do practically every morning, but it was different. I caught his eye in the mirror several times, and we touched more often than a normal morning. My chest felt full and my throat felt tight, like I was on the verge of tears, but I was happier than I'd ever been.

We dressed and went down to the kitchen where Max had made our favorite breakfast, blueberry pancakes (_in_ the pancakes, not on top - that's cheating), crispy bacon, and lots of ice cold milk. He glanced at us a few times before coming over to stand between our stools at the island. Draping an arm over each of our shoulders, he leaned in as he pulled us to him.

"You guys did it already, huh?" he said in a conspiratorial whisper although there was no one else in the house.

"How can you tell?" I whispered back, curious if my feelings were written all over my face.

"I dunno. You just look satisfied, and I don't mean in bed. Emotionally, I guess. You both look really content. That, and the rings on your fingers."

Content. I wouldn't have thought of that word to describe what I felt, but it worked.

The party was supposed to get started around 2pm, leaving us several hours to kill. Sam ran over to the restaurant, and I took Xia for a canter through the neighborhood. The second ring felt unfamiliar on my finger as I held the reins, and I glanced at it often, smiling every time. I was a married man, more or less, and it felt wonderful.

If someone had asked me, I would have said that my relationship with Sam was about as good as it could get, but our exchange of promises and rings this morning had imbued it with a depth and substance it hadn't had before. I thought about that as I rode, wondering if straight couples felt this sense of completion after a traditional wedding. I had to assume they did, and it angered me that such a fulfilling rite was still not available to same-sex couples. It made me ashamed that I'd paid so little attention to the issue until confronted with it in my own life. I had money to spare, and decided to support more actively whichever politicians were on our side.

When I got back from riding, I met up with Sam in our room where he was already in the shower again. I stepped in just as he had his head under the water rinsing his hair and startled him when I slid my hands up his back.

"Who'd you think it was?" I laughed at him when he swore at me for sneaking up on him.

"I don't know," he said, patting a hand over his heart. "I guess I'm a little nervous."

"Why, honey? We already did the deed. Now we're just gonna eat and drink with our friends. Just pretend it's a regular old party."

He laid his head on my shoulder, and looped his arms around my waist. "Yeah, I guess."

We stood there for a few minutes, lost in thought. I ran a hand slowly up to cup the back of his head, laying my face against his as I spoke.

"This morning was perfect. Thank you for thinking to do it like that. I love you so much."

I felt his cheek move against mine as he smiled. "I know you do, Dean." He sighed. "I'm glad you were okay with it. I wasn't sure how set you were on standing up in front of everyone." He pulled back to look at me, his eyes dark and his face serious. "I meant every word I said, Dean. You're more precious to me than you'll ever know."

I stared at him as a shiver moved through me. He pulled me close and turned so that I was under the warm water, keeping me there until I quit shaking. I'm not sure what it was, but that moment in the shower was as powerful as the earlier one in our bed. Sam felt it too, and we dressed silently, putting on the dark suits we'd decided to start the day in. We'd told all the guests that it was casual dress, so we were going to stand out in the crowd.

I finished straightening my tie and looked up to see Sam waiting by the door, smiling slightly. He held out his hand to me and we walked down the stairs, along the hall, and into the kitchen. Maria saw us first and gasped in surprise, causing Max and Cas to look up. Max reached for his camera as we walked toward him, snapping away while Cas and Maria hugged us gingerly, careful not to rumple our clothing.

When Sam went with Max for some photos in the garden, Cas touched a hand to my cheek. "Oh, Dean, I'm so happy for you. Jealous, but happy."

He looked at me for a long moment before pulling me in for another hug, heedless of my suit this time. I held on to him tightly, full of feelings I couldn't sort out. I pressed my lips to his neck and began to kiss him, ending at his mouth in a deep kiss that took a minute to wind down. Cas turned his head to my shoulder, breathing raggedly. "I love you. I never told you, but you've always been a wonderful friend to me, and I love you."

"Remember I saw him first." Samt spoke from behind me, leaning over my shoulder to kiss Cas lightly. "I'll be good to him, I promise, and I might even share him with you now and then."

Cas and I laughed a little shakily, and we all got a drink and tried to lighten up. If I did this with every friend I had, it was going to be a long afternoon. Max had captured it all on film, and presented me with a beautiful series of black and white photos in a long frame a few days after the party. It hangs over my bedside table and I look at it every day.

The day went well. About a hundred people showed up according to Max, who played photographer. Shortly after everyone arrived, Sam motioned for me to join him on top of the steps into the house where we could see everyone.

Maria turned off the music and gradually the crowd quieted down when they realized the serious part of the day was about to get underway. Sam put his right arm over my shoulders and pulled me close as he took my left hand in his and held it over his heart as he began to speak. He thanked everyone for coming to enjoy this day with us, but said that there had been a change in plans and there would be no ceremony. We held up our hands and he simply stated that we had decided to exchange vows privately. There was a moment of silence, and then everyone began talking at once and surging forward to congratulate us.

We drank and nibbled for a few hours, visiting with everyone until Vincent announced that dinner was ready. We'd left seating unassigned and it was fun to watch the various combinations of guests change as people got up for more food and sat back down somewhere else. At one point I spotted my mother sitting with Jesse, Ben, Chris's dad, Chloe, and Gabriel.

As I stood there pondering what possible subject could have such a disparate group of people chatting so animatedly together, Sam came up behind me and slid his hand between my legs. I was wearing boxers with my suit pants, and his fingers closed gently around my dangling balls. I clamped my mouth shut over a shriek of surprise, and tried to look nonchalant as Sam massaged my nuts and murmured in my ear.

"Mmm, nice and loose. I bet they'd taste really good in a mouthful of champagne. Can you feel the bubbles bursting over your skin?" He flattened his hand and flexed his fingers up and down, weighing my sack. "Have I ever told you how much I love your balls? No? Well, I do. Almost as much as I love your-"

He was interrupted by Max, snapping a picture from two feet away. When I saw it the next day, I had to laugh. My eyes are glassy, my mouth is hanging open slightly, and I look like I've got an IQ roughly equivalent to my shoe size. Sam claims that's how I always look when he's making love to me, but I don't believe him. He moved off to talk to someone, but I stayed where I was until my cock had subsided to a point where I could walk normally.

People congratulated us all afternoon. I think I was hugged and kissed by more people that day than any other of my life. Tay caught up with me in the pantry where I was taking a breather from the crowd and nursing my fourth (fifth?) (eighth?) glass of champagne. He stepped in and closed the door, glancing at me a little shyly. He was wearing tan chinos with a pale blue polo that hugged his muscled chest and arms, and I felt my dick twitch at the sight of him.

"So, you're, like, married, huh?" he said, walking over to me.

"Close as we can get in the fine state of Texas, yup," I agreed, nodding carefully.

"Congratulations. Can I, uh, kiss the bride, or whatever the fuck you are?"

He was looking right at me, and my mind flashed back to the day in my office when I'd given him the best blow job of his life and snuck a kiss in when he wasn't looking. A kiss he had returned for a brief, exciting moment.

"Sure thing," I told him enthusiastically if a little drunkenly, setting my champagne aside.

I was sitting up on a counter and he stepped between my legs, settling his hands onto my thighs. I gripped his shoulders as he came toward me, angling his head as we approached zero separation. He'd obviously given this some thought because his mouth was open slightly when we met, and he deepened the kiss fairly quickly, using his tongue to gently probe mine.

My cock went on full alert, and I tightened my hold on his arms as I lost myself in his mouth. It was a wonderful kiss, a little tentative, but wet and provocative. I couldn't help myself. I slid one hand to the front of his pants, wrapping my fingers around that incredible dick of his, thick and hard now with arousal. It lurched in my grip, and his hands tightened convulsively on my legs as his respiration increased.

After a few moments Tay broke the kiss, eyes closed as he breathed quickly. I massaged his cock, watching his jaw muscles clench and loosen in synch with my hand. Finally, he shuddered slightly and stepped back, breaking my hold.

"Fuck," he muttered. "I wish you hadn't done that." His words said one thing, but his shaky voice and his iron dick and the heavy look in his eyes were telling me something entirely different.

I recovered my voice enough to ask, "Then why are you here?"

"I wanted to see if it had been my imagination or what that day."

"And?"

He managed a throaty chuckle as he shoved a hand down his pants to rearrange his dick. "It wasn't my imagination. You kiss pretty damn good."

"You should kiss Sky," I told him, and laughed when he made a face.

"I'll pass. Anyway, thanks, and I hope you two have a great life together. Never thought you'd get married before I did, huh?"

"Yeah, funny how things work out sometimes," I replied, willing my bouncing cock to subside. Between Sam earlier, and now Tay, my poor dick needed some relief.

"Well, thanks again." He backed out through the pantry door, giving me a wink as he disappeared from sight. I dropped my face into my hands as the champagne swirled around in my head. I truly had no fucking clue any more. Was Tay gay? Was Gabriel gay? Did Max love Cas? What the hell was Adam up to? Were Zane and Chris okay now? Was I a bride or a groom? As long as I was Sam's, I figured it didn't matter.

Sam found me there a little while later, eyeing me warily as he shut the door. I closed one eye to focus better and smiled at him. He closed his eyes for a second, shook his head, and then grinned as he walked over to me.

"You're drunk as a skunk, aren't you?" he asked. "Just how much champagne have you had?"

"Lots." I wrapped my arms around him when he got close enough and licked his neck. "Let's fuck," I purred as I chewed on his earlobe. "I've never done it with a married man."

"How about we wait until you'll actually remember it?"

That sounded good, too, so I nodded, but that unbalanced me and I began to tilt off the counter. Sam grabbed me under the arms and lowered me to the floor. "Stay there," he commanded as he backed out the door, watching me with one hand held out palm first in the universal 'stay' gesture. He was back a few minutes later with a cup of strong black coffee that he held while I slurped at the rim. In twenty minutes I was good to go, and we rejoined the party in time to waltz to the first slow song of the night. I didn't have anything more to drink, and by the time people started leaving, I was able to thank them coherently and call them by the correct name.

We finally got up to bed around midnight. Max had gone home with Cas, so we had the place to ourselves. We walked slowly down the long hall, hand in hand, stopping to kiss now and then. As we undressed, Sam reached down under the bed and handed me a flat package. I could tell from the feel that it was a frame, and when I removed the paper, I was staring at a pencil drawing of Sam and me done by Max.

We have our backs to the viewer and are walking hand in hand, fingers laced, down through the garden toward the jungle pool. The foliage is thick on either side of the path, and it appears to be dusk because the sky out in front of us is darkening. You can't see our faces and the only place we're touching is our hands, but the intimacy between us is palpable. I hugged it against my chest as I sighed at him.

"Did you ask him for that particular scene?"

"No, I just asked him to draw us in a close moment, and that's what he came up with."

"It's perfect, and you're not gonna believe this," I chuckled. I reached under my side of the bed and handed him a similar package. He smiled and kissed me as he tore off the paper. I _had_ requested a particular image, also done in pencil.

Vincent and I are asleep on the couch in the den, on our sides facing each other. The viewpoint is from someone standing at the foot of the couch. I'm a little further down the couch with my face on Sams chest. Our arms are across each other's bodies and his leg is shoved between mine. It is one of my favorite things to do with him, something we've done from the very beginning of our relationship, and again, the connection between us is strong and obvious.

We propped our frames up on our respective nightstands and got into bed. I was tired and Sam seemed content to go to sleep, so that's what we did. Morning was another story, however, and we practically set the sheets on fire. Sam was in excellent form, milking back-to-back orgasms from me before blasting cum all over the place in a crescendo of moans and grunts.

Married sex is _hot_!

The next morning, I rode Xia to work and was just unsaddling her when James found me. He was smiling, but didn't say anything until I was finished putting Xia into her stall.

"Come see," was all he said as he walked to the south barn. There in a stall deep with straw was Sherry the donkey with a fuzzy grey baby by her side. She looked pleased with herself, snuffling her nose along the baby's back as he poked under her belly for a drink. I went in with them, smiling as I ran my hand over his soft downy coat. He was the first baby born since I'd owned Castlewood, and although he wasn't a horse, he was still all mine.

Max received his high school diploma the following Wednesday in a small ceremony at Chris's office. Chris, Cas, and I were there, and took Max out for lunch at Stiva's afterward where Vincent joined us.

"So, do you feel any smarter?" Cas asked after we'd ordered.

Max grinned. "Nah. It was something I wanted to do, but I'm glad it's over. Now I can concentrate on my art."

"On that note," Cas said, handing Max a package.

Max tore the paper off to reveal a soft leather case holding a full set of Kolinsky Sable brushes. There were rounds, brights, filberts, mops, and fans everything Max would need for years of painting. It was a beautiful gift thoughtful and generous something Max probably wouldn't have splurged on for himself.

He stared at the brushes for a long moment, running his fingertips across the little leather loops holding them in place before looking up into Cas's face.

"How did you know I wanted these?"

Cas smiled at him, locked onto his eyes. "I just bought the best ones I could find and hoped you would approve."

They smiled at each other, the intimate smile of two people who are beginning to know one another well. It was Sam's turn to give me the sideways glance and subtle smirk as we watched. Thank God our food arrived then, or they might have crawled under the table together.

Sky started vet school that week. He had morning classes Monday through Thursday, spent the afternoons at the barn helping Faith, and studied all evening. I often saw him and Gabriel with their heads together over one of the horses, and finally I asked Sky about it.

"Gabriel's a really smart guy. I was having a hell of a time the other night, so he read the chapter, and then talked me through it. His explanation was clearer than the one in the book, so now we're sort of studying together. I tell him about what happened in class, and then we go through my notes. I bought a second set of textbooks so we could both read at the same time, and it's really helping me. I suppose he'll never be a vet, but he'll probably wind up knowing damn near as much as I do."

"Well, if he really sticks with it, I'll use him for a lot of the minor stuff and pay him accordingly."

I saw them again a few days later. They were sitting side by side on a bale of hay, leaning back against another, eating lunch out of a brown paper sack from home, and reading Practical Veterinary Medicine. Now and then one of them would lean over to the other, pointing out something in the book, their heads close together.

We'd stayed in touch with Jack and Paula, Katie's parents, and they drove over for the gymkhana. I told Katie I'd have a horse she could use since her jumper wasn't suited to the quick starts and tight turns of gymkhana events. They showed up on Friday afternoon, and Katie was out of the car before it stopped, dashing across the yard to me.

"Dean! This place is beautiful! How old are the barns? Where's the horse I'm gonna ride? Is Max here?"

She grabbed me in a quick hug, which I returned with a laugh. She was so enthusiastic about everything it was hard not to get caught up in her excitement. Max pulled in just then, and she ran over to his truck and jumped on him when he got out. He held onto her for a minute before leading her off for a barn tour.

Paula watched them until they were out of sight, shaking her head. "Can we leave her here until dinner? I think she'll behave herself. We threatened her with everything from no phone to dishes for a month, so I think you'll be safe for a few hours."

"Of course. I was gonna send them off on a ride, if that's okay with you. I'll watch her in the arena for a little bit to make sure she's okay with the horse I have for her."

"Sure, sure. She brought all her riding gear along. Just make sure she wears her helmet."

We agreed they'd be back in time for dinner at our place, and they drove off to find a motel and meet with a realtor. I found Katie and Max in with Ginger, who was munching carrots and getting her belly scratched.

"You guys wanna go for a ride? You could get used to the horse you'll be on tomorrow."

Katie's eyes lit up. "Yeah!"

I'd ridden Xia over a few days ago, and Flex the next day. They were hanging out together in a double stall, dozing hipshot until they heard me opening the stall door. I let Katie tack up Xia so that I could see how she handled a horse. I knew she could ride from her junior title, but didn't know how well she'd get along with Xia, who could be a little grumpy sometimes. But everything was fine, and I took them to the arena to get mounted, fixing stirrup lengths and making sure Katie was dialed in on riding western.

After having them both walk, jog, and lope for me I turned them loose on the trails, telling them the horses better be cool when they got back, and that we were eating at 6:30. They waved and trotted away.

With them out of my hair for a couple hours, I cornered Bella in the office to make sure everything was in place for tomorrow. She gave me one of those flat-eyed stares, daring me to ask again (this was the third time I'd asked her today), sighed theatrically, and assured me that it would come off without a hitch.

"Dean. It's a gymkhana, for Christ's sake, not the Queen's coronation. The kids'll have a ball, almost no matter what. Go bother somebody else."

With that, she turned her back on me, so I decided to take care of something I'd been thinking about doing for a while. Gabriel was free-jumping Cooper over a series of low jumps in the big round pen. Cooper was circling the pen at a slow canter, leaping gracefully over the two-foot jumps as he came to them, rating his own stride while Gabriel talked to him from the center of the pen.

"Come see me when you're finished." He nodded and I wandered back to my office, thinking of what I'd say to him. He knocked on the open door about twenty minutes later and I waved him in. He'd filled out a little from the steady physical work, and was tan and healthy looking. He sure filled more of the office doorway now than he had that first day when he came in, asked me for a job, and told me about his prison record. He'd shaved his beard after he moved in with Sky, so I knew there had been some influence there. There was a certain rugged beauty about his younger looking face now that the beard was gone. He'd taken 10 years off his age.

"Close the door." I waited until he sat down across from me. He was watching me warily, and I wondered just how badly he'd had it before coming to Castlewood. "You like working here, don't you?"

"You know I do. Best place I ever worked."

"Good. You've got a knack with the rescues that Sky keeps hauling home. Wanna work for the Foundation?"

He eyed me for a moment. "Maybe. Doin' what?"

"A lot more than you are now. You'd be responsible for the evaluation and rehabilitation of the horses. The six we have now plus whatever Sky comes home with in the future. I'd like to adopt them out if they're suitable. That'd be your call, as well as what kind of rider they'd need. You'd interview prospective homes, and do follow-up visits for the life of the horse, so there'd be some travel involved if they get taken out of state. I'd supervise for the first six months, then gradually step back until you were running that part of things. If it gets to be too much, we'll hire another guy as your assistant."

He was staring at me by now. "Jesus, really?"

When I nodded at him, he got up and paced away from the desk, stopping halfway across the room with his head lowered. After a few moments, he spoke in a strained voice. "I'm gay."

I could just tell from the way he said it that this was the first time he'd ever uttered the words aloud, and so I was careful with my reply. "Me, too, Gabriel. It's okay. At least half of Castlewood's employees are gay."

He turned to me with a driven look in his eyes. "I've never said that to anyone before. I wasn't even sure myself until just before I got into trouble. Then I was in prison, and Christ knows you don't want to admit that in there." He walked back until he was standing a few feet from me. "Working here has been . . . it's like coming home. I'd love to work for the Foundation, Dean. Thanks for the offer."

I stood up with my hand extended, smiling at him. We shook slowly, and as we looked at each other, we knew that there was more to it than him accepting a job. I was accepting him as a gay man, something no one had done before. He finally broke into the first real smile I'd ever seen on his face. We grinned at each other for a few seconds, and then I tugged on his hand, pulling him close enough to kiss the corner of his mouth lightly. He closed his eyes for a second, and I felt the breath of his sigh against my cheek.

"Welcome to the family," I told him. I handed him a small box. "There's a cell phone in there. Keep it on you all the time in case Sky, Faith or I need you, AND keep studying with Sky. Go send James in here, will you?"

When I informed James that his crew was now lighter by one stable boy, he just shrugged philosophically. "I figured you'd eventually tag him for something more than shoveling horse shit. He's a bright guy." James always had a line on another kid or two, and went off to call one of them after finding Sky and sending him my way.

"He accepted, huh? Great." Sky seemed pleased with the prospect of working more closely with Gabriel.

"Anything happening with you two?" I asked him.

He shook his head, but he was smiling. "Nah, but I really enjoy him living there with me. Thanks for thinking of that. He's real comfortable to be around, and I'm starting to like him a lot. The studying thing is good, too. We spend every spare minute together, talking and reading. This is what I always wanted it to be like getting to know a guy pretty well before sleeping with him."

I got up and hugged him close, happy that we were friends. "Good. I'm glad it's going the way you want." I didn't tell Sky about the gay part of my meeting with Gabriel. I figured they'd sort it out for themselves given time and compatibility.

After he left, I plowed through the paperwork necessary to add Gabriel to the Foundation's payroll, and then went out to see if the kids were back from their ride. They were just putting the horses away, so I waited until they finished and then led them to Sherry's stall. The baby donkey was frisking around in the straw, kicking up his little heels and squeaking, while she watched indulgently. Max and Katie were entranced, and I had to drag them out of the stall when I heard Katie's folks arrive.

Katie had to show them the donkeys before we left, so we spent another ten minutes saying 'awww' every time he did something cute, which was about every thirty seconds. Paula asked what his name was, and when I admitted that he didn't have one, she suggested a contest with the winner getting visitation rights for a year. I thought it was a great idea, and stopped by the office to tell Bella to make a sign for tomorrow.

We drove home in a little procession with me leading the way, then Max and Katie in Max's truck, followed by Jack and Paula in their SUV. They gave each other a long look when they got out in my driveway and glanced around. I'm not sure what all Max had told Katie about how we lived, but they looked surprised at the size of the house and grounds.

Sam was home already, and opened the front door to welcome us in. He hugged and kissed me like he always does regardless of who's around, and I loved that he was so comfortable with us as a couple. Jack was looking around the entry hall, but Paula smiled at me over Sam's shoulder.

We had lasagna from Stiva's with salad and lots of garlic bread. Sam had brought home a few good bottles of wine, and we had a really pleasant evening. Jack and Paula were friendly, casual, and intelligent, and our dinner conversation covered a wide range of subjects. Max and Katie hung in there through desert, but then ran off to Max's room.

At the end of the evening, Katie begged really hard to spend the night at our place. Sam just shrugged and Max nodded with a smile, so I said it was okay with me, assuring Paula that Katie would have her own room with a private bath. She didn't seem near as concerned with that aspect of it as she did with the prospect of Katie driving us all crazy, but I told her we'd manage for one night, so they drove off without her. Max took her bag up to the guest room at the far end of the hall.

Having Katie in the house put the kibosh on our usual dress code of underwear for TV watching, so we all ended up in sweats, and lounged around the den eating ice cream. Around 10pm, I chased both of them upstairs so that they'd be fresh for tomorrow's busy day.

After they left, Sam pulled me down onto him and shoved his hands down the back of my sweats, gripped my ass, and dragged me up and down his body. I started to move with the motion of his arms, and in a few minutes we were both hard and grinding into each other. As I started to breathe more quickly, Sam slowed us down and pushed me to my feet.

"We can't fuck here. There's a seventeen-year-old girl loose in the house."

I had completely forgotten about Katie as soon as Sam's hands had landed on my ass. We made it up the stairs, down the hall, and halfway to the bed before Sam dropped to his knees, taking my sweats with him. As my cock met the wet warmth of his mouth, I exhaled in a long 'uhhhhhhhhh', making Sam smile around me. We were between the doorway and the bed with nothing to hang to but each other, so I held Sam's head as he sucked me.

When my knees began to quiver, he brought me down to the carpet, never losing his hold on my dick. I lay on my back thrusting up into his mouth as he fondled my balls, and I had the wild thought that when I died, I wanted it to happen right in the middle of a fabulous blow job. But then I thought about how awful that would be for the person doing the blowing and quickly cancelled the idea.

After he had milked me dry, Sam straddled my chest and jerked himself off using my cum for lube. He watched me as his expression went from enjoyment to deep concentration to the grimace of orgasm, and he dropped down to kiss me as he tugged the last few drops from his cock. After he wiped me up we finally made it to the bed.

I was edgy about the first event at the new show grounds, and was in the kitchen at 5am making coffee while I watched out the window for rain. Since there wasn't a cloud in the sky, weather wasn't going to be a problem, but I was sure other things would come up. When I got to the stable at 6am, a few horse trailers were already parked along the fence as the early birds got the best spots. The concession stands were doling out coffee and donuts, and horses were munching hay while their owners chatted with each other, filled water buckets, or unloaded lawn chairs and coolers.

I love a horse show. There's a camaraderie to it all that I miss, and I was pretty happy to be having one on my own property. I wandered around saying hi to people, lending a hand here and there, and answering questions. By 7am, Bella and her helpers were doing a booming business in class registrations, and it looked like we'd have a full day.

Every horse needed to get a quick look by Faith or Sky, and the vet line was moving smoothly when I walked by. Gabriel was holding horses for them while they moved around the animal checking feet and legs for soreness. Now and then, one of them had a word with the owner, but so far, not one was rejected, and I hoped it stayed that way.

At 8am, Cas, our announcer, called the first classes to the 'in' gate. All horses in a given class waited outside the arena until it was their turn, milling about as each horse or team ran, riders talking to each other and checking out the competition. We were running the same event in both arenas simultaneously, 10-13 year olds in one and14-18 in the other.

Things came to a brief halt when one girl flew off her horse in a turn and sprained her wrist. She argued her mother into letting Faith wrap it in an Ace bandage and staying for the rest of the day, although we wouldn't let her ride.

Katie was absolutely fearless in the saddle, running Xia through the pole bending like the prize was a million bucks. I was very impressed with her riding ability, and Xia looked surprised that she had gone that fast. Katie won that class, with Max coming in 9th on Flex, who was more into retirement mode and didn't see much point in running anywhere.

We broke for lunch from 12 to 1, giving horses and riders a chance to eat and rest a bit before the afternoon events. The 'Name the Donkey' contest closed at noon, and I helped Bella and Faith sort out the entries. I suppose it should have come as no surprise that 'Eeyore' won by a landslide. When we announced it at the end of the lunch break, the crowd roared loud enough to scare a few horses. Ernesto painted up a sign real quick, and hung it on the donkey pen. Eeyore didn't look particularly impressed with his name.

One of the afternoon events was the egg race, where you clamp a plastic spoon between your teeth with an egg in the bowl. The object is to get from one end of the arena to the other while weaving through cones faster than anyone else without losing your egg. Two things Flex did still have going for him were a very smooth lope and good steering, and Max had practiced quite a bit the last couple weeks. Since he'd only been riding a few months, this one event was probably the only place he had a chance of doing well.

When his turn came, he had a little cheering section consisting of Sam, Sky, Gabriel, Zane, and me. Cas was still in the announcer's booth, but I knew he'd be cheering silently also. In the egg race there are four horses running at once. Katie ran in an early group and managed to hang onto her egg, but she walked the entire time and was fairly slow. Max was in the last group of four, and I could see him settling deep into the saddle as we'd discussed. He clamped the spoon between his molars where it would bounce less, another trick I'd mentioned to him, and then the whistle blew. He immediately asked Flex for a lope, reining him gently around each cone as they outdistanced the other competitors by a mile.

As he crossed the finish line we hooted and whistled at him, and when he realized he'd won, he stood up in the saddle with both arms raised, promptly dropping his egg onto Flex's neck, where it broke and slid down his shoulder to drip into the dirt. When we got back to where Xia and Flex were tied up for the day, Max was talking with Katie and grinning like he'd just won the lottery.

"I won!" he yelled, grabbing me in a big hug. "Thanks for the tips."

"Tips? You coached him?" Katie stared at me with her hands on her hips and an indignant expression on her pretty face.

"Yes, Miss State Champion, I did," I said, leaning forward to get in her face a little. "He didn't grow up on a horse like you and every other kid here. I just gave him a few pointers." Max and I beamed at each other and high-fived.

Katie won another class and was thrilled with herself since she'd never done gymkhana before. She loved Xia, and was already making plans to drive over at least three weekends a month so that she and Max could ride and hang out.

Cas found me as I was helping load a reluctant horse.

"Can I use Minx tomorrow?" He sounded somewhat excited.

"Yeah, I suppose. What's up?"

"I want to put Katie on her. She's got a phenomenal seat, and I want to see what she can do on a real jumper."

"Have you asked her folks?" Jack and Paula had spent the day at the gymkhana cheering on Katie and Max as they rode.

"Yeah, they're fine with it. Katie only has one more year in Amateur Owner before she'll be too old. If she's going to move up, she needs to get on a better horse. I figured Minx was a good place to start."

I agreed, and we planned to meet at 9am to see what Katie could do with a Gran Prix horse in her hands.

The last class finished up around 4:30, and trailers started rolling out the drive shortly thereafter. It had been a great day. Kids had fun, parents were happy to have a local show venue, the bathrooms never had a line, and no one got hurt aside from the sprained wrist. I chalked it up as a winner, and was already thinking about what I'd do differently for the next one.

The last trailer pulled out about 5:30, and we closed the gates with a sigh. Max and Katie had gone home to clean up. Jack and Paula were staying in town for the night. Sam had left an hour ago to go cook dinner, so I called it a day and drove home, tired but happy. Sam greeted me with a kiss and a glass of wine, sending me up to shower while he put the finishing touches on a salad to go with the meat loaf and baked potatoes that were in the oven.

We ate, and then the kids cleaned up before running up to Max's room for the evening. Sam and I took coffee and tiramisu to the den, lounging on the couch and talking as he fed us both.

"So it was a success, huh?" he asked as I licked his finger way more than necessary to get the sticky desert off.

"God, it was great. It all came off pretty much the way I planned it. It's sooo satisfying when that happens."

He held me while I slept through a movie, rubbing my back slowly, and then woke me so that we could go upstairs. As we walked past Max's room, I heard voices, so I stopped for a moment. They were talking softly, giggling now and then, and I smiled to myself. The door was slightly ajar, so I glanced in as I moved on.

They were lying on their sides face to face on Max's bed, drawn up knees bumping between them. I tapped softly on the door before stepping in.

"It's getting late. You guys about ready for bed?"

Katie sat up and smiled at me.

"I had a wonderful time today. Thanks a lot for letting me ride Xia."

She walked off down the hall to her room, and a moment later I heard the door close behind her. I turned to Max, who was still lying on the bed, on his back now, watching me.

"Please leave the door open halfway when you guys are in here, okay? I need to be able to look Paula in the eye in the morning."

He chuckled and smiled at me, nodding. I leaned over the bed on one hand to kiss him, losing my balance when he pulled me down onto him. He rolled quickly so that I was on the bottom, and attacked me with kisses. By this time, Sam was missing me, and stuck his head in the door.

"Jesus, I can't take my eyes off you for a minute. I thought you were tired."

Max was chewing on my neck at that point, so I was laughing as I replied, "I thought so, too. Wanna join us?"

"Let's take the party to our room, the bed's bigger." So we did, getting to sleep one hour and three orgasms later.

Cas was riding Minx in the arena when we got to the barn the next morning. Katie was all decked out in her jumping gear and looked a lot different than she had yesterday in jeans and a t-shirt. Jack and Paula had joined us and were taking a keen interest in Cas's 'future student'.

I tossed her onto Minx, where she gathered up the reins and listened to Cas's instructions as he adjusted the stirrups.

"Go through the gaits, both directions, to get used to her. Then we'll start with some low jumps and work our way up. What's the highest you've jumped?"

"Three-six." (3 1/2 feet)

She settled into the saddle and worked Minx up and down the gaits. Cas was right. Katie had good hands and an excellent seat. You could barely see her cue Minx to canter. After twenty minutes, Cas headed for the gate, and we all went over to the jumping arena where James had set up three-foot fences for her. She circled Minx once, and then aimed her at a vertical jump, soaring over it with room to spare. The look on her face made us all smile. She lit up like someone had flipped a switch.

"Wow! What a jump! That was great! Was there, like, two feet to spare?" she asked Cas.

"Well, not that much, but, yeah, it was a nice jump. Do the line down the right side."

She cantered along the fence, jumping each fence easily, and then pulled up near Cas again. James and I raised the jumps to three-six, then four feet, then four-six as Katie got used to the feel of a GP horse. At four feet six inches, Minzx wasn't even breaking a sweat, and Katie was getting used to the greater impulsion the horse used over larger fences. We raised a couple jumps to five feet and one to five-six, and then sent Katie around the entire course.

She knew this could be a big break for her if Cas decided to take her on as a student, and you could see her concentration from where we sat in the bleachers. She'd been on Minx for about two hours at that point, and had gotten a fairly good feel for her. They went around the course cleanly and fairly fast for her first time over fences of that size. Paula looked a little pale, but didn't say anything as she watched her only child pilot a 1200-lb horse over jumps taller than she was.

When Katie was finished, we all went into the arena, where she was jumping up and down next to Minx as she told Cas how cool it was to ride a real jumper. We sent Katie and Max back to the barn to unsaddle Minx and put her away, while Cas and I talked to Jack and Paula.

"She's got a lot of ability, and I'd like to take her on as a student . . . my first student, actually. I'm not sure how soon you thought about moving, but we could probably work something out for Katie to board here until you do. Maybe with Dean, or maybe with Faith and Bella."

Paula turned to me. "Are you comfortable with Katie staying at your place on the weekends for a couple months? You've done such a good job with Max that I trust you taking care of my baby."

I assured her that we'd be happy to have Katie stay over for as long as it took them to buy a house and get moved. I left them haggling with Cas over money, and went home to have lunch with Sam.

It was a beautiful day, so we decided to take a picnic down to the stream. I told him about Katie spending weekends and he thought it was a good idea something about the three of us learning to act like gentlemen when we were at home. Sam packed up a basket, I grabbed a blanket, and we walked down through the meadow to a patch of low grass close enough to the water that we could hear it tumble and splash over the stones of a little rapids. I spread the blanket, took off my shoes, and helped Sam empty the basket. He'd brought all sorts of goodies - cheese, crackers, grapes, chicken salad, baby carrots, brownies, and a good bottle of Pinot Grigio. We lay back with the food between us, sipping wine and watching the clouds as the afternoon passed.

After a while, Sam put the food away and lay down on his side with his arm across my chest and his head in his propped up hand. I looked up at him, loving the way his face softened as he looked at me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him softly.

"That I know your face better than I know my own. I know what it means when you narrow your eyes a little when I'm fucking you. I know how to get you to smile that little one-sided smile that makes my dick hard every time. I know when you're going to tell me that you love me because you get a certain look in your eyes." He leaned down and kissed me lingeringly. "I love knowing you that well. I love what you and I have together. I've never been in love before, so I don't have much basis for comparison, but I think it doesn't happen like this very often." He sighed and shrugged an eyebrow. "Maybe everyone who's in love thinks that, but it's true for me."

His voice trailed off and he lay down with his face in my neck. He doesn't often get like that contemplative and serious. It's more my style, and it touched something in me. I rolled to him so that we could look at each other.

"I love it that you know me that well, too. We haven't talked much about it, but since that morning in our room when we exchanged rings, I've felt like I belong to you, that you own a part of me that no one's ever touched. Whenever you do something special, like my birthday, it makes me feel incredible. No one understands me like you do."

He lay there quietly for a bit, thinking about what I'd said, I guess. When he spoke, his voice was vibrant with emotion. "I knew from that first weekend we spent together that you were the man I wanted. When you injured your shoulder, it almost killed me to see you in so much pain. No matter what happens to us, promise me you'll never forget that I need you, that you're what makes my world complete."

He was watching me with solemn eyes, holding my gaze. I swallowed and nodded. "I promise."

Wednesday Sky stopped me in the barn aisle outside Ginger's stall and asked me if it was okay that he took Friday off.

"Sure. We'll live without you for a couple days. Doin' something special?"

He started to give me a nod, but broke into a foolish grin instead. "Yeah. I might as well tell you." He glanced away for a minute, then back at me. "I'm going to see Del."

I stared at him for a second. "Del? Amarillo Del?"

Sky nodded. "We've kept in touch, and he's only about three hours away this weekend, so I'm gonna go see him."

I'd begun to smile as he spoke. "No kidding. Well. What about Gabriel?"

"What about him? I don't know what's going on with him. I think he likes me, but so far we're just pals. He hasn't so much as grabbed my ass yet."

"Huh. Well, give Del my regards, and drive safe." I hugged him close for a minute, enjoying the feel of his long, lean body. I'm not sure I'll ever get over my thing for Sky.

When I spotted him Monday afternoon he was leaning against Cooper, one elbow draped across his back, the other hand holding a stethoscope to Cooper's now invisible ribs. He had the same dreamy smile on his face that he'd had that next morning in the hotel in Amarillo, and I thought Gabriel better get with the program, or Sky would be moving to Looosiana.

I strolled over to him. "So, fucking Del put a smile on your face, huh?"

His eyebrows shot up. "I didn't fuck Del. He fucked me."

It was my turn for the eyebrows. "He topped you?"

"Yeah. Why? What'd he do to you?"

"He didn't do anything to me, but he bottomed for Sam."

"He did? We're talking about the same guy, right? Big guy, fat dick, black Stetson? I figured him for a total top."

"Yeah, that's him. I thought he would be, too, but not that night he was with us. He was in fuck-me mode right from the get-go." I gave him a suggestive look. "You're just so fuckable he couldn't resist."

He chuckled, but I could see him mentally adjusting his take on Del.

When I got home a few nights later, both Sam and Max were subdued as they greeted me. In response to my questioning look, Sam nodded at the little desk in the corner of the kitchen. On top of the pile of bills and catalogs was a notice from the district attorney's office informing Sam and Max that their presence was required at the trial of Rand Mitchell a month from now. I blew out a breath. We'd known this was coming, but in the five months since Rand's arrest we'd managed to keep it at the back of our minds.

Max and Sam had been questioned extensively in Dallas before being released, but the trial would mean coming face to face with Rand, and answering endless questions of a very personal nature in front of a courtroom of strangers.

Max was chopping potatoes with a great big knife that I knew Sam kept sharpened to a razor's edge, but his eyes were staring unfocused at the countertop just beyond the cutting board. I walked to him and put my hand gently on his shoulder. When he stopped slicing to look at me, I took the knife from his hand, set it on the counter, and wrapped my arms around him. He slumped against me with a sigh so deep it was almost a moan.

"It'll be okay, Max. Sam and I'll be right there with you the whole time. You'll be safe."

He nodded against my shoulder, and when he spoke, his breath was warm on my neck. "I know. It's just that it's been so good here and I'm kinda scared. They can't . . . they can't take me away, can they?"

I hugged him tighter for a second, and then gripped his arms as I held him away from me so that I could look into his face. His frightened, apprehensive expression reminded me so much of the first time I'd seen him that it almost made me sick. "No, honey. You just have to answer their questions. That's all, I promise you."

He stared at me for a moment before swallowing hard and exhaling. I gave him a kiss, which he returned, and I let him go back to the potatoes, making sure he was actually looking at them before I turned away. Sam had been listening from the stove and gave me a little smile when I came to him. He didn't look as bad as Max, but he certainly didn't look happy.

"You okay, baby?" I asked him softly as I cupped his cheek. He nodded glumly and kissed my palm before turning back to the skillet of pork chops he was browning. We ate a mostly silent meal, cleaned up, and went into the den. Max sat down, stood up, changed chairs, looked out the window, and finally left the room. I could hear the murmur of his voice just before he came back in to tell us he was going over to Cas's for a while.

After he left, we flipped through the channels a couple times before turning the TV off. Sam lay back and let his eyes wander over the ceiling as I watched him, wondering what I could do to make it easier. When he reached for me a little bit later, I went to him eagerly, needing comfort myself by then. I hated that this was intruding on our lives again, and I knew the next month would be hard on all of us.

We lay there for a long time, just holding each other and listening to the sounds of the house settling for the night. Max came home around midnight and went straight up to his room. Hopefully, Cas had been able to provide whatever Max had needed this evening.

Things were a little better in the morning as we got used to the idea. I knew we could get through this. It just sucked to have to relive the hurt all over again.

The following Thursday I was saddling Cooper for a trail ride when Sky called my cell. His voice was strained as he spoke curtly to me.

"I need Gabriel. Have him bring two kill shots."

'Kill shots' are what we called a hypodermic loaded with enough barbiturate to euthanize a horse. Only a vet can purchase the drugs, and we used them very infrequently, but a stable the size of ours always had a few on hand for emergencies.

I didn't bother to ask what he'd found. It had to be really bad if he needed to put two horses down.

"Where are you?"

"Out Twin Oaks off 28. He'll see the rig from the road. Tell him to hurry."

Gabriel locked onto my eyes as I told him about Sky's call, and he was out of the yard three minutes later in a cloud of dust. I went back to work, but my mind was on the two of them dealing with God knows what in some cesspool of a stable.

I'd been watching for the rig, and when it pulled in a couple hours later, I walked out to meet them. Sky was white-faced with a tight jaw and haunted eyes, and he was breathing shallowly like he was trying not to cry. Gabriel silently helped him unload two horses that were in pretty bad shape. I had a couple stable boys take them away with instructions to have Faith inspect them immediately.

Sky closed the door on the trailer, turned his back on us, and walked away toward the hay barn. As I started to follow him, Gabriel laid his hand on my arm. "Let me. Please."

We looked at each other for a long moment. I almost pushed him aside, but then I remembered them sitting on that bale of hay reading together a couple weeks ago, sharing the lunch Gabriel had made for the two of them. "Okay, but you take good care of him, you hear me?"

He nodded and hurried after Sky, who had disappeared into the big barn. I watched him go with a heavy heart. It's bad enough to see suffering, mistreated animals, but it's even worse to have to kill them yourself. Knowing you're putting them out of their misery is small comfort as you depress the plunger on the syringe and watch the light go out of their eyes.

I gave them a few minutes before walking quietly into the barn. As I came around the corner of a big stack of orchard grass bales, I saw Sky silhouetted in the open back door. His hands were braced against the door frame on either side, and his head was hanging down on his chest. Gabriel was standing behind him and slightly to the side, talking softly as Sky shook his head slowly back and forth.

When Gabriel reached a hand out to Sky's shoulder and Sky shrugged it off, I almost went to them. I just wasn't sure that Gabriel was able to give what Sky needed right now, but then Gabriel grasped Sky by the arm and turned him around. Their eyes met for a moment, Gabriel lay his other hand along Sky's cheek, Sky's face crumbled, and they came together in a rough embrace. Sky began to cry long, keening sobs that raised the hair on my arms and I turned away. About an hour later, I noticed that Gabriel's truck was gone.

On the way home, I stopped by their place. Gabriel answered the door in sweats and a t-shirt, the first time I'd seen him in something other than jeans, and he looked good. I hugged him briefly and asked about Sky.

"I don't know. He went to his room when we got home."

"And you didn't go after him?"

He looked a little uncomfortable. "No . . . figured he might need to be alone."

"Damnit, what he needs is a warm body wrapped around him. He needs comfort, Gabriel, not solitude." I pushed past him and walked down the hall until I could see into Sky's room. He was lying on the bed on his side with his knees pulled up and his arms wrapped around his chest like he was cold. As I watched a tremor moved through him.

I yanked Gabriel a few feet down the hall. "One of us is gonna get naked, strip him, and climb into that bed. You or me?" I asked him angrily.

He stared at me for a moment. "God, Dean, all I've ever done is trade blow jobs a few times. I don't know what the hell to do with him."

"I'm not asking you to fuck him, for Christ's sake! He needs to be held. You can figure that out, can't you?"

When he just stared at me, I pulled my shirt loose from my pants and started thumbing buttons open as I went back to Sky's door. As I was about to walk in, I glanced back at Gabriel. He was looking past me at Sky with an expression I thought I recognized, so I turned and tugged his t-shirt over his head. He didn't resist, and as soon as his arms were free, he dragged his sweats off, stepping out of them as he walked to the bed in just his socks. He hesitated for a moment, and then reached for Sky, rolling him onto his back as he undressed him.

I came into the room and pulled the covers back as Gabriel climbed in and pulled an unresisting Sky to him. As I pulled the sheet up over them, Sky looked up at me with red eyes.

"I didn't have any choice, Dean, I had to put them down." His voice cracked in anguish, and I felt an answering wrench in my chest.

"I know you didn't, baby. It's okay. Gabriel's here, it'll be okay."

I kissed his forehead as his eyes closed, and watched as he turned in Gabriel's arms to bury his face against Gabriel's chest. When I left them Gabriel was murmuring softly as he ran his hand the length of Sky's back in slow sweeps.

I phoned Vincent from the kitchen, and he showed up an hour later with Matt and dinner from Corleone's. I told them what I knew about this afternoon, and then went down the hall to TJ's room. Gabriel was sitting up against the headboard with TJ leaning against him and they were talking.

"Hey," I said, stepping into the room. "Sam brought lasagna. You hungry?"

They both nodded, and I left the room to give them a little privacy while they got dressed. When Sky came into the kitchen, he looked a lot better when I'd last seen him, smiling when Max and Sam greeted him with warm hugs. I walked over to Gabriel and pulled him to me. He heaved a big sigh and hugged me tightly before leaning back so he could look at me.

"Thanks. I don't know what the fuck was the matter with me in the hall there. I just froze when you said I had to get in bed with him. I know you didn't mean for sex, but it just caught me by surprise, I guess."

"It's okay. He looks a lot better, so you did good."

"Yeah, we talked about it and he knows it was the only thing to do."

"Doesn't make it any easier."

Max had gotten plates and forks out while we were talking, so we loaded up and went into the big family room at the back of the house. The entire back wall was windows that looked out over the meadows of Castlewood. It was almost dark, and the lights of the pool lit the backyard with a soft blue glow. We ate while Sky told us what he'd found.

He'd been unable to get two of the four horses to their feet always a bad sign and he'd done the right thing in euthanizing them. His voice was steady as he talked, and I knew he'd be all right. The first one is always really hard. Not that you ever get used to killing a defenseless animal, but the first one can be a career breaker.

After supper, we cleaned up the kitchen, and left them together on the couch with coffee and chocolate éclairs, Sam's Italian cure-all.

The next day I was unsaddling Chloe's latest acquisition, a flighty Arabian she'd picked up at the Scottsdale sale a few weeks ago, when Sky found me. "Got a minute?"

"Sure. Just let me get done here." After I got the horse put away, Sky and I wandered to my office. "You okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I've never had to kill something before. Well, anyway, I'm sorry."

I looked at him. "What the hell're you sorry for? I'd think you were weird if it didn't mess you up a little."

He nodded again. "Yeah, I guess. Was it your idea for Gabriel to . . . ?" His voice trailed away.

"No, his." I watched as he processed this. "Why?" I asked him.

"Just curious." He shrugged it off. "What I really wanted to talk to you about is the shoeing. I can't keep up with all the horses you have now and still have enough time to study."

"No problem, I'll call Tay."

Sky went back to work and I dialed Tay's cell. I hadn't spoken to him in the few weeks since our little rendezvous in the pantry, and found that my heartbeat had picked up a little as I waited for him to answer.

"Tay here."

"Hey, bud, can you fit us back into your rounds?"

"Dean? Somethin' happen to Sky?"

"Nah, he's just too busy with school."

"Yeah, sure. When you want me to start?"

"Next week?"

"You got it. See you Tuesday."

The phone rang and Katie's exuberant voice bubbled into my ear.

"Dean!" She reminded me of a younger, less foul-mouthed Chloe, all irrepressible enthusiasm.

"Katie!" I replied. She laughed.

"I'm coming over for the weekend, and just called to let you know."

"Okay, come ahead. We're as ready as we're gonna get."

This was the first weekend she'd be staying with us since she'd signed up as Cas's student, and the timing couldn't have been better. She'd keep our minds off the trial if anything could.

She showed up the next afternoon, pulling into the yard in a whirl of music and dust. I was riding Kahn from the arena to the stallion barn, and he flung a foot at her car when she cut it too close for his liking. By the time I slid off him, she was right there.

"God, what a gorgeous horse. Is he the one you rode in the GPs? He can really jump, huh? Is he hard to ride?"

I laughed and ignored all but the last question. "He can be a handful, yeah, but he's an amazing jumper."

She helped me untack Kahn, and put his blanket and hood on. Max showed up then and they went for a trail ride on Xia and Flex. Katie knew how to pony a horse, so I put Ginger on a long lead, and they set off at a jog. Ginger was just about up to a weight Faith was comfortable with before we started riding her, and had turned into a bright, flashy chestnut. Those four white stockings and wide blaze down her face made her a real beauty. I really wanted to buy her, but hadn't been able to talk Sky into selling.

That evening after dinner, we adjourned to the den with coffee and desert. Sam and I had decided that gym shorts and t-shirts constituted acceptable evening wear when Katie was in residence, and we were sitting at either end of the couch with our feet in each other's crotches when she and Max came in. They settled on the floor in front of the fireplace with Max's laptop and a bowl of popcorn.

It was all very domestic, and I smiled at Sam when he wiggled his toes under my balls. We spent a pleasant evening just hanging out. Sam and I read for a while, but I finally put my book down after smacking myself in the nose with it when I nodded off. I awoke a couple hours later to the feel of Sam's tongue lapping at my balls. He'd tugged them out the leg of my shorts, and was on his belly between my legs with my dick in his hand and my nuts in his mouth. I guess the ban on fucking in the den when Katie was in the house had been called off for the evening. I closed my eyes again and let him suck me off, jerking silently into his throat as I came.

When he was sure I was finished, he hauled my shorts down, kicked off his own, and began to hump my thigh as I worked his nipples. When his strokes shortened, I pulled him down to kiss me, shoving my tongue into his mouth as he ground his cock into my leg. I slid one hand around to his ass, just pressing a fingertip into him as he began to shoot. He broke the kiss and grunted into my neck as he drained his balls onto my belly.

"You know," he said conversationally when his breathing had evened out, "I get hard ten times a day just thinking about you."

I smiled. "I know, me too. Do you suppose it'll still be like that when we're sixty?"

"Sixty," he repeated despondently. "Fuck. Are we really gonna get that old?"

"Jesus, I hope so. Don't you wanna grow old with me?"

He snorted. "You know the answer to that." He was silent for a moment as he rested his head on my shoulder before continuing. "Getting the trial notice shook me up more than I thought it would. That day . . . I stayed sane knowing you'd be home soon. That if I could hang on just a little longer, you'd be there to hold me. I've never wanted anything more in my entire life than to feel your arms around me."

Sam had never spoken like this about the attack, and I barely breathed while I held him tight to me, waiting for him to continue.

"At first I was afraid you'd come home while they were still here. I would have lost my mind if they'd hurt you." He closed his eyes and huffed out a breath. "But when I realized they'd left, I just concentrated on you. I thought about the way you kissed me goodbye that morning. I don't know if you remember, but you were being silly and I finally had to grab you to get a kiss; then I thought you were gonna suck my tongue out. It took the entire drive to work for my dick to go down."

I had forgotten that entirely. Funny what your mind hangs onto.

"Then, when I heard you come into the room, I got scared. I didn't know . . . Sometimes when a woman is raped, her husband or boyfriend can't stand to touch her again. It's like she's dirty or something, even though it wasn't her fault. I didn't know if maybe you'd feel that way about me."

I couldn't take any more. I rolled him off me and pushed my way to a sitting position, struggling to get where I could look him in the face.

"Jesus, Sam, I can't believe you thought that! My God, all I could think was to get you loose and cover up those horrible burns. I was desperate to hold you, but I didn't know how badly you were hurt. I never felt like that. Never."

I had his face in my hands by this time, staring into his eyes so that he could see the truth in mine. "I wished that I'd called you to come have dinner with me, or that we had plans that night anything so that you weren't home by yourself. It wouldn't have happened if I had . . . "

"Don't you dare blame yourself," he interrupted me. "I did enough of that for both of us. That was part of my problem afterwards. I got the idea in my head that if I hadn't moved in here, it wouldn't have happened, and I wouldn't have put you through all that shit. But I finally decided that nothing would have changed it. Rand still would have found me somehow, and I'm not sure I would have made it through without you."

He reached up to hold my wrists loosely as we looked at each other for a few moments. Finally, he leaned forward to kiss me. "Ready for bed?"

I nodded, and we went upstairs. I watched him as we brushed our teeth and peed. He glanced at me now and then, and we smiled at each other each time. A relationship turns on moments like those, and I held Sam extra close that night, more aware than ever how important he was to me.

Katie spent Saturday riding an increasingly difficult selection of horses, learning to cope with their quirks and physical differences. One needed encouragement over big fences; the next required a firm grip on the reins. Turned out she was better on the strong horses, not unlike Cas and I.

We had a scary moment when one of Chloe's jumpers ducked out at the last minute, sending Katie flying into the rails. Luckily, the whole thing came down in a jumble, and she was just banged up. I got to her first, kneeling down next to her as she struggled to her knees.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed. "That hurt!" Maybe she was more like Chloe than I'd thought.

She had a big knot on her arm and a couple scrapes, but she was unharmed otherwise, and demanded to get back on the horse. Cas tossed her into the saddle, and she gathered up the reins with a do or die expression on her face as we rebuilt the jump. After circling once, she aimed the horse at the fence using her spurs and whip, and cleared it with no problem, grinning as she cantered up to us.

"Girl's got balls," Cas muttered to me.

That evening before dinner, I noticed her grimacing as she raised her arm to get plates out of the cupboard. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just bruised, I think. I didn't look yet." With that, she hauled her t-shirt over her head and turned around. The upper left side of her small back was purple and blue with little red sunbursts of broken blood vessels here and there. I was still goggling at it when Max, Sam, and Cas walked in from the patio. Katie didn't seem at all bothered standing there in her pink bra with four men staring at her.

"Jesus Christ!" Max said.

"Is it bad?" she asked, twisting her head to try and see it. Cas went to her and probed gently at her shoulder blade and ribs. Katie frowned, but kept quiet until he was finished. She walked over to the mirror and examined it for a moment, then shrugged.

"Not as bad as the time I came off into the arena fence at home. I thought my leg was broken." She tugged her t-shirt back on, and we all got to work making dinner.

Cas went home after supper, and later that evening I went up to our room to change. As I walked by Max's open door, I glanced in to see him and Katie sitting cross legged on the bed kissing.

I watched for a moment, trying to decide what to do. I sure as hell didn't want Katie seduced on my watch, but I was pretty sure Max wouldn't do that. Then I suddenly remembered what my hormones were like at eighteen and stepped in to the room. They broke the kiss and looked at me. Max looked faintly embarrassed and Katie gave me a sunny smile.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"Practicing," Katie replied. "There's a guy at school I like, and I wanna be able to kiss good when he kisses me for the first time."

"So you're practicing on Max?" I asked skeptically. Max kissed pretty good as far as I was concerned, and I wondered idly what Katie thought of him. I could feel a hot flush working its way up my neck, and struggled to suppress it as Katie looked closely at me.

"Dean, are you blushing? I'm seventeen, for God's sake, not seven. I turn eighteen next week. Then I'll be legal!"

At that point, I just held up my hand to silence her and left the room. I changed my clothes and went back downstairs.

Sam took one look at my face and demanded to know what happened. I told him the whole story, and then asked him if he thought we should forbid Max and Katie to be alone together, but even as I uttered the words I knew it was a stupid idea. Sam pointed out that having Katie experiment upstairs with (mostly) gay Max was a hell of a lot safer for her than turning her loose in the back seat of some horny straight kid's car to figure it out. I agreed with that, although what Paula might think about the whole thing made me somewhat uncomfortable.

Sunday morning everyone was lazy, and it was almost ten before we all made it down to the kitchen. Sam was buried in the newspaper while he nursed a cup of coffee, and I was leaning on his shoulder yawning and scratching my chest. We were wearing sweat pants and t-shirts, and I was eyeing the unrestrained mound in Sam's lap and trying to decide if I should drag him back upstairs when Max and Katie wandered in.

They were still in their sleepwear as they poured juice and started breakfast.

Sam shifted under my arm just then, and I glanced down in time to see him root around in his crotch. As he tugged the heavy shape of his soft cock into a more comfortable position, my body responded almost immediately. I chuckled to myself and kissed the back of his neck before going to help the kids get breakfast on the table.

We all went to the stable for a while in the early afternoon. Max and Katie rode for a couple hours while Sam helped me set up a computer in the smaller office next to mine. Sky and Gabriel needed a place to work on Foundation business, so we moved some furniture around and got them ready to go Monday morning.

We ate a late lunch across the street at the deli, and then Katie headed home. She kissed Max goodbye on the mouth, and I thought she was going to do the same to me, but she planted it on my cheek instead. She hugged Sam, but didn't kiss him, and then she was gone. Max watched until she was out of sight, and then turned to me with a smile.

"I really like Katie. I told her all about my life before I came here, stuff I never even told you."

"And what did she think?"

"That they oughta hang Rand up by his balls and leave him for the crows."

"Jesus. Her words or yours?"

"Hers."

I revised my impression of sweet, virginal Katie another few degrees, and we went home.

Tay pulled into the yard about 8am on Tuesday morning, stretching as he got out of his truck. I watched him from my office window, enjoying the strain of his packed crotch against his jeans as he arched his back. James put the first horse in the cross-tie stall and Tay went to work. When I got out there a few hours later, Tay was bent over with his back to me rasping a hind hoof. His legs were spread and tensed with the effort he was putting into it, and it was all I could do not to squeeze his hard, round butt. James and I gazed at it in appreciation until he released the horse's leg.

I grinned at him when he straightened up, but he gave me only a half-hearted smile in return and barely met my eyes. Uh-oh, I thought, the pantry episode must have been a little too much. James went off to supervise the arrival of a horse van, so I held the next two horses for Tay, talking about inconsequential stuff, trying to get him to loosen up with me. He finally smiled when I told him about Katie and Max 'practicing'.

"Max's never been with a girl?" he asked as he ducked under my arm to get to the other side of the horse.

"Uh-uh. Me neither," I added. He glanced up at me with a look I couldn't read, so I decided to force the issue. "Look, Tay, I'm sorry about that day in the pantry. I shouldn't've grabbed you like that. I was pretty toasted and just doin' what comes naturally."

He looked off across the yard before licking his lips and turning back to me. He said it so softly that I would have missed it if I hadn't been looking right at him. "Me, too."

Tay looked away again, and now I could see misery and confusion in his face. He stared unseeingly across the yard for a few moments as I watched him. I was trying to decide what the hell to say when he heaved a big sigh.

"I been fightin' it a long time, Dean. I didn't really even know what the fuck was wrong with me until that day in your office. I never got that hard in my life even when Becky really worked at it. Cow kicked me in the nuts when I was a kid, and I always just sorta figured somethin' wasn't workin' right down there." He paused for a moment. "But it worked fine with you. I don't know how many times I've thought about that day. A lot. At your wedding, I was prayin' that I wouldn't feel anything when I kissed you, but I did, and then you grabbed my dick and I knew."

He still had the rasp in his hand and suddenly whipped it out into the yard as emotion overwhelmed him. His voice shook as he said, "But it ain't gonna happen. It'd fuckin' kill my old man if his boy was a queer."

As he walked over to pick up the rasp I could see him getting himself under control, and by the time he got back to me his face was set. He finished shoeing the horse and packed up his truck before he spoke to me again. He met my eyes as he talked, and the naked pain in them shocked me.

"You been a good friend to me, Dean, and I reckon I needed to tell somebody. But it ain't gonna happen, so just forget what I said."

"Tay." I reached out to put my hand on his shoulder, but he ducked away, climbed in his truck, and drove away down the lane. I stood there watching him until he was out of sight.

Talking to Tay had really shaken me up, and I felt terrible that I had been the catalyst for something that had upset him so badly. I left the barn shortly after he drove off, riding out the back gate on Xia to find some peace and quiet on the trails.

My own coming out had been pretty much a non-event due to my sensitive, accepting mother. God knows what my dad initially thought about it, but after Mary was through with him, he was very supportive. That wouldn't be the case with Tay's dad, apparently.

After an hour spent wandering around the back part of the neighborhood, I concluded that there wasn't much I could do for Tay other than be receptive if he ever decided to talk to me again. After today that seemed unlikely, but I decided I'd spend as much time with him as possible when he was at the barn shoeing. Maybe he'd get comfortable enough with me that we could discuss it rationally. It really bothered me to think of him going through the rest of his life as miserable as he'd been this afternoon.

I told Sam everything over dinner. He listened without comment, and then said, "You know you can't do anything, don't you? Not until he's ready to explore what he feels."

I nodded glumly. Why did life have to be so difficult sometimes?

When Katie pulled into the yard the following Friday, I took her to the tack room and presented her with a protective body vest like the ones eventing riders wear when they ride the big cross country courses. It protects your chest and back if you fall off the horse as Katie had last week. Seeing the bruises on her back had prompted me to buy it.

"Wow, Dean, thanks. I never wore one of these before, but it's probably a good idea, huh, cause I'm jumpin' higher fences now, and urgghhh."

I had dropped it over her head, then stepped behind her and cinched the side straps tight.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"My boobs," she said in a strangled voice.

I'd purchased an extra-small in the men's style without even thinking about it, and the front was only slightly contoured for a man's chest with no room whatsoever for breasts. Ernesto walked by as I started to loosen the straps. He grasped the problem immediately, lifting Katie's arm and studying the soft curve bulging out the side. He gingerly hooked a thumb into the edge of the front panel and pulled it slightly away from her body. The bulge disappeared and Katie let out a sigh of relief. Ernesto motioned to me to give him the vest, so we tugged it off Katie, and he walked away with it.

Twenty minutes later he was back. He had cut a V out of the plastic on either side, then glued it back together and sanded it smooth. The darts added fullness to the chest and snugged up the waist a little, something else I had neglected to take into consideration. This time when I tightened the straps, Katie wiggled the vest just a bit, settling into it, then grinned at Ernesto.

"Perfect! Thanks!" She hugged him, which brought a pink bloom to his dark cheeks, then bounced off to get Minx out of her stall. I made a note to order her a women's model as soon as I got back to my office.

Saturday Katie rode really well, piloting two of our better jumpers around a big course. Not GP big, but big enough. After she had gone home, Cas found me in Ginger's stall. I could tell he wanted something fairly major because he beat around the bush a little before getting to the point.

We covered whether it might rain this week, how cute Eeyore was, Max's latest drawing of Katie sailing over a fence. Finally, he took a breath and said, "I want to put Katie on Kahn."

I looked up at him from my position at Ginger's left front foot. "He's too much horse for her right now. Maybe ever. You know what he's like."

"And you know she's good on the strong ones."

"Cas, he's a handful for you or me, and we're a lot stronger and much more experienced than she is."

"I'll work him for a couple hours first, and I won't have her jump him. I just want to see how she does with him on the flat."

Now he had me thinking about it, though I still had my doubts. "Well, all right, but I wanna be there."

We agreed on 11am the next morning, and I could see the surprise on Katie's face when she saw Cas on Kahn. She turned to me with a questioning look, and when I nodded, she let out a whoop of excitement and began to put on her vest, helmet, and gloves. When she picked up the vest, I didn't tell her that she wouldn't be jumping. I figured it couldn't hurt to wear the thing on the off chance that Kahn dumped her and then decided to step on her for good measure.

Cas had worked Kahn into a lather, but I knew he still had a lot left if he was feeling frisky. Cas replaced his saddle with Katie's and gave her a leg up. Kahn is big, and I could see Katie eyeing how far she was from the ground. She gathered up the double reins and asked Kahn to walk. His head came up at the unfamiliar signals, and I thought it was gonna be all over right there, but when she cued him more firmly, he dropped his head and walked to the rail.

Cas ran her through the gaits, and we watched as Katie tried to adjust Kahn's big strides and arrogant attitude. At one point, she circled him away from the rail to change directions. He didn't feel like doing that and shook his head a few times as he moved sideways under her. She stuck a spur in him, growled in his ear, and swatted him with her crop as she legged him into the turn. 90% of the battle with a strong-willed horse is to have the courage of your convictions. Katie had that (this time), and Kahn conceded the match, completing the turn quietly, but riding him on the flat in the arena was entirely different than piloting him around a big jumping course in front of a noisy crowd. Katie had a lot of work ahead of her if she expected to ride him in competition.

The next two weeks passed fairly uneventfully. Tay came every Tuesday to shoe whichever horses were due. The first week he gave me a look when I handed him a Starbucks and held the horse for him, obviously wondering why I didn't have a stable boy doing such a menial task. I just smiled at him and sipped my mocha.

When I got called away to the phone, I snagged Gabriel to hold the horse Tay was working on. As I walked away, Tay was staring at Gabriel, probably wondering which side of the fence he fell on.

The second week Tay was pretty friendly with me, chatting like he used to as he worked on hoof after hoof. We had a full day of horses, so I ordered us sandwiches from the deli. We went to my office for lunch, where I sat in one of the visitor's chairs next to him, sharing the small table between us. It was private and quiet, and I could see the wheels turning as we ate, but he stuck to neutral subjects like Sky going to vet school, and the various rescues we had now eight in all.

He worked through the afternoon and didn't finish up until almost five, so I invited him home for dinner. He looked at me for a long moment trying to determine my motive, I suppose so I coaxed him a little.

"Come on, it's just dinner. We eat with forks just like straight guys do, for Christ's sake, and I promise we won't talk about anything queer."

"Jesus, Dean." He had the grace to flush at that, and then he smiled at me. "Yeah, okay, that'd be good, thanks. I got a clean shirt in the truck."

Sam raised an eyebrow at me when I strolled into the kitchen with Tay, and I raised both of mine back. He was looking damn sexy to me in a tailored burgundy shirt paired with tight black jeans and my crotch lit up like a pinball machine as I struggled for something innocuous to say in front of Tay. Unfortunately, 'fuck me NOW!' was the only thing that immediately came to mind.

"You remember Tay, don't you?" I managed as I let Tay walk ahead of me and frantically adjusted my thickening cock to a more comfortable, if less inconspicuous, position. I also pulled my shirt loose in an effort to look casual and hide my boner at the same time. Sam shook hands with Tay, ignoring my glares, and directed him down the hall to the bathroom. As soon as Tay rounded the corner out of sight, I grabbed Sam's arm.

"You looked totally edible." I hissed. "I want you now!"

He patted my chest soothingly and kissed me on the mouth. "Calm down, Dean. We have company, remember?"

Tay came walking back into the kitchen doing up the top button on his Wranglers and buckling his belt kind of a reverse strip tease. As he tugged his belt into place, the crotch of his jeans snugged up tight for a moment, and I saw Sam glance at the healthy bulge on display there.

Max loped in from the garage just then. A big grin spread slowly across his face as he walked to us. Tay was sort of behind me and off to the side, so Max didn't see him as he cupped Sam behind his neck and wetly kissed him hello.

"You look fucking HOT!"

I glanced at Tay, who was taking it all in with an unreadable expression on his face. I'd told him we wouldn't talk about anything queer; I hadn't promised him we wouldn't _do_ anything queer.

"Max, I think you know Tay from the barn."

Max's gaze passed over me as he turned to shake Tay's hand, and I could tell he was wondering what the hell was up. I poured wine for Sam and me, got a beer for Tay, and left Max staring into the fridge trying to decide between iced tea and milk.

We had lamb chops with mint jelly, new potatoes, and fresh bread. Tay ate steadily, and I figured his bachelor dinners probably didn't compare with Sam's culinary skills. He was quiet, but I saw that he was paying attention to the physical interactions between Sam and me. He noticed how Sam always touched me when he walked behind my chair, and the way we smiled at each other when our eyes met. Sam called me 'babe' or 'sweetheart' on a regular basis, something Tay probably hadn't heard since he'd never spent much time around us privately like this.

By the time we headed for the den with coffee and a box of Stiva's finest pastries, Tay seemed pretty comfortable. Max joined us with a book, tugged his shirt off, dropped his pants to the floor, and was curled up in his chair before recalling that we had company. Tay had been looking at Max during all this, studying Max's body as he stammered out an apology.

"Sorry," Max said. "We always, um, sit around in our, uh, shorts in the evening."

"No problem," Tay muttered, finally turning away from the sight of Max's smooth, slender body. I studied Max for another moment, wondering what aspect of him had interested Tay most. The dark pink nipples, the narrow hips, the pale fuzz below his belly button that widened slightly just above his briefs? Max looked very appealing to me, but then, I already loved him.

I pushed Tay down onto the couch and sat next to him as Sam took a chair across from us. We munched on chocolate éclairs, pecan brownies, and Italian wedding cookies while watching a slideshow of Max's Amarillo photos on the TV. Each picture was on the screen for ten seconds, and Tay leaned forward to study the one of Chris kissing Zane while Zane held up his trophy, and later, the one of me staring at Del in stupefied delight.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"Guy named Del we met at a bar." I figured he didn't need the extended description of Del as the guy we took back to our room for a rowdy couple hours of mindless sex, or the guy his former employee, Sky, had spent a hot weekend with recently.

Tay watched the rest of the slides in silence, except for a comment on how good Cher looked working a steer. After the last picture faded off the screen, he stood to leave. I walked him to the door, stopping when he turned to face me with a serious expression.

"Thanks for dinner. You and Sam and, uh, Max seem like you got a good relationship. It, ah . . ."

He waved a hand vaguely and couldn't seem to find a word that covered the three of us, so I saved him. "We love each other."

"Yeah, I guess that's it." He looked away down the empty hall for a moment. "You know what old man Harper down to the feed store calls Castlewood? Faggot Farm."

I hadn't known that, but it didn't surprise me. Douglas Harper was a mean, unhappy old man who hated almost everything. I made a mental note to check with Bella. I didn't think Castlewood spent any money with him, but now I was going to make damn sure that none of us owners, trainers, riders, stable boys ever went in there again.

As Tay began to go out the door, I put a hand on his shoulder. When he turned back to me questioningly, I kissed him lightly on the mouth and then pulled him into a hug. He hesitated just a moment before bringing his arms up around my back. I gave him enough of a squeeze to bump our crotches together and then let him go. He gave me an odd little smile and left.

Sam found me in the kitchen a few minutes later, raising an eyebrow when I glanced at him. I shrugged. "He said we looked good together."

"Damn right we do," he said, grabbing me from behind with a hand on my chest and the other cupping my nuts and tugging them up firmly. As he nibbled on my ear, I ground my butt back into him, giggling when he made chomping noises on my neck. I turned in his arms so we could kiss, and felt another set of hands slide up my back as Max leaned against me. He kissed Sam over my shoulder, humping my ass while Sam was hardening against me in front.

Having Tay around had fired up my cock sucking inclinations, so I dragged Sam's jeans down his thighs, pulled Max's dick out of his boxer briefs, and dropped to my knees. With a hard cock in each hand, I turned my head back and forth, working one and then the other, until both of them were pumping into my fists. I knew Sam had better control than Max, so I got him close, and then kept him there with my hand while I blew Max.

By the time I tugged the last mouthful out of Max, Sam's cock had drizzled precum down my arm clear to the elbow. As I buried my nose in the familiar, arousing scent of Sam, I knew this wasn't gonna take long, and I was right.

Sam reached a hand to my chest and thumbed my nipple as I slurped on his dripping cock. Max had knelt down beside me with a hand tickling my balls and his mouth on my neck. When I could no longer pant and suck at the same time, I dropped Sam's cock from my mouth and looked up at him as I endured those last few endless seconds before orgasm. He stared at me through narrowed eyes, waiting until I started to shoot before dropping his head back and firing his load onto my chest.

When my breathing had slowed, I started to get to my feet, but I'd been kneeling on hard tile for twenty minutes and my knees wouldn't work. Sam hauled me to my feet and sat me on one of the island stools, chuckling to himself as he unbuttoned my shirt.

"This is why you're supposed to do it naked," he said, holding up my cum-covered shirt as evidence. We stripped and threw all the clothes in the washer before heading back to the den. The three of us wedged ourselves into a pile on the couch, covered up with quilts, and watched TV until Sam was the only one awake.

Late morning on the Friday before the trial, Jesse called me as I was plowing through paperwork in my office at Castlewood. I'd left him a message about the trial date and wasn't surprised when he returned my call.

"Hey. We want to come over and see you guys this weekend. What day's good for you?"

Sam had a wedding Saturday, so we settled on Sunday. "Come for lunch. It's supposed to be hot so we can do the pool thing." Katie flashed through my head. "Bring suits. We may have a girl around for a few hours."

He chuckled as I explained Katie to him, and told him the story of her practicing on Max.

"Jesus, she sounds dangerous. Don't let her corrupt him, for God's sake."

After we'd said goodbye, I decided to try to get everyone over for dinner and hot tubbing on Sunday. That would give us the afternoon with just Ben and Jesse, which I felt would be good for both Max and Sam.

Chris and Zane were in town and said they'd love to come over. I saw Zane most days at the barn, but had seen Chris only once since Amarillo. We'd had lunch together a couple weeks ago our quarterly financial update lunch.

Cas said he'd be there. He came over a few nights a week for dinner anyway, so having him around for Sunday was pretty much a given.

Sky was free and asked if he could bring Gabriel.

"Sure, if you think he's ready for the whole bare-assed bunch of us."

"Yeah, it'll be good for him. It's a no-pressure way for us to get naked with each other again, and maybe seeing all those swingin' dicks'll get him in the mood."

"In the mood? Didn't you guys get together that day he climbed in bed with you?"

"No! He did exactly what you told him to do. He comforted me. Which was great that's what I needed that day, but by that night, I needed something else and I made it pretty damn clear."

"Why haven't you just jumped him?"

"I don't know." His voice was full of frustration and disappointment. "I like him a lot, but I'm not sure we're gonna click, ya know? That's why I went to see Del. I needed to remember what it's like to be excited about being with someone. Gabriel's a great guy. I just don't think he's my guy."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, don't worry about it. I'm sure my man's out there somewhere. Anyway, thanks for the invite. We'll be there."

That phone call explained a lot. I had wondered at Sky's motivation for running off to see Del when he had a perfectly good guy right there in the next bedroom. But chemistry's a funny thing, and if they didn't have it, they didn't have it.

Next I called David, Max's artistic mentor, and to my surprise, he accepted. He'd become a friend in the handful of months since he'd been helping Max discover his abilities, and I was pleased that he'd be joining us.

After I hung up with David, I sat there for a few minutes, and then picked up the phone again.

"Tay here."

"Hey. We're having a thing at the house Sunday bar-b-q and hot tub and I think you should come over. It'll be the guy who helped out Sam in Dallas, his partner, Sky, Cas, and some guys you met at the wedding."

"Well."

"Oh, come on. We get naked in the hot tub, and sometimes there's a little grab-ass, but that's about it." Tay was silent. "Where are you?"

"Just down the road from you at Bob Packer's place. "

"You eat yet?"

"No, but . . . "

"Stay put. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

I hung up on him before he could object further, leaped in the car, and zoomed down the lane to the deli across the road. Fifteen minutes later, I was pulling into Packer's lane. Bob and his wife kept two Clydesdales sisters named Tilly and Lily big, gentle creatures with feet the size of dinner plates. Tay was just putting Lily away when I got out of the car.

"Come on." I tipped my head toward the pond at the side of the house, and walked out to the end of the little dock Bob had built for his wife. They both worked during the day, so I knew we had the place to ourselves. Tay sat down beside me, our feet dangling just above the water, and sighed when I handed him a big, messy, meatball sub.

We ate silently, watching frogs and birds putter around the edge of the pond. It wasn't very large, but it was a year-round source of water and drew all sorts of wildlife. At one point I wiped a smear of sauce off Tay's cheek with my finger, and then sucked it clean while he watched me. One side of his mouth kicked up in a tiny smile before he turned back to his sandwich.

After I had shoved the wrappers back into the bag, I rested a hand on Tay's thigh. He sat there looking down at it, but didn't move as I rubbed my thumb slowly back and forth.

"How's that feel?" I asked him quietly.

He swallowed hard, and for a moment I thought he wasn't gonna answer, but then he whispered, "Good. It feels real good."

"Come over Sunday, Tay. Just hang out with us for a while. You don't have to get naked, and nobody's gonna hassle you."

"Everybody who's gonna be there, they're all " He paused, and I didn't think he'd be able to get the word out, but he finally managed it. "gay, right?"

"Yup. Every last one of us likes boys. Well, except for Max," I added, thinking of Katie. "He's kind of straddling the fence at the moment."

He was silent for several minutes, and since I didn't have to be anywhere else, I let him think as he watched my thumb sweep in little arcs across his leg. Finally he spoke.

"Can I ask you somethin' personal?"

Thrilled to have him curious and talking, I replied, "Anything."

"When Max came in the other night, he kissed Sam like I kissed you that day." He paused, and then came out with it. "Does Sam sleep with both of you?"

I squeezed his leg. "Mostly it's just Sam and me, but yeah, the three of us have fooled around in various combinations, depending on who's home and who's in the mood."

He took a while to process that, staring off across the fields. Somewhere during that lull, he wrapped his hand around my wrist and held me loosely rubbing the back of my hand with his pinky as I continued to stroke his leg with my thumb.

"You're not jealous? I mean, Sam's pretty much married to you. Why do you let him fuck around?"

I thought about how to explain our relationship to Tay, who'd been raised in the straight, monogamous world of a small town.

"Well, I don't just let him, he lets me, too. That day in my office? I called him to ask if it was okay before you got your blow job." He looked at me for the first time since we'd sat down. "Sam and I trust each other. BUT not all gay couples play around. Jesse and his partner Ben are monogamous. It can be whatever you make it, whatever you want it to be."

Tay turned away again, and I wondered if I was getting through to him at all. I slid my hand slowly up his leg, eventually bumping into his nuts. He still held my wrist and made no attempt to stop me, although he closed his eyes for a moment. I flexed my fingers into the meat of his inner thigh.

"So, you gonna come over?"

He smiled, still with his eyes closed, and squeezed my wrist. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna come over."

We went back to our respective jobs, both of us thinking that Sunday was gonna be an interesting day.

When I got back to the barn, I called Adam to invite him to the get-together on Sunday, but he said he was leaving for Los Angeles Saturday morning and wouldn't be back until Tuesday. We chatted a bit, and he was friendly enough, but our old easy intimacy was gone. After I hung up, I sat there lost in thought, staring out the window and thinking about Sam.

Talking to Adam always upset me a little and I decided to indulge myself in something guaranteed to take my mind off him. I tugged off my pants, took off my underwear, and put my oldest riding tights on.

In the car on the way to Stiva's, I called Vincent's cell. "Hey, I need a favor. Could I borrow your apartment? I need to seduce Sam and that's the closest place. Plus it'll be like old times since that's where it all started."

He laughingly agreed, adding a crude remark about nooners before promising to send Sam out the back door in fifteen minutes.

By the time Sam stuck his head out, I was lounging on the stairs with my shirt partially unbuttoned and one hand inside pinching a nipple. My erection was slanting across my belly, outlined in what I hoped was mouth-watering detail by my clingy white tights. I smiled at him and slowly ran my tongue across my upper lip.

His expression tightened, and he glanced back into the kitchen before stepping out and letting the door close behind him. He watched the hand inside my shirt for a moment before dropping his gaze to my crotch. When my cock lurched, his jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath as his hand moved involuntarily to his own hardening cock.

I crooked my finger at him as I got to my feet, looking over my shoulder as I took a few steps up, making sure my ass was facing him. He stared at it for a second, and then took the steps two at a time, coming after me fast. I made it about halfway to the landing before he got a hand on me, gripping my hip as he came alongside. He thrust the door open and propelled me inside, slowing only long enough to kick the door shut behind us.

As we neared the couch, he stepped behind me and hooked his thumbs into the elastic waist of my tights, hauling them below my knees in one smooth move. My cock got caught for a moment and then sprang free, brushing against his hand as he wrapped his arms around me. He bumped his knees into the back of mine, dropped me to the floor, and pushed my chest down onto the couch. I heard his zipper and then he was behind me, nudging the head of his cock at my hole. I was beginning to wish I'd remembered lube when I heard the 'pop' of a snap-top bottle and felt the cool drizzle hit my ass. Bless you, Vincent.

Sam wasted no time poking the head of his cock into me. I sucked in a breath as he slowed for a moment, waiting until I pushed back into him before pressing steadily on in, stopping only when his balls were mashed against mine. He'd started on his knees, then he got to his feet, standing outside my legs, thrusting down into me. My prostate didn't stand a chance at that angle, which was fine with me. I wanted to be fucked quick and hard, and Sam knew me well enough to know that.

He hung onto my shoulders and banged away, yanking me back against his thighs as he battered my prostate into submission. I had a death grip on my cock, stroking quickly, and in record time, my balls were churning. My heart was hammering in my chest, and the harsh sound of our breathing filled the otherwise silent room until the first blast of my orgasm caught me unawares. I yelped as it ripped its way up my cock, spewing onto the towel Vincent had put out for us.

As my ass pulsed around Sam's dick, he plowed deeply into me and hung there for a second, trembling as the storm built. Suddenly he grunted harshly, and began to jerk through one of the hardest orgasms I've ever felt him have. Each time his body convulsed he shuddered, shaking me as well.

After a few moments, he pulled free of me, and went over backwards until he was flat out on the floor. I turned to face him and sat down between his knees on the towel. Sam's softening cock lay across his open fly, oozing a final few drops of cum onto his chef's pants. He lay still for a couple minutes before speaking, one hand splayed on his heaving chest and the other flung out across the floor.

"Fuck, you turn me on! It's a good thing I'm a healthy man, or that one would have killed me."

He reached a hand to me and I crawled to his side, lying down with my head on his upper arm and my hand on his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair, fisting his hand and tugging gently now and then. It felt great, and I dozed off in the total relaxation that a really good orgasm leaves behind. Finally, though, Sam stirred.

"Wake up, baby, I gotta get back to work." He pulled me up so he could look at me. "What was that all about? You okay?"

I shrugged and kissed him. "Yeah, I just had a yen for you."

"A yen, huh? Well, I've always got a yen for your hot ass, so don't be shy about giving in to those urges. You hungry?"

I hadn't been, having eaten lunch with Tay not all that long ago, but now I was starving, so I followed him back down the steps and into the kitchen, sitting on the stool where it had all begun almost nine years ago. My cock was still chubby and pretty obvious in my tights, so I draped a napkin across my lap, just like that first night I'd sat there.

Sam made me a plate piled with all the best that Stiva's had to offer and shared it with me, stopping by for an occasional bite while supervising dinner preparations. Vincent sat a basket of bread next to my elbow, along with a glass of wine, and I stayed there for another hour and a half, watching Sam manage the busy kitchen with ease.

There's something about watching the person you love do a thing they're really good at. My heart pinched a little whenever Sam caught my eye and smiled at me, his teeth flashing white in his dark face. I knew I was feeling overly emotional, and a couple times I was close to tears, sitting there in the bright white kitchen.

During a lull, I finally got up and made my way to the back door. Sam followed me out, holding me close with an arm over my shoulder. When we reached my car, he turned me to face him, planting his crotch on mine so that I was pinned against the door. He gathered me close and just held me for a minute before leaning back to look at me.

"You've been talking to Adam, haven't you?" he asked. I nodded. He studied my face for a moment before saying, "I don't like seeing you unhappy, Dean, but I can't fix that one for you."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm okay. I just needed to see you."

He kissed me goodbye and I drove back to the barn still depressed, but comforted, and glowing from the rowdy sex. I pulled into the yard just as Katie was hopping out of her car with a big smile. She bounced over to hug me and plant a kiss on my cheek. I hugged her back, holding on longer than usual, and she must have sensed that I needed something because she tightened her arms and just stood there holding me. She smelled nice, and her body was warm and soft where it pressed against mine, and I began to understand a little of what drew Max to her. Not to desire, but to understand.

Max pulled in just then, so I released her. She looked into my face for a second longer, then turned away and launched herself at him. He was used to her by now, and caught her under the arms to swing her around. She laughed and kissed him, and then he turned to me.

"I finished the Branson's portrait. The one of the girl and the pony. I want to show it to you before I take it to them. I like it, but I'm not sure if it's what they wanted, exactly."

He reached into the back of his truck, lifted out the picture, which was wrapped in an old sheet, and propped it on the back bumper. He folded the sheet back, giving Katie and me our first look at his latest creation. I didn't know the Bransons other than by reputation rich, conservative, mid thirties but I'd assumed that they wanted a somewhat formal portrait of their nine-year-old daughter Julia on a spit and polished little show pony of some sort. With that in mind, I gazed at Matt's picture in a state of shock.

A fat, shaggy, brown and white Shetland pony stood dozing in ankle-deep grass eyes closed, hip-shot as a young girl in t-shirt and old jeans lay on her back at his feet with her hands behind her head and her eyes closed to the sun. She had one knee bent as she smiled a dreamy nine-year-old's smile, and you could practically hear the bees buzzing in the wildflowers that dotted the field.

Max had done this one in watercolors, then gone over it with pen and ink, detailing facial features, blades of grass, the wrinkles in her jeans, the 'feathers' on the pony's fetlocks. As I let my eyes roam across the painting, I could almost feel the tickle of the grass on the back of Julia's neck, and the sense of contentment that both she and the pony felt. By the time Max uttered an agonized, "Well?" I was grinning in delight.

"Does the pony really look like that?" I asked.

"Not any more. They trimmed him up after the first time I was there. Now he looks like a show horse. But he did, and he was a lot cuter then."

"Did they ask you for a formal pose?"

He shook his head. "Mrs. Branson just said she wanted a picture of Julia with Daisy and it had to be an odd size 17x20 to fit in an old frame she has. So I did one that I thought really caught what the two of them are like together."

"Well, I don't know the woman, but that's an amazing picture of a kid and her pony. They're gonna love it."

"God, I hope you're right." Max blew out a breath. "I guess I'll take it over there. Wanna come?" he asked Katie. He slipped the picture carefully back into its sheet, and I made a mental note to buy him some carrying portfolios so that he could make a little classier presentation.

They came zooming into the yard an hour later. Max leaped out and jogged over to where I was talking to one of the owners about their overdue vet bill. He waited until I finished, vibrating with excitement, and then shoved a check in my face. He and I had discussed what he should ask for the picture back when he agreed to do it. Apparently, Mrs. Branson had agreed because the check was for the full $2000.

"She liked it, huh?" I grinned at him.

"Well, she scared the shit outta me at first. She just stood there staring at it, and then she started crying.

When she calmed down a little, she told me that it wasn't at all what she expected, but that it was exactly what she wanted."

"Kind of like what Chloe told you about the dog picture. Seems you have a knack for catching the little nuances that make it really personal. I'm really proud of you, baby."

We celebrated that night with Max's favorite desert Snickers cheesecake a Stiva's specialty that I tried to stay away from because it had to be a thousand calories a bite. I shared a piece with Sam, who frowned at me every time I picked at the candy topping. After the fourth time he clunked his fork into mine.

"Damn it, just eat it normally, will you? You're picking all the good stuff off."

"That's the least fattening part," I whined.

"Oh, Christ, just enjoy it. I'll work it off you later."

So I did, and he did.

Sunday was clear and hot, perfect for a pool day with friends. Maria had prepared all sorts of salads and side dishes, and Sam had a couple big trays of stuff ready for the grill. Max and Katie had ridden in the morning, and were now playing in the pool. As I watched, Katie trotted out to the end of the diving board and leaped in on top of Max.

They both climbed out a few minutes later to lie in the sun, and I looked at them fondly. Katie was wearing the smallest bikini I'd ever seen. It was bright pink, and contrasted nicely with Max's slinky black speedo. Neither suit left much to the imagination, but the way things had been going with them, I supposed I should be happy they were wearing anything at all.  
Jesse and Ben pulled in around twelve, shirtless with their swim suits peaking out the tops of their shorts. The sight of Jesse's spectacular chest and arms had me entranced until Sam walked past me and pinched my ass. "Get a grip, Dean," he muttered as he went out to greet them.

As he and Jesse stepped into a long, close hug, Sam squeezed his eyes tightly shut and pressed his face down into Jesse's shoulder, the muscles in his arms standing out as he clutched Jesse to him. At that moment, with one of those rushes of understanding that leave you light-headed and a little ill, I realized that he was much more apprehensive about the impending trial than I'd thought. After a minute or so, as Ben looked on with a little smile, they broke apart, but Jesse kept a hand on the back of Sam's neck as they came into the kitchen.

I hugged Jesse and Ben, grabbed a handful of wine coolers from the fridge, and we headed out to the pool. Max leaped off his towel when he saw Jesse, and flew into his arms. Jesse rocked him back and forth for several moments, his face pressed to Max's as he whispered in his ear. Max clung to him, his slender form engulfed in Jesse's big arms. Max had come so far since Jesse and Sam had rescued him from a frightened, abused child to a loving, talented young man and I would not let Rand hurt him any further.

Katie stood up more slowly, staring at Jesse with wide eyes. He looked her up and down over Max's shoulder, smiling at her until she returned it with a tentative one of her own.

"You must be Katie," he said as he released Max. "Nice suit," he added as he dropped his shorts to reveal a skimpy square-cut suit the same shade of pink as her bikini. It was snug, low cut, and well packed, and nobody but Jesse could have pulled it off. He looked like an ad for Muscle Beach magazine as he held out his hand to Katie. "Come here, darlin'. I don't bite."

He pulled her to his side with an arm around her shoulders, and they turned to grin at us, both of them dropping into body builder poses. Together they looked like the mixed pairs swim suit champions good looking, well built, and barely dressed.

After a moment, he grabbed her arm, put a hand on her hip, and lifted her effortlessly onto his shoulder. She shrieked and clutched at him as he took a couple long strides and leaped into the pool. Max hopped in after them, and the water churned as the three of them rough-housed. Jesse picked up whichever one of them was closest, and tossed them as far as he could across the pool as they yelled and thrashed. After the emotional reunion, Jesse was doing his best to lighten the mood.

We had a lazy lunch, moving to the shade of the patio while we ate Maria's excellent chicken enchiladas and rice. The afternoon passed slowly, and then at one point Sam, Max, and Jesse went in the house. I knew they were going over what to expect in the courtroom, so that it wouldn't be as big a shock for Sam and Max. For an hour or so, I lay in the sun thinking about how I didn't know Sam quite as well as I'd thought. That made me feel terrible, because I expected he wouldn't have missed something like that if the situation had been reversed.

When they came back out, Max's eyes were red. He went to Katie, who pulled him close for a moment, then took his hand and led him away along the path to the jungle pool. As they settled onto a bench by a fountain, I could see Katie talking steadily, and figured Max would be okay with her.

Sam looked tired as he came to me, scooting me over on the chaise lounge so that he could lie down with his arm across my chest. I pressed my face to his and spoke softly into his ear. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't realize . . ."

He rubbed his hand slowly down my side until it rested on my hip and pulled me closer.

"It's okay, baby. I didn't realize myself until I saw Jesse today. I guess cause he was there, seeing him kind of brought it all back." He turned his head to kiss me. "Just stay here with me for a bit."

He settled down, and as we lay there, I felt him gradually relax against me. It was peaceful and healing, and when we finally roused ourselves an hour later, Sam gave me a tender, intimate smile, the kind he usually reserves for after sex, and I knew we'd be okay.

Cas showed up around four, followed closely by Sky, and Gabriel. Zane and Chris rolled in about fifteen minutes later, and David showed up five minutes after that. Cas had run into David a few times here at the house, so they knew each other a little, and Chris surprised us when he said he owned a painting David had done years ago. David began to smile as Chris described a grassy hill at dawn with a flock of partridge in the foreground.

"God, I remember that one. One of the last oils I did. I sold it at that art fair they had one year at the high school." He looked more closely at Chris. "And I remember you! You worked me over until I practically gave you that painting."

Chris laughed. "Yeah, I wanted it something fierce, but I only had like $42 to my name. I want you to know that I've gotten more enjoyment from that painting than any other piece of art I own. It's where I go in my head when I need to relax. So, thanks for giving me a deal."

They went off talking about art, and I marveled at the little connections between people that you often never have any idea of. Now all we were missing was Tay. I'd almost given up on him when he poked his head into the kitchen as I was in getting more ice.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, coming over to look out at the pool. He was wearing shorts and a tank top, and he looked great. I'd never seen him in anything but his work clothes, and now I couldn't wait to get him out of his shorts so I could see his entire body. I walked over to him and draped an arm across his shoulders.

"You haven't missed a thing. I think there's only three guys you don't know. The older guy sitting next to Sky is David, Max's art instructor. The other two are Jesse in the pink suit, and his partner Ben."

Tay stood there for several minutes, just looking at everyone. I stayed with him watching his eyes slide up and down Sky, linger on Jesse's muscles, admire Sam's hard body wondering what he was thinking. Finally, he took a deep breath, and I figured he was ready to join the party. I handed him some liquid courage in the form of a cold beer, and we walked outside.

Sam and Max were the only ones who knew what Tay was struggling with, but we're a fairly civilized bunch, so I knew no one would embarrass him. Sam got to his feet when he saw us, coming over to greet Tay warmly. Max was comfortable enough to hug him, something that surprised both Tay and me, but Tay quickly hugged him back. Katie gave him a dazzling smile, which he returned somewhat shyly, as if she was an unexpected distraction. I have to admit Katie's blond, curvy femininity in the midst of all our gay maleness was an odd juxtaposition.

Jesse was watching Tay with that piercing gaze of his, and I figured he could read him easily unsure, undecided, and uncomfortable. After Tay sank into a lawn chair and busied himself with his beer, Jesse got up for more chips, and then wandered his way to the empty chair next to Tay. There he stayed for the next twenty minutes, smiling and talking. Tay nodded now and then, spoke occasionally, and finally grinned at something Jesse said to him. As Jesse stood up, he gripped the back of Tay's neck and gave him an affectionate shake. Tay watched him walk away with a smile, and I felt good that he was here with us, knowing that what he hadn't really acknowledged yet was accepted here without question.

The day stayed warm, and we all ended up back in the pool for a last frolic before dinner. Tay stripped off his tank with no problem, but was a little slower with his shorts, waiting until most of us were in the water before dropping them to reveal a suit similar to Jesse's, but a nice safe navy with red trim that looked new. I figured he'd bought it for today, and my heart went out to him, coming here this afternoon for a glimpse of a life so different from what he knew, but maybe exactly what he was meant for.

He was nicely built broad shouldered, and a little heavier than he looked in clothes. His belly was flat and solid, his legs strong. The black wedge of hair on his chest was thickest in the center, lightening as it swirled out across his nipples, and narrowing as it fell down the center of his stomach. The sight of him took me quickly back to the blow job, and I could almost taste him again as I recalled the feel of his cock in my mouth.

His suit started several inches below his navel, and those several inches were adorned with a trail of dark curls that spilled from his belly button down into the suit. The pouch of the suit was stuffed with his fat dick and huge nuts, and as he turned to walk to the pool, several pairs of eyes followed the shifting cargo in his shorts. I got a kick out of being the only guy who knew exactly what was in there.

I let him get almost to the edge of the pool and then ran at him, grabbing him in my arms and flinging us both into the pool. We sank for a moment, all tangled up together before he broke loose from me with a surge of muscles and rose to the surface, grinning at me. The brief contact with his almost naked body started a tingle in my crotch that I enjoyed until the cool water calmed me down.

Max had climbed onto Jesse's shoulders, Katie onto Chris's, and they were trying to topple each other into the water. They were evenly matched, so this went on for a while, until I could tell everyone was getting tired. Finally, Chris sort of launched Katie at Max, and all four of them went under in a tidal wave that almost drowned the rest of us. Katie called it a day at that point, going into the house to change and grab something to eat for the drive home.

It was cooling down by then, so the rest of us toweled off, stripped off our suits, and put our shorts and t-shirts back on. This was accomplished wherever we'd left our clothes, so most of us were standing around the pool area butt naked as we dried off. Tay hesitated only a moment before turning slightly away and tugging his suit down.

Out popped that incredible cock of his, not much smaller soft than it was hard. Most of us were all shriveled up from the cool water of the pool, but Tay's dick was thick and full, arching out over his low-hanging balls. The black tangle of his pubic hair emphasized the deep pink of his penis.

"Damn," Zane said in a reverent tone, "that's some dick you got there. You happy to see us, or is that its natural condition?"

Tay glanced down at his cock like he wasn't quite sure what Zane was talking about.

"That's about what it always looks like," he replied, looking up to see all of us gazing in admiration. He flushed a deep red, and reached for his shorts.

"Shit, don't be shy. If I had a dick like that, I'd go naked all the time." Zane laughed at the thought.

"Honey, if you had a dick like that, we'd never leave the house," Chris stated, which got a laugh from the rest of us, and the moment passed.

Sam cooked up steaks, ribs, and hot links, and we dined on the patio again, sitting around one large table together. Tay was between Sam and Gabriel, looking happier than I'd seen him in months. Many men go their entire lives suppressing their homosexuality, but I hoped that Tay would find the strength and the courage to acknowledge his. Whatever the consequences, it had to be better than the abject misery I'd seen on his face at the barn a couple weeks ago.

Sky was sitting next to David with Jesse on his other side. He and Gabriel hadn't spent much time together today, and I had to agree with Sky that maybe they just weren't meant for each other. That got me wondering about Max and Cas. Was that going to become a permanent thing? Max still went out with Sam's cousin Eddie now and then, dancing and God knows what else. After stocking Max up with his first batch of condoms, I'd quit keeping track, so I had no idea what Max was up to and who he was up to it with.

Conversation ebbed and flowed as we ate, and as I listened, I was struck by the variety and complexity of this group of men I called friends. We were artists, chefs, business owners, financial planners, horse trainers. We were as different in many aspects of our lives as one person could be from another, but we were all honest, caring men, men who tried to live good lives. On the spur of the moment, I stood up and stepped behind the chair to my right. Sam stopped eating and looked up as I bent over Chris with my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you for being here tonight," I said softly into his ear. "I treasure your friendship."

He looked up at me in surprise, searching my face with curious eyes. I'm not sure what he saw, but he looped an arm up around my neck and pulled me down to hold me close for a moment.

When he released me, I moved to the next chair where Zane smiled at me as I hugged him. Cas was next, and by then everyone was silent, watching me. One by one, I moved around the table, saying something personal to each of them, letting them know what they meant to me.

Sky returned my kiss warmly, and his 'I love you, too' was the first time I'd heard that from him. Jesse didn't say a word, just grasped my arm in an iron fist, and held me tight for a moment. Tay was next to last, seated to Sam's left. I rested my hands on his shoulders as I leaned down to his ear.

"You belong here with us," I told him.

He nodded, reaching up to put his hands over mine. "I know," he whispered, our faces close. When I kissed him lightly, he returned the kiss.

By the time I got to Sam, I was out of words and close to tears, so I just buried my face in the curve of his shoulder. He gripped my wrist and pulled me around onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me as I composed myself.

After a moment, David asked Max how his latest commission was going, and attention turned away from Sam and me.

"That was a wonderful thing you just did." He nuzzled into the hollow of my collarbone, speaking softly so that only I could hear him. "Is it any wonder that I love you so much."

A while later we all wandered down to the hot tub, steamy and inviting in the cool evening air. The dim garden lights were enough to see by, so I left the tub lights off. My emotional display at the dinner table had had an effect on everyone, and we were quiet as we undressed and slipped into the bubbly water.

I ended up with Tay on one side of me and Sam on the other. Sam slid a hand up my thigh, and as I spread my legs a little to let him in, I bumped into Tay's knee. He didn't move away from the contact, and after a moment, I settled one hand onto his muscled thigh and the other on Sam's.

Talk turned to the trial. Jesse had been working with the DA's office, mostly persuading reluctant witnesses to come forward with information. They had a solid case, and there wasn't much doubt that Rand would go away for a long time.

If he never saw daylight again, it would be too soon for me. I knew that Sam was strong enough to get through the trial whole, but I was concerned about Max. I looked at him now, his head on Cas's shoulder, eyes closed, and wondered if the love and respect Sam and I had given him these past nine months would be enough.

David was the first to call it a night, and when he climbed out of the tub, Jesse and Ben left also, and that started an exodus. Within a few minutes, it was just Cas, Max, Tay, Sam, and me. When Max yawned for the third time in ten minutes, Cas stood and tugged him to his feet, saying, "I think it's past our bedtime, Max."

Sam had been playing with my balls for the last twenty minutes, and I was starting to think seriously about clamping his hand around my bobbing cock, but Tay seemed in no hurry to leave, and I wasn't real comfortable fooling around with him right there. Sam, however, had no such inhibitions, and turned toward me so that he could get both hands on me. With one hand on my dick, he slid the other between my legs and under me so that he could tickle my ass with a fingertip.

As I dropped my head back against the tub ledge, Tay glanced at me. I'm sure he recognized the look on my face because his eyes darkened and his thigh tensed under my hand. I slid my hand up his leg until my little finger touched his nuts, then began to squeeze his leg in the same rhythm Sam was stroking me.

As I neared orgasm my breathing quickened, and in between my own pants, I could hear Tay's. His nuts lifted away from my finger for an instant, and then pushed back firmly. When it happened quickly a second and third time, I realized he was jerking off. That really wound me up, and in the heat of the moment, I reached for his balls, grabbing them gently and tugging them down, then kneading them in my hand. Tay's leg lifted against mine as he spread his legs for me, so I shoved my hand a little deeper and pressed a finger just below his sack.

Sam bit the side of my neck just then, and as I began to shoot, I squeezed Tay's nuts harder than I meant to. He cried out and bucked under my hand, pumping into the swirling water as I massaged his balls. I opened my eyes, rolling my head to him. His face was contorted with the force of his climax, the tendons in his neck were taut, and his body jerked with each spasm of his cock.

I released him before he was finished, figuring it would be less awkward if he decided to be weird about me helping. I kept watching him until his eyes opened, focusing slowly on me as he came back to himself. We stared at each other for a long minute before I smiled at him.

"Glad you came over this evening?"

He just nodded without speaking, and stood to climb out of the tub. I watched him dress, tucking that chunky cock into his baggy shorts, and tugging on his shirt. He squatted down and put a hand on each of our shoulders. "Thanks for tonight. I enjoyed it."

I tipped my head to rest my cheek on his hand. "See you next week."

After he left, Sam hugged me as I began to stroke him. He nuzzled my ear, squirming slightly as I pinched his nipple.

"I'll say one thing for you, Dean. You know how to throw a party."

We chuckled and headed up to bed. Sam jumped on me as soon as we hit the mattress, climaxing quickly as I sucked him off with a finger up his ass. We took a short shower to rinse off the cum and chlorine, then snuggled up together for one last night before the trial began.

Early on the first day of the trial the three of us climbed into the car I'd hired. The federal courthouse was an hour away, and I didn't want us to have to cope with our emotions and traffic by driving ourselves. I'd thought about taking hotel rooms for a few days, but the comforting familiarity of our own home seemed like a better idea.

Despite knowing that Rand would be in the courtroom with us, it was still a shock for Max and Sam when he was led in. Max glanced at him and quickly looked back at me for reassurance, his eyes wide and frightened. I put him between Sam and me, holding his sweaty hand, and wishing irrationally that Rand had somehow died before this ever came to trial.

Sam stared him down, holding his gaze until Rand looked away. There was a fierce resolve in Sam that I'd never felt from him before. From the moment we'd awakened that morning, he had been focused and intent. He was sweet to me, knowing that I was dreading this, but he was distant, and I knew his thoughts were elsewhere.

I'd never seen Rand before, and I was struck by how ordinary he appeared until he met my eyes. His cold, flat stare prickled the hairs on my arms, and I studied his face, wondering at a person who could do the things I knew he'd done. I reached across Max for Sam's hand, praying that the trial went quickly and smoothly, so that we could get back to our lives.

The three of us sat there, taking comfort from each other and waiting for things to get started, when I felt a hard hand settle onto my shoulder. Jesse's face appeared between Max and me, hugging us together so that our faces pressed to his. Having him there was a huge relief. I knew that Rand couldn't get to us, but Jesse's solid, capable, kick-ass presence was just what we needed.

"Thank you," I whispered to him. He gripped my shoulder more firmly for a second, and then shifted over to talk to Sam. I watched relief flood across Sam's face, and I felt that twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing no matter how much you love someone that you simply cannot be everything they need.

Cas was not in the courtroom at Max's request. A few days before, I'd told Max that Cas could ride with us, but Max said he wasn't coming. I looked at Max questioningly until he finally replied.

"I just don't want him there. I've told him a lot about what happened to me before, but I don't want him to hear it all again like that." So it was just the three of us, and Jesse.

The morning passed slowly as we listened to judge's instructions and opening remarks from both prosecution and defense. I watched the defense lawyer, wondering what Rand could possibly have said that would make him sound innocent.

At one point the DA began talking about a man who had been a victim as a child, and fifteen years later, had been instrumental in Rand's arrest. I suddenly realized he was talking about Sam, and turned to him as he took a deep breath, his jaw tight.

They called Sam's name halfway through the second day. He squeezed my leg briefly, and took the witness stand, speaking calmly as the DA ran him through events leading up to the night he'd met Rand.

The defense attorney voiced a barrage of objections about the DA leading the witness. Some intense arguments between the DA, the desperate defense attorney, and the judge ensued, and after the judge threatened the defense attorney with contempt, things calmed down.

As Sam began to describe how Rand grabbed him into the car that first night a skinny seventeen-year-old struggling against a grown man who outweighed him by fifty pounds his voice tightened perceptibly.

He paused when he came to the physical details of the rape, and I could see him gathering himself for the horrors that lay ahead. I watched as he described in excruciating detail how Rand had torn him open, and then left him bruised and bloody on a street corner at three in the morning. I felt light-headed and hollow as Sam told about bleeding for three days, too terrified and ashamed to tell anyone, wrapping his bloody underwear in newspaper before stuffing it in the bottom of the garbage can.

Hearing what I knew to be an act of brutal violence reduced to clinical, courtroom-acceptable terms such as 'erection' and 'anus,' somehow made it even more awful, if that was possible. I glanced at the jury; each of them was riveted to Sam's face, their expressions showing various stages of revulsion and disgust. I wondered for a moment if that was due to the homosexual nature of the rape, or simply because it was an act of violence against a boy not unlike some of their own children.

The DA moved on to the point in time when Sam broke off his relationship with Rand, asking him what had been his motivation to make the break. Sam had been looking at the DA, but now he turned to me and locked onto my eyes.

"I met someone and fell in love. I knew then that I had to get away."

I stared at Sam as a smile spread across my face. Knowing that he loved me was one thing; hearing him announce it in a courtroom full of strangers, with a court reporter taking it all down word for word, was quite another. He held my gaze for a long, intense moment before turning his attention back to the DA.

Sam went on to describe the day he was attacked at our house. Rand and two of his guys had jumped him as he let himself in the side door from the garage. They'd ripped his clothes off as they dragged him down the hall. At this point Sam's torn shirt was held up as an exhibit. I looked at it, vividly remembering that day I'd found it at the bottom of the stairs and realized something was truly wrong with Sam.

As Sam described his injuries from that day, slides were shown on a large screen. The first one was of Sam's wrists, deeply scored and bleeding from the yellow rope that had been embedded in his flesh. The second one was a photo of his back, marked with the oozing black burns. The third one was a close-up of the worst burn, seared a quarter inch deep into his body; the skin crisp, black, and curling around the edges. As I looked at those larger-than-life pictures, the horror of that afternoon swept over me.

"Oh, God," I moaned softly as Max stared at the screen in sick fascination. He'd heard the story from Sam while they were still in Dallas, but the photos were graphic evidence of just how bad it had been. Max began to shake, and I struggled to get myself under control so that I could comfort him. Jesse clamped a hand on the back of my neck, and wrapped his other arm around Max with his hand spread over Max's chest.

I closed my eyes, concentrating on the warmth of his firm grip, and after a moment, it was enough to steady me. Matt had turned to rest his head on Jesse's arm, and seemed to be calming down a little. As I looked at his pale, shaken expression, I began to get very concerned over how he would cope when it was his turn in the witness box.

Sam was on the stand for four solid hours. The defense attorney never interrupted his testimony again and I listened to every word Sam said. He spoke of the aftermath of the attack, how it had affected him emotionally, how it began to erode our relationship. Watching him relive the worse days of his life changed something in me. As I listened to Sam talk, listened to the tremor in his voice, I began to hate Rand with a smoldering intensity I hadn't thought I possessed. No matter what punishment he was given, it wouldn't be enough to atone for the atrocities he had inflicted on the man I loved.

When the now subdued defense attorney was finished with Sam, he stood up and took a long slow look at every person in the jury box. Then he turned to stare at Rand for a moment before looking away in disgust. He sat back down next to Max, but reached across him to grip my hand hard.

Sam was quiet on the drive home, staring out the window, lost in thought. Max wasn't in much better shape, sitting close to me with my arm across his shoulders. Cas met us at the house, hugging Max wordlessly as we went into dinner. Maria had come back for the evening to take care of us, quietly serving us beef stew and warm homemade bread with apple pie for desert. Comfort food meant to take our minds off our troubles.

Sam barely spoke through supper, and afterward he led me past the den straight up to our room. His face was tired and sad as he undressed and crawled under the covers. We curled up together, letting the closeness of our bodies work its magic on our damaged spirits. He was silent for a long time, and then he finally whispered to me, "Tell me that you still love me after hearing that filth today."

"Oh, Sam, I love you." I nuzzled into him as he crushed me to him. "I love you." He was trembling, and I tried to wrap myself around him, rolling onto him when he turned onto his back. "I will always love you."

We lay there a long time, our bodies touching from face to toes, and Sam gradually relaxed. I dozed a little bit, but woke to the pressure of Sam's cock hardening into my belly.

I raised my head. It was dark now, but the moon was full, and in its milky light I could see Sam looking at me, his eyes troubled.

"I need you, Dean." His voice was low and thick with desire, and it surged through me, ending in a burst of heat in my crotch.

As he spoke, his erection throbbed between us. I sat up and straddled his hips, trapping his cock behind me so that it pressed along the cleft of my ass. I rose and fell just enough to drag the head of his dick across my hole, and it wasn't long before we were both precum-slick and breathing hard.

I braced my hands on either side of Sam's shoulders and kissed him deeply as he reached between my legs to slide a finger into me. I shuddered with pleasure when he pumped it a few times. With his other hand, he reached under me to grasp the base of his cock. He began to push it slowly into me alongside his steadily pumping finger, and I arched my back as the sensations intensified.

We never broke eye contact as the full length of him eased home. At some point, he'd removed his finger, and now I could feel the veins and ridges of his penis as he moved ever so slowly back out of me. With just the head of his cock in my ass, I leaned down and kissed him.

I've kissed Sam in so many different ways, times, moods, and settings that I would have sworn I knew his mouth as well as I knew my own, but this kiss was different. Hungry, passionate, a little desperate it was full of the tension of the day, and the relief of being alone together, safe in our bed, connected as intimately as we could possibly be. As we kissed, he slid back into me, so that the kiss ended with us moaning into each other's mouths, almost vibrating with desire.

We stayed like that for a long time, moving slowly against each other, kissing, saying 'I love you' into the hush of the night. Sam touched my face often, his warm palm pressed to my cheek, his gentle finger tracing the line of my jaw. His nipples hardened under my hands as I rubbed his chest, and his cock danced inside me when I lightly pinched one. Then he caught my wrists, pulling me down to lay flat on him. His heart thudded against my ribs, beating out the rhythm of his increasing arousal.

I began to feel like I could stay there forever Sam buried deep, our hands and mouths on one another. We've made love in all manner of ways in the years since we'd met slow and loving; rowdy and noisy; sweet and playful; bruising and a little rough. All had their particular charms at the time, but gradually I realized that tonight was something we'd never experienced together. Tonight our aching souls were finding solace in the joining of our bodies.

Suddenly he began to thrust strongly into me. He gripped my hips with steely fingers, slamming me down onto him as his breathing changed from the hard pants of excitement to the beginning gasps of tears. As he began to climax, he finally started to cry three hard, choking sobs that held all the hurt and fear and outrage that he still carried with him. I held him tight, and soon he quieted to shuddery breaths that blew warm and moist against my neck.

"Jesus," he murmured, his voice hoarse with exhaustion. "It frightens me how much I need you."

"Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be right here. I'll always be right here."

I kissed him and wiped the tears from his face as he rolled onto his side and backed into me. For one of the few times in our relationship, we fell asleep with me holding him. My right arm was under his neck, and my left was wrapped around him with my hand on his chest. As he started to drift off, he took my wrist and slid my hand down his belly to cup his testicles. He kept his hand over mine, pressed firmly into him, until sleep took him.

I lay awake for a long time, listening to him breathe, feeling his body relax against me. Until now, I had always felt as though I needed Sam more than he needed me, an imbalance common to most relationships, I suppose. But tonight, kissing him, looking into his eyes as he pumped slowly into me, I knew that he needed me just as much. I brushed my mouth over the back of his neck, breathing him in, before letting myself drift away.

I woke at 3am, suddenly aware that something wasn't right. Sam was breathing peacefully as I eased out of bed, dragged on shorts, and stepped into the hall. The door to the guest room was open, so I walked silently to the end of the hall and peeked in. Cas was alone in the bed, sleeping as deeply as Sam.

I backtracked to Max's room, but it was empty. Concerned now, I trotted down the stairs, and padded along the hall to the den. He was there, huddled under a quilt in his favorite chair. He lifted his head when I came into the room, but didn't say anything, just watched me with haunted eyes. I brought him to his feet and into my arms, hugging him until he relaxed a little. Then I led him back upstairs to our room.

Sam woke up when Max slipped under the covers, pulling him close as I put my arm over them both. None of us spoke, we just held each other, nuzzling and kissing a little until we dozed off. I left our door open so that Cas could find Max if he woke up before we did.

When we got up at seven, Cas was gone, watching over things at the barn while I was tied up with the trial. Max showered with us before going to his own room to dress. He was quiet, but returned my encouraging smile as we ate breakfast.

We made it through the next two days by spending pretty much every moment together. I don't know what Max said to Cas, but the second night he was there to greet Max when we got home, and then left after supper. Max stayed close to Sam or me in the evenings, watching when one of us left the room, keeping a hand on whichever of us he was sitting with. It was reminiscent of his first few weeks with us when he needed all the love and reassurance we could provide. At night, we all climbed into our big bed, arms and legs over one another. There was no sex after that first night between Sam and me. We simply needed to be together.

TBC


End file.
